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Hey, that's my product! I'll go upload the original icons somewhere now. e: Gentlemen, behold!: the original DickBag icon!  And the full-size in case you still can't see the pencil. 
Polio Vax Scene fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Aug 13, 2013 |
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Aug 13, 2013 22:04
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| # ¿ May 5, 2024 09:06 |
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I vaguely remember a story from the old thread, anyone care to recall the correct details? I think it was something like this: An IT worker gets a letter from an unknown address, all that is inside is a CD. On the CD is a video file. That video file is nothing but a camera pointed at a computer monitor, where someone is quietly using a piece of software for several minutes, then a voice shouts "See? It doesn't work!" and that's the end of the video. 
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Aug 14, 2013 17:20
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HEY KIDS! It's time to play "guess which version of the file the client needs!" Be careful, if you choose the wrong one, their system crashes today! Woooo! there is no documentation - INV_02012011 - INV_07122013 - INV_07192011 - INV_07232013 - INV_08012011 - INV_09192012 - INV_09212010 - INV_10052010 - INV_10212010 - INV_backup - INV_backup_works - INV_dont_use - INV_New_old - INV_New_older - INV_old (2) - INV_OLD (3) - INV_old
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Aug 15, 2013 21:00
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bobua posted:What's that joke about the broken down car that the IT guy wants to push back up the hill to see if it breaks down again? Probably not the same one but quick googling gives this one. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? "I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way." "No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way." "Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
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Aug 16, 2013 21:09
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I'm like 4000 posts behind on this thread but I thought you all might appreciate the email I just got. Subject: Could you tell me how to access the registration window to enter a new registration key for a client (without me downloading the manual and reading it). Body:
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Nov 1, 2013 16:20
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Dear chucklefuck if you copy + paste me an error log and it says "General network error" right in the goddamn error log don't try to stop me when I tell you there was a network error.
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Jan 20, 2014 22:24
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Why are doctors (and medical companies by proxy) such assbags? I hate them so much. e: 
Polio Vax Scene fucked around with this message at 23:44 on Jan 23, 2014 |
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Jan 23, 2014 23:41
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go3 posted:The golden time as a MSP is when you've carefully selected and cultivated your clients so they trust you 100% and are willing to do virtually anything you tell them so after its all set up and running smoothly you just sit back all Maytag repairman like and collect those nice monthly checks while occasionally installing updates. Imagine this but being a developer. My pod smells like cinnamon and fresh dollar bills. We have one client that is a special snowflake but they're some loaded medical company that always pays their bills.
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Feb 7, 2014 16:11
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Agrikk posted:I just got a new ticket. The ticket has me building 30 physical servers in the DMZ in a boot-from-SAN configuration (Meaning that I'll have to coordinate with networking, data security, storage and datacenter smart hands). Ticket status: Closed, unresolved Status reason: Delorean malfunctioning
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Feb 12, 2014 21:20
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Agrikk posted:I have a side business listed on my resume with my job title as Sole Proprietor. Amazing how many triggers I get for that one that show up in my inbox for "Truck Drivers Wanted! Owner/Operator" I sometimes daydream about being a truck driver instead of a cubicle monkey.
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Feb 13, 2014 21:50
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Be sure to leave the seat up, even after making GBS threads.
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Feb 20, 2014 18:40
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A phone call came in. The guy who normally handles issues this phone call was related to was working from out of the office today, so my immediate response was to write to our email support his issues and I will send them to the appropriate person. Queue me sitting with the phone next to my head for the next five minutes while neither of us say anything and the person on the other end is typing up the email to support. I even ask if there is anything I can help with and get no response. When this person is done they hang up without even saying bye. Rude.
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Mar 12, 2014 19:58
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mattfl posted:At the last healthcare company I worked, sending messages from unlocked accounts happened one too many times and eventually they put in a policy that it was an immediate termination to send an email from someone else's computer! So this coworker I don't like managed to send an email using my computer, no idea how it happened I'm always super careful, anyway can you fire him now please?
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Mar 13, 2014 16:16
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Spent all morning trying to figure out why a client's DateTimes were getting the month and day transposed, guess where their servers are [not] hosted? gently caress you America, why you gotta do everything rear end backwards.
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Mar 27, 2014 17:28
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rolleyes posted:Re. datechat: There's a joke about precision in here somewhere.
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Mar 27, 2014 23:00
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There are certainly worse things you can come to work smelling like.
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Apr 29, 2014 17:13
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We have a new hire that reads but doesn't comprehend emails. In one eye and out the other. My email: We have a new Thing, it isn't in box A with the other Things, it is in a new box, B. Reply email: I tried to find the new Thing but it wasn't in the box with the other Things. Just read your emails!! Also when this new hire has a problem that can't be solved the expected way they take the traditional route of 'give up or immediately ask for help' instead of 'try to use brain and think of alternate way to solve problem'.
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May 6, 2014 17:48
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hirvox posted:The most common mistake seems to be insufficient data organization. If you have dozens of gigabytes of data or more, you better have them in multiple site collections. The worst example I've seen personally involved a 700+GB site collection with user management done solely with Sharepoint groups. The environment was slow as molasses, search was completely broken and you couldn't even assign ACLs to items anymore. Uh oh. We're supporting a client that sounds exactly like this... What are your rates?
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May 9, 2014 16:47
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This just came in!
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May 9, 2014 17:26
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GreenNight posted:The official word here is that as long as you're on the company PC, they do. Want privacy? Do it on your phone. This, also do personal poo poo on a junker or a laptop you bring in for yourself if you don't want to screen share.
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May 19, 2014 22:06
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That doesn't help much. Your password may as well be g z n y t. I think this has been discussed before in this thread?
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May 20, 2014 15:12
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Race Realists posted:is this a trick question? Here's a more realistic question I could get: "Help my printer is not working" What do you do? 
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May 22, 2014 14:49
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spankmeister posted:really? Don't be getting any ideas now!
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Jun 4, 2014 14:43
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Duct tape one of these to a normal speaker and you're all set!  
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Jun 5, 2014 15:19
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:it:
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Jun 18, 2014 19:39
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Godsped posted:She joked about doing that but instead she's going to sort through all of them. I can't wait to hear about her exasperation after a few thousand.
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Jun 26, 2014 22:58
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Sickening posted:That's not just dumb design though. A design that stupid has to be fraudulent in nature. Do you guys only purchase monster cables as well? The government is above the law.
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Jun 30, 2014 15:59
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God drat. I bet he's a blast at parties.
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Jul 17, 2014 17:19
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eithedog posted:Now you've made me feel old... Though to be fair "Fixing a "broken" mouse by cleaning the rollers - $50.00" is even older I like how this one doesn't even list a price: quote:Bringing in your own copy of the original Norton Utilities v1.0
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Jul 21, 2014 22:49
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If you are going to do that try to do it in a way that doesn't make you look like an asshat though!
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Jul 23, 2014 21:52
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That printer is trying to seduce you.
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Sep 3, 2014 14:51
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Ahdinko posted:(I think i accidently put this in one of the other IT threads and was told it should go here so im crossposting it) Ah, I see you monitor the proxy for OUYA Inc.
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Oct 7, 2014 16:41
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Same kind of person who posts all kinds of insanely damaging stuff all over their public facebook I bet.
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Oct 13, 2014 15:38
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The Muffinlord posted:A ticket came in: Do I have a Bort Reader? .Bort!? Who names their file extension .Bort!?
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Oct 16, 2014 19:34
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Still refusing to use Lync over here because it's such a POS.
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Oct 24, 2014 20:57
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Should have played the actual Scary Movie. Uncensored, of course.
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Oct 31, 2014 21:48
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Allergic to wasps, missed and got stung, died/going to sue you now
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Nov 6, 2014 16:14
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Rumor has it they renamed it Skype for Business because the word Lync was triggering too many people.
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Nov 11, 2014 22:27
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I refuse to believe that came from a CEO, the most vile of creatures
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Nov 26, 2014 17:20
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| # ¿ May 5, 2024 09:06 |
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Doing something nice for someone and get paid for it? What a spineless coward you are, how do those boots taste, etc
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Jan 1, 2015 21:49
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