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With my town being devoid of quality women, college in the rearview mirror, and dating sites failing me, I decided to try out speed dating both for the hell of it and out of curiosity. It's an interesting opportunity and I've had a variety of experiences and success in my five goes at it since October '12 so far. The easiest to find (and, apparently, biggest) company specializing in speed dating is Pre-Dating, which took over what used to be managed by Cupid. They hold events throughout the US and Canada and can be found here: https://www.pre-dating.com/ How does this work? Much like you've probably seen in commercials, movies, whatever, the women sit at their own table and the guys rotate in numerical order to them. You have six minutes to get an impression about them (more below). You'll get what amounts to a scorecard. On it will be the person's badge number, a blank for you to write their name, and "Let's Chat" or "No Thanks" to circle. This is turned in at the end of the event and will be needed by the coordinator to make matches. They have a long FAQ page (https://www.pre-dating.com/faq.html), which is both useful or worthless depending on what you're asking, so I'll expand by throwing out some first-hand tips if anybody's considering doing it: How many people can I expect to meet in a night? I've seen as few as 8 (last night) and as many as 16. The local coordinator usually caps it at 13, but...wound up with 16 once. Expect 2-2 1/2 hours if the count is on the high end. How much time do I have to talk to someone? Six minutes. If you're really clicking with somebody, this won't feel like enough, and you'll have to hope they pick you (see below). On the other hand, if you're talking to somebody socially awkward and are dragging the conversation on, you'll be desperate to be saved by the bell. What should I talk about? You get six minutes. Choose wisely. The options are endless, but the trick is to get a gauge on who you're talking to. My flow typically goes like this: -"Is this your first time doing this?" (Icebreaker) --If Yes, "Are you liking it/What do you think so far?" --If No, "How many times have you come?" -"What do you do?" --If they're in college/grad school, ask something about what they want to do. -"What do you do for fun?"/"So, when you're not ____________ (their job), what do you get into for fun?" --Expand into mutual interests. Most people like travel. Talk about where you/they've been or where you/they want to go. ...this will probably wrap up the time effectively and give you an idea as to what you want to know about them (and they, about you). I've attended before, how do you make sure I don't meet the same people? If you go enough times, you're going to get some repeats. How should I dress for the event? This is the most vague session on the FAQ. Go business casual. I do a polo shirt/collared shirt and khaki pants. Don't worry about dress shoes, as they're probably not going to see your feet anyway. If you really want to think outside the box, wear something nice indicating something you're interested in. I have a Columbus Blue Jackets polo shirt, which was a useful conversation starter when they were in the playoff hunt last year and draws out the puck bunnies.  Who will I meet? A variety of different people. I've met dental students, med school students, law students, personal trainers, nurses, dietitians, nannies, supervisors at pet boarding facilities, people who are unemployed...the list goes on and on. I've also met people who were grad students that barely spoke English. How will my matches contact me? You'll get an e-mail from the event coordinator. I've gotten it within 24 hours, but it at times ranging from 6am and 5pm, just depends on what other stuff he/she has going on. When you get the e-mail, it'll look like this: -"Hey, here's your email with the results. Hope you didn't suck" -Who you matched with (you picked them, they picked you) -Who picked you but you didn't pick (this is a nice safety option in case you were on the fence about somebody). If nobody picked you, you get a free credit to try it again in the future. Tips/tricks not included in the FAQ: -Sometimes people will ask about "the competition". People, especially women, come to these in groups. Be careful what you say about others, especially if there was a dud. --If you've either picked up on or explicitly heard which people are together, my attitude is pick who you're interested in if you wind up with a good feeling about only one of them. -There's no guarantee somebody will answer your email even if you matched. This could be because a) they weren't taking this seriously, b) you were below somebody on their personal list, or c) they're horrible at email. There are no guarantees as to "courtesy" here, so don't count on a "I picked somebody else" or "I really wasn't interested" message. -The best attitude to take in attending one of these is "No expectations, no disappointments". Between myself and a couple friends who have also gone, I've had and heard results ranging from "10 of the 12 picked me" to "At least they're paying for my next session". -If you can't go, let the coordinator know. They're supposed to blacklist anybody who doesn't show. -You'll need to grab something to drink to keep your throat from getting scratchy. Your opportunities to do this will be at the start and, if there are enough people, at the "halftime" you get halfway through. I usually go with water, but alcohol is probably fine depending on how much it takes you to get drunk. The first time I went, the last girl I talked to was wrecked and...yeah...not attractive. -Bathroom usage is sort of the same idea as getting drinks. There are no breaks in the event except for halftime. Go before it starts and at the break, if needed. -It's entirely possible to see somebody you know at one of these. A friend I'd known since middle school was at the first one I attended (one of 10 girls that went in a metro area of roughly 1 million). Neither one of us knew the other was going. I was startled to see her there. Any other questions, feel free to ask, as I wish I'd have had an idea as to what I was getting into before I did it the first time. Would've been easier. e- Added demographic and drink advice. CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 01:13 on Feb 8, 2014 |
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Jan 11, 2014 03:57
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CBJSprague24 posted:If nobody picked you, you get a free credit to try it again in the future. Ever linger around at the event after it's over to spend some more time with someone you really hit it off with? Is it an easy/productive way to get laid?
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Jan 11, 2014 06:31
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photomikey posted:Ouch. The second one I attended, one of the girls (law student, no less) asked if I was hanging out afterward. I did and went to look for her, only to find she'd left. Go figure. I stayed after Thursday night in an effort to chat with one girl I was interested in and felt like I'd had a good conversation with. Ended up bailing because it began dumping snow in buckets and I had an hour to drive after it was over. To my surprise, she didn't pick me, so I guess it was OK tackling white death when I did in the end. As for getting laid, I don't know. I know of one guy who dated a girl several times as a result of one of the nights, but I don't know how far they went. It's probably a "Your results will vary" deal. Here's my success rate Number of matches and who they were/Number of participants. (# of people that picked me but I didn't pick them): October '12- 1 for 10, pharmacology student (1 picked me that I didn't pick) January '13- 2 for 13, law student & med school student (4 one-way) April '13- 1 for 15, medical student completing internship (4 one-way) May '13- 0 for 15 (1 one-way) January '14- 0 for 8 Frustratingly, none of the four I "matched" with ever answered when I checked in. One of the girls that picked me in January was somebody I was on the fence about. I emailed her and started a casual friendship, but realized I wasn't interested in more.
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Jan 11, 2014 16:32
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I got a couple of one-night stands out of speed dating events in Brisbane. Nothing more serious though.
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Jan 11, 2014 18:45
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How much does it cost for the service? Where are the events held? If it's at a coffee shop/restaurant/bar, are you expected to purchase drinks (like a two drink minimum or something)?
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Jan 12, 2014 02:42
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I'm not eligible for the "nobody picked you" free credit from this event because I used a credit for this event. t (I had scheduled to do one in August, which was postponed and I wasn't able to go as a result.) fork bomb posted:How much does it cost for the service? Where are the events held? If it's at a coffee shop/restaurant/bar, are you expected to purchase drinks (like a two drink minimum or something)? It's currently $34 (US). The first one I attended was at Bar Louie at Easton in Columbus, while the place where they hold them currently in my area is a somewhat upscale bar which also serves as the clubhouse for an apartment community. There's no drink/food purchase minimum that I know of. I've gotten by with a couple glasses of water every time I've gone.
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Jan 12, 2014 03:54
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Sounds like a pretty terrible match rate, would you still say it's worth the price?
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Jan 12, 2014 05:42
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How's the caliber of women who attend? As well as the men?
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Jan 12, 2014 06:16
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Fairly passive posted:I got a couple of one-night stands out of speed dating events in Brisbane. Nothing more serious though. What is this like in Aus? Is it popular? I'm guessing somewhere like Melb would do a lot of it, if it was done much. FrozenVent posted:Sounds like a pretty terrible match rate, would you still say it's worth the price? I don't know about this. So you're seeing the goods up front, so to speak. So unlike Internet dating or being set up or blind dates, you're straight away seeing and meeting the person for real. This is important, photos can be taken from weird angles and although personality is what is most important in the end, you also need that spark of sexual attraction. Then I guess in six minutes you can generally get a vibe for someone, it usually works the same way in a bar or something. I would think you'd get a different crowd coming to these sorts of things, people really looking for someone rather than young 20-somethings just looking for a fun night out. Pretty much every time he goes he at least gets a lead out of it. I think that's fine and would keep going based on that, 34 bucks is nothing if you compare it to what drinks cost in a classy nightspot. I like the idea of the lights up, everyone sober and actually talking.. rather than being half cut and yelling over music to someone.
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Jan 12, 2014 11:01
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One of my female friends did it in Melbourne a few months this year and she said it was a blast. She got a few leads out of it but they tended to fizzle after a few dates. There are apparently a few different companies doing it in Melb, she said she ran into the same people only once or twice. From what she said though it sounds like heaps of fun, it's on my to-do list just for a good night out. As an aside, we were both at another speed-dating event but weren't participating, we were watching though. God drat it was painful watching when the two people weren't even speaking to each other, just like NOPE and checking their phones waiting for the bell.
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Jan 12, 2014 13:07
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Tommofork posted:NOPE and checking their phones waiting for the bell. Haha holy poo poo. I can't imagine doing that, I'd always just put on a smile and make small talk.. but then again what age are we talking about? edit: actually more to the point, are there age specific events? Can I go to one to meet people between say 25-35. I would lose interest in this pretty quickly if I went to one and found myself across the table from a 20 year old that is studying full time. Just a totally different stage of life to me. Tony Montana fucked around with this message at 14:26 on Jan 12, 2014 |
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Jan 12, 2014 14:08
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I have no idea them specifically but I assume the event was for the 20-30 crowd. Yeah I remember some events were sorted age groups and by some income too, probably other more specific events as well. Really just google speed dating in your city and go from there. It's not underground or anything, they advertise upcoming events and want you and your money there.
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Jan 12, 2014 14:51
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Tony Montana posted:What is this like in Aus? Is it popular? Fairly popular. There are lots of events every month organised by Fast Impressions, Brisbane Speed Date and RSVP. They vary in format but they're generally segregated by age. Some also attempt to sort by height "Tall Men Speed Dating" (no shorties) and body type "Fit & Healthy Speed Dating" (no fatties). I say attempt, no-one actually seemed to be turned away.
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Jan 12, 2014 16:25
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FrozenVent posted:Sounds like a pretty terrible match rate, would you still say it's worth the price? I think it's still worth it. It's not in the match rate, but rather the quality. I only matched with one or two a time, but had one where I was picked by half the girls there. Unfortunately, the ones I did match with never got back to me. Plus, it has an edge over typical methods of meeting people at a bar, which results in lots of "Should I go up and talk to him/her or not?". In this case, you're (for lack of a better word) forced to meet them, which takes any apprehension right out of it and may lead to a conversation you wouldn't otherwise have. photomikey posted:How's the caliber of women who attend? As well as the men? As a guy, I've found the women run a wide gamut. In terms of looks, much like anything else, it runs the spectrum from gorgeous to...unimpressive? (Is that the word I'm looking for?). In terms of how the guys are, I only pay attention to what I'm up against, and even then I'm scouting the ladies before it starts. The friend who was at my first event, however, seemed unimpressed with the guys she saw and "didn't even want to open her email". In terms of intangibles, I think all of the ones I've met have had some form of higher education and have worked in a variety of careers. I've been surprised at the number of medical and law school students and nurses. E- Hobbies are all over the place. Lots of girls like travel in my experience. One woman in her 20s played Minecraft or Dungeons and Dragons or some MMORPG, can't remember which Tony Montana posted:edit: actually more to the point, are there age specific events? Can I go to one to meet people between say 25-35. I would lose interest in this pretty quickly if I went to one and found myself across the table from a 20 year old that is studying full time. Just a totally different stage of life to me. They typically go in increments of 10, starting at 22. So 22-32/24-34/26-36 may be a young night, then 36-46, 46-56, and even 54-64. CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Jan 12, 2014 |
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Jan 12, 2014 21:26
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CBJSprague24 posted:In terms of intangibles, I think all of the ones I've met have had some form of higher education and have worked in a variety of careers. I've been surprised at the number of medical and law school students and nurses. All of those folks are in the midst of intense scheduling pressures from their studies, which means that speed dating is a really good option for them if they want to develop a relationship at the same time.
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Jan 12, 2014 23:24
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I never thought of it that way, but that's a great point.
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Jan 13, 2014 21:23
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Since the commies that run the company gipped me on my free event credit, I paid to go again last night. 12 girls registered, 10 showed up (two couldn't make it due to weather-related delays). I found myself picking four of them. One mutual match this time, another picked me but I didn't pick her. Among the options were a girl graduating RN school today, a physical therapist, two employees of an aviation company in the area, a paralegal, two retail managers, and a girl that's gone three times with whom I'm tired of trying to drag on a conversation for six minutes. The physical therapist described speed dating as Dating Roulette. I wish I would've thought of that when I wrote the OP.
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Feb 7, 2014 20:46
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What's funny is that your OP convinced me to try this myself. I also live in Columbus and attended the same event (I'm a dude - you wouldn't have noticed me). I had two mutual matches and three picked me that I didn't pick. I only picked the two, so I'm amazingly 100% I was actually really surprised with the quality of women. I'll be ecstatic if either of the two women I matched with respond to my email.
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Feb 7, 2014 23:05
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ifuckedjesus posted:What's funny is that your OP convinced me to try this myself. I also live in Columbus and attended the same event (I'm a dude - you wouldn't have noticed me). Nice! The whole reason for the thread was to give goons a first-hand guide as to how this stuff actually works because their FAQ page can be vague, so I'm glad it helped. Kinda interesting that it was so close to my neck of the woods, too. One other tip I picked up from the coordinator on Thursday during the "bye" (two girls didn't show, so there were two six minute periods where the guys had to just sorta hang out) was that January and February are the most active months for these events. -January is post-holiday, with no event in December and New Year's Resolutions to -February is busy because of Valentine's Day. 
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Feb 9, 2014 16:18
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In Cleveland I've been to a few Speed Dating events, two types. One was 3 minutes, as much as 20 guys 20 girls at Anatomy Nightclub downtown Cleveland and another in Rocky River which had 8 guys and 8 girls for 8 minutes each. I noticed that if I didn't select some girls, the number of missed chances corresponded to that because apparently they selected me. Which is B.S. but whatever. If there's a match, they send email information and you get in touch after that way. It's mainly a fun thing to do on a night out and mingle with peeps.
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Feb 9, 2014 16:42
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The girl I matched with never replied to my email. Oh well.
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Feb 13, 2014 02:39
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CBJSprague24 posted:The girl I matched with never replied to my email. Oh well. It seems weird that they wouldn't go on a date with everyone they matched with to see where it would go. Or I guess they really didn't want to meet someone.
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Feb 19, 2014 03:44
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spwrozek posted:It seems weird that they wouldn't go on a date with everyone they matched with to see where it would go. Or I guess they really didn't want to meet someone. They're just playing the system. If you match with someone it tells you that you match and gives you their email address. It's easier to ignore a "match" than try to convince someone you didn't match with that you're interested. Especially for a girl - they are less inclined to do the initiating.
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Feb 19, 2014 04:53
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Thanks for this thread it is quite interesting. As mentioned above the weak point in speed dating seems to be the email exchange that happens after the event and. Are people still that bad at email, or is there something else going on? My only guess is the cool off period after the speed date and the girls (or guys?) have second thoughts, but I'm at a loss as to why people would say they like someone, but then not respond to them afterwards.
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Feb 19, 2014 18:53
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I'm shocked that I live in one of the biggest college towns in the US and there is no speed dating event here. There are some half an hour away...
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Feb 19, 2014 19:37
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Unknownmass posted:Thanks for this thread it is quite interesting. As mentioned above the weak point in speed dating seems to be the email exchange that happens after the event and. Are people still that bad at email, or is there something else going on? My only guess is the cool off period after the speed date and the girls (or guys?) have second thoughts, but I'm at a loss as to why people would say they like someone, but then not respond to them afterwards. I'm going to back up and explain my experience and thoughts from a first-timer and reflect on where I personally stand today. Maybe this will give you some insight. I'll start by giving you my background and you'll just have to take my word for it. I'm a good looking guy, have always had attractive women in my life, have a good job, college degree, etc. Recently, my long time g/f (5+ years) cheated on me, and we broke up. Honestly I went to the event to get back in "dating mode" as much as anything. I don't know if I would have thought of it myself without the post from the OP to give me the idea. I'm still kicking myself for having a great discussion with beautiful girl a couple months ago at a bar and not asking for her number. It sounds stupid, but after being out of the dating pool for so long you almost need a refresher. To that end it was a good experience. I guess what I expected was a group of men and women that maybe felt that the bar scene wasn't for them, or they were sick of one night stands and hoping to find a real relationship. I no longer think this is true. My guess is that most of the people there were doing this just to supplement and meet more people. Anyways, on to the event itself. It's much like you would expect - you talk to people, some that you'll be interested in, some that you wont. Here's probably the key piece to your question because think of how you would approach this: Personally, I met 2 girls that I really thought I could see myself with; but there were another 1-2 girls that I was on the fence about. You only have 6 minutes... maybe those girls I was on the fence about were just nervous. The corollary is that maybe the 2 I was interested in really had a good script down. Then there's the concern that how will they react if you do go on a date but have other dates lined up. If I were to do it again, I think I would forget about picking all the girls that I thought I might match with, and just go up and talk to the one I was most interested in after the event and say gently caress the rest. Treat it more like a bar situation. People don't want to feel like they were picked 2nd or 3rd. I certainly don't anyways. Moving on to after the event. I contacted both the women I matched with. One told me that she already met someone else - this was 2 days after the event. She probably already has a b/f and was on the fence; I'm just speculating. The other I went on one date with. She's really nice but not my type. I plan on going on a second date with her, but that's probably it. I hate to go any longer and break a nice girls heart. I might do it again, but for now I think I'm going back to sticking with bars. It really was a fun experience, I just don't think it's the best route for me. OP - try my suggestion at the next event and just concentrate on one girl. I bet you'll have better results buddy.
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Feb 20, 2014 06:36
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Don't know how I missed the last couple of posts in this thread, but ifuckedjesus' rundown is a pretty good analysis of things. Tried it again on Thursday and had the most "interesting" encounter yet: a girl originally from Honduras who had moved to the area and appeared to not give two fucks about being there. She was decent-looking, but extremely flippant in her attitude and really had nothing to say. Just after I talked to her, she excused herself from the guy she was talking to, grabbed her friend, and apparently demanded to leave. The two left and didn't return. (Her friend was a solid girl who, as I later saw, had no intentions of picking me so it's a moot point.) I've got two emails out to "matches", one of whom actually lives in my town about 45 minutes from where the event was held. She just replied & I'm waiting to see if the other gets back.
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Jun 1, 2014 00:25
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