PYF shit kids say: Video tape is ghost?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF shit kids say: Video tape is ghost?

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

AlistairCookie posted:

That's lovely of them. Small children are naturally curious and will point out anything different they notice around them. They mean no malice or harm, certainly. It's a teachable moment (albeit an awkward teachable moment), not something to get all pissy about dwarf family from the past!

This past summer, at a local animal attraction, my five year old points out a lady with a prosthetic leg. (It was one of the really awesome ones that has shocks and allows running and such, with a pneumatic knee joint.) He loudly shouts "Hey MOM!!! That lady has a ROBOT LEG!!" I had a split second where I freaked out inside, thinking this is one of those parental moments I do not want to gently caress up. Before I can even open my mouth, she pipes right up and bends down to speak to him. Told him that a long time ago, she was in a car accident and hurt her leg so badly doctors had to remove it and give her this one instead. All with a smile, in the kindest way. He gives her rapt attention. Asked if it hurt (nope, doctors have special medicine to give you when they do something like that). Asked her if she could run and jump (she said she could). He told her that her robot leg was awesome, and he wanted one. I thanked her for her grace and patience, to which she responded with chuckles and dismissive clucking. She said there was nothing to thank her for, and no reason for her to be upset at an innocent kid being a kid. And that her grandkids think it's awesome too.

I'm pretty sure any five year old boy is going to think a robot leg is the coolest thing ever. Your son probably considered cutting off his leg at some point so he could get an awesome replacement.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2014 21:16

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 14:48

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

Retail Slave posted:

My son:

"I wish there was an app that you could hook up to your bladder and it would tell you when your bladder's full." He had to pee at the time.

One day we'll have this, I bet money on it. In the future we'll have cyborgs walking around with implants hooked up wirelessly to their smartphone, and one of the things we'll use it for is checking our piss levels.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2014 01:48

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

Quincyh posted:

When my nephew was about five he was still figuring out how humour works. His best joke: "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a WOLF!" He was most upset when we were confused instead of amused.

A story my sister told me for the first time yesterday: Also when he was around that age, he used to raid drawers and find condoms and turn them into water balloons to throw on people. One day he asked his mom why they're called condoms instead of balloons, so she took the teaching moment and said you put them on when you're going to be with a girl, and decided to show him how on a banana (never too young to learn, I guess is her motto). So she started putting it on the banana, except that the banana was overripe and burst when she was about halfway along. My nephew just started screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" and ran away.

That kid will never, ever want to wrap it. Poor bastard will grow up thinking that condoms make your dick explode.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2016 13:53

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

Keystoned posted:

My wife was offering my son 5 $1 for every good week of school he could string together. He replied "how about one dollar AND 20 cents?"

His sister then says "why 1.20?" To which he replied very seriously "because then I would have even more money!"

If your son got the extra 20% he's a pretty good negotiator, you should encourage him.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 14:54

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

"Frank" doesn't quite mean "honest," but I'll let her have it because she was so proud of herself.

It's close enough that it totally counts.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 15:34

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

slydingdoor posted:

I heard them called knifehits.

Where I am that's called hotknives.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2017 23:01

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

ladron posted:

let's see this Yolanda...

stop creeping on chinese kids

# ¿ Apr 5, 2017 12:26

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

sneakyfrog posted:

maybe not creep on anybody

#alllivesmatter

# ¿ Apr 5, 2017 12:29

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

DemonDarkhorse posted:

my 4 year old nephew, while his parents were trying to decide whether to pizza or chinese for dinner: "let's just order pizza, for christ's sake."

Kid gets it. If you really, really can't decide between two options then there's obviously not much difference between them in terms of how much you'll enjoy it so, gently caress it, just pick one. Flip a coin if you have to.

# ¿ May 8, 2017 10:51

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 14:48

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

Pastry of the Year posted:

I will never stop farting in the library

If they're the silent but deadly kind, I see no reason for the librarian to get mad.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2018 13:26

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