Ladies Chatting Thread: buncha stank witches in here *waves broom in front of face*

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Ladies Chatting Thread: buncha stank witches in here *waves broom in front of face*

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Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Pick posted:

Men don't have to worry about their bras showing due to flimsy fabric, usually.

why would you worry about that, that's the hottest thing, seriously

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 03:36

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 12:12

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Crow Jane posted:

The thing is, girls dress up for other girls more than for guys. And girls are critical beyotches who don't appreciate sloppiness.

i know that this is absolutely true. if it weren't, high heels would not exist. all guys either don't give a poo poo about them or they're like me and think they're downright unattractive.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 03:40

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Crow Jane posted:

Heels are actually a lot more comfortable for me than flats, no lie.

congrats on your deformed mutant feet!

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 03:46

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

as a guy, i do wonder if ladies just aren't able to realize that they do have the power to, when another member of the same sex says their clothes are "bad" in some way, just punch them in the face? because this is something all guys are aware of. if you don't like my clothing style, you can go to the dentist to have your missing teeth replaced with gold ones. a quick perusal of the magazines at my grocery store checkout aisle leads me to believe girls don't realize this yet.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 03:50

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Espy posted:

Some guy I know only seems to wear a t shirt with a pro-gaming logo on it with gym shorts and sandals, you should shame that guy since I can only nag him so much to wear real people clothes

i'm just wishing girls would wake up and start crushing the fashion industry themselves. a few times when i was at home, my mom (who has been a tv addict since before i was born) was watching some horrific model/fashion show and i almost immediately noticed that all the judges were either ultra-femmy gay guys who had absolutely no idea what was and was not attractive or sinister-looking old women who were obviously bitter and taking it all out on all young women. it's both sad and pathetic, but women seem to be really eager to buy into it, and that is also pathetic.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 03:56

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Crow Jane posted:

Maybe because clothes are fun? Gild that lily.

Fuckin' women, man...

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 03:58

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Pick posted:

Guyliner rocks, and when they get their brows done

What is "done"? Cause sometimes my eyebrows bother me a lot and I pull out lots of hairs from them until they stop bothering me. Would that qualify as done?

Espy posted:

I enjoy fashion and looking nice is a thing everyone (woman or man) can enjoy, but I also choose on some days to just wear a shirt and jeans because I am a college student. Make-up is a far bigger issue if you want something beauty culture to crush, and even then men should wear make-up too since you can use it to make yourself look more masculine if you know what you're doing. Guyliner

You might get judged harder if you dress like a dude but eh thanks patriarchy!!!

I'll go ahead and show all my cards: i'm turned on most by tomboys. i don't care if your athletic or not, if you act all tomboyish, i can't take my eyes off you.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:11

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

what kind of stuff do girls like to buy for their TF2 characters?

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:13

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Cuckoo posted:

I'm a woman and feel the same. Something about femmy boys and/or tomboyish girls

so are you lesbian or just flexible?

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:14

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

dogsupremacy posted:

oh and should I wax my hairy arms and legs???

like a week ago i tried nairing my super-hairy legs. i followed the instructions exactingly and left it on for some extended time just to be sure. it was and continues to be a disaster.

just leave the hair. it's so not worth it.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:18

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Cuckoo posted:

(as in, not a giant ball of hair on his belly)

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:18

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Noblesse Obliged posted:

wait a drat minute. how did this go from the ladies thread to the fix men thread.

so...as a lady, whats the best way to sleep naked without oozing everywhere like the goblin from that stupid ernest Halloween movie where he gives here a kiss and goes ehewewwewewew

why would you not want to ooze, especially if you've got a guy in the same bed :pervert:

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:23

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

vaginas are pretty scary, but the payoff seems to make up for it (excluding the pregnancy thing)

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:25

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

jidohanbaiki posted:

And I like to compare the pain of cramps to sliding a cheese grater against your uterus.

how did humanity even make it to the point where we could have chemical pain killers for period stuff. tens of thousands of years without it. christ.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:27

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

is it easy or not to teach yourself how to squirt during orgasm? i heard a female scientist taught herself how to do it as part of an experiment that was intended to prove any girl could.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:32

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Espy posted:

Also realtalk if you want to scare men away just start talking about woman pain

this is completely true, it makes my super uncomfortable just to read about, and i'm a lot more open about stuff then most men.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:33

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

dogsupremacy posted:

Hmm gonna have a pro wax my balls im to scared. Also if your trying to chase out all the men its not gonna work it taste a little salty and is nbd

balls and rear end are two places you really don't even need to wax, they're super easy to keep shaved. i mean, yeah, shaving all points on your balls is a little bit of effort, but it's not a big deal. the fact that my hair growth rate is like super-human and it's manageable is proof enough.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:35

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Espy posted:

men sexualize everything women do, this isn't a surprise

absolutely. anything your mom/teacher told you about horny little boys was vastly underrated - they had NO idea.

Motherfucker posted:

It's because as little boys we all used to suck each other off ferociously at sleepovers.

i never got to have one of those sleepovers

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:41

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Motherfucker posted:

realtalk do chicks have good friends? Do chicks experience bromance?

all females are bisexual. this is indisputable scientific fact.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:43

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

so anyway, where the gently caress is the clitoris? geez!!!!

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:46

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

question: what pounding rate do girls mostly like, like regardless of dick size?

can you give it in pounds per minute so i can relate it to automatic weapon rates?

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:49

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Pick posted:

AH gently caress that's the worst

i think i did that the first time i was with a girl

she made sounds like she liked it so... iuhno

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:51

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Cuckoo posted:

Oh it's also fun when they try to jam in fingers and just kind of wiggle them around like a parasite

hey man, i learned from the videos how to stroke the poo poo out of the G spot. i know it now. just fuckin' try me.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:53

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Espy posted:

i feel sorry for legit straight women

again, science says there's no such thing. only fakers.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:56

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Espy posted:

it says the same about men too

i know... would put a winkey eye here at this point but i'm so sad i never got to be part of the guy side of it

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 04:57

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

at least girls admit they're confusing as poo poo, not just to guys but to their own selves.

thank god for tomboys.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:03

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Noblesse Obliged posted:

come on. as a lady im not that complicated.

now lets go smash clams

you like double-sided dildos in the rear end? :clint:

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:06

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

OMGVBFLOL posted:

dressed as nazi's what

he probably meant to say as Nazi's slaves. those grey death-camp gowns were pretty horrifying.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:08

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Motherfucker posted:

A nazi's pet jew about to be turned into a lampshade.

dohohoho history is fun.

durrrr it was Ed Gein that made the lampshades from womens' skin. he was all-american.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:09

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Pick posted:

hottest woman on TV is still Lucy Liu

Ellen Page

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:15

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

if you're a girl who's smashed, tell us what you're smashed on. i'm actually really curious. i always hear girls like tequila (gross) and flavored rum. with this questionnaire i aim to prove the ridiculous stereotypes wrong. girls like all kind of liquor, it just depends on where they grew up.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:25

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Angela Christine posted:

no big deal it's just blood . . . and . . . lumps? Lumps? Sometimes there was like a blood clot the size of a kidney bean in there. Why? After a while I realized it was just that if you leave blood sitting in a little cup for up to 12 hours, it starts to clot and everything was fine.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ducking the gently caress out of this thread

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:27

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

OiledUpFatMan posted:

now HE was a man with a pure vision. MS could do with a dude like him in the CEO throne.
Or better yet a womyn with similar tastes.

Yo here is an Ed Gein fun fact. The dude probably killed his brother too but was never charged for it. His bro Henry died while both of them were burning vegetation to clear out new farmland. The fire went out of control and as Ed claims they lost each other in the smoke when the fire department arrived. After Ed called the cops to help find his brother the authorities found Henry found face down and unburned with bruises on his head. No autopsy was preformed because the cops were pretty much lazy-as-gently caress hicks and didnt want to do work. It was never really investigated.

Some seasons pass and behold a naked, gutted, headless women is found suspended upside down in his loving barn. Not to mention all of the other poo poo he had in that house of his. Way to go pigs.

Yeah well in that case, listen to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNFglDcW7dQ

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:39

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

literally me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX3k_QDnzHE

(i'm the kid with the really big aura)

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 05:55

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

uhhhhh jesus i'm sorry. i really was crazy drunk when i posted all that stuff.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 06:02

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

edit: 0

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 06:06

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

Obligatory Toast posted:

vaginas aren't for the weak

they are for the strong. those willing to tough it out.

at least, here in the afterscape!!!

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 06:08

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

I'm classier than usual tonight and am going with the Tanqueray and tonic. Normally it's really cheap wine.

let us get absolutely wasted out of our loving minds together :]

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 06:20

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrv0F-WTio4

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 06:21

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 12:12

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

nuts_rice posted:

Today I shaved my arms.
I am the most lady like on the forum.

arm hair is fine on a girl. look at ariel rebel, she bares it all with plenty of arm hair and we jack off to her body all the same.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2013 09:22

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Ladies Chatting Thread: buncha stank witches in here *waves broom in front of face*

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