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Not really IT bitching, but... Oh hi, here's a form they need up at <location>. Sure, not a... no. It's not been approved. Is that some draft version? No, <supervisor> emailed it out. OK, they get the last approved version....a few minutes of hunting later... Hey, what's this new form revision? Oh! Don't use that, I recalled the email. Apparently it didn't take. Well, don't use it, it has our old business name and the wrong zipcode...shortly... Oh, what the hell. Our approved form (last modified Oct 2012, rev date Apr 2012) has the wrong information too. And the previous rev... is identical. <migraine salute>Ayup. Not only is our poo poo not right, but the actual paperwork that's mandatory for legal/medical/organisational requirements is just kind of being revised and passed around on the fly. Which wouldn't have been discovered if that one form hadn't come in by hand, with someone who could tell me WTF. (Well, sorta.) Oh, bonus: my own supervisor didn't know where the actual approved-and-used forms directory was located. As best I can tell without randomly spelunking the network drives, whatever share she was looking at isn't accessible by my credentials. Wonder how far downhill this will end up rolling? Oh well, if I do end up under the bus, I'm certain there's lots of room to take other folks with. /me is now browsing remote-controlled DIY robot websites. And chainsaw reviews.
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Oct 3, 2013 19:43
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Sirotan posted:Good news everyone! We no longer have an HR department.
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Oct 9, 2013 17:16
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Oh <supervisor>, I wanted to verify that we're open for Columbus Day; I want to make sure the courier service knows, since I'm off all next week. We're open, it's not on the Outlook calendar.<minutes pass> "Hmm, suddenly there's a whole series of entries popping up in Outlook regarding coverage while I'm out. Totally forgot about it, did we?"Wonder if I should put in my vacation request now for the local WorldCon in 2015...
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Oct 9, 2013 23:15
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GargleBlaster posted:Ey up. Next time you think of blaming the user's cat for a laptop that smells of cat pee, think again: Heh. When I was working at the plastics plant, one of the contracts we had was for bezels for big ol' CRT monitors, for medical instrumentation. And of course the <redacted> Corporation insisted on a specific material to be used. Which produced the most astonishing odor of urine-mixed-with-chlorine. Smelled like the bathroom at a public pool - people sometimes had to be swapped off that job because they were getting nauseated. (And it got worse at the end of the job, when they purged out the leftover material into a messy semi-liquid pile on the floor - three or four pounds of that, steaming hot.) Hmmmm. Just got a
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Oct 30, 2013 17:59
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Paladine_PSoT posted:gently caress trying to make emails look nice on multiple platforms. Feh, that's easy. Text. Plain text. No colors, fonts, pictures, fancy "stationery", gimmicky formatting, nothing but text. (/me is easily pleased.  )Want all that crap? Create a document and attach it, let the recipient save/open it with the proper program. (And maybe scan it first, in case of Cryptolocker_delivery.PDF.exe or something.)
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Nov 12, 2013 01:30
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Agrikk posted:Are you nerds really debating the proper command for a technology that no one has used in twenty years? I'm just surprised that no one has noted that you could get some rather impressive music by way of Or was that just the Amiga crowd doing that?  (Couldn't find the GIF quickly.)
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Nov 13, 2013 23:45
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GargleBlaster posted:DEVICE=MATSHITA.SYS I may grow old, but never up.
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Nov 14, 2013 18:20
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thebigcow posted:The two Toshibas we've had like to give numerical error codes without providing a list of what they mean. It took some searching to find out that 0050 on a fax meant busy signal, everything else meant a line condition problem. Ahhh, so that's what it means. I usually tell people the codes are either "OK" for "OK" and "anything else" for "hosed". (Well, a work-safe equivalent - unlike Medical Records, I don't turn the air blue*.) * Unless I'm certain I'm not being overheard, because that poo poo-eating dog-loving cock-jockey assdribble loving TOSHIBA SHITBOX is acting per usual. (I was spoiled by my time in the plastics plant - not only did the people who would care about foul language rarely come out to the production floor, but those decrepit injection-mold boat anchors really deserved every curse they got, and then some. I don't think I ever saw any hire or temp last a week before going all NC-17 on one.)
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Nov 22, 2013 22:35
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Ahahahah, gently caress, Toshiba strikes again. The magical "automated toner order" service apparently fired up recently, as our Facilities department just received a cyan, a red and another black cart.  This is the second black cart that I was supposed to get from my last order over a month back, I guess. (And the 2 color carts, of course, are yet again "more poo poo I already have in stock and don't need more of". Seriously, we're now 2 years on the original color toners that came with the new machine. And Toshiba *keeps* *sending* *more*.)Anyway, BS'ing with the crew over there, and we notice there's black toner leaking out of the box.  I cut the factory tape, pop the lid open, and......the little sliding tab that prevents toner from leaking out until the cart is loaded? Yeah, connected to the pull-tab strip, and otherwise hanging loose on top of the cart.  QA Crewe Represent  The cart (hell, the box itself) is otherwise undamaged. I'm thinking I just got lucky and got one of the last ones sent out pre-Labor Day weekend or something.
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Nov 23, 2013 01:44
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"YOTJ - the IT equivilent to Goatse, except the hands are spreading open a printer." (That, or "are pouring out a drink".) (gently caress printers.)
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Dec 11, 2013 18:18
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Caged posted:Obviously you should disrespect authority right up to the point where we tell you to do something. "I disrespected your authourity. I also encrypted all the servers, because this is a revolution, and I just took power in a coup d'etat. KNEEL BEFORE IT!" 
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Dec 12, 2013 18:33
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TWBalls posted:
"Hey, Secret Santa gave me an iPad 2!" Except for that stupid label, of course. 
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Dec 14, 2013 00:12
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says it was my director that dropped it off. They were all sitting in his office when we had the meeting. For now, all I've done is upgrade it to iOS 7 and charge it. Haven't had time to do anything else as I've enough tickets to do as it is. So, yeah, I'm definitely going with this option.
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Dave_Indeed posted:STPMO: Ticket Opened Issue: THE INTERNET IS DOWN!!!1! Severity: CRITICAL Ticket Closed Resolution: By the strength of Odin, you will loving die upon my sword.
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Dec 31, 2013 18:30
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Back when I started working here again (after a reduction-in-force hiatus), I was wearing nice button-down shirts and dress slacks/khakis daily, with a bamboo-print shirt for Fridays. Gradually, I started infiltrating other prints, and cargo/Carharts into the lineup. My daily wear now is cargo/Carharts and oversize/untucked loud Hawaiian shirts, and I've corrupted several others into the shirts as well. (The only other one to wear 'em daily was already doing so, and being Hawaiian apparently meant he was given no poo poo about it.) Ties? Nay, gently caress that - no neck, no tie.
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Jan 8, 2014 23:42
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Dick Trauma posted:That's what reams of paper are for. Helpdesk? Yeah, I need someone over here right away, my monitor is out of paper. THIS IS AFFECTING PRODUCTION.
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Jan 9, 2014 20:31
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Inspector_666 posted:Note that I also do not have a Comp Sci, Mathematics or related field degree. And yes, they did misspell analytic in the e-mail. What do you expect from a presiges healthcare company that offers dential? Go for an interview the beginning and Febrary and you might be trainning soon! I'm totally shite at typing and can misspell all day long, but I'm not sending client/applicant-facing documents, either. :twitch: "Spell-check, motherfucker, can you s... why am I even asking?" 
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Jan 10, 2014 23:42
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Lum posted:I altered the job so that it remains duplex throughout and added blank pages to be inserted after every page that was previously marked as simplex. Yuuuuup. The Toshitbox here at work does the same thing, with extra idiocy: if the inbuilt 3-hole punch attachment is down, you can still use 3-hole paper - except! if your document ends on an odd page (front side print, back side blank), then it'll print just fine... on the back side of the page only. Also has the charming habit of folding pages as it exits the finisher, sometimes, and then throwing your job on the floor. (At least, until there's so much folded-up crap in the exit tray that a page jams, and then fuckyou I'm jamming all the way back through the paper path.) We shall not discuss the fact that this special snowflake *cannot* run NCR paper reliably, except for one particular grade/brand. Every other Toshiba in the organization will feed the old stock just fine. And jam up first page trying to run the "special". :gently caress
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Jan 28, 2014 23:39
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n0tqu1tesane posted:Oh you guys and your small network closets are cute. Because it: 1) fell over? 2) caught fire? 3) caught fire then fell over? 4) was affecting production, so they doubled-down?
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Feb 6, 2014 18:51
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Caconym posted:I think the "cheap and quick" ship has
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Mar 18, 2014 00:26
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Sickening posted:Texas (DFW area)
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Mar 18, 2014 17:33
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Agrikk posted:edit: Hah hah hah! He's just put two tags to build 30 VMs into my queue. And there they will stay, my friends. Unanswered and unopened. Lost in time. Like needfuls in the rain.
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Mar 26, 2014 19:30
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Bob Morales posted:"I don't have Todd Johnson's email address, can you send this to him?" Is he in sales? Does he regularly blow C-levels? The_Toddster@awesum.company.com
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Apr 1, 2014 17:31
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Reason for requested time off: code:Every so often I need to bail anywhere from 10-30 minutes early (riding the bus *sucks*), and my supervisor is "whatever". Every time I take off an entire day at a time, it's  "WHO WILL COVER WE NEED VOLUNTEERS EMERGENCY"  .Every time I return from taking a day or more it's  on my end trying to clean up/catch up again.Oh look, I'm out all next week. Luckily, I have alcohol already. And unlike ex-cow-orkers, I'll be doing my drinking at home...
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May 12, 2014 19:07
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Commodore 64 posted:I'm just waiting for Google to come back and say I have to rebuild her unmarried name. And the profile too, probably.
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Jun 10, 2014 22:48
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TheFuzzyLumpkin posted:“If you do not reboot by close of business today, Skip all that "possible bad things happening" and go straight to TREMBLE AND OBEY!
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Aug 27, 2014 17:32
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There's always the option to lock out the supervisor and create the new hires' account on that machine... ..with the default two-week wait for a new one, of course.
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Aug 28, 2014 18:04
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Super Slash posted:Fucks sake, I also created a process for this which nobody cares about; Ours is similar - the MAC (Move, Add or Change) form, which has two very distinct and separate sections to fill out, depending on if it's a new employee or and existing one. Which about 30-40% of the supervisors either fill out using the wrong section, fill out using *both* sections, or some of both. Oh, it also has a BOLD CAPS section instructing the sender to add the name of the employee to the From: line of the email, "Example - SUBJECT: MAC form for Mickey Mouse". We have a whole shitload of Mickey on-staff here. 
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Aug 28, 2014 21:29
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Crowley posted:I went on a HP sponsored trip to CERN, with everything paid and a set of nice luggage thrown in just to show off HP logos. Hewlett-Prostitution 
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Sep 4, 2014 17:25
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Bob Morales posted:I really wish the last thunderstorm we had would have zapped our switches. Netgear loving POS. Web interface is basically unusable in a modern browser and there's no console access Well, prepare for the next storm already. 
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Sep 11, 2014 16:32
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Dick Trauma posted:I just noticed my Sprint rep's signature graphic and it makes the advertising side of me want to choke someone. "Companies such as Cannibal Systems LTD"
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Sep 11, 2014 22:33
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mewse posted:I can't think of a better place to put a pet/toddler than a room specifically set aside for extremely expensive business electronics Well, if you let C-levels in...
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Sep 30, 2014 22:40
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Jesus gently caress Christmas. Late August, I get a fax* regarding a corporate payment agreement, addressed to "Office Manager", from a company we do business with. Looking at it, I can see it's Important poo poo, but can't figure out if it goes to the CEO, CFO, or possibly (as a contract item) to another C-level, and I don't have anyone available to ask that day. (For all I know they all have to stand around it and piss on it together for a consensus; way above my pay-grade.) Not a problem! Send it over to the Executive Assistant in the Admin department, she knows this poo poo! Email away and forget about it... Until today, when that company calls in person to ask about it. I barely remember it (it was out of the ordinary enough) and check my sent mail, and contact said Executive Assistant. "Oh, if it doesn't have a name on it I just delete it as junk mail! Yes, even if it's a contract!" And I *know* she's been getting various generically-addressed items in, both as email and postal mail, for *years*. Wonder if that's what happened to some of the IRC correspondence that has since come back to bite us in the wallet?* Biz is behavioral healthcare, so faxes abound. A couple years back they finally added fax capability to some of the MFCs, so we have fewer individual
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Oct 7, 2014 00:46
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I need a powered-lift desk that will work properly with this chair: Yes, one that lowers and then flips over so I can work from underneath. Never mind the snoring... it's the years of toner exposure.
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Oct 23, 2014 21:21
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Inspector_666 posted:This doesn't mean it requires a reformat, right? I think I have an 840 at home but I don't care enough to reinstall my poo poo. SSDefrag
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Oct 28, 2014 23:08
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Skex posted:Indeed, the ID 10 T error is well documented. The War on ID-10 Terror
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Oct 29, 2014 17:22
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Manslaughter posted:For the past two years I have been serving part of my job as an uncompensated email monkey for another employee. Back when I started there were three of us watching a shared email box and grabbing the incoming issues based on what the ticket was about. Fast forward to today and the activity for this email box has greatly died down. Now there is only one person handling 99% of the issues that come through that email, but for some reason this joker won't add it to his watched inboxes, so I have to forward every email that comes in to his address directly. This wouldn't be so bad, but then instead of writing the client back himself he just replies back with a "tell them this:" message, so that I'm the one that inevitably handles all communication with anyone and ends up getting called or emailed for issues when I haven't worked with the product in a long time. Add "Reply To: <client>" to your email headers. Bonus if you can hide it. Double bonus if you can automate the whole process. Ultra-supreme bonus if you just hit him with a folding chair and tell him to do his own loving job.
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Oct 30, 2014 16:34
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stubblyhead posted:I would have expected him to go the extra mile on that one. Very disappointed. If I'm going that extra mile, I need to be reimbursed for mileage...
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Nov 17, 2014 18:45
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Whatup "finally got that last straw installed" bro When I quit, all of a sudden I stopped having stomach pains every day and such. And afterwards, I ended up stumbling into the job I'd originally been RiF'd from a few years earlier, and where the only reason they didn't just say "yo, start now" was that they had 400+ applicants to weed through. Hope y'all have decent luck, dude. 
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Nov 26, 2014 23:40
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Exit Strategy posted:Today's poo poo that's pissing me off. The sick time here is "your first two days are PTO, sick afterwards" - I think you can provide a doctor's note and get the PTO days swapped back. It's probably to discourage "sickies"... but seeing as how I'm like 200+% over the supposed max PTO accrual, and add another day every two weeks, I don't think it'd stop me.  Of course, the last sick days I've taken were for kidney stones or broken teeth. Somehow I tend to be ridiculously healthy... allergies rather than colds/etc.
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Dec 19, 2014 22:22
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Gounads posted:Then.. what do they do all day long? Not write SQL queries?
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Jan 6, 2015 18:40
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