B-League MMA: I think it is a fairly strong child, so I will defeat her without mercy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > B-League MMA: I think it is a fairly strong child, so I will defeat her without mercy

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-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

LobsterMobster posted:

All Gracies should stop fighting.

Can you even technically call what a Gracie does in the cage "fighting"?

# ¿ Sep 15, 2013 20:40

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 20:22

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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Mosaic Perception posted:

Actually there have been trans women, who used to be men, beating the ever living poo poo out of women. I'm absolutely against this and people catch a lot of flak for pointing out that it's obviously bullshit to allow. Including Joe Rogan, who is arguably the face of MMA in America.

It's best to not read GBS at all, I've found.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2013 01:40

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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Bean Fried posted:

PSP Women's Bantamweight Rankings October 12, 2013
17) Holly Holm (5-0) (Legacy FC)

# ¿ Oct 12, 2013 16:18

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuCh_3okijk

This is a thing happening in my neck of the woods. If I can get free tickets I'm definitely going.

Dubstep, guns, women, and dude's fighting. What else do you want?

# ¿ Oct 24, 2013 17:29

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

@ArielHelwani posted:

I received this press release from Maximum Fighting Championship today. This has to be the leader for the "weirdest press release of the year award."

MMA: The Grim Fairytale Part 1

By MMA Mother Goose MFC Staff

Once upon a time, in a sport created long, long ago, there was a certain amount of honour and hope, perpetuated by the classic good versus evil stories of beating the odds and the dark forces hell bent on forcing our protagonist heroes off their righteous paths.

It was a time of great potential. Sponsorship dollars were at an all-time high and the sport of mixed martial arts was poised to defeat the evil queen of combat sports, boxing, and take its rightful throne as the ruler of the land of fighting.

Then the bandwagon on its way to the victory parade began to pick up a ragtag band of stragglers and opportunists who would cause great strife in the land and attempt to rewrite the fairytale ending we should have been passing on to our children, and their children after them.

Jack and the Beanstalk

For the past three or four years the kingdom of MMA has been under siege. Dark forces have been at work commandeering the hard earned money of the people and allocating a small percentage of it back to the knights of the Octagon who give their blood, sweat and tears to entertain the masses. Realizing that the formula was working to fill the coffers of the King with gold, conmen and petty thieves began promoting their own schemes.

One popular technique was to sell fighters a promise of great wealth and celebrity. We�ll call this the Jack and the Beanstalk effect. Fighters bought into this and began signing their lives away in exchange for a handful of beans. Sure, with a certain amount of hard labour and care and nurturing they could potentially grow the seeds of their careers into bigger and better opportunities, but they would be the ones doing all of the work, selling tickets and promoting their fights for little reward. The beans would often yield little more than hope and would often never sprout into anything at all.

The Promoter Who Cried Wolf

These same conmen who began sprouting up around the kingdom and then far away kingdoms began telling everyone who would listen � fighters, fans, managers, the media � that they were the next great ruler of the land and that when they became king they would share the riches they acquired with the people.

Time and time again the events never happened, the popular fighters never signed with them, and they never took over from the true Kings who were ruling the land. Eventually people stopped listening and the promoters fell victim to their own grandiose promises and started believing their own hype. The townspeople stopped listening and forgot about the attention-seeking boys who cried wolf, but the wolves will never forget and will eventually get them.

Little Red Riding Hood

Around the time the fraudsters got involved to make a quick buck, sponsors saw an opportunity to get something for next to nothing by befriending unsuspecting fighters and telling them they should share their picnic baskets with them, instead of their loved ones. Offers from these wolves became less and less attractive � often consisting of product or a nominal financial amount of money. Some saw through the scam and refused to allow it to cost them their dignity and took a stand against the wolves claiming to be friends.

Some companies with honourable intentions � both promotions and sponsors -- saw that there was a problem and employed huntsmen to keep the wolves on the outskirts of town and ensure fighters could take care of their families without being taken advantage of, but unbeknownst to them, they had hired disguised wolves who were out for their own portion of the picnic basket. These well disguised predators would use their positions within the companies they worked for to get their hands in the pie and ensure their own were taken care of, all at the cost of fighters who they were supposed to be helping.

A Cinderella Ending

As with every good story there is a happy ending to this tale. For all of the dishonest and evil stepsisters in the sport who are more interested in lining their own pockets and taking credit for the success of their events at the expense of hardworking fighters, there are some whose primary goal is to give them a night at the ball where they can shine and take what is rightfully theirs. Although they are profitable and are often not given their due props, these honest companies don�t fool themselves into thinking they can take advantage of fighters and expect to survive more than a few years. Instead, they get their athletes to the ball and provide them with the glass slippers to potentially become royalty in this sport filled with jesters.

The pumpkin coach full of glass slippers rolls back into the Shaw Conference Centre in Edmonton on January 17 at MFC 39. Make sure you don�t miss the ball.

@DanaWhite posted:

LMFAO WOW!!!! Fuckin weirdos

# ¿ Oct 25, 2013 07:27

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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slev posted:

Tito is injured and out of the fight.

https://twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/393834994440753152

# ¿ Oct 25, 2013 21:28

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Bellator has announced a press call at 5:30 p.m. ET

GET READY, FELLAS.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2013 21:57

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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TheReverend posted:

Didn't they bring in Lombard without really "legitimizing" Bellator?

They wanted to bring in Alvarez too I'm not sure why Askren gets the rough treatment.

There was a lot of weird posturing by Bjorn once Askren won the Koreshkov fight and made it clear he was done with Bellator, and Dana seems like the kind of guy that would go out of his way not to play into his hand.

I'm sure there are a lot of contributing factors that play into the overall decision to not sign Askren. Be it his widely regarded boring style, money, Bjorn nonsense, and not legitimizing a second tier organization.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 19:06

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Some b-league news!

Ulysses Gomez hospitalized while cutting weight, Cage Warriors 62 headliner off.

Rumor is going around that Horwich landed in Poland looking like a hobo and was detained for 3 hours by the customs officer.

Holly Holm is close to signing with the UFC.

Leonard Garcia fights for a god drat title today.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2013 17:05

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Bean Fried posted:

I'm sorry but this just feels so wrong... what the gently caress sort of card could they possibly put together to justify this?

Are you suggesting that Jon Fitch isn't must see television

# ¿ Dec 7, 2013 00:28

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Whoops, wrong thread!

But hey here's hoping Invicta sticks around just so Kedzie can be gainfully employed

# ¿ Dec 16, 2013 22:10

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

The Rhino has tested positive for a banned substance!

http://mmajunkie.com/2013/12/report-doug-marshall-positive-for-banned-substance-suspended-by-pennsylvania-commission/

Marshall tested positive for an undisclosed banned substance and is suspended for an unknown period of time, the head of Pennsylvania’s athletic commission told the website.

A source familiar with the administrative action today told MMAjunkie that Marshall is suspended until Feb. 7 and must pay a fine, as well as retake a test, though the type of test is unknown.

Edit: huh, who knew the Bellator thread was still a thing. I just assumed it fell into archives

-Atom- fucked around with this message at 06:36 on Dec 17, 2013

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 00:46

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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origami posted:

This is sick, wrong and pretty bad for MMA. Can't wait to watch it!

Oh my goodness.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 18:42

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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thank you for not ranking Sheila Gaff

# ¿ Jan 20, 2014 03:24

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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Yuriy posted:

Seems like a bad idea to run a card fronted by Mike Ricci against that even if it is Rampage/Bellator

Pretty Boy Mike Ricci is Must See TV, and let's not forget about Jorge Gurgel either!

# ¿ Jan 21, 2014 05:06

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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cisneros posted:

What does this mean

about 525lbs of sad

# ¿ Jan 27, 2014 18:30

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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quote:

Bellator's Tito Ortiz cleared by doctor to fight, granted continuance on DUI

the worst doctor

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 02:45

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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Bean Fried posted:

So, I updated my dumb blog with my Strawweight and Bantamweight Top 40s, only now they're all pretty and poo poo with like 120 hyperlinks.

I thought we had a mutual understanding that Sheila Gaff shall not be ranked.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 17:06

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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willie_dee posted:

I've scaled back my posting for this one but if people want I can start talking about JT's up and coming fight on March 1st

Always and forever.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 19:45

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

@MookieAlexander posted:

Miguel Torres won last night against Giovanni Moljo via unanimous decision in the United Combat League main event. Moljo drops to 4-6.

I need to stop getting emotionally invested in fighters because when I saw this tweet it seriously bummed me out.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2014 18:50

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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individual865 posted:

In other news, AXS.tv will be airing a Hip Show special, everyone watch this, Hip Show owns!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSl_k8x3rHs

How is this not the most popular sport on the planet?

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 19:59

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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Ditch posted:

Willie I'm sorry to say that a win there is not getting him into the UFC. Beating someone who is 11-11, after not fighting for 22 months, and being age 35... not a good combination. "Fight didn't count" meme has run its course, but Bob Sapp fights literally don't count, so in real fights he's 2-0-1 in the last 3 years. Not a ringing endorsement.

Are you that confident in this statement after hearing about how Patrick Cummins is co-maining a PPV card after having four fights in the z-leagues while not being particularly active in his own right?

This is MMA homie, it isn't just the outcomes of fights that anything can conceivably happen.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 00:19

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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LobsterMobster posted:

Are we just going to confine the Titan FC talk to this thread or make a GDT for Handsome Mike 'n' the Weedman?

Edit: (I am not offering to make a GDT, at least not anything with effort)

Mike Ricci deserves respect.

Titan FC 27 GDT: So Pretty it Hurts

# ¿ Feb 28, 2014 21:55

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

willie_dee posted:

I've got a bad feeling about this, having an emotional investment in a fighter is not pleasent

I'm really pulling for JT, and from what I've read it seems like this should be a fight James should have sealed tight. Here's hoping he didn't just take a fight without any sort of preparation.

I'm seeing postings of JT getting a real beating to a R3 TKO

-Atom- fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Mar 1, 2014

# ¿ Mar 1, 2014 21:10

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Yay JT!

# ¿ Mar 1, 2014 23:31

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Yuriy posted:

In news that only Atom will give a poo poo about, Ricci gets to fight George Sotiropolous at the next Titan FC

I can't wait for the face-off purely from the contrast of a glistening young hardbody to Old Man Stomach.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2014 03:32

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Ahahahaha, yes!

"Oklahoma's Battlegrounds MMA Revives Eight-Man, One-Night Tournaments posted:

Battlegrounds received permission to run the tournaments�dubbed Battlegrounds: One Night Elimination (O.N.E.)�from the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission after Bryan O'Rourke, managing partner for Battlegrounds, petitioned the commission for changes to the rules.

...

They'll be using a slightly modified version of the Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts. Elbows will be illegal in all fights except for the final. The preliminary tournament fights will also feature three five-minute rounds, with the final going five rounds.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2014 17:13

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

LobsterMobster posted:

Newell is going to fight Gaethje in July for the WSoF belt!!!

That's gonna be rad because both dudes are rad. times in July!

I'm glad Newell is getting a crack at a title of sorts, but my goodness I don't see how he's going to get by Gaethje.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2014 17:33

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Yuriy posted:

Matt Riddle fighting for a belt, I'm filled with joy

Can't wait for Matt Riddle to soundly beat him and immediately pop for weed metabolites.

Keep the tradition alive!

# ¿ Mar 28, 2014 17:21

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

individual865 posted:

B-League Update!

Bellator 118
Atlantic City, New Jersey

Julian Lane vs. Anthony Morrison

Oh my god.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2014 21:53

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

James McSweeny managed to win a fight, everyone!

# ¿ May 2, 2014 16:26

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Jon Fitch vs. Jake Shields set for WSOF 11 co-main event in July

# ¿ May 2, 2014 22:02

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

willie_dee posted:

Promoters only want to talk to JT when they think they can bring him in to lose

How JT can't get signed to Zuffa in this 48 event or whatever a year world is beyond me

# ¿ May 12, 2014 01:44

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

If that weird guy with the face tattoos and piercings isn't on this week's KSW I'm going to be real upset.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 03:39

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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fatherdog posted:

Has someone linked this in here yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4awSmJfuhbU

Maybe, but who cares. That's the kind of stuff that requires a bi-monthly viewing.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 18:47

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

the first few seconds of the Askren fight was such a holy poo poo moment

# ¿ May 30, 2014 16:15

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

see what happens when you read Yuriy's posts?

# ¿ Jun 10, 2014 18:54

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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origami posted:

Relevant fight?

This is a Pro Fitch Zone so watch yourself

# ¿ Jun 13, 2014 05:28

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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1st AD posted:

Have them replace Dan Hardy and that other annoying British guy on Fight Pass cards.

Do you think they're worse than the Anik/Florian team? I feel like Hardy and Gooden are a pretty spectacular together, especially considering how short of a time Hardy has been at it.

Maybe I'm just so accustomed to Gooden from Cage Warriors, which had/has a underrated commentator team.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 20:23

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 20:22

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

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quote:

At the request of Tachi Palace Hotel and Casino This content is not accessable in your area.

Tickets are still available for this event, or a recording will be available for viewing on Sherdog.com shortly.

How dare you, Tachi Palace

# ¿ Jun 20, 2014 02:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > B-League MMA: I think it is a fairly strong child, so I will defeat her without mercy

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