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Apparently when I was 2 or 3 I didn't talk. I had no words, according to my parents I was totally mute. Until one day, I was in my cot at my grandparents place. My grandmother had a moneybox that she would put spare change in, telling me it was my moneybox for a rainy day/grew up. This moneybox was on a shelf across from my cot, and my mother sneaked in one day, thinking I was asleep, and raided the moneybox. It was at this point I stood up and bellowed my first ever words: "Put that back, it's mine!" Scared the hell out of my mother.
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Nov 16, 2013 06:47
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| # ¿ May 4, 2024 01:11 |
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of bees posted:More of what a kid did, but details. I'm surprised a kid ditched art in favour of math. Edit: Or he chose your class at random then when you pulled out the math worksheets he was all "Eh, gently caress it I'm commited now"
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Mar 3, 2015 08:09
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My kids were playing in their room, and they broke this toy train set they have. Nothing serious, easily fixed, but an entire section came right off, looking much worse than it really was. I was alerted to the incident when, I was in the lounge and our youngest (2) ran out and tugged at my knee. "Dad! Dad! Look! Come look! Dad! Look!" I leaned over and asked "What's up bud? What happened?" He put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and with the most serious expression he could muster, just said "Oooh poo poo." We all went shopping last week, and before we'd even set off, our 3 year old had asked if we were getting a "Toy Egg" at the shops. "Toy Eggs" are what he calls Kinder Surprises, which are basically little chocolate eggs with a capsule inside that contains a random toy of some sort. We said we'd think about it. After the shopping was done, he asked again. "I want a toy egg." They had been good kids all day, so we figured a treat would be good, but we wanted to teach proper manners. Please and Thank Yous, etc.. This followed: Son: I want a toy egg. Wife: What do you say? Son: I want a toy egg. Wife: Yes, but what word do you have to say if you want something? Son: I want a toy egg. Wife: What is the word that makes things happen? Son: Money? Kids got a better understanding of economics than some adults.
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Apr 5, 2015 11:29
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Maximum dad level attained yesterday. My eldest, who is 3, is home from daycare because he has a small coldsore, and the daycare won't take him. So I stayed home from work and we hung out. Coming up on lunch time, we're in the kitchen when he says "Dad, I'm hungry." I see my chance, and deliver the bomb. Hi Hungry, I'm dad!" He simultaneously grins really wide while frowning, and goes "Daaaaaaad, I'm not Hungry, I'm hungr.... no, wait... NOOOOOOOOO!!!" It was more than I could ever hope it could be. His mother, when told, accused me of trying to melt his poor little brain. It was hilarious, and totally worth putting up with that poo poo from my father as a kid, just to do it to my kids.
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Apr 28, 2015 00:45
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Soulex posted:Edit: I also had an affinity for making friends who were bigger and tougher than me always for protection because of earlier childhood bullshit. One day I had made friends with some dudes who were apparently gang related. They have me a jawbreaker, a small one, and I bit through it. They were shocked and gave me another to which I did the same thing. My nickname after that was "Slick" and I told my mom that was my gang name. I wasn't allowed to go to that part of the park after that. "And that's the story of how I joined a gang at age 6"
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May 3, 2015 13:27
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Sex Hobbit posted:I only did it for a year and at a less-busy funeral home (I worked probably about 150 funerals total) so I feel like I wouldn't have all that much material. It'd have to be half "[ASK] me about working in a funeral home" and half "[ASK] me about working for insane fundamentalist Baptist homeschooling hoarders" I was semi interested before. Now I'm actually quite interested. For content, my 3 year old a couple of days ago asked me if I had a friend. I said yes, I have a few friends. He then told me that he didn't have millions of friends. He didn't have one friend. Matthew (a kid from his daycare) told him he couldn't be his best friend anymore because he and him mum were going to jail, and they'd never see each other again. Matthew and his mother are not going to jail. The thought of this happening clearly bothered my son enough to come to me and tell me all about it, and make sure I had friends (and I assured him he still had lots of friends aside from Matthew anyway) but he didn't seem overly concerned. This thing is happening. Oh well.
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Jun 12, 2015 12:03
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Mulloy posted:Took my daughter (7) to the amusement park this week. She chose the first ride and began crying and being scared almost immediately after it began, but when it was over calmed down and chose a second which takes you upside down and same thing, as soon as it went inverted she started crying and saying she wanted it to end. Again she calms down and picks a third which brings you up 200 feet, holds you there, then lets you free fall. As soon as we get to the top she looks out over the park and sighs, "This is the worst day of my life." I'm sorry but I'm in tears of laughter trying to imagine this.
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Jun 27, 2015 17:26
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Or eldest, who is 3, has only recently really understood what dreams are. This just happened as my wife was putting the kids to bed: Zach: Mummy, I had another dream. Wife: Oh yes darling? What was it about? Zach: Dinosaurs, and it was scary. I loved it.
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Jun 30, 2015 12:42
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We recently bought some fish. Got a little aquarium with a light in it, 4 little goldfish and set it up on the desk in the kids room. They are 3 and 4 years old, and we're hoping they'll learn some responsibility out of this. Or something. gently caress it, goldfish are cheap as poo poo, the kids have got feeding the cat down pat, why not? Thing is, my 4 year old has named the fish. We have Hunter, Seeander, Dorothy and... Walter. Fuckin' Walter, man. I don't know why, but this kid has named the fish Walter and this fact makes me laugh every time I think of it. I mean when I was his age I had a cat called Bootlaces and later a dog called Hoover. He's got a fish called Walter.
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Oct 6, 2015 14:01
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princecoo posted:we're hoping they'll learn some responsibility out of this.
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Oct 6, 2015 15:19
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Tiggum posted:What's "stockings"? In some places/families the tradition is you put up stocking over the fireplace and Santa brings you little gifts like chocolate/small gifts and sweets kind of stuff. These days, since fireplaces aren't such a big thing, they go at the end of your bed, or somewhere. "Stockings" are the small presents, that come before the "main" presents. They go in the stocking (maybe I should clarify? Stockings are like socks, they go on your feet) and they're the first thing you encounter, gift wise, on Christmas Day. In my family, the tradition was that anything in the Stockings were directly from Santa, all the gifts under the tree were from friends/relatives, because while the stocking stuff was cheap, the "real" presents were from a real person who had put thought and spent a decent amount of money on them, and therefore deserved credit and a thank you. I don't know how other families do it, but with us, stockings generally had chocolates, maybe some colouring books and/or coloured pencils/crayons, underwear, really cheap toys, playing cards, tat sort of stuff. Also it's wort mentioning that our stockings were less "clothing to keep your feet warm" and more "big loving sack".
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Dec 27, 2015 05:19
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Snapchat A Titty posted:Kids misinterpret religious stuff all the time. So do adults. Not something my son said, but something he did. My wife has taken the kids up North for christmas with her parents, and due to a cyclone the weather has been really lovely up there. So most of their fun activities this year have been indoor stuff. They went to this place called "Monkey Business" I think it was, it's basically a big playground/kids entertainment complex indoors. Our youngest loves the ball pit, which is fair enough, but our eldest who is 4 just wanted to dance. I was sent video of him grooving his little heart out on Facebook, and I'll be damned if he isn't really quite good. I have no idea where he learned any of that, (he was pulling hip-hop moves and some terribly cute faux breakdancing stuff) and he has the beat nailed down. Blew me away.
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Dec 31, 2015 09:05
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When I was Three, I couldn't say "Th" sounds, and was quite selfd concious of it. When asked my age, apparently my standard reply was "I'm not two, and I'm not four."
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Mar 18, 2016 17:19
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Reminds me when I went out to a bar with my best mate last year. We're in Australia, so the legal drinking age is 18. We're both pushing 30 and I'm married, and was bummed by how loving stupid everyone was. All these idiot young people being 18 and retarded. Were we ever this loving stupid, back then? Yes, yes we were. Edit: But when we did it it was awesome. 
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Apr 6, 2016 03:21
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Do you teach in China, or is "airport" slang for small boobs somewhere else as well? Wait what? Airport is slang for boobs? Just... why?
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Jun 19, 2016 15:08
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Scene: Grocery store, shopping. Wife: What do you want for dinner? Our 5 year old son: Macaroni cheese. (sideways look) Have you heard of this? Wife: Yes, I can make that. Son: Good. I thought it was funny because of the way he paused and looked at her like "hmm I guess this could be a strange and exotic new foodstuff unknown to mother until now, I had better ensure she is up to the task" Also our boys go to daycare with a kid nasmed Finnegan, but they can't pronounce it so they are always talking about what they and Figgyden did together. It's adoreable.
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Oct 7, 2016 03:58
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| # ¿ May 4, 2024 01:11 |
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I am not a good cook. My wife is an excellent cook. I sometimes make the kids what I call a "Frog In A Puddle" (or sometimes, "Toad In A Hole") which is basically fried toast with a hole cut out of the middle in which an egg is fried. It's easy and the kids love it. Now I have that out of the way, this morning we were getting the boys ready for daycare when this happened: Wife: So what do you want for dinner tonight? Eldest son (5yo): Hmm... I'm thinking.... maybe.... dog in a puddle. Wife: A what? Son: Dog in a puddle. Wife: Do you mean one of dads Frogs In A Puddle? Son: No, a Dog In A Puddle. Wife: What's a dog in a puddle? Son: Swimming.......  Wife: ... I just got dad joked. Made my day.
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Nov 4, 2016 09:08
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