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I've posted this story in a different thread long ago, but I will tell it here anyway: I was babysitting two little boys (aged 2 and 4) and was serving them dinner. The 2-year-old was in his high chair, and I was leaning over him when he looked up at me, gave a winning smile, and said, "You look like Mommy!" At first I was touched. "Aw," I told him, "that's so sweet." But then it occurred to me that I don't look very much like his mother. "Wait, how do I look like your mommy?" Still beaming, he answered: "You have big tits!" I decided I must have misheard him. I asked him to repeat himself, and he did so - "You have big tits!" I asked for clarification. "I have big...tits?" "YES!" he squealed with delight. "Where did you learn a word like that?" "From [the city we live in]!" That made sense: the kids' parents take them uptown to a lot of ball games and festivals and the like, so he probably overheard some people at one of these events talking about tits and added the word to his vocabulary. I quickly explained that it wasn't a nice word to use, dropped the subject, and told the parents about it when they got home. Problem solved, right? A couple of weeks later, he asked me to marry him. I told him he could ask me again in 20 years.:bigtran:
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Nov 16, 2013 02:13
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 18:14 |
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The four-year-old I babysat liked to make videos of himself. Once, he and I were recording and he was telling me a story he was making up - a story about a lady named Pththya-lyi! She was on a boat at sea, but fell in the water! : (gasp) Did she drown? : YES!
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Jan 9, 2014 01:08
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At church the other day, an Australian member of the congregation convinced one of the pastor's daughters to dress up in a kangaroo suit for Australia Day and her 3-year-old sister FLIPPED OUT. After the service she was bugging her mother for a lolly, so I decided to distract her by asking her to help me "look for the kangaroo." As we looked, the little sister said to nobody in particular "Excuse me have you seen a kangaroo? Her name is [redacted]." (We did find her. After the big sister took off the costume, the little sister started bugging ME for a lolly.)
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Jan 28, 2014 19:45
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Shannonmcn posted:Once she stopped crying she came back and finished her dinner and calmly explained that she was upset because there weren't enough yellow things in the house. The couch and cups and plates could all be yellow and they aren't. My neighbor's daughter once woke her mother in the middle of the night to tell her "No bananas." Kid really hated bananas.
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Feb 19, 2014 07:16
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LoveMeDead posted:Me: Where do you want to go to dinner when we visit? The four-year-old I babysat: "I went to a restaurant with my grandpa yesterday!" "Oh? Was it a fancy restaurant or just a regular one?" "Nope, just regular. It's called the Yacht Club."
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Mar 6, 2014 01:25
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Strudel Man posted:They aren't necessarily misjudging your age. They might just be really dumb. Ignorant, more like. They also tend to assume the reverse, that the technology they take for granted has been around for much longer than it actually has. Like when I was talking to a 7-year-old at my church about his interest in Pokémon:  : You know, they had Pokémon when I was a kid, too. I had Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow. : Did you play them on your DS?: No! I had a Gameboy.: 
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Mar 25, 2014 01:21
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The kid I was babysitting once spilled some water. Uh oh, you knocked over your water glass! No I didn't! The water...pushed it.
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Apr 24, 2014 22:22
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The boyfriend and I went to a housewarming party this weekend and met a little boy with the same first name as the boyfriend. When I found out the boy's name, I pointed to the boyfriend and said "His name's [Name], too!" The little boy smiled, shook his head, and said "No" in a quiet voice.
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Jun 16, 2014 13:20
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Ok Fella posted:I was grocery shopping with my aunt and cousin who was probably 4 or 5 at the time and we're at the checkout line and there's a black guy in front of us. Which leads my cousin to exclaim "Look mommy that man is made out of chocolate!". Dude just kinda shrugged it off. As a child, I used to refer to black people as "chocolate people" and whites as "vanilla people." And I knew several black people at that age, so I have no excuse. Thank God I stopped.
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Jun 22, 2014 08:06
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The other week my parents hosted some relatives at their house, including my cousin's three-year-old daughter. I live far away, so I Skyped with them and got a sense of the person my little cousin is becoming. My parents got the idea to ask her if she knew where I lived and she said "In her house." When asked to elaborate, she pointed at the screen of my dad's laptop and said "In there!" She also showed me her Frozen toys and marveled at Kristoff's size ("He's so big. He's the biggest.")
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Jul 23, 2014 06:00
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AlistairCookie posted:/\/\ When I was about four, I got angry at my nanny (I can't remember why) and "fired" her on the spot. Luckily she was able to laugh about it with my parents.
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Sep 21, 2014 12:11
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I had pre-show jitters before my performance in a community theatre production and I shared them with a kid I babysat. Oh, I hope I do well during this play! I hope that everyone likes my performance. What are you doing in the play? Well, I'm playing a messenger and I have to give a big speech near the end of the play. The speech has some sad news in it! What sad news? I have to tell everyone about how two of the characters are dead. [The play was an adaptation of a Greek tragedy.] Oh. Well...maybe they won't like you because you made them sad!... Thanks for the confidence-booster, kid. (I did fine, by the way.)
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Nov 19, 2014 12:38
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I remembered this just now: When my college history professor's daughter was in kindergarten, he came to her class to tell the kids the story of the Plymouth colony for Thanksgiving. Among other things, he shared William Bradford's anecdote of a "proud and very profane young man" on the crew of the Mayflower who enjoyed cursing and making fun of the Pilgrim passengers. The young sailor would even talk about how much he hoped half the Pilgrims would die so that he could have their belongings! But the sailor himself was the first to sicken and die. Bradford and his fellow Puritans concluded that the sailor's ironic death was a just punishment from God. After my professor finished sharing this and other stories of the colony, he asked the class, "So what did we learn?" A little girl said "I learned that when you curse God, you die."
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Apr 17, 2015 22:35
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I dressed up in a full-body mascot costume yesterday as part of my local library's Children's Book Week. Most of the kids were content to hug or high-five me, but one kid thought it would be fun to do something different. There was an activity where the kids made bean shakers out of empty toilet paper rolls, and the kid took up his shaker, told me "I'm shaving all your fur off!" and put the shaker to my arm while making "bzzt!" noises. As a mascot character, I could not speak to tell him to stop, so I started backing away to try and escape. My attacker was persistent, however: soon I was up against the wall, shielding my enormous fuzzy face from the imaginary razor as the boy pretended to shave large strips off my back and arms. It was great fun. Also a bunch of the kids said "He's just a guy in a costume!" None of them guessed that I was a woman.  Though you can hardly blame them when I looked like this: 
Pththya-lyi has a new favorite as of 19:47 on May 6, 2015 |
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May 6, 2015 19:45
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Sirocco posted:What's feank? Snaek - Snake - Snape
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Aug 27, 2015 23:54
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I got a job at a preschool, so I'm going to get a lot of these: Me: And what do you want to be when you grow up? : A queen!: Queens aren't real!
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Sep 11, 2015 04:00
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AlbieQuirky posted:Dorling Kindersley books are great because they have lots of facts AND pictures. Be careful though, because only some of the DK books are well-researched.
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Nov 8, 2015 19:35
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I just remembered this: apparently when I was a preschooler, I kept asking my parents if I could go to "Egg-pit." I had only just started to figure out how to read and they soon realized that "Egg-pit" was how I interpreted the word "Egypt." Luckily for my parents there was a nearby museum with a bunch of Egyptian antiquities, which saved them an international trip.
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Dec 30, 2015 03:41
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Irsh posted:I grew my hair out for about four years and cut off over a foot a week ago. The first time my three and half year old nephew saw me without long hair, he looked up at me, without a hint of confusion, and just inspected my new appearance. After a brief moment, he just nodded in approval, said "You're a man now." and went back to playing with his dinosaurs. I understand it's fairly common for very young children to believe that you can change gender just by cutting or growing out your hair: men have short hair and women have long hair, so anyone who has short hair must be a man and anyone with long hair must be a woman.
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Jul 16, 2016 01:54
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This is more of a "poo poo parents say," but I just really liked it - Overheard at a store: Little Boy: Why can't I have it [this toy]? Dad: Because you don't have a job.
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Sep 3, 2016 08:33
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"Wait, you know what memes are?"
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Apr 26, 2017 22:07
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Remember when we were talking about the nonsense jokes that young kids like to make up? I got one for ya: "What did the milk say to the lunch tray?" "I don't know, what did the milk say to the lunch tray?" "I'm going to pour all over you!"
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Nov 15, 2017 16:26
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A perspective from a somewhat older child: (very suddenly, as I'm walking by): Do you think there will ever be a Purge? : Umm, no. I think a Purge would create a lot more problems than it would solve.: Aw... I wish there was a Purge.
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Nov 17, 2017 04:41
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Powaqoatse posted:That's a cool kid probably! I haven't seen the movies, but I assume he has realized that the capitalist pigdogs must be disappeared.  The Purge is specifically established as a tool of the ruling elite as a form of bread and circuses/population control. It's a bad thing.
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Nov 17, 2017 23:33
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I once did a fairytale storytime for a group of preschoolers and one kid asked me if the prince and princess died. I had no idea how to answer that. So now I end each story like that with "And they lived happily and well, and as far as I know they are living still."
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Jan 16, 2018 22:39
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I had to supervise a group of kids the other day and they quizzed me on why I don't have children of my own. "So you're all alone?" "No, I have a husband." "Are you married to your husband?"
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Feb 23, 2018 19:52
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I used to babysit a kid who'd draw it out. "Weeeeell....aaactuallyyyyy...."
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Sep 28, 2018 22:28
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Little Girl Stands Up to Villain in Disney Park, Vol. 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjgyPw1_zWU
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Jun 13, 2019 16:57
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same energy
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Dec 24, 2019 06:53
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https://twitter.com/MattBors/status/1224775875284983809?s=20
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Feb 4, 2020 20:34
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Reminds me of this little girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN8rL0TsmSE
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Feb 18, 2020 18:26
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That would be pretty scary, I don't blame him one bit
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Mar 23, 2020 03:30
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I've met at least a couple little boys who really like Elsa, because guess what? Superpowers are rad
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Apr 19, 2020 20:34
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https://twitter.com/chick_in_kiev/status/1254916103064752129?s=20
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Apr 28, 2020 00:34
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https://twitter.com/OfficialMaggieL/status/1285643319989743619?s=20
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Jul 22, 2020 18:19
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https://twitter.com/laurawritesit/status/1288236476266840064?s=20
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Jul 29, 2020 02:19
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A two-year-old has a novel solution to the trolley problem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N_RZJUAQY4
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Nov 30, 2020 08:32
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Jupiter will teach your son The Terrible Secret of Space
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Jan 23, 2021 00:57
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https://twitter.com/A24/status/1365058232734130186?s=20
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Feb 26, 2021 03:29
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 18:14 |
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Well, they are. https://twitter.com/toddedillard/status/1367238365448450051?s=20
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Mar 4, 2021 02:57
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