|
My older sister's children say the oddest poo poo. I was visiting yesterday and my sister always plays the radio while she cleans and what not. Of course, that Miley Cyrus song "Wrecking Ball" comes on. When it got to the chorus that usually goes "OH, YOU WR-E-E-E-E-CK MEEE" my five year old nephew just shouts out "YOU SWA-A-A-A-AGGER JACK ME". She also asked the two year old a question and he very calmly responded "Google it." My niece used to call her vagina a "quarter". Took us a while to realize she meant "cooter". The children also called my boyfriend, Patrick, "Spongebob's friend" for about a year."
|
#
¿
Nov 9, 2013 15:06
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 6, 2024 02:31 |
|
|
Today at work I was ringing up something for this kid and his Dad. As I was doing so, I noticed that the kid had a Google Nexus 7 tablet-the very same kind of tablet that we used to have before my one year old so viciously broke a few weeks ago. (Seriously, Baby T-Rex Arms, you're a demon in Huggies.) I mentioned that it was a great tablet and the kid asked me if I had Minecraft on my tablet before it broke. Nope but I had that Shark Attack game. His eyes just lit right up and we chatted about various things about the game. As he was walking away, he waves good bye to me and he was like "DON'T DOWNLOAD ANY APPS THAT HAVE MALWARE." ...I have no idea as to why that is so frickin' cute but goddamn, I love that kid.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 12, 2014 05:30
|
|
|
This is more of what my kid DOES as he's not quite two and isn't very verbal. He keeps leaving small blocks and toys RIGHT in front of the litter box which is very close to the bathroom. I never notice these drat toys. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom(sans my very much needed glasses) my sleepy brain thinks it's a turd and I get pissed. Every. Time. My twenty two month old is trolling me and doing a very good job of it.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 29, 2015 12:11
|
|
|
My two year old nephew is a friggin' goldmine. For Easter my boyfriend and I had my family over for dinner. After dinner, we were all hanging out and of course, my son started crying. That's all he does. The scene went something like this: Son: "WAAAAAAAAAAH, MAAAAA!" Nephew: *staring at my son* Son: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Nephew: "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!" Yeah, I agree with you there, kid.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2015 03:07
|
|
|
I work in a pharmacy and I don't really deal with a lot of kids...because, yanno. Take your sick kids home. About two days ago I had a lady approach me with a kid who was probably...seven tops. She asked me where we had home drug tests (I know) and eye wash. She then proceeded to inform me that her son had a chia seed stuck in his eye. How does that even happen? Anyway, the kid pretty much..exploded. He threw his M&Ms onto the floor, which he had been clutching against his chest as if it was the only thing keeping him on the ground, and flailed his arms everywhere. Kid: "I DON'T HAVE A SEED STUCK IN MY EYE, MOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Mom: "You do, honey. Let's just get the eye wash from the nice lady." Kid: "BUT I DON'T HAVE A SEED IN MY EEEEEEYEEEEE, WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?!" Mom: "Why are you yelling?" Kid: "AAAAAAAAUGHMOMIDON'THAVEASEEDINMYEYEIWANNAGOHOME."  I can't tell if he was angry or embarrassed or what but he kept on screeching like that the entire time he was in the store. And he left his M&Ms.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 25, 2015 03:40
|
|
|
So, my son likes to watch Sesame Street while he has his before nap time snack. Fine, gives me time to actually drink a cup of coffee and do other mom chores. I was picking up the kitchen a bit when I hear: Murray  : "ARE YOU READY FOR ELMO'S WORLD????!"Son  : "No."He said that with all the seriousness that his two year old body could muster. He was not, in fact, ready for Elmo's World.
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2015 13:33
|
|
|
My two year old son has gotten into the habit of saying "uh-oh" ALL. DAY. Just a constant stream of "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh". Yesterday he was in the backseat with his cousin (five months older and a helluva lot more verbal) and sure enough, my kid spouts off with his mantra when the song on the radio ends. My nephew looks at him and says, very reassuringly "Is okay, Ducky, is okay!" Later, when I was babysitting said nephew my son started crying for some two year old reason. I look at my nephew whose just staring at my kid and I say to him: "Isn't Ducky a crybaby?" Nephew: "I KNOW." *turns away to go play blocks on the other side of the room* ....My family calls my kid "Ducky" because he makes the duck face when he's concentrating super hard.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 10, 2015 22:55
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 6, 2024 02:31 |
|
|
Soulex posted:My son, 2 months, has colic something fierce. For anyone who doesn't know, it's essentially gas pains. So after a bout of grunting and fussing this morning my older son went to investigate the commotion. This little 1 and a half year old is awesome and loves his brother already which is hella cool. Anyways the little one finally farts akin to the sound of a balloon letting the air out of its valve, to which the biggun runs away screaming "WHY!?" One of the only words he knows, but drat if he doesn't do it correctly. My son is the gassiest child I have ever known. It never bothers him, he just farts with the best of them. One of his favorite things to do is bounce like loving Tigger all over the place and I never cease to laugh at him farting every time he lands on the ground. Jumpin' farts!
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2016 05:02
|
|