More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Ironically, I was also up at 4am tonight because my 3yo kid wet the bed.

My contribution is arriving at my mom's to drop off the kids for today only to find her frantically swiping up on her iPhone. Screen had gone dark as if the turned the brightness almost all the way down. I had to google it to find out how to change it back. No idea how she managed it.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2020 16:57

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 02:13

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Thanatosian posted:

Yeah, I really wish Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, and Apple could get together, design "email 2.0," and set a deadline to make it mandatory for everyone interacting with their email services. It would be encrypted and have protections against spammers using it.

Because email is well and truly garbage.

Does anyone remember when Google reinvented email and called it Wave?

It was craptastic.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 14:29

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

That reminds me of https://www.reddit.com/r/spicypillows/

# ¿ Feb 24, 2021 09:32

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Agrikk posted:

This totally happens to me. I don't care how awesome I'm doing at work, I always feel like I'm about to get called on the carpet every time I get a "let's talk" ping from a boss.

Same here. I know I'm going good work and I have a permanent contract, but last week I looked at my phone in the morning and had a missed call from my boss. And he didn't pick up when I called back. Paired with this past loving hell year, your brain starts imagining stuff real quick.

Turns out there was something emergency-broken in our system and I'm usually the first one online for work, so he called me.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2021 07:30

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

So far they're going with 'service configuration problem', so it's... probably DNS?

https://twitter.com/fastly/status/1402221348659814411

# ¿ Jun 8, 2021 14:57

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Last week I pressed the "record call" in a Skype meeting out of curiosity, unaware that it shows to everybody that you clicked it, and that you cannot stop recording the call until frantically clicking it for like 10 seconds while apologizing profusely. :suicide:

# ¿ Aug 12, 2021 06:17

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

It's been 19 months of this stupid pandemic poo poo, and people still complain when you don't turn on your webcam? gently caress, I haven't turned it on since Apri 2020, and then it was just to play a prank on people (I put on some filter that edited a cat on my head). It's useless anyway since I always look at my second screen anyway, and the camera is on the primary one.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2021 09:59

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Honestly, it looks like someone just copy/pasted the keywords from their LinkedIn profile that they automatically put on your profile, based on whatever algorithms they let loose on it. :shrug:

# ¿ Sep 27, 2021 13:31

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Whipstickagostop posted:

"I have a bunch of figures that add up to X, but I want to know which ones to use to make it add up to Y"

To be fair, this does sound like one of the exercises in the Advent of Code Calendar thing. But he could probably do it in 2 minutes by eyeballing it manually.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2021 13:55

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Lum posted:

went full Karen on the bar staff at a craft beer bar because they didn't have Heineken

There's so many things wrong with this, it's amazing. :allears:

# ¿ Oct 14, 2021 17:05

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/1453610771141779458

I... gently caress. This made me have a lot of feelings in a very short time. :smithicide:

# ¿ Oct 30, 2021 06:40

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

ConfusedUs posted:

Y'all laugh, but I'd like to remind you guys that I once worked for a place that kept the servers in a damp storeroom in a basement that had a drain in the center that the owner would piss into because he was too fat and lazy to go upstairs to the bathrooms.

I also remember sirotan talking about a 'spec bucket' if we're regailing old stories. :getin:

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 14:25

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

My Christmas bonus package this year was hiking supplies. A small backpack, a flashlight, two thermos and a booklet. During COVID. And I can't even leave the house because I'm in quarantaine, because my kid tested positive.

My wife got 4 bottles of wine.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2021 07:28

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Thanks Ants posted:

I've come to accept that being able to write an email subject line is a skill that too many people seem to not have. "Update", "Purchasing", "Your Order", "Request" etc. are all poo poo subjects and provide no information at all.

Still, it's marginally better than just finding the last email you were sent by me and replying to that, regardless of what the original message or the new message is about.

I don't remember when or where, but I learned early on that the subject of your email is supposed to summarize the body in one line. A bit like a book chapter title that sets the mood, but doesn't give away every detail.

Reading that back makes it look like I'm stoned, but really it's 2AM and I'm loopy on meds.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 01:50

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Oh my god. I could've used that peace of mind SO MUCH at my previous job. Is it bad that that sounds perfect to me?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2022 11:12

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

I had my yearly review last week and my boss tried shaming me for occasionally stepping away from the computer during WFH to answer the door, pick up my kids from school, leave early for a doctor's appointment etc. (last december was pretty hectic with my youngest catching Covid at school) and I absolutely wouldn't have any of it. These are unexpected events and if they were structural, I'd announce them earlier. Hell, I *did* announce most of these at the start of the day. Just not at the start of the week. :rolleyes:

Didn't apologize, review went well & got the standard 7% raise.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2022 11:23

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

For the past few months, every time I brush some crumbs or hairs off my laptop, I happen to lightly hit the touchpad. Windows kept thinking this meant I needed to switch to another "desktop" and literally every window disappears. There was no clear way what happened or how to reverse it. It was infuriating. It took me a minute or two to get my stuff back, every time.

Only last week I realized it was probably something proprietary in the touchpad software that could be turned off. Sure enough, there was an entire page of gestures with two, three and even four fingers simultaneously that could do any number of bullshit actions. Who the hell uses touchpads like that??

# ¿ Mar 3, 2022 13:56

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

I remember there were ransomware insurance companies who proudly displayed a list of their clients on their website. Ransomware criminals proceeded to target those companies specifically and demand higher ransoms.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2022 14:31

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Erwin posted:

Apparently starting today forums.aws.amazon.com redirects to https://repost.aws/, including Google results for specific threads. Years of information from the forums is just gone. Great April Fools joke Amazon. Fuckin got 'em.

StackOverflow.com had some "great" April Fools joke that made all the text on their website everywhere unreadable. Really great. It took me a minute to calm down and notice a small banner at the bottom of the page to turn it off. I hate April Fools Day.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2022 06:53

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Dimestore Merlin posted:

Hahahaha. I'm a Sr. DBA at work and I used to have a weekly meeting where I'd pull pgbadger reports and sit down with the Engineering Support team and ask them to please go rub the developer's faces in these dogshit queries. I think the worst offender I ever saw was 13 inner joins with 7 of them being our largest tables.

We routinely have queries like that in our e-MD system, because medical stuff is hugely complicated and this system was written by an MD with barely any programming experience in 2004. We've been trying to lift it to current standards but it's a huge uphill battle. It's years upon years of "just change/add this one thing, we'll fix it later". :smith:

# ¿ May 14, 2022 10:10

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Ask him how bitcoin is going when you still can't use it to pay for groceries after 12 years :allears:

# ¿ May 21, 2022 06:13

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

tactlessbastard posted:

I was asked in a job interview today to describe how I would go about bringing back into the office a workforce that is very resistant to ending WFH.

lol

That's easy, just explain to the workforce that their effectiveness, results and concentration are improved by working from the office.

...oh they aren't? That's weird. I mean, that was the reason you wanted people back in the office, right? :smug:

# ¿ May 24, 2022 13:28

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Agrikk posted:

I got a slack from a customer on monday:

That was the whole message. No instance ID, no VPC info, no IP address or account number.

I don’t understand what people expect to happen when they provide zero detail. “Sure thing! Let me just intuit the details with my mind.

https://youtu.be/UPW3iSLPrPg

My toddlers do this. Even if I'm just in the adjacent room with my back turned, they go "hey daddy why does this thing do that?" as if I know what they're taking about.

What I'm saying is that your customers are no smarter than toddlers.

# ¿ May 26, 2022 17:51

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

sixth and maimed posted:

This is the same guy that was very surprised when I told him most companies run Windows servers environments and not mainframes.

My dad was like this. He was very good with computers (and massively overloaded himself at work by also taking on all matters IT despite that not being his job at all) but his knowledge was very outdated in certain parts. As in, based on how things worked in Windows For Workgroups 3.11.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2022 14:42

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

I love being encouraged to take initiative, put forward suggestions for improvements, and slap together a coherent argument for why "change the item order in this list" is not something that's worth an urgent hotfix.

And then being told "do it anyway". :geno:

# ¿ Jul 4, 2022 22:42

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

SlowBloke posted:

EU is likely to finally ratify the maligned DMA act, along with DSA( https://www.europarl.europa.eu/news...ine-environment ).

This also requires *all messaging services* to be interoperable. WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, iMessage, Telegram, Signal... It's hilarious. Either they all dump their encryption (if any) or they give up and shut down. I'm very curious what's going to happen. :allears:

# ¿ Jul 7, 2022 14:52

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

codo27 posted:

You always gotta have that one fuckin user who tries to self diagnose poo poo and tell you how to fix it.

As a developer with semi-technical managers, I know this feeling exactly. :smith:

# ¿ Jul 14, 2022 13:32

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

I've ragemuted exactly once, last year, when I vented some extreme frustration with the Scrum process during the daily stand-up, and the Scrum master just went "ok" and moved to the next person.

I've since then gone back to not giving a poo poo about anything.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2022 09:16

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

What use for an old-as-dirt 486 could a modern office possibly have?

# ¿ Aug 22, 2022 07:42

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

nielsm posted:

Sane people use YYYYMMDD. What are you gonna do if a time traveler from 1981 arrives and is confused about which century the dates fall in?

Hey man, lots of people worked serious overtime on that in late 1999 to make sure the internet didn't break. Don't deny that was absolutely necessary. :mad:

# ¿ Sep 1, 2022 14:27

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Yeah but the real issue is if you write it y/m/d, y-m-d or y.m.d or ymd or

# ¿ Sep 1, 2022 16:47

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

SyNack Sassimov posted:

Hyphens are the only way. (Not to mention you can't do slashes on Windows so that's not cross-platform).

If you're taking about filenames, only a madman would use any type of slash in there, on any platform. That's what underscores are for!

# ¿ Sep 1, 2022 19:09

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Tbh I only use Notepad++ to do global search & replace in multiple files, because I'm too dumb to figure out sed.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2022 13:35

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Since I've been forced to learn Vim at a job in 2009, I've technically never used anything else. I just add a plug-in "vim keybindings" to every IDE that I've used after that.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2022 17:34

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Wait, you can use winget for more than just upgrading programs from the command line?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2022 21:49

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Breetai posted:

"Know enough about" not "Proficient".

"Dear L1 support. Whycome my code take long? Please see below for example."
code:
Select
blah blah blah
inner join (Select blah blah blah inner join
				(Select blah blah blah inner join
						(Select blah blah blah
							WHERE blah is in blah
							WHERE blah is in blah)));

We have a ton of 10+ years-old legacy code in our giant web application that was written by someone not...very proficient at it. When he needed a database query to fetch data from 18 different tables, instead of making 10-15 separate queries, he'd just write one query that joined all the tables together in a gigantic 2-page mess of poorly constructed (and badly performing) sql. It has proven extremely hard to replace this crap with sane stuff since "catching up on technical debt" was only introduced in management's lexicon since January.

:psyduck:

# ¿ Oct 9, 2022 12:26

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

We used to have a manager who was notoriously bad at making user stories. They'd come across a random bug (in their mind, sometimes it wasn't even a bug), and create an absolutely bare-bones ticket that was mostly "thing does x".

We'd always have to chase them down and ask "is x what it SHOULD do, or what it's currently doing? (and if the latter, what SHOULD it be doing?)". I could always spot when a ticket was created by them without looking at the name, and I hated it.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2022 07:45

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

The Iron Rose posted:

Today was also a rough day, where I and a colleague were presenting our CI/CD pipeline to developers and were met with unbridled hostility to the very idea that developers should not be able to deploy to production locally built images from their laptops. A myriad of criticisms made in good and not so good faith, and what amounted to a few “gently caress yous” only barely concealed by technical language. It really bordered on the edge of unprofessional, especially when their manager left halfway through and the engineers stopped hiding their contempt.

but but sometimes gitlab runners sometimes fail (which they never let us know about!) so obviously all CI/CD is worthless as a result. Easily one of the worst and most hostile meetings I’ve been to in my professional life.

Jeez, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I was absolutely delighted when it was announced that we now had a dedicated devops person, and it was no longer my responsibility to push hotfixes to prod, and that I'd no longer have access to the prod databases. I'm always terrified of breaking something important.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2022 08:38

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

That reminds me of back when I did IT support for a university campus of ~500 students. It was pretty calm usually, except when someone plugged in their router backwards every now and then, and inadvertently created a rogue DHCP server that took the network down. Until we scrambled to find the offending outlet and shut it down, then map it back to a dorm number, and have a stern talking-to with the resident.

The only other thing I really did was forward copyright infringement letters to idiots who used public Torrents, instead of the underground student DC++ warez network.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2022 23:51

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 02:13

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

The main thing that tells me my performance evaluations are going well is that they feel more like a friendly chat with my bosses, and less like a cross-examination. :cool:

# ¿ Feb 2, 2023 15:49

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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