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I'm a teacher, so naturally, I have a wealth of these. At my old school, a 5th grader said about his pregnant teacher: "That's Mrs. So-and-So. She's pregnant, but it's not my baby." My second grader threw down his headphones and exclaimed WHAT THE gently caress yesterday, much to the delight of my room full of fourth graders. He refuses to call me Ms. Perceptopolis. Instead, I am Silly Woman. He also likes to lie on the floor and say "I'm gonna die now. Call my mom. Tell my mom I love her. I'm gonna die," in a very dramatic fashion, usually in the hallway. When we had a guest speaker at our school, a first grader raised her hand and asked "Are we gonna wrap this up soon? Because I wanna go home and play Assassin's Creed." Not really a quote, but the little girl I babysat had an odd habit. Upon farting, she would promptly stand up, turn around, cup her hands over the area, and proceed to smell her own. She did this every single time from the time she was about three until I moved away for college. I never had the heart to tell her prim and proper English teacher mother.
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Jan 14, 2014 04:42
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Okay, I'm a teacher, I have a billion of these. I taught third grade last year. Paper introductions: Everybody has a birthday if they're born. Do you have a birthday? Well, I do! Have you ever done something that almost killed yourself? Have you ever almost drowned in a pool? Have you ever almost died? I have, by a fleamarket. Have you ever fell off your Tia's truck? Paper Conclusions: So I told my mom if I was a psychic but she said no one was and I was confused but I just flowed with it.
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Dec 31, 2015 06:20
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