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Beachcomber posted:For whatever reason my 2.5 year old nephew out of nowhere requested a seagull toy. He remained fixated on the idea for literally months, asking multiple times daily. Such a thing does not exist. Etsy has a bunch! e: I was letting them watch a music video as a reward, got pulled away to deal with another class, and came back to see it had gone on to Katy Perry's "Roar," in which she wears fine jungle couture. ME: "Should I wear that to school tomorrow?" G3: *disapprovingly* "Miss FleTAAaaaa, you gonna be seeeeexxxxy." Today, G3 told me that when I move his desk, he wants to sit next to "ZERO girls, not anybody, not anybody who is a girl, not never, no." So now I know what to do when he's being bad. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 08:59 on Jun 7, 2019 |
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Jun 7, 2019 08:30
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omg I'm so happy to be home sick today so I can read this e: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I love this!!!! ee: I always mispronounce "shou ga nai", too, little ginger kid. 
Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 15:24 on Jun 12, 2019 |
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Jun 12, 2019 15:22
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This is legit the best thing.
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Jun 12, 2019 15:46
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T-sensei's internal monologue is me alll day everyday. It is damned rare to see a male kindy teacher in Japan; I do wonder about him. Yesterday, G4 (special needs) really got worked up because he had a viola recital and his mom ACTUALLY CAME OMG so he was losing it. He conspired with A1 to double-smack my rear end in front of his mom . Did I die? Nine times. Did she turn around and immediately smack him in the rear end while yelling, "DO YOU LIKE? YOU NO LIKE! MS. FLETA NO LIKE!!!?" she did! Did I laugh so hard at G4's shame that I ran and hid? Yup.
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Jun 15, 2019 17:16
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My coworker, whose son is in first grade, came to me cry-laughing this morning. Her son, R, was very concerned about my health and wardrobe. R: "Ms. Fleta got sick last week and didn't come to school." R-MOM: "Yes, I know." R: "I think it's because she doesn't wear underwear. She must be really cold all the time." R-MOM: "What?!" R: "She said she doesn't like to wear pants. I think it's okay, but she should wear them in the winter." And that is how R learned that his British mom speaks a different version of English than myself.
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Jun 18, 2019 16:37
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G3: (singing) "A compuuuuuter...is taking my things! A compuuuuuter...he taking the things! A compuuuuter....is eating my things!" (not singing) "Oh, computer, you stop eat** now. You are so fat. You a fat, bad computer." *pause* "Ms. Fleta! He not finish the lunch! He not can go outside!" *smacks computer with its "lunch," AKA a ruler* **To be fair, he could have been saying "stop it" but I'm not always sure. He's the smartest kid in the class, but definitely has the worst English pronunciation.
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Jun 19, 2019 10:19
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G4 is mad at me. He finds it difficult to stay mad at me for very long. G4: "You is a stupid."  ME: "Please respect my heart." *crosses hands over heart* G4: *growl* "Okay. You GRANDMA is stupid." ME: "My grandma is dead." G4: "Oh." *thinks* "Okay. You is stupid. But is broma." ME: "That's not a nice joke." G4: *screams* "OOOOOKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" *kisses me on the cheek* "Now you good." Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm gonna miss them a lot. 
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Jun 20, 2019 14:49
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Beachcomber posted:What does broma mean? Joke. As in, "Ms. Fleta, okay, I hit him! but it was a broma!!!" Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 00:40 on Jun 21, 2019 |
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Jun 21, 2019 00:34
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drat, y'all need to teach rich people's kids. I cleaned UP today. Ruby and pearl bracelet, a plethora of Rituals shower sets, and three robots made of recycling bin garbage. Guess which gifts I like the most?
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Jun 21, 2019 21:41
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HenryEx posted:The ones you made for them I actually found little "archaeology" toys at Tiger. You chip away at a softish "dirt" matrix and extract a dinosaur skeleton toy. That, some bubbles, washi tape, and a card. (Except for G4; he got plastic vampire teeth instead of tape.) I also bought them some Calippo
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Jun 21, 2019 22:53
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One of my fifth-graders in Korea once wore a shirt emblazoned with I NEED A PRINCE IN THE STREETS AND A BEAST IN THE SHEETS. Um. Her classmate had one that said WHO THE gently caress ARE THE ROLLING STONES? but at least that's accurate; he did not know. Best one was a TEACHER at that school- with great English!- who bought and wore a denim jacket depicting the Virgin Mary surrounded by the words gently caress THIS WORLD. Not appropriate for primary school, but an apt enough thing for that character to say, given her situation. I would do anything for that jacket, by the way.
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Aug 5, 2019 17:42
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Cardiovorax posted:Well, they currently are working on a Star Wars musical, last I heard, so that may yet become a reality. Again??!?! Nobody liked the first one!
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Mar 18, 2020 11:04
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Cardiovorax posted:Why the surprise? That's what people said after the second trilogy, but they haven't let that stop them from making yet another one either. WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE SECOND TRILOGY. (Thanks! I no longer teach; suck half into curriculum design and into half writing a video game, so sadly not much to contribute. I DID find a bunch of comic strips my kids in Korea made, which I've dragged around the planet for a couple years now- might take advantage of this lockdown bullshit and post those.)
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Mar 18, 2020 12:35
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burial posted:Those are my favourites. My brother and I can still recall a few nonsensical ‘songs’ from our own childhood - most notably “mud mountain, tuxedo fountain” (no idea) and “centrifugal force: don’t you know what it means? please help me now.” My cousin and I made up insane songs all the time. There was one called "Shish kabob a bob bob" that is STILL guaranteed to drive my uncle batshit if you mention it, probably because the only lyrics were "shish kabob a bob bob" and "yora gora stink blink" and then we'd forget the third verse and just make up something stupid (yes, even compared to "yora gora stink blink.") There was also the Holy trio of Obscene Kit-Kat parodies: Champion poo poo Bitch and Whore gently caress Bar "gently caress Bar" doesn't really scan, but it comes third due to the incredible transgression of the word "gently caress"! If you're not sure how the song goes, sing the Kit-Kat jingle and replace the word "Kit-Kat" with one of the stupid phrases above. Also, we heard some song on the radio once and for some reason we were CONVINCED that the lyrics were "Oh, Carolina, ga booby boom box bras!" and my cousin tried to convince me boom box bras were real. I believed her because she lived in glamorous Queens and I lived in a haystack.
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Apr 13, 2020 16:37
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burial posted:If only melody could be explained in text. I really think that “shish kabob” number could go places. Just imagine a slightly more ponderous and simplistic version of the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song? Not the tune, but the general...gravitas.
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Apr 13, 2020 23:11
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Look, kids hear much more damaging poo poo than this. Easy script: "Remember when grandpa did XXX the other day? He used the word XXX. It's not a nice word, but sometimes older people use it, because people used different words when they were young. That's why it's okay for Grandpa to say XXX, but I really hope you never say it, because you could hurt someone's feelings." No, they might not remember, but the opportunity will come up again. Honestly, the less you react to the word, the less the kid will notice.
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Apr 20, 2020 00:12
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eating only apples posted:Yeah this is good advice! I don't feel comfortable telling relative strangers to cut family ties based on a single secondhand incident, and that discussion is not on topic for the thread. But that's just me!
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Apr 20, 2020 06:17
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In order to end this derail, I offer Korean Calvin and Hobbes, vintage goodness from 2014: Korean Kid Komix
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Apr 20, 2020 19:27
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Cardiovorax posted:Kim Jung Eun is unkind indeed. That's my favorite one!
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Apr 20, 2020 20:25
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Goober Peas posted:Butts are funny. Just sayin' Both of these are the only true things I have read today! InediblePenguin posted:yoooooooooo this blew my fuckin mind because the phrase "yora gora stink blink" was fuckin familiar to me and i am Not your cousin I gasped out loud in real life because you are absolutely right. I have a mental image of the illustration, too! Goofus 4 lyfe Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 16:01 on Apr 30, 2020 |
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Apr 30, 2020 15:59
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I always thought the same as a kid, too, but I was grateful because I have always disliked cake. At birthday parties, I would swap my cake for other kids' unwanted frosting (no, I do not appear to have developed diabetes yet)
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May 1, 2020 12:30
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I always just asked for an ice cream cake.
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May 16, 2020 15:04
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Pastry of the Year posted:https://twitter.com/KidsWriteJokes/status/1271126038710542336?s=20 lmaooooo too true!
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Jun 12, 2020 07:53
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Hopes Fall posted:'Can we go on the playground ?' My friend at my old school had one kid inform everyone that it's "Roma virus" because it came to Spain from Italy.
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Jun 19, 2020 15:38
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WANT BEEF STEW???
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Jul 13, 2020 08:28
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Beachcomber posted:
First of all, Titus Andromedon sang a whole song about how teeth are outside bones, so just WHO are YOU to say? Second of all, the best part about teeth is that the tooth sockets are called GOMPHOSES. Third, you're completely correct, but they're still part of the skeleton, so maybe they're boners. Fourth, I googled "are teeth bones" just to be sure (I have an Msc in osteoarchaeology so I'm allowed to Google obvious questions about bones) and the autocomplete was "Are teeth bones or cartilage?" CARTILAGE. I'm going back to bed.
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Aug 8, 2020 07:41
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they're not bones.
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Beachcomber posted:My 3yo niece: I bet I know! She was excited to go swimming but someone pooped in the pool and they had to clean it. I took swimming lessons all through elementary school and this happened at least once a month.
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Jan 29, 2021 18:17
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Knock knock
Who's there?