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Y'know, Hollywood is just terrible. What with their drinking, their drugs, and their dramatized yet fake sex. Oh, and the dancing, don't forget about the dancing. But we like to see movies, those funny moving pictures can be entertaining and can distract the kiddos for hours on end. So how can we avoid the problems of reality and isolate our families in a environment that is free of liberals and those homosexual folks. Well, some folks have seen the But a small overview of Christian studios and movies might be a good start: Cloud Ten Productions The makers of the Tribulation Series of films and the ones responsible for bringing Left Behind to the big screen. Tribulation Quadology  The Tribulation films are actually more surreal than the Left Behind Series, which is rather amazing if you are familiar with the latter. They introduce the idea that everyone receives the Mark of the Beast through virtual reality goggles and that once you have mastery over it, you can gain psychic powers. Oh, and if you are killed in the There are 4 movies in all, with some indication that a 5th one is on its way. Which is a scary thought, considering that the last movie was released direct to video in 2001. You may also notice that there are a lot of C-list actors. Two examples are Gary Busey and Mr. T. This tends to be a rather common phenomenon, to show legitimacy for the Christian film industry. Rather than the reality that these actors have to pay the bills too. A gig is a gig after all. Left Behind   Ahhh...Left Behind: The Movie. The book series has been dissected to the bone by the Slacktivist (He's up to the third book) if you want to get a clearer picture of the series. But it can be summed up as evangelical fanfiction of the end times. They focus on two people, a pilot and a journalist as among those that So far, the first two books have been made into films, but has been rebooted, because the first two films are simply terrible enough to warrant it I guess. Now, you may notice that Kirk Cameron is among the actors, so you may assume that he is in it for the money. Which is partially true. But he has been an evangelical since the early days, and has been involved in a series called "The Way of the Master" with Ken Comfort as they talk about the best way to anally inset a banana. Or how the banana is proof that God created everything. I forget which. The way they talk about it, you would think it is the former. Big Idea Entertainment They make kids stuff. For kids. Veggietales  The people responsible for bringing Veggietales into the world. Veggietales is, broken down to its base components, a kid oriented show that has elements of Jesus rather than fart humor. They have little variations on Bible stories, even more so than the gory stories themselves, usually involving some sort of moral, like forgiveness or humility. Here is the thing. I hear people who are not fundies go on and on how good the writing is. I don't see it personally, but in terms of Christian oriented media...it isn't bad the way that Left Behind is. Which even a student film can accomplish. But still, it won't melt your brain with contradictions and terrible everything. Which is rather amazing. So this show, while mediocre, is among the highest of the high of Christian media. Bibleman  "What the hell you are talking about, Veggietales is terrible," you may say. And I'll give you that. But the reason why it is not horrible slop is because there is worse out there. That is Bibleman exists, and thus Veggietales can never be truly horrible. This is released by a different company than Veggietales, which is Take the lines about the armor of God, in Ephesians 6, and then take it literally. Add a little bit of Batman. Remove everything that made Batman good. and you get Bibleman. It feels like they wanted to take the campiness of Adam West Batman and make it Bible oriented. But well, the villain's goal is to make kids misbehave in every episode. Which is the max on the conflict scale the series holds. Oh no, kids are bad. Whatever shall we do? And I'm pretty sure Lucas sued them at some point for having a lightsaber knockoff. Sherwood Pictures Movies that try to depict real life scenarios and real life problems. Probably fails miserably. Fireproof  Kirk Cameron is the leading man in this picture, which you know means that this is a quality product. It depicts a firefighter with a broken marriage doing what it takes to save it from the abyss known as divorce. Truly a love story about how some token gestures can ensure that the woman in your life is sufficiently subjugated and submissive towards the man of the house. Unless you are a true believer, which then it shows a couple developing a Christ-centered marriage. Courageous:  The story about how 4 police officers try to struggle through life as fathers/husbands and as LEOs. They are trying to be men among men. Manly. So very manly. And dads. And husbands. Now with 20% more real life. I was purposefully ordering the films the way I did because there is a progression here that warrants consideration. I mean sure, the Rapture and Tribulation stuff is pretty crazy. But dystopian futures tend to be a bit on the crazy side, although the level of believability varies. And kids entertainment, while it feels like brainwashing, at least focuses on trying to created kid-oriented stuff meant to distract the kiddos while mommy and daddy have bible time in the bedroom. You can describe it naive and destructive in their own way, and I would agree with you. But they felt a bit innocent about what they were doing. Like they were well meaning. But Fireproof and Courageous, they never felt innocent at all. They actually felt insidious, like there is something inherently wrong with their messaging. Kirk's character is an abusive dickbag. Courageous really whitewashes real life issues that have really severe consequences with a touch of racism hidden inside. The Cloud 10 movies and kids shows never took themselves too seriously. Sure, they were terrible in their own way, but it never felt like they were trying to portray real life. But when you start selling merchandise based on the "Love Dare" which is supposed to help you rekindle your marriage, your posterboy should not be Caleb, which is one domestic disturbance away from a nice jail cell. And that, I feel, is the cardinal sin (HA) of Christian films that try to depict real life. When Christian production companies try to depict real life, they only get life that is a mockup of what they think life is about. You can say that for life in general, but few can have such a large disconnect with reality. It is fun to mock Christian movies, but some films makes you pause a think about how seriously messed up this whole thing is. These films also seem to have a hard-on for manly men. Like firefighters, police officers and the like are things that men should be doing. To the point where I am restraining myself with every fiber of my being from making homoerotic jokes. But the guys who made this movie really love the cock. Like the symbolism of male domination. Things go wrong when the man is in control but gentle enough to In all, despite my opinions on movies released by the Christian Film Industry, I think it is worth talking about what the movies are trying to do and what is the end result. So is there a movie that you want to talk about? A Christian movie that is actually good? Want to sperg about a movie? Have at it.
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Dec 12, 2013 03:47
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aslan posted:When Soul Surfer was released and did so well, I thought we'd see a lot more Christian film companies trying to follow in its footsteps--the kind of Jesus Lite, positive-message movies that could cross over as family-friendly entertainment in the mainstream market. It seemed like a no-brainer--you get a movie that Christians can watch and feel good about, functions as proselytizing for the mainstream market, and makes a bunch of money. The fact that nobody's really tried to duplicate that formula kind of blows my mind. That is kinda the thing though. Getting your arm chomped off is a terribly lovely thing to have happen to you. It would be a more uplifting message if despite her struggles, she remained positive and tried to surf despite her new and shiny disability. That would make for a stronger messaging, like "hey, life can really blow, and I mean, really blow. But it's ok, have faith in the Lord and fight with all your might and you will be in a better place." Not the same place where she would be if she had her arm attached, but a place where she can cope with this sudden lifestyle change. But we don't like to talk about Job at the end of the book rather than in the middle. Great, at the end, he gets all of his stuff back, even has more kids. But then you remember that his first batch is dead, their lives ended in a single moment. You don't come back from that so easily. And job held no delusion that things were going to return back to normal. He was in sheer despair, not sure if he can recover from this. That primal feeling, and the realization that things will never be the same scares the living crap out of everyone, but especially Christians. Why? Because that will clearly mean that God isn't real or that God doesn't care about their well being. That their prayer and time spent at church and being several steps from a sociopath was a waste of time. And that is a crisis of faith that they are likely to never recover from. And that is why real conflict and real suffering will never be a part of Christian films. Because that feels like real life, and our daughter/son can die driving at night or that I can lose my job and can lose the house. That sort of stuff is scary and real and we don't want that. Even the stuff that is visceral like the post about a Mexican Christian film still have that bit of absurdity to them, even if they have this crazy scene about a botched abortion that better fits with a horror movie. Affirming real conflict and pain is to affirm life itself. The closest that I believe a Christian oriented film has gone that route is "The Passion of the Christ" and even then, it felt more like an affirmation that Jesus gets better after all this. Which, to be fair, is kinda the whole basis of the faith. But it takes a different tone when the guy is still in the tomb on the 4th day. quote:As a weirdo agnostic but Christian-film junkie, I would love to discuss: This article suggests that the split isn't a clean one but rather an expansion. Part of the reason why I started this thread is that there has been greater and greater noise being generated about Christian movies. So there is enough interest to generate more films like it. I think that the Kendrick brothers will try to start their own "Industrial Light and Magic" to support other productions if that makes sense. So it is terrible/exciting to see what is happening on that front. Terrible because I doubt that the films will get better. Exciting because this can only produce some spectacular train wrecks. About race, which is funny that you mention that. I was looking for large production companies and came across this medium sized one that was doing a casting call for an Owl City music video. The majority of the cast including the Hero boy/girl were to be Caucasian. There were a few minority roles but for the most part, the production was to be white as the driven snow. So there is that. That said, I do remember that there are film productions that focus primarily on Black Christians, but that is as niche as Tyler Perry presents films. I have to dig around and find some.
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Dec 12, 2013 06:50
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Keanu Grieves posted:I saw Courageous in theaters, reviewed it for Current Releases and gave it 20/50. I am not proud. If you don't follow that link, I can't stress enough that I was high on Vicodin and sleep-deprived when I shelled out cash for a ticket. Even today, I have no memory of the film besides "bland, vaguely racist, corny...and, yet, kinda entertaining." AGAIN THAT IS PROBABLY THE VICODIN TALKING. Now I just have to throw this out there. Are you willing to review this film sober/slightly inebriated? Like do a play by play of the film? Because I'm curious about what you'll think about the film once you take a good look at it.
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Dec 12, 2013 14:34
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Lotish posted:My brother in law talked me into seeing Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 with Michael Biehn and Michael York. Speak of the devil, I found the whole movie on Youtube. I'm going to start a review of it tomorrow. I would do it now but finals.
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Dec 12, 2013 22:30
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Babbies First Guide to the End of Days WARNING: I am not a theologian in any way. I only play one on TV. Feel free to correct me. So before we jump into Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, first we need to talk about the terminology that comes up a fair amount when we talk about the End of Days. People are fascinated about how things will end. Movies, TV shows, plays, your life when you get to that point. But some people really like to think farther ahead than that. Not so much the heat death of the universe, although that can be a fun scenario. But about how all things come to an end. Eschatology is a rather fascinating area of study, focusing on the end of things and the ultimate destiny of mankind. Do we go poof at the end? Do we destroy ourselves? Do we inhabit other planets and have crazy sex with green women? Talking about the final destination; the place where humanity will finally reach is interesting enough and is talked about a great deal among religious circles and even in the secular. However, we are talking about a very specific end. The end as Fundamentalists have envisioned. Which is a mixture of various kinds of scripture and non-scripture and a little bit of mysticism dabbled in it. It is a twisting and a turning and a meshing together until we have one hell of an ending. So we first start with the Ascension of Jesus. His disciples are spreading the word and living together, sharing property and the like. Why? One interpretation is that they believed that Jesus was going to come back for them in their lifetime, overthrow the Romans and bring in a new age of peace. Well, that didn't pan out. Neither did all the other times that people thought the end was coming either. See a pattern? We kinda got this notion that Jesus is going to win over evil once and for all and usher an era of peace and prosperity. Which is our climax of the story. Knowing that, we can talk about how the end start. So between the Book of Revelation and the Book of Daniel, we get this idea that there will be about 7 years of struggle where an Anti-Christ, a figure that will deceive the world and swear allegiance to the Beast. Depending on who is telling the story, the Beast and Satan is separate or they are one and the same. In the case of Megiddo, they are one in the same. But before this happens, the faithful are brought up to heaven in an Event called the Rapture. This is something that a lot of people hear about, but in reality, it is but one variation of it. In this case, it is called premillennialism. Rather than Jesus touching the ground, He just brings everyone up with Him. There are other interpretations but this is generally what End Time folks believe will happen. They and other Christians will not die and ascend into heaven. After that happens a European guy, possibly Italian, will broker peace in Israel and create a new world order that unites the world together. Together with the Catholic Church, people are brought together and then there are a few years of peace and prosperity. That said, poo poo starts to go down eventually. Plagues, death, famine, wars and the like. Then the European guy dies and is then resurrected, becoming the Anti-Christ. He was always meant to be the Anti-Christ you see, and the death enabled him to be more Christ-like which then leads people to worship him. Then in order to buy/sell stuff, they must take a mark of loyalty, which also ensures that they are closed to God for all eternity. So by the end of the 7 year period, The forces of Darkness prepare themselves for war and get utterly crushed by Jesus. You would think they would just get it over with but here we are. The interpretation is that Jesus sets up a utopia that lasts for a thousand years. Satan is sealed away during this time but is then released for one final battle. Presumably, people are still alive after all of this and some of them will be corrupted. Those that decided to serve the Devil and his servants get tossed into the Lake o' Fire, which is the second death. I take it to mean your existence goes away. The faithful get to live in Utopia 2.0 which is better than puppies and unicorns and the like. No bad things or bad feelings ever come up ever again. Why all the reference to the Catholic church and European guys. The Book of Revelations is considered to be a story about the fall of Rome. In other words, it is a completely different story from what was written in the paragraph before. So based on divine revelation, people have come up with this narrative about the End times and should it happen, it will happen in this way. Same thing with the Book of Daniel. Trippy dreams and all taken to mean something special and unique and oh wow, so this is how the world is going to end. You can see it as basically a bunch of people are scared of dying and want to be taken away by Jesus so that the mean ole sinners suffer and then die the final death. And that they know this is going to happen somehow makes them special. And you'll be right. But the thing is if the person dies, they just died before Jesus came back. It is not something that can easily be verified. If a guy gets the date wrong, then we point and laugh at them until the next prediction. But if you have the specifics up in the air, then you can hold onto hope. Which is what makes this set of beliefs so scary really. They want the story to end in a happy ending but as others have pointed out before, it is kinda freaky that Christians are OK with being picked up on the Heaven Express while everyone that they know and some that they love are suffering and may eventually be cast into the Lake of Fire. And they don't care. Next time: The cutest little Anti-Christ.
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Dec 13, 2013 07:34
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Malaleb posted:Haven't seen it since I was in high school, but I remember this being pretty great. Actually, Robert Duvall starred in another great Christian movie called Tender Mercies (1983) about a washed up country singer finding redemption and forgiveness and putting his life back together. (A lot of similarities with Crazy Heart, which also had Duvall.) The main character's conversion to Christianity plays a huge part in the movie, but it wasn't made by a Christian production company so I guess it's not really a "Christian" movie like most in this thread. I think bringing up "Christian" movies made by secular companies is perfectly fine. They serve as a parallel between them and Christian movie companies that try to make purely Christian movies. Ultimately, I think secular films centered around Christianity show what Christian movies are missing. Also, I'll get to Megiddo soon enough. Holidays and all.
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Dec 27, 2013 22:39
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Wizchine posted:Hah, iTunes has the trailer up for a gem called Persecuted set for May 2014 that I haven't watched yet (at work right now, so it's going to remain unwatched for the time being), but check out this awesome blurb: It would be great if the Shamalanian twist was that he did accidentally kill the girl and is then taken off to spend time in the federal pen. But that isn't going to happen.
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Mar 11, 2014 03:54
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Basebf555 posted:Seems like its a response to that Bill Nye debate and other similar events. The pro-evolution professor will probably realize in the middle of the debate that the Christian guy has some good points and that his "science has all the answers" philosophy is missing something. Actually it'll probably be one magical one-liner that will bring Harry Anderson to his knees. Speaking of bringing him to his knees, does anyone catch some of the things that the daughter mentions about her professor? They seem to be on the sensual side, which is unusual to me. Like those scenes are designed to raise the ire of TRUE CHRISTIAN MEN TM who have daughters. I may be the deviant but even if the movie feels like a film grad's first film, that was probably done on purpose. Conal Cochran posted:"She's one of the cutest freshmen we've seen." She's a woman, you see. That's how you measure their worth.
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May 2, 2014 21:32
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lizardman posted:I never really understood why we don't see more Ben-Hur type movies; epics (or other historical-type flicks) that take place in Biblical times and may make reference to Biblical events but are not taken directly from the Bible or other religious texts themselves. It makes sense but one of the big things among evangelicals is that they will actively look for things to be offended about. Making movies about the Bible is even worse because they will find something that contradicts what they think the Bible is about and complain about that. If it doesn't validate their faith, then they will likely treat it as an example of "liberal Hollywood" corrupting the youth and the like. Of course, this mentally isn't the most consistent, since it produces movie concepts like "Satan is pro-life."
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May 13, 2014 22:23
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Here's the trailer to Jesus Camp. It's really quite horrifying: Small thing that I want to add. The lady in the pink shirt right at the beginning and who comments throughout? She gave the movie a pass. She didn't think the movie falsified anything or misinterpreted anything about the people and about what the camp was all about. She saw the movie as a fair portrayal about the Jesus Camp experience. Think about that.
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May 29, 2014 19:55
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DeimosRising posted:If you fail CineD do you have to repeat it? Didn't you know? CineD is hell. We watch Christian movies as a form of eternal torment. But seriously, shut up now! We have more important things to talk about. Like The Lock-In It's 5 bux on their website. I'm buying it tonight.
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Jun 11, 2014 19:59
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:I've heard of product placement but this is an entirely new level Oh my God, I have to watch this movie. I do wonder how persistent Christian Mingle is if you sign up with them. I know eHarmony bugs you with emails like a doting mother who just want to see you happy and married and wants you to give her grandchildren. Shut up mom, I'm trying my best!!!!  But enough about that. I've been meaning to go find out how to acquire Irreplaceable. It's the sort of movie that I would hate watch with some beer but it looks like they are only playing it in churches. I would try to get my church to do it but I don't think they'll appreciate me drinking and yelling at the projector screen.
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Aug 11, 2014 16:22
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:
There is a God! And He loves the posters of the Christian Movie Thread!
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Aug 28, 2014 04:01
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about Kirk Cameron
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Wild T posted:My irrational hatred for Kirk Cameron aside (again: gently caress you Kirk Cameron)... And the poo poo cherry on this poo poo cake, when the guy playing "Boner" died a year or two ago, he commented on the death in the most self serving manner way possible. So yeah, if you have a pool for when Kirk Cameron is going to be found doing heroin with a gay hooker, I wouldn't blame you. Then again, he probably gets more satisfaction being a prick.
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Aug 29, 2014 22:39
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FlamingLiberal posted:Yeah it's in about the same theaters and earning the same as God's Not Dead did earlier this year. It's still making a pretty low amount in the grand scheme of things. However considering the production values, I figure this HAS to make a profit. Evidently, the production costs is valued at around 20 million. With a side of scandal in the link because, of course they are.
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Oct 4, 2014 22:20
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bobkatt013 posted:I love how this thread is also becoming the Kevin Sorbo thread. Of course. He's the son of god. Totally legit.
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Mar 27, 2015 19:03
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Jack Gladney posted:Was that Carman asking us to trib with him? Ha! I remember Carman. This music video is a favorite of mine. Because the implication that God and Satan are the same guy. Not on purpose of course. Still funny though. Incidentally, I remember reading that Carman had cancer in the mid to late 00s. He's evidentially better though.
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May 31, 2015 21:30
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sbaldrick posted:That's a super white platoon for an American unit during Vietnam. I think you already know this but it bears repeating. Christian movies has more projection than an indie film festival.
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Jun 30, 2015 19:04
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Ye gods, I failed this thread. So it turns out that Dark Dungeons came out last year and is available for digital download for half the price to post in SA.
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Aug 21, 2015 20:38
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McSpanky posted:I assume her general biographical facts and reasonably corroboratable parts like "ran a youth church group" and "wrote about God a lot in a journal" are true. But yeah, I'm sure most if not all of the wishful-thinking stuff in her dad's book about knowing she was going to die and her last words and all are a sad (but understandable on his part, I say not in contempt) effort to make meaning out of tragedy that's maybe being exploited here. It's become such a part of the evangelical "story" that the accuracy doesn't matter at this point. For the type of people that watch this movie, it is as true as it can possibly be.
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Apr 2, 2016 06:56
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jojoinnit posted:I've seen loads of ads for Ben Hur but it just looked like another Gladiator retread and I've found just rewatching Gladiator tends to scratch that itch for me. I've never seen the original and had no idea there was meant to be any kind of Christian angle to it until just now. Not surprised that it bombed and honestly I'm surprised they're still greenlighting these huge historical or biblical epics. Don't they tend to lose money every time, at least for the past 15 years or so? (feels like post-Alexander they've always been failures except for Mel's Passion of course). I think it's because of Mel's Passion that people keep trying to make the next biblical epic.
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Aug 24, 2016 13:25
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