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my sister + her youngest daughter:quote:Niece: I love-a Mama.
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Aug 31, 2022 15:07
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My friend's three year old earlier at my daughter's birthday party: "I need a cupcake because my stomach hurts."
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Sep 25, 2022 05:13
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 x
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Sep 27, 2022 15:58
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Sep 27, 2022 19:56
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"Daddy doesn't wike swimming. Daddy doesn't even fit in the bath."
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Sep 29, 2022 19:48
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eating only apples posted:"Daddy doesn't wike swimming. Daddy doesn't even fit in the bath." 
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Sep 29, 2022 20:02
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https://i.imgur.com/WfW8FQI.mp4
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Sep 30, 2022 02:12
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The bottomfeeder should have been the Nazi.
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Sep 30, 2022 15:27
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We had male and female mallard ducks that used to be regulars in our neighborhood. Our then 5-year-old son named them Microwave and Lightbulb
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Oct 2, 2022 04:37
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BigBallChunkyTime posted:We had mallard duck couple that used to be regulars in our neighborhood. Our then 5-year-old son named them Microwave and Lightbulb
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Oct 2, 2022 04:37
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I can't tell if this is a grift or not but goddamn what a cute baby
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Oct 2, 2022 04:44
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HopperUK posted:I can't tell if this is a grift or not but goddamn what a cute baby I gave it some thought and decided I would need to hear WHY the broccoli is frightening.
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Oct 2, 2022 18:10
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BigBallChunkyTime posted:We had male and female mallard ducks that used to be regulars in our neighborhood. Our then 5-year-old son named them Microwave and Lightbulb There was a cat that used to roam around the playground my brother and I frequented as kids. We thoughtfully named it Debbie Diet Diarrhea.
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Oct 2, 2022 18:44
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Not really something he said, but this weekend my 10-year-old autistic kid's godfather came to visit, and we used to do lots of pen & paper roleplaying together before the kid came along. So we thought it might be fun to introduce him to the hobby, see if he likes it. Since it's a game mostly played by talking to each other, it could also be a way to train his free speaking (which he has trouble with). So my wife DMs and whips up an impromptu kid-friendly adventure of three villains (my kid, me, and his godfather) who have to steal a sacred wish-granting marmalade glass from a village festival. Simple rules, three attributes per person, nothing fancy. I roll low on intelligence, high on strength, and decide I'll be the stereotypical dumb muscle guy. Godfather rolls high on intelligence, medium on strength and decides on a thief. Kid rolls medium for both values. He's never played a role-playing game before (computer or pen & paper), has never really been into fantasy. So what does he decide on? "My character is a half-angel-half-demon who can fly and carries two swords." Even so, the game ended up being a lot of fun. And when the festival ended up being threatened by a huge dragon, the half-angel-half-demon managed to snatch the holy marmalade glass and wished for "one million ice cubes" to extinguish the dragon's fire, thus saving the town, so I guess we'll be playing again soon.
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Oct 3, 2022 20:33
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"Cereal is soup." Shower thoughts from a 7yo.
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Oct 8, 2022 13:41
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Oct 8, 2022 14:14
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Dave Syndrome posted:Not really something he said, but this weekend my 10-year-old autistic kid's godfather came to visit, and we used to do lots of pen & paper roleplaying together before the kid came along. So we thought it might be fun to introduce him to the hobby, see if he likes it. Since it's a game mostly played by talking to each other, it could also be a way to train his free speaking (which he has trouble with). A million ice cubes! That's fantastic. I love kid ideas before they get all concerned with 'the thing I like is dorky and uncool'.
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Oct 8, 2022 14:29
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Dave Syndrome posted:And when the festival ended up being threatened by a huge dragon, the half-angel-half-demon managed to snatch the holy marmalade glass and wished for "one million ice cubes" to extinguish the dragon's fire, thus saving the town, so I guess we'll be playing again soon. Based on this story, I can highly recommend more RPGs. For some years now I've run games for kids and teens, including some folks on the autism spectrum, including my youngest player who was ten when he started. Everyone's different, of course, but if your 10-year-old showed that kind of reaction, I guarantee you he will have a good experience going forward, and it will develop a lot of skills, especially if you play with an eye toward that sort of thing. It's also worth noting that Dungeons & Dragons isn't the only RPG out there, so it can be worth looking around to see if there's games that match their preferences better.
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Oct 9, 2022 02:52
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I'm in the jewbook group this was originally posted in, and the 4yo is a total celebrity in it now, there's been more halachic Halloween thoughts shared.
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Nov 13, 2022 06:57
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Last week, driving Diamonds On My Minnow (4) home from Daycare DOMM, after seeing a sign on the road that says Emergencies? Dial 911: "Daddy, what's 911?" Me: "It's a number you can call if you need emergency help, like if someone got hit by a car they'd send an ambulance or if something is on fire they send a firetruck. DOMM, lightbulb going off in his head: "OH! So if a cop is arresting you you can call 911 and they'll help?" I love this child.
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Nov 13, 2022 07:00
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my sister left her phone unattended briefly, and came back to see a vid of her daughter (6) happily singing "if you're happy and you know it poop your pants" ... and now her younger daughter (2? 3?) thinks those are the proper lyrics 
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Nov 17, 2022 15:44
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burial posted:I gave it some thought and decided I would need to hear WHY the broccoli is frightening. My daughter was deeply traumatized by the "do you like broccoli ice cream" song for a while so it's safe to assume it's just generally menacing.
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Nov 17, 2022 16:09
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 (Screenshot against twitter’s inevitable demise)
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Nov 17, 2022 20:37
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"My stomach is broken!" 'How is it broken?" "There's a hole in it!" "...oh, that's your navel."
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Nov 28, 2022 13:46
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If you unscrew the bellybutton with a finger, your butt falls off. That's always a fun time.
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Dec 8, 2022 21:00
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https://twitter.com/geesweetyeeks/status/1601320436855320576?t=MF-OcthiCxZ7PkzriP8L-w&s=19
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Dec 11, 2022 14:33
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3 year old nephew melting down I don't know what I want, but I want for me to know what I want ("jeg ved ikke hvad jeg vil, men jeg vil have at jeg skal vide hvad jeg vil")same, kiddo. same.
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Dec 21, 2022 00:52
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 "Who do you love more, mama or dada?" "Nana"
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Dec 23, 2022 02:51
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https://twitter.com/jjdemonic/status/1621701899895422978?s=46&t=jHaSje_LRuaftQf5yGztRA
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Feb 5, 2023 01:04
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My nephew, who's 15 months old now, knew to "Ho ho ho" when he saw Santa at Christmas 
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Feb 5, 2023 07:32
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sweeperbravo posted:
 "Who do you want to pick you up from school, me or mama?" Son: "Oma and Opa."
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Feb 5, 2023 08:29
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I don't have kids, but have nieces and nephews and love this thread. Apparently when I was in preschool my father had to pick me up for some reason, and showed up in a day cab tractor. I ran out to him yelling "Dirty Dad! Dirty Dad!" Because he was a mechanic and always dirty. The school had to call my mother at work (pre cell phones) to confirm he was really my father and asked for ID. Kid brains work weird.
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Feb 5, 2023 08:42
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a mysterious cloak posted:
Mine as a toddler: Me: Do you love dad? Her: Mum! Me: Do you love mum? Her: B! (What she called nursing) Me: Do you love B? Her: Yeah
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Feb 5, 2023 14:07
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That reminded me that my niece's first word was 'obble obble obble' which is what she called boobs.
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Feb 5, 2023 15:30
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Chin Strap posted:Mine as a toddler: My son uses "B" for all bathroom related things! He stops what he's doing, points, and says authoritively, "BEE" if he: sees a toilet; sees a litter box; sees a cat using a litter box; sees a cat turd elsewhere in the house (sadly common); is getting ready to poop; has pooped; hears you fart and thinks you pooped. My parents were over yesterday and my mom farted near him and he came running into the kitchen yelling "BEE" to tattle on her. i love my son
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Feb 6, 2023 19:51
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Body functions are perennially hilarious 😂 As is making up stories about how to slap invasive Asian carp out of the air while you're riding along in a boat
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Feb 6, 2023 21:29
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presenting my 3 year-old's masterpiece, "a woman falling down to the ground from the stinky wind, but her shoes help her float""
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Feb 11, 2023 08:56
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PERMACAV 50 posted:https://twitter.com/jjdemonic/status/1621701899895422978?s=46&t=jHaSje_LRuaftQf5yGztRA I used this today on my 39 year old wife who claims she had never heard "Why is 6 afraid of 7?" before.
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Feb 11, 2023 09:50
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Rollersnake posted:presenting my 3 year-old's masterpiece, "a woman falling down to the ground from the stinky wind, but her shoes help her float"" This is incredible I love it
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Feb 14, 2023 00:04
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| # ? May 18, 2024 12:39 |
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Rollersnake posted:presenting my 3 year-old's masterpiece, "a woman falling down to the ground from the stinky wind, but her shoes help her float"" Makes Van Gogh look like crap. Id put that in a museum instead of a bunch of swirls and poo poo.
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Feb 14, 2023 00:54
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