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Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Basscop posted:

But then she broke up with him and he proclaimed (loosely translated): "Oh calamity!" And went to his room.
A full 20 minutes later he returned with a poem:

Once, life was wonderful
I was happy then.
But everything changed.
I still sing this song
I try, hoping for results
But in vain
It all ends here.

Unironically better than most of the poetry you'd find on deviantart.

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Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



rectal cushion posted:

:confused: people normally don't go shopping naked
:) papa goes shopping naked :colbert:

You should really ask your husband what's up with that.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Dietrich posted:

The other day my wife and I were in the kitchen discussing thanksgiving plans while my daughter played in the basement. I said "We'll have to buy a nice fat turkey." and from the basement I hear my 3 year old daughter shout "FAT IS A BAD WORD DADDY".

Have you been letting her on Tumblr?

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



bringmyfishback posted:

There are a lot. Like, most of the Asia-specific threads in T&T have a majority of ESL teachers as posters, I think.

It really does sound like it would make for an interesting thread. I don't even speak English, but I've always been interested in this sort of thing.

e: should have scrolled down before replying

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



pookel posted:

My 6-year-old is still having issues with potty training (again, autism) and my 8-year-old decided to try to offer him some helpful advice:

Him: You know how you can tell when you need to pee? When your penis gets all STRAIGHT.
Me: Uh, yeah. That happens to boys sometimes.
Him: No, Mommy. It happens ALL THE TIME.

This is the worst advice.

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Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



pookel posted:

Oh, God. Boys and their weiners. My two, at around 8 and 5.5 (younger is autistic and was slow to potty train):

Elder: Hey, I have an idea for how you can tell when you need to pee.
Younger: Oh? How can I tell?
Elder: Because your penis gets all STRAIGHT.
Me: Yes, that's something that happens sometimes when boys need to pee.
Elder: No, Mommy. It happens to me ALL THE TIME.

That would actually make it harder to pee, though. It's not very good advice.

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