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Working at a grocery store I saw a lot of cute kids coming in with their parents. A year or two ago I had a really short pixie haircut. I was ringing up this lady's order, and her son asked me, 'Are you a girl or a boy?' THANKS KID! Another time this cute-as-a-button little girl got so excited to learn that I had the same name as her mother. "Mommy dere's TWO!" she squeaked, holding up three fingers. Later, her grandmother playfully pushed the cart she was in over to the bagging table so she'd be out of reach of the credit scanner, and she puts her hands on her hips and loudly proclaims, "Um Gramma you forgot something?! Me!" Another little girl wanted to be the one to pay for the groceries, insisting "I do too! I know how!" when her mom insisted she didn't know how the screen worked. She brushed the card against the scanner and scribbled on the screen with the stylus, as she'd doubtless seen her mom do. This one really smart little boy had a whole conversation with me about how he wished the cart he was riding in had a motor, because then it would be like a real car and he would drive it; he was a good driver. Kid couldn't have been more than six.
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Nov 27, 2013 09:08
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Kevyn posted:When my niece was real little, she was in the room while I was watching a Red Sox game, and I was trying to get her excited and into the game. David Ortiz was up to bat and I was telling her that his nickname was "Big Papi" and poo poo, so she stands up and starts cheering "Yay! Gooo Big Puppy!" When I was little there was apparently some guy called Tewkesbury on my hometeam, so whenever mom asked me who was pitching I'd squeak 'TEWKESBEWWY!' all excited that I knew a name from TV.
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Apr 23, 2014 07:17
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Yesterday my 3-year-old cousin came with her dad to have dinner with us. The restaurant gave her a kids' placemat with crayons, and she kept soliciting suggestions from us as to what colors different parts of the picture should be. If we told her a color that didn't match what she was planning to use we'd get a 'Wrong answer!' until we guessed correctly.
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Aug 8, 2014 04:35
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Some lady on Reddit posted this adorable love letter her 4-year-old wrote to a girl in his class: https://gma.yahoo.com/4-olds-love-letter-classmate-pretty-horse-203301283--abc-news-parenting.html Some adorable kid posted:“Will you please come to my house? Let’s play together. I think you are pretty like a horse or a ladybug. I’m not sure which. You should come to my house and eat cheeses with me. I love you and I lost a tooth last night. I think I would like to do a magic trick for you and then let you watch me battle robots."
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Nov 27, 2014 13:42
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The other day I was cleaning the toy aisle in the store I work at and a family wandered through with their little boy, who kept repeatedly telling his mother 'Mommy, I NOT a toy; I real!'
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Dec 23, 2014 02:54
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My little brother couldn't say 'remote control' until he was about five. Maybe six. Before that it always came out as 'kinmote kinfrol'. And 'Knife' was just 'ife'.
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May 13, 2015 03:54
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Little girl came in to my store with her mom and grandma the other day, and immediately had to show me her 'magic rock that sparkles (she pronounced it parkles) in the sun'----and then was quick to inform me that 'it doesn't sparkle in the shade!'
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Aug 24, 2015 07:38
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"It bees poppin'? In my mouth?!?" Six-year-old having the concept of Pop-Rocks explained to him.
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Nov 12, 2015 06:30
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:It's true. I don't have kids and my pets are the blue dog, the spotted dog, the black one, and fatass. They all have real names that are rarely used. Somehow my cousin's cat went from Tigger to Cathead over the years.
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Dec 20, 2015 19:07
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3-4-year-old at work tonight: "When I big I gonna have a real gun.' This was in response to me asking what he drew at the coloring table.
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Dec 30, 2015 00:37
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Do....do you frequently feed your children chlamydia?
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Feb 18, 2016 04:39
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"You're a meatball!" ----three-year-old boy at work today\ "We need ta get my four-year-old shoes!" ----little boy, later in the shift
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Mar 10, 2016 01:09
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Four year old at work today, twirling around and watching her little brother copy her: "This baby does what I do!"
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Apr 26, 2016 04:45
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I had the best little dude at work this morning. As his mom is unloading her cart he proudly announces, "I got a new guy!" Assuming he meant an action figure I asked who it was. "It's Daddy!," he declares happily, then adding, "He's at work." To continue the conversation I asked what his Daddy does at work----kid thinks for a second then says, "He breaks stuff. An' PawPaw fixes it." This makes the mom laugh as well, more so as I'm handing her the receipt and the little guy sighs and shrugs exactly like the  smilie and adds, "I wish I was a submarine. I wish mommy was a submarine."
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Aug 26, 2016 23:42
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So my store got two big coolers full of soft drinks and water a few months back. This morning at work a little 4-year-old brings her bottle of Sprite to the counter, slaps it down and hollers, 'I got a beer!'
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Nov 7, 2016 04:13
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Today my aunt was showing me a video of her almost 2-year-old grandson (my cousin's kid) learning to count with cookies. He could figure out which were 'Mommy's cookies' and 'Daddy's cookies' but when it came to the actual counting he seemingly got stuck on 2. "One, two, two, two, two, two, two..." He also warned them that 'Mommy's coppy (coffee)hot, be careful!'
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Nov 18, 2016 04:57
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Little girl at work tonight: "I'm Scarlet! I kinda shy tho...' Her mother proceeded to silently shake her head that this was not true.
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Dec 15, 2016 06:31
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Little boy at work the other day: "This is new shoes. Also, I'm so cool!"
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Mar 4, 2017 19:41
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Little girl at work tonight, gesturing to the candy sitting at my register and then pointing to me: Dat's yours! Her dad: No babe, that's not hers, she just sells it. LG, shyly: It mine?
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Mar 8, 2017 02:10
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The little boy who lives next door loves to peek through the fence and say hi to my dog (who adores him, but then she adores everyone) and the other day when I saw him I called 'hey buddy!' to him. He giggled to his mom, 'I'm a puppy's buddy!'
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Apr 5, 2017 17:09
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Yesterday at work this little dude came up to my register with his family and put a pile of change on the counter, proudly declaring, "I has the money! I'll buy it!" Later he told me he left all his paper money at home though.
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Apr 12, 2017 14:19
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Earlier a little girl sassily informed me, 'I'm not little; I'm five.'
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Apr 16, 2017 05:42
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As this little dude was leaving with his family tonight, he paused long enough to declare our mannikens, 'Absawootwy hideous!'
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Apr 20, 2017 04:38
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Today at work a four-year old told my coworker and I that he was going to 'destroy' us.
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May 25, 2017 21:09
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Shoozy posted:I didn't understand how instant coffee worked and I guess I never saw her put the mix in the cups so I used to think my mom was magically making the water turn into coffee My uncle had seven-year-old me convinced that fiddling with a certain Christmas tree ornament made the phone ring. Looking back, he must've been watching for when I'd do it and then calling from another line or something----but drat if he didn't have me completely fooled.
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Jun 11, 2017 03:32
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My cousin and his wife took their little boy to a restaurant the other day, and as they're getting ready to leave he suddenly looks at them and declares, 'Cars don't have boobies on 'em, silly goose! They have wheels on 'em!' Indeed little man, indeed.
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Jun 19, 2017 17:47
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A little girl at work today was asking her dad to buy her a bouncy ball out of the machine, because 'I only have one and it's being destroyed!'
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Aug 6, 2017 00:07
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My coworker's grandson loved tomatoes. That was always what he'd ask for at the grocery store. She'd get him a bag of those little cherry tomatoes and he'd happily eat them quiet as a lamb.
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Oct 14, 2017 03:40
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:He was tenacious and charismatic, but took outside input poorly. I would advise against young "Yoyo," as he called himself. So Trump, basically.
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Oct 22, 2017 22:00
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At dinner tonight my cousin told us how her boyfriend's kid called her to say, 'guess what? Snowflake (her cat) is in my closet. He's gonna go to the North Pole and talk to Santa, guess why? He's gonna tell Santa how I ate eleven bites of my yogurt!'
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Nov 30, 2017 05:49
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Per my aunt tonight, evidently she was teaching her grandson about heartbeats and he proclaimed that his heart was full of boobies.
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Mar 1, 2018 04:54
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Was trying to order something for a customer at work the other day, and the device we use kept glitching on me, resulting in several trips back and forth to get it working. When I finally went back to the customer to place his order, his little boy notices I'm back and goes, 'And there you are again!'
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Apr 16, 2018 23:57
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Today a patient's granddaughter came to visit him, and she brought a Get Well balloon for him from the gift shop. She proceeded to tell me all about how the balloon's name was Sassy and she had 'flower makeup' on and liked to dance.
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Jan 19, 2019 01:52
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I'm at a baby shower right now and the cousins and friends' kids are running around in the playroom and out of nowhere one of the kids yelled, 'YOU'VE GOT CAR INSURANCE!'
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Jun 1, 2019 20:56
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One of my old coworkers told us about her four-year-old grandson who liked to tell people what 'the word on the street is'.
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Nov 7, 2020 18:37
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"There are so many small substances!!!!"
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Jul 15, 2022 20:29
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