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The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Somebody get Spencer an account (who am I kidding he probably has one already). He's like Cochran if Cochran had also been an athlete in High School.

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The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rob Cesternino has his cast analysis and prediction podcast up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlKXuQfJfm4

Looks like an unusually promising cast, full of people who are actual fans of the show.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Binary Logic posted:

Man that guy can talk and talk and talk. :words: And Nicole seems somewhat fixated on Morgan's...assets. I didn't know the first ep would be 2 hours, looking forward to that.

Strictly speaking it isn't a proper extended premiere, they just decided to air the first two episodes back to back because of the olympics.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Mercaptopropyl posted:

God forbid they just push the show back a week and not do a recap episode late in the season

We don't know that there will be one. I don't recall seeing one since South Pacific.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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I'm furious - I'm rooting for Spencer and now his game is in tatters because of that imbecile.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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BGrifter posted:

Yeah Spencer is absolutely right up my alley. Looking at his pregame interviews I was worried he'd just be an obnoxious rear end on the beach. Fortunately it seems like he's hitting all the right notes being savvy with his gameplay and saving all the villainous stuff for confessionals. He's in a lousy spot and should be one of the next couple boots, but if he can wriggle out of the corner he's in I expect big things from him. I could see him being sort of an evil Cochran.

It's rather refreshing to see someone getting that right. A good villain isn't the sort that talks poo poo and causes trouble in camp. A good villain manipulates and plays the hell out of the game with a smile to everyone's faces while sticking the knife in their back with zingers in confessionals. People forget Fairplay was rather well liked by most of the other players on Survivor Pearl Islands until they got home and watched the season.

If anyone was on the fence I highly recommend listening to Survivor Know-it-Alls and Rob's podcast with Aras. Both were very entertaining. It's good to have Stephen back and Aras seems to click well with Rob on the show.

He's like a Cochran from a parallel Universe where everyone is evil.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Bjay9 posted:

So Cochran from South Pacific?

He isn't that adorable.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Mercaptopropyl posted:

Didn't think I'd be saying this, but Sarah is even worse at interrogating people than Tony is at chasing criminals across rooftops.

In fairness we have no data on Tony's ability to chase criminals across rooftops. He could secretly be Batman for all we know.

On the one hand, I'm glad beauty lost, because I'm rooting for Spencer and all the interesting people I want to see stick around are either on Brains or Brawn, but on the other hand every single person on the Beauty tribe is a bland nothing person, or otherwise annoying, and I couldn't bring myself to give two shits about who got voted off in this episode.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Lone Goat posted:

What episode were you guys watching where you thought Spencer was killing it in the bucket half of the challenge? Half his throws were landing by Tasha's feet. J'Tia was throwing drops of water because she was receiving drops of water; watch it again, Probst said you have to throw what you receive.

I like Spencer, and he did really well in the maze portion of the challenge, but they got really lucky that Beauty was as bad at this week's puzzle as J'Tia was at last week's.

Guess the kid's not the tosser everyone thought he'd be going into the season huh?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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BGrifter posted:

As the resident Survivor Fiji booster the cast for that season is badly underrated. It's a cast with arguably the most beloved Survivor of all time AND the most hated villain in Dreamz. Earl was an excellent winner who seems to get criticism for being too dominant. There were a bunch of fun early game knuckleheads to keep things entertaining. The fall of the Four Horsemen was amazing, Rocky an colossal tool and Survivor Fiji gave us the music of Lisi Linares.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j-S7h9YeKIc

I rank that video up there with Fabio's strange homoerotic movie and Coach's 180.

where could I get hold of this strange homoerotic Fabio movie? I want to know for...reasons...

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Professor Shark posted:

I hadn't heard this- that's hosed up.

I don't remember the specifics but I believe she made some nasty remarks in an interview somewhere didn't she? Something to do with Israel, or Jewish people or something, if I remember correctly.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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The brains tribe is so terrible at challenges that they were beaten by a tribe that was actively attempting to lose. This is hilarious, Spencer is more physically and mentally competent than all the rest of them put together, I can't wait to see what he can do post merge.

I like to think that Spencer is what would be created if Cochran had a love child with Corrine.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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The TV IV › Survivor Cagayan: Spencer vs The World

Can a mod please action this asap?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Shakugan posted:

We have a consensus, right? That J'Tia is literally the worst survivor to have ever played the game? There have been some awful players in the past, but they generally get the boot really quickly. This season J'Tia somehow managed to survive for more than one episode and so had more opportunity to demonstrate her awfulness than anyone ever before.

* Started out super bossy.
* Had a plan for a shelter that didn't work.
* Has almost single-handedly been the cause for her team losing in every challenge she participated in.
* Burned all the rice and generally showed herself to be completely unstable.

Surely she must be the worst ever. Never before have we seen the perfect storm of actively harmful in challenges (like, she was literally worse than useless; the brain tribe would have done better in every challenge if she hadn't been there and were competing with a small team), completely useless when doing chores around camp, crazy enough to dump all the rice, unaware enough to be bossy right from the get go etc.

Absolutely amazing.

It's also pretty amazing how the casting obviously went for two cop stereotypes. We've got the Vic Mackey type who doesn't care about the rules and seems ok with bashing in a few heads, then we have the absolute cop loyalty stereotype. Like, Sarah is interesting in how much she seems to have bought into the cop "cult" (for lack of a better term). She can't even conceive of the idea that the guy who lied to her for ages about being a cop could be lying to her about other things. Nope, he's a cop and cops ALWAYS stick together LALALALALALALALALALA can't hear your counterarguments.

Being a cop is obviously a really important part of her self-image. Unfortunately she doesn't seem able to recognise that other cops may not view their cop status in the same way, and it's going to sink her. Or forunately, depending on perspective. It's pretty hilarious how she is being manipulated.

It depends how you define worst. She's still spent more time in the game than Fransasquatch did across two seasons.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Huge Liability posted:

I'm catching up late again. Was this the first time a tribe has failed to throw a challenge because their opponent is just so loving awful? It was hilarious to watch. This season has been a treat so far.

Can't wait to see if they vote out their only tribe member who can throw a plastic ball

e: At this point, I'm surprised they didn't.

Throwing the balls wasn't their issue. Fetching them was. That tribe could literally have been improved by an order of magnitude by replacing J'tia with a golden retriever. I bet the average IQ would have risen too.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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LeJackal posted:

You nailed it. When Spencer and Jeremiah took the lead on that log, the second wall went down immediately. This is partly because when they were running up to it, Spencer aimed the tip at where a cross-brace was - having remembered the locations from the first wall. Brawn just slammed their ram through the vertical slats but between the cross-braces, expending their momentum for very little gain.

you'd think Tony would be more experienced at knocking doors down.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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LeJackal posted:

Maybe you can explain how his ability to drink a beer relates to anything else, because I've never understood the significance of it no matter the context or frequency of its use.
"Man, he sure can drink beer - he should do my heart surgery tomorrow!"
"Man, he sure can drink beer - that obviously qualifies him to be the best president!"
"Man, he sure can drink beer - he deserves to win Survivor!"

I don't get it. There isn't even beer available to Woo.

It's a figure of speech. It means he seems like a pleasant person to spend some time around in a casual social context. Somebody who's company you'd enjoy. It has nothing to do with the actual capacity to drink beer.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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BGrifter posted:

It's less the positioning I was giving him credit for and more just surprising physical strength and ability in the challenges so far. He's a lot more capable than I would have ever imagined before the season started, and it's been masked by equally poor performances from J'Tia and others. I was expecting him to be a Cochran 1.0 in challenges.

I do think the Brains tribe have been getting a bit of an unfair ride though. They were saddled with one of the worst challenge competitors in Survivor history. Take J'Tia out of the picture and I think you end up with a pretty average tribe. Nothing spectacular, but a middle of the road unoffensive win some/lose some sort of group.

This whole "smart people are automatically good at puzzles" meme needs to die too. Even Probst likes to shout it out in challenges when it's been proven false many seasons ago. If intelligence had much of a bearing on puzzle performance David from Redemption Island would have smoked them and Boston Rob would be terrible at them.

He was never going to be a Cochran 1.0 challenge wise. All you needed to see to figure that out was his topless photo shot in the preseason promotional material, where you can clearly see actual muscle definition; and his bio where he said he was captain of his high school track team.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Brandon.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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The woman clearly has some horse somewhere in her ancestry. Judging from the noise that comes out of her mouth when she laughs, she also speaks the mother tongue quite fluently.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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In this hypothetical season it seems far more likely that there would be 20 players.

I want that tattooed guy who got voted out first in Phillipines back - zane wasn't it? If we can include players from this season Tony and Spencer would be nice. I also wouldn't mind seeing Sherri from Caramoan again.

A thought occurred to me the other day as to what might make for an awesome all stars season. Get the producers to contact every former survivor player and check to see if they are willing to do another season. Once you have a list of all players willing to come back, put the list online and let the public vote to determine who gets cast.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Wren610 posted:

Plural love affairs? Thats the last thing I would have suspected the way this seasons going. I think this episode will be cut and dry Morgan will piss Kass off. Kass will want to vote Morgan off cause Kass is a egotistical brat the 5 alliance will pile on cause its an easy vote so if something other than that happens I'll be happy. Of course with so many people overplaying this season nothing's a sure bet.

It's an article from a couple of years ago. It isn't referring to this season.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Fast Luck posted:

Yeah but why would Woo care that Spencer left them? I think Woo was planning to use that as a pretense to get into Spencer's pants, hoping to grab an idol or clue and it just ended up being even easier than he expected.

he can hardly be blamed. I'd want to get into spencer's pants too.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Bigass Moth posted:

I've seen every episode of every season of Survivor and I have no problems putting Kass in the bottom 5 worst players of all time list with Lil, Dreamz, Leif, and [Insert One World player of choice]. In a season with Brains, Brawn and Beauty I can confidently say she is the only competitor who has none of those qualities. She delusionally thinks she's running the game, nobody likes her, she's not trustworthy, she can't contribute in challenges or at camp or socially, she seems to get off on ruining strategy and straight up reduced her standing from at worst bottom of 5 to at best bottom of 6. I guess she can be taken to the final 3 as a goat, but she's not a trustworthy vote so I doubt anyone will want to drag her along when Jefra is available and will vote however she's told.

J'tia needs to be in that bottom 5 list. I assume we aren't counting quitters.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Meinberg posted:

It's scheduling speculation, which is perhaps valid, perhaps not. It might be a one hour finale, for example.

or it could even mean they're going to have a recap + deleted scenes episode. That hasn't happened since south pacific has it?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Lone Goat posted:

How many times was the season winner the person that won the last immunity challenge? By having less eliminations, it gives the "better" player a greater chance of making Final Tribal Council.

These are the worst case scenario, but I'd much rather have those seasons end the way they did, than have FTCs where the final 2 could have been:

Monica/Gervase
Dawn/Sherri
Lisa/Skupin *(Denise did not win final immunity)
Chelsea/Sabrina
Coach/Albert
Natalie/Phillip

Cochran won final immunity in caramoan. He would have won regardless of whether he'd taken sherri or dawn.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

More Nicaragua thoughts: Brenda is the best :swoon:

Have you seen Caramoan yet?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Nope, I'm going in order

Every season, or just the Highlights?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Every season :)

Outstanding.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Marty why did you give your idol to Sash? What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you were a good player :doh:

e: Wait, he didn't get voted out? What the hell? :stare:

Keep up the commentary. It's fun to hear what you think of players and moments as you come to them.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Naonka is the best trainwreck ever. I hope she gets another season at some point (don't tell me!)

It has just come to my attention that there's someone in this season called Purple Kelly who I haven't noticed at all. It's Brett from Samoa all over again.

Ever since Purple Kelly, it's been traditional to refer to people who get ignored by the edit as 'Purple [name]'

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Poque posted:

Even worse was that those four made up the entirety of Survivor for two years. There's got to be a bit of a compounding factor there - I wonder if we'd collectively enjoy South Pacific a bit more if it were showing up now rather than directly on the heels of two bottom-of-the-barrel seasons.

I've always counted South Pacific as a favorite, but that could just be a combination of Cochran plus it being the first season I started talking about with goons on the Internet/reading recaps/listening to podcasts about.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Wait, Fabio wins? :lol:

I like to think of it as the season when Forrest Gump won survivor.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Spatula City posted:

poo poo, I'm sorry I spoiled it. :smith:
anyway, tonight I went back and finished watching Pearl Islands. Great season, and although Fairplay was amazing, I'm glad he wasn't even in the final 2. Mostly because he's a misogynist dickweed. The grandmother lie was amazing, but the way he constantly harped on how dumb the women were in his confessionals made him look like a tremendous penis.
Sandra is great, and sometimes it's great when the big move maker isn't the winner. Plus, it totally fit the pirate theme, the amount of betrayals going back and forth, and shifting alliances, until all the combatants fell down except for 2 who had been largely ignored and underestimated.
Gonna watch an early season next time I get some free time (Saturday?). Marquesas, The Amazon, Guatemala, Panama, or Fiji?

Guatemala

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Does anyone have links to all the old Survivor threads? I'd love to see all of them.

And Russell just got totally bitchslapped by his tribe, it was the best :byewhore:

Do you know about Rob Cesternino's podcasts? you might like to watch those. Also this site does hilarious survivor recaps:

http://bitchysurvivor.blogspot.com.au/

How do you feel about the whole redemption island thing?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

So Philip on RI is legitimately nuts, right?

I believe he was a 'federal agent' in some more than likely non field capacity, because they trotted out a coworker during the reunion, but I've always been convinced the nuttiness is equal parts mugging for the camera, and a deliberate strategic choice. Every interview/podcast he's been a part of since he's always come across totally differently - completely rational.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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BGrifter posted:

He's a little eccentric on RHAP but yeah, it's got to be mostly an act. He's certainly no Coach who seems to legit live his gimmick. (and do all his interviews while working out to prove how fit and manly he is)

Did anyone in the thread pick up Phillip's book?



Speaking of which, has anyone read the book about Coach's solo kayak voyage? It predates his time on survivor, and is good reading.

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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STAC Goat posted:

I don't much like him, that's kind of obvious and I've admitted it. But you of all people should know from the Big Brother threads that if I really dislike or hate someone I have no problem admitting it.

But come on, I actually called him a "lame-o" specifically because I thought I was such a silly insult that everyone would know I was just being goofy and wouldn't get defensive. That Woo comment wasn't worth hating anyone over.

There's a Coach movie? Dear Lord.

I think your post got truncated by mistake. You meant Dear Lord Yes! Right?

The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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BGrifter posted:

I'm going to skip it unless someone says it's amazing. Eliza is kind of unbearable. Always stirring up drama and talking poo poo about new players on Twitter trying to get attention. Of the former players on the show she seems to be one of the most desperate for attention.

I used to read her recaps that she wrote for some site, until she went absolutely crazy over the caramoan first boot, and started spewing the vilest poo poo as if it was some personal affront. She continued abusing certain players all season. I also note that she abandoned her recapping that season, and never came back to it.

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The Lord Bude
May 23, 2007

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Rarity posted:

Just finished Redemption Island. I can see why it's lumped in with the bad seasons cause there's not much in the way of great strategy but as a huge Boston Rob fan it was a joy to see him completely school everyone for the whole season. Also there was crazy Philip and the hilarity of Matt being endlessly beaten with the poo poo stick at Redemption Island.

Felt really bad for Natalie at the FTC though. Yeah, she was super naive but that's no reason to have such a go at her :smith:

Next you get to watch one of my favorite seasons. (although most people will disagree with me).

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