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When I was about 6 I went to get a haircut. I told the barber, "I learned that you don't need to be married to have babies! You just need to have flex!"
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Nov 13, 2013 16:35
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detectivemonkey posted:Are there enough ESL goons to make a separate thread? I have a few things that are less poo poo kids say (because they're adults) and more funny/insanely observant things ESL students say. A couple threads like this have gotten goldmined over the years, please make a new one.
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Dec 24, 2013 08:44
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My little nephew just said that Dale from Rescue Rangers is not a chipmunk, he's a dalemunk 
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Dec 24, 2013 17:44
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My grandfather lost his leg in an accident long before I was born. When I heard the story of the amputation, I asked "you didn't let your leg go to waste, right? Did they feed it to wolves?" My mother was horrified but grampa thought it was hilarious.
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Jan 10, 2014 08:45
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Pththya-lyi posted:Ignorant, more like. They also tend to assume the reverse, that the technology they take for granted has been around for much longer than it actually has. Like when I was talking to a 7-year-old at my church about his interest in Pokémon: I have a similar story, only the kid in question was 12.  : What was the first Pokémon game you played? : The first one.: Whoa, you're old! You're like an ancient historian.I'm 20.
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Mar 25, 2014 07:57
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: You know, they had Pokémon when I was a kid, too. I had Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow.
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Nekodoshi posted:I picked her up from her grandma one night, and she asked for rock and roll. Typically she'll jam out to Rammstein with me (I'm aware the lyrics are terrible) The lyrics are German. I remember when I was babysitting some cousins around that age and they were enjoying Rammstein. I freaked out when one of their more obscene songs came on, then I remembered that none of them can understand German anyway. Are you worried that she's going to ask for a translation?
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Apr 24, 2015 07:13
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My 5-year-old nephew is full of these. We were telling scary stories around the campfire and he busted out: "Once upon a time I saw a WITCH, and it was REALLY SCARY. So I ran away, but then I saw a monster that was EVEN SCARIER. The end!" Later, I was looking after him in the water. When he saw a crab, so he got scared and wanted me to carry him to the beach. As soon as I put him down on the sand, he faced the bay and said "I think I'll go for another swim." My sister's friend came over with her kids, and I got played by her 5-year-old daughter. She handed me a half-finished tofu dog saying "All done." I showed her how to put it in the fridge for later, she said she'd be leaving soon. "You might be hungry again, so I'll save it." "It's OK, I ate a lot of food today." "Alright. The food goes in the compost here and the plate goes in the garbage here, see?" Then she rubs her stomach and says "I just remembered that I didn't eat lunch today. Can I have a cookie?" I said no, but I wanted to say "gently caress off, kid."
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Aug 27, 2015 07:06
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They're not using real arrows, right? We weren't allowed to do archery until high school, and someone still managed to shoot himself with an arrow.
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Apr 16, 2016 19:58
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My aunt just recounted this one about my 7-year-old niece: Niece: "There was this really bad guy, Pot Head....." Aunt: "Pot Head??" "You know mom, the guy in Cambodia?" Uncle, struggling not to laugh: "Pol Pot??" "Yeah, that guy...."
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Apr 17, 2016 17:16
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