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AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
This dude sounds like a trainwreck all around, between the poor hygiene, the rawdogging, and the not telling you he's in a relationship.

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AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Mocking Bird posted:

Wait, she’s stopping sex to clean out your semen as a BIRTH CONTROL METHOD?

That’s really the star of the show here

Yes, that's completely insane and accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Like, what kind of sex education did this lady have?

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

oliveoil posted:

No, I'm sorry if that is what I said. She uses a pill form of BC, she just *also* prefers to stop and clean it out as an extra step, to minimize the amount of time it's in there so that risk of pregnancy is also decreased.

That's not a thing, though. I mean, get back together with someone who is uninformed and uncommunicative about sex if you like, but at least you should have the correct information.

Also, part of why people are engaging with this here in the thread isn't to pile on, but to be sure no random person reading the thread in future picks up this incorrect information.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Octolady posted:

Thanks guys, you’re right that the “porn bounce” was how I had in my head it should be done, I’ll just try to relax and take it slow next time!

In general, it's useful to remember that porn sex is what looks good for the camera, not necessarily what feels good for anyone involved.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
This reviewer compares it to this lube.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Jeb! Repetition posted:

What's this thread's stance on problematic kinks? I've had girls want me to slutshame them, fake-rape them, or abuse them in other ways, and I go along with it but it makes me feel weird. Like is this perpetuating harmful ideas or are these just things they want and can't change and they're not in a real context anyway so I shouldn't worry about them?

I'm going to go back to "Don't do sex things you don't enjoy." But also don't lecture people about the sex things they do enjoy, just tell them you're not into that.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Red Spycrab posted:

Is an 8"er safe? I've been fearing for my vaginal capacity after the boyfriend revealed how well I'm he was endowed.

Luuuuuuuube. All the lube.

Every GYN I have ever seen remarks on how small my vag is for my height (sometimes with a "Good thing you didn't have children, heh heh") and lube is the magic key to comfy sex with big peens.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
You can get electrolysis on your eyebrows, though.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

AutisticAwl posted:

So prom is in a couple of days. My date and I have both never had sex before and we want to do it. We just don’t know where to go or what to do if we even get a place. Any tips or advice?

Scarleteen.com has the info you need.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Defenistrator posted:

Stupid question: if you are taking birth control and take plan B around the 71 hour mark, how safe are you from pregnancy? A pill maybe have been missed by a day in the first week but not sure, but the rest of the month was fairly consistent. Plan B was used the day before the placebo pills started.

So, any given act of intercourse between two fertile people has a 1 in 8 chance of resulting in pregnancy. Missing one pill in a month likely falls under "typical use" of oral birth control, which is estimated at 91% effectiveness. Plan B within 72 hours is 89% effective. You'll likely be fine.

Test no sooner than 14 days after the risk if you want confirmation.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Fixit posted:

Will also try talking about it, playing devils advocate,

Don't play devil's advocate in relationship discussions. Say how you feel and what you want and let her say how she feels and what she wants. Devil's advocate only works in adversarial situations.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Bollock Monkey posted:

I assumed this post was written by the partner of the person whose penis is popping out of condoms.

I, too.

Also, lube.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
The lube that comes on condoms is useless. Use lube.

You can fit a condom over your arm. A cock shouldn't break it unless user error is involved.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Jesus. Ertapenem makes you really, really sick. I'd almost rather keep the gonorrhea.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
One thing that's good in my experience is to talk about things you like and don't like, sex-wise, early in a relationship. It doesn't have to be some weird clinical interrogation, and in fact can even be a sexy, flirty kind of talk.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
I would try a one-off with a sex worker to see if you’re actually both into it first, because it’s just work for her and if one of you backs out, no hard feelings.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Johnny Truant posted:

Is there a recommended place to purchase a Hitachi wand from? If I recall, goons said Amazon was mostly knockoff versions?

NewYorkToyCollective.com sells it, and they’re awesome. Also AdamEve.com, very reliable.

AlbieQuirky fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Mar 15, 2019

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Beard oil for her pleasure, washcloth or disposable wipe thing by the bed if you want to mop down after.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

purple death ray posted:

Fortunately, it's just a matter of practice. If she seems to prefer fingers vs tongue lean into whichever she likes but otherwise just do it a lot and you'll get used to it.

As an aside is there a pithy phrase on the level of "sucking dick" or "eating pussy" for manual stimulation on a vulva? Does it count as fingerbanging if you don't go inside at any time. Asking the hard questions on Friday afternoon.

I think anything sexual you do with fingers and pussy qualifies as a fingerbang.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
The lube on a condom is rarely enough lube, especially for a first time when both partners might be tense.

Coil plus condom is pretty amazing contraception, especially when the condom is used correctly.

Poil, you’re asking all the right questions. Scarleteen.com is a site that has a lot of good articles about sex and contraception, might be worth a look.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Don’t do the goddamned alphabet!

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
I don’t miss :siren: MY GIRLFRIEND :siren: but it’s a reminder of a simpler time.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

ragedx posted:

I wish I could go that long. You are a hero.

Different strokes, I guess. An hour of loving sounds hideous to me.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

hoobajoo posted:

Are we talking about loving as in, just an hour straight of humping, or does that include all sexual activity? Because an hour is like, the minimum time for a satisfying sexual experience for me, from start to finish.

I assumed zaurg was talking about an hour of thrusting from the rest of the comment. An hour of varied carrying on is fun, agreed.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

BirdOfPlay posted:

Forgot to pop in and say thanks to all for the advice. I feel a bit better about the next time we do this, especially because this isn't exactly something I've looked into doing but know that she likes her kink a fair bit.


Well, that's certainly not a concern why would we ever be out in public?
*checks notes, sees EXHIBITIONIST circled and triple underlined*
God damnit


Not actual public! Sex club or play party public only, please!

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Beachcomber posted:

Would you consider upgrading to 'anyone's genitals'?

Please and thank you.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Qubee posted:

No that's literally every circumcised dick.

It’s really not, though.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Some people don’t like long sex sessions. Some people don’t like receiving oral sex. People are allowed not to like things :shrug:

I have zero body or sex shame, but I don’t much like either of those things.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

CommunityEdition posted:

Thanks! She has problems pooping too, so two birds one stone!

Constipation can gently caress up your urethra if you are an XX-chromosomed person with the OEM plumbing. Having frequent UTIs when you have constipation is a thing.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Sounds like you just don’t like penis stuff or butt stuff. That’s a completely valid way to approach sex, if you want to have sex with partners.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Hannibal Rex posted:

You can also wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat.

(Some liquids work better than others.)

Okay, so now I have a towel and napalm in my car :ohdear:

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
*Taormino (for searchability, not to be a spelling goblin)

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AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

MightyJoe36 posted:

Organic coconut oil.

Don’t use it with latex condoms, though! It can lead to breakage.

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