|
My four year old names most of his stuffed toys, as usual, but he names them after their colour or things that he likes, thus his new stuffed polar bear 'Whitey Cracker'.
|
#
¿
Nov 15, 2013 22:07
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 3, 2024 19:25 |
|
|
Subjunctive posted:Wife, to 4-yo daughter: "Remember, if you don't cooperate you won't get a cookie." When bribery fails, you know you are boned. My 4yo son to my wife this week: "Mom, this summer when I'm a shark, will you take me to the beach so I won't die?"
|
|
#
¿
Mar 5, 2014 18:52
|
|
|
Sitting and waiting with the my 5yo son at the doctors office the other day. My wife was in for her appointment so we were just playing around keeping him happy and quiet. Now as background to this, my son has very long bangs since he wants hair 'like Rapunzels' so we are just letting him live the dream but his hair gets in his face all the time at meals or whatever. Normally we just brush it out of his face but when we are rough-housing I like to blow it out of his eyes which he finds hilarious. As you can imagine, as we are playing in the waiting room full of people, his hair starts getting in his face, and he loudly says: "Daddy, I want you to blow me!" PIN. DROP.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 21, 2014 18:29
|
|
|
My 5yo son is just full of WTF lately. After splashing water all over the floor while in the tub... Boy: Mommy, do you still love me? Wife: Of course. Boy: Would you love me no matter what? Wife: Yep. Boy: Even if I cut you into pieces? Wife: Uh... I guess so, but I'd rather you didn't. Boy (reassuringly): Don't worry, Mommy. I won't cut you into pieces. *pauses thoughtfully* I don't have anything sharp enough.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 11, 2014 17:35
|
|
|
pookel posted:I made cinnamon toast for my (autistic, highly verbal) 7-year-old the other day - two pieces, as always. He wasn't very hungry and only ate one piece, then gave me a piercing glare and said "Note: I did not say I wanted TWO pieces." I could practically hear the punctuation. Holy poo poo that sounds so much like my (autistic, highly verbal) 9-year-old. I think it was 'P.S. I only needed half the bagel.'
|
|
#
¿
Mar 17, 2015 21:13
|
|
|
Okay what do they all have in common 
|
|
#
¿
Mar 29, 2015 15:14
|
|
|
alpha_destroy posted:
You broke my brain there for a moment...
|
|
#
¿
Mar 29, 2015 17:18
|
|
|
Putting my 5 year old to bed last night, and he's playing with his cars. Now this kid *loves* cars, and probably has a few hundred hot wheels we've collected over the years. I've been shopping for a second car and he will usually grab a hot wheel and ask me if this is the kind of car we are going to get. Tonight he grabs a Bentley and asks if this is kind of car we are getting. I explained, no, that kind of car is *very* expensive and only very rich people can buy one. He gets really close to me and says: "Daddy, do you know what else you need to be very rich to buy?" "No, buddy. What?" He leans in even closer, and with the most deadpan, earnest expression, he says, "Rich chocolate cake."
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2015 16:46
|
|
|
Brightman posted:Kudos to you if you kept a straight face after that, I would've died laughing. No, I completely loving lost it.
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2015 03:37
|
|
|
Half asleep kids are best kids. My son was calling us in the middle of the night which is not a common thing anymore so we were concerned he was going to be sick or something. Anyhow my wife and I go in and ask what's up. He groggily answers in the most absolutely indignant voice: "My covers are being completely unreasonable and there are, like, ten guys trying to hold them down!'"
|
|
#
¿
Oct 18, 2015 03:02
|
|
|
I sent my six year old boy off to get his PJs on before storytime. He comes into my room a few minutes later, bareass naked, and said that he's scared because he was imagining an invisible witch that gives you a shot that stops your heart from beating. While my first reaction was to tell him that of course it's not real and not to be silly... on further review that's pretty f*cked up  On the plus side after we settled him down and ready stories he hugged me and said, "Dad, you are in my heart." 
TKIY has a new favorite as of 03:22 on Dec 2, 2015 |
|
#
¿
Dec 2, 2015 03:19
|
|
|
Had the dogs at the vet yesterday and my 6yo son didn't want to go into the exam room with them, so my wife took them and I stayed with him in the waiting room. Needless to say he needs to go say hello to every animal that comes in, no big deal as he knows to ask permission before touching any pets, etc... This leads to him chatting up this nice older lady about his dogs and they start having a conversation. Him: "We have two dogs, and they are both rescues from up north and we don't know what kind they are." Her: "My dog is a yellow lab cross, and her name is Ophelia." Him, reaching down to pat her: "Hi Ophelia. I know the 'F' word!" WHAT THE CHRIST, KID?!
|
|
#
¿
Mar 9, 2016 21:58
|
|
|
How many other spectrum patents are on here anyhow? My 10yo is getting preteen on us and suddenly she's not so cute with the things she's saying. She told my wife to shut up for the first time ever last week. Fun!
|
|
#
¿
Apr 16, 2016 20:28
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 3, 2024 19:25 |
|
|
I was playing hockey with my 8yr old (as any good Canadian Father should) and he made up a joke: 8: What do hockey players like about magicians? Me: I don't know... 8: Hat tricks!
|
|
#
¿
Dec 15, 2017 20:45
|
|