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potentiallycool posted:I know that delayed ejaculation is a side effect of SSRI medication and fixing it is not a simple solution. My previous girlfriend had a very low libido (another issue entirely) and so time between sex was infrequent and I found it easy to orgasm. With my current partner we don't often have sex in the week because of our work schedules and her libido is quite high. Last weekend we had six times which is a lot for me. I was right here a year ago, minus the high libido partner, and weed and butt stuff both helped a lot to reach orgasm. I know that's horrible advice, but it really did help. As for the mismatch in libido, have you tried super stimulating toys like wands? When I run out of steam and my wife wants to keep going, I'll use the biggest, most powerful bastard I have and go at it until she can't take no more. Obviously you want to communicate that she needs to take it down a notch, but that might be a good compromise.
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Apr 1, 2014 23:04
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Buff Baby posted:My boyfriend has trouble cumming in the morning, it leaves him really frustrated whenever he leaves for work. I'm thinking that maybe he just worries too much about finishing in time. He's probably just worried and really distracted by the time limit. Does he just have this problem on work days? At any rate, plenty of couples have sex ajust fter work and do fine, and getting no morning sex is better than getting frustrating morning sex. That said, most guys I've talked to finish fastest by masturbating, so if time gets tight, you could finish with a porno-style facial.
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Apr 10, 2014 00:15
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Buff Baby posted:He normally doesn't have this problem on the weekends, which is why I think it's the time limit affecting him. Sometimes he jacks off into my mouth in the morning because I can't get him to cum orally but that means that I don't get to have that much fun. Yeah, it sounds just like stress / distractions stopping him from getting fully into the moment. I mean, if he can cum from oral/vaginal stimulation that day great, but if not you might have to. . . . take one on the chin!  Plus, just knowing he will get to cum one way or the other will probably help him worry less, which should help right there!
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Apr 10, 2014 00:53
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angry climber posted:I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that? If it's a more technical question, like how to do something safely or where to buy things, that's fine. Just don't talk about it for the sake of talking about how kinky you are. The answer to your question is probably go slow, check in frequently, and use lots of lube. Just playing the odds here.
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Apr 19, 2014 01:20
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mediadave posted:What are people's favourite non-water based lubricants? Primarily for vaginal intercourse. (Condoms aren't an issue, we're exclusive and she's on the pill). JO brand silicone is my favorite, but if you prefer a thinner lube, Pjur is also very good. I'll say I actually prefer water-based lube for ordinary vaginal intercourse (recommending same brands), since then I don't have to worry about toys, and natural vaginal lubrication can take over.
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Apr 27, 2014 19:58
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Vogler posted:Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex. How much porn do you watch? It's a not-uncommon issue that one can have trouble keeping an erection or cumming during sex if they consume a lot of porn, since the visual stimulation isn't there. If you watch it every time you yank it, the good news is, you just need to not watch porn for a week or two, and your brain will recalibrate what stimuli lead to orgasm.
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Apr 30, 2014 17:48
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KillHour posted:The hole is lower than you would first assume. If you keep missing, you're aiming too high (or low, in the case of doggy style). Yup, there's an old trick of teasing by rubbing your dick up and down while secretly figuring out the angle you need, it works great. Play it smooth and use a little lube if need be and it shouldn't be a problem to find the V.
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Apr 30, 2014 22:00
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The Door Frame posted:And the kink thread getting closed by another troll who asked for all the humiliation goons could muster, and then goons not being able to stop feeding the troll and fighting with each other. EDIT: late post, different situation going on. Have you tried finding e-lit or illustrations about what you're talking about, as a means of illustration? hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 21:19 on May 2, 2014 |
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May 2, 2014 21:16
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AlistairCookie posted:Funny. I was actually going to recommend the GF read 50 Shades of Grey, since bodice rippers tend to be popular with women who don't care for actual porn, and lo and behold that website is going chapter by chapter. God love the blogger for slogging through it enough to give a [very funny] breakdown. But, if your [The Door Frame] GF is porn squeamish, those wretched books may spark her BDSM imagination. It is an easy to digest overview on hard/soft limits, equipment, safe words, and even has a kink worksheet. It is that, but the whole thing is entangled with Grey's abusiveness and honestly reads more like psychological horror than sexy time ravishment. The deviant art comic "Sunstone" and the manga "Nana to Kaoru" are much better fictional lead ins, I recommend them both.
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May 3, 2014 04:22
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PlatinumJukebox posted:So, uh, this is probably naive as hell, but... Semen allergy is the wrong word for it, but it's entirely possible there's a chemical in there that triggers a nauseous reaction. If it were an "according to Hoyle" semen allergy, it would affect all skin tissue and mucous membranes and would show at least mild inflammation or redness. My Internet guess just based on that would be they're calling it the wrong thing, but it's real. After all, you should be able to wear a condom and do whatever, so it's not like this is a sneaky ticket out of a sex act. If they give an elaborate reason why (non-latex) condoms won't solve the problem, then the chance it is flim-flam greatly increases in my mind.
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May 4, 2014 04:09
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Old Man Pants posted:It entirely depends on the person. I've been with people who swallow, deepthroat, don't swallow, or say "don't cum on me!". Right, and of course every person has the right to not do any kind of sex act for any reason, and that's good and healthy. I think the issue Jukebox has is if his partner's being honest in their reason for not doing something, and if there really is a medical condition like what he is describing versus someone feeling that they have to have an excuse to say no. Which is not a good outlook to approach sex with.
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May 4, 2014 10:09
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MNSNTZR posted:My boyfriend has recently expressed to me that he wants to be on the receiving end of some anal play. I have had some experience with this before with previous partners, but the effort was clumsy and not really pleasurable for anyone. So I do have some questions about the logistics of it, but they're a little secondary. I went through this a couple years ago when I got into butt stuff, and it's just a bit of growing up I had to do. At the end of the day, I just had accept I like what I like, and that I can do butt-stuff from time to time without it threatening my identity. If it helps him get into it, a lot of what he means (I meant) by "is this gay" is "is this submissive", and you can totally receive a rimjob or finger around back while still being the tough manly dominant. Think of it like oral sex: it's not submissive to be getting head, even though you're the bottom. He can approach anal play with that sort of mindset, and it might ease his worries. I also second him doing it by himself first, to get comfortable with it and find roughly what he likes about it. That'll just make it a lot easier when you add it into the mix. As to the logistics, basically what other people have said: go slow, use lube, and communicate. And poppers, if you want to bring a little extra something, will relax the sphincter without numbing it, and also get you really horny generally.
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May 5, 2014 05:44
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Hydrolith posted:Well, not that there's anything wrong with being gay or bi anyway, nor does being gay preclude a guy from being a big beefy sweaty manly dominant type. Just sayin. Absolutely, but when a guy says "Does butt stuff make me gay", my response isn't going to be "You can be gay, that's fine!" The point is he has some stereotypes about guys that like butt stuff, and the best approach to that is to disprove those stereotypes. I mean it's absurd that you would worry that a pinky round back would have you running out to the bathhouses, and it's also absurd to be afraid of liking more, sexually, than you initially thought. But learning that involves introspection and personal growth, and it's much easier to just side-step the issue altogether. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 07:42 on May 5, 2014 |
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May 5, 2014 06:28
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MNSNTZR posted:I've been told that he's tried a finger himself before but that it "didn't really feel like anything", meaning he doesn't really know what he's doing. He also asked me if he was going to paralyze himself if he did it wrong. And that the need to lube up and go super slow sounded like "a whole to-do." He's... endearingly naive... and it's making things a little difficult to communicate about, as far as his future ventures into self-love go. If there was a way to instruct him without sounding clinical about it, things would go a lot smoother. Fingering myself doesn't really do anything for me either, I don't have quite the flexibility or reach or whatever to get work done. I got started with a small steel vibrator about the size of a finger, and that most definitely got work done with a minimum of fuss. And yeah, anal is a bit of work, and takes a bit more patience than just jerking one out. You do get better at warming up as you go, but it will always be a little bit of a production. It is for sure worth it, though, it really isn't all that much effort. And the paralyzing thing is super hilarious, where did he even get that idea? I kinda disagree with Cliff on the issue of poop; if you have a good diet and are regular, a few small enemas totally takes care of you. Personally I can't relax until I know I will not be dealing with the brown stuff, and if I'm not confident I won't, I don't go for it. I won't say my track record is 100%, but seeing muddy condoms does not have to be anything close to a regular occurrence. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 09:13 on May 5, 2014 |
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May 5, 2014 09:10
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loki k zen posted:Mostly I used it cause I can't think of a better word for 'occasion in which sex things are done up to and including what most people categorize as loving but also other stuff, or just the other stuff, whatever floats your boat' and didn't wanna start another derail on what counts as 'sex'. I like "fooling around".
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May 8, 2014 23:30
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loki k zen posted:Honestly, I do use the word play but it slipped my mind. You must consult the regulations of the State Gaming Commission, as there is no federal standard.
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May 11, 2014 03:55
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zocio posted:Any tips for a guy unable to reach orgasm while doing traditional sex (or as the kids are calling it these days PiV)?, I am only able to with oral and have been frustrated by it lately. An adittional nuisance is that I get very wet during foreplay (read as lots of pre-cum), but it's only a laundry problem of sorts, so goons, time to help!. As always, the answer is butt stuff.
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May 12, 2014 15:54
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sweetbeets posted:I was hoping someone could give me a bit of perspective. Do you have an HMO, or PPO? A lot of doctors act like you need a referral for everything, but a PPO will just let you march in and set an appointment without any prior referral. At any rate, SEARING OVARIAN PAIN sounds like a pretty serious gynecological issue, if he doesn't let you talk to a specialist, talk to a different doctor.
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May 14, 2014 03:50
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TrueChaos posted:So uh... Honest question, anyone have tips for lasting longer? We've recently stopped using condoms (IUD + both tested clean) and it seems to have killed my stamina. We only see each other a few times a week, and while I'm usually good to go again in 20 minutes or so (and have no problem with stamina then) it's frustrating and embarrassing to be done in under a minute. Lots of foreplay involved, and just because I finish doesn't mean things stop for her which helps with the embarrassment bit as she's still getting off. Practice edging and do kegels. That'll give you a good sense of when you're getting close, and you can slow down or switch positions before you pop.
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May 15, 2014 22:22
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zocio posted:Last page I made a couple of questions regarding not cumming and got good answers among them this one: I'd say first and foremost, try it by yourself first. If you know what it's going to feel like and what will make it enjoyable beforehand, it'll be easier and you can give better feedback. As for the act itself, you work up from smaller objects (a finger or small vibe) and once you are relaxed, you increase size until you're where you need to be. Throughout this, make sure to go slow, use lots of lube, and communicate with your lady. Really, as long as you do those three things, it's hard to go wrong.
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May 19, 2014 16:53
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Anyone have any experience with opening up relationships/becoming "monogamish"? My girlfriend and I have been together for close to a year and a half, are currently living together and having issues with different libidos. Hers is a lot lower than mine, and while right now it's not a huge issue, it is starting to cause some conflict. When we talked about it, she asked how I'd feel about opening the relationship up, specifically me potentially finding a gently caress buddy or what have you. I said I wasn't sure how I feel about it, and she said she isn't totally sure how she would, but I'm thinking more that it might be a good idea if done right. Anybody have any tips, experience, advice, etc in this area? I don't have any direct experience, but having seen it before, make sure you are always honestly communicating. However much you talk about the relationship, double it, because that's the only way to make sure you're both happy about it, or how to fix it if one person is unhappy. Also make sure to still set aside a good amount of time to be intimate together, if not always in a sexual way. Basically, if you both work really hard and are honest it could be pretty cool, but takes a lot of honesty and introspection to pull it off.
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May 20, 2014 07:40
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Herv posted:This will pretty much become most relationships (In my opinion). I don't understand it but as someone in their early 40's (yes im yucky and old) this has been my experience and I have been in a lot of them. I don't quite understand, is this you talking about why you have an open relationship, or you rationalizing your cheating?
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May 21, 2014 07:39
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pathetic little tramp posted:What does a man do when his girl's stank stinks? I'm not talking about vagina, I've gotten over that entirely, I can handle any level of that, but I'm talking about the other hole, when you bend her over and the stench just wafes on up and before you know it, I'm limp and we're not working anymore. I mean, it is overpowering like "has not wiped today or showered" kind of overpowering. Um, respect yourself enough to not be with someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to take a goddamned shower? And if she's taking basic hygiene steps and still stinks that bad, she should probably see a doctor. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not exaggerating and it is beyond the normal bodily odors we all have. If it's just a musk or sweat, get over it. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 19:03 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 19:01
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The Duck of Death posted:Does anyone here have experience dealing with crabs? Best brand for treatment, etc? Crabs are literally just lice on your business parts. You handle it in pretty much the same way, except you don't need to call all the people you rubbed your head on when you get lice.
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May 28, 2014 00:52
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Mechafunkzilla posted:Shave your junk anyway, This guy knows what it is. Dick stubble sucks, but you just stay on top of it and it's fine.
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May 28, 2014 17:33
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Double post I know, but gently caress it. I'm going to buy a cock ring later today, is there anything I should know before I do? They seem pretty straightforward, and I'm not getting it for any dong-problems, just for fun and looks, but I dunno. Any experience or weird pitfalls?
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May 28, 2014 22:56
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Ended up getting a 3-pack of inert silicone rings for like, $10, that worked pretty well. They came in the strategically named "Medium, Large, and Extra Large"; I started with the medium, and almost immediately went "Nope nope gently caress that my dick ow ow ow". After a few minutes for recovery, large fit snug and it indeed made my dong noticeably mightier, if a little less sensitive. Extra large fit around my sack too, which I don't know if it made any difference sensation wise, but was fine and again looked impressive. So yeah, pretty cool I guess. Now that I know my size, I might get a nicer one, since the texture on these kinda sucks, but we'll see what the missus thinks. Also, vibrations do stuff for the guy too, just not as much as they do for the gal.
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May 29, 2014 04:44
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neongrey posted:You want an njoy pure plug. No questions. In medium, probably. Pretty much any lube will do, the thing's solid steel and steel doesn't need a whole lot. To add to that, use a silicone lube. Silicone lasts a lot longer than water based, and is more silky feeling. It can't be used with other silicone-type toys, making metal or glass toys preferable. My preferred brand is JO, and they have a formula for butt stuff. hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Jun 4, 2014 |
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Jun 4, 2014 23:34
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Mak0rz posted:We used silicone lube for a while and got frustrated with it because it is drat near impossible to clean... It's never been a big problem for me, at least for butt plugs and the like, since you can use less of it to the same effect so it doesn't get everywhere. I've heard sex toy cleaners work well on silicone stains.
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Jun 5, 2014 00:18
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Techno Remix posted:That sounds good, thank you everyone. I guess I've just seen that video of the guy breaking the glass in his rear end one too many times (that is, once). Yeah, just go with actual made-for-sex glass products and not random bottles and you'll be plenty safe.
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Jun 5, 2014 04:12
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JustinMorgan posted:What's the best way to ask a guy if they have had an std test, without sounding like you're implying they are covered in diseases? "Hey, when was the last time you got an STD test?" Given how a lot of STDs can be asymptomatic for months or years, and a clean bill of dick health can lead to less condom use, most guys won't take any offense to the question.
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Jun 8, 2014 03:31
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Geoj posted:Not everyone is poly or involved in casual relationships...? Not everyone has been monogamous for many years, either. There are many situations where a clean bill of dick health is a reasonable thing to ask for and not rude at all. Any sexually active person can have an STD, even people who aren't "loving a bunch of whores" prior to meeting you. Maybe that person just hosed one other person, but they got gonorrhea, and aren't showing symptoms. Totally normal.
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Jun 10, 2014 04:21
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the last s0n posted:I'm wanting to play around with self-butt stuff, but I have very short arms and have a difficult time knocking on the cellar door without having to contort into some really uncomfortable positions, if you know what I mean. I'm wondering if anyone has a line on an anal toy with a long U-shaped handle or similar that might give me some extra reach. I got a metal vibrator about the dimensions of a finger, it worked great for beginner butt stuff. You can get them either straight or curved at the end, with the battery case providing a natural obstacle to prevent butt absorption. You can find these simple vibrators for around $20 or less at any "adult novelty retailer".
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Jun 11, 2014 01:59
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Artificer posted:I've talked to my girlfriend about this before and she is okay with the idea. Basically we're both in our first relationship ever so everything has been new to us, and I am considering getting her a toy of some sort as a surprise gift to use alone or when we're having sex. Hitachi is a classic, though a mighty powerful vibrator; if she's especially sensitive and doesn't already have one, maybe try a rabbit vibrator first. Is there any particular kink or thing she's generally interested in?
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Jun 15, 2014 09:10
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Artificer posted:Uhhmm. Hm. A rabbit might be a better starter then, if a Hitachi is very powerful. If she's keen on self-bondage, I'd recommend some bondage tape. Hell, I'd recommend bondage tape is general; it's a lot of fun, easier to use than rope, and safer for beginners.
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Jun 15, 2014 17:26
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LeJackal posted:Velcro straps aren't as sensual and nice as good ropes or fancy leather, but that stuff is inexpensive and flexible. Just remember to also get some safety equipment like trauma shears and play safe! You can always try again if you 'ruin' a scene by being over-cautious, but you can't if you injure or kill somebody. Bondage tape is extremely cheap, comfortable, and can be cut with the safety scissors first graders get for arts and crafts. I agree the velcro straps are safer than rope for beginners, but I don't see how it beats bondage tape for safety and flexibility.
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Jun 15, 2014 18:14
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LeJackal posted:Its a good thing I never said it did, then. Then I'm not sure why you quoted me rather than the poster asking for advice.
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Jun 15, 2014 18:22
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Donald Kimball posted:Maybe a signal that our relationship isn't very healthy, but is it normal for me to look at other women and think about having sex with them? I love and I love having sex with my current girlfriend of 5 years, but my eyes wander a lot, and I wonder if the grass isn't greener. We're both interested in swinging in the future, but I'm still troubled by my behavior. It's very normal to see an attractive person and get aroused, regardless if you're in a relationship; that doesn't mean you don't love your girlfriend or will cheat on her, it just means she isn't the single and only person on Planet Earth you find attractive. I mean, if you are having elaborate cheating fantasies where you masturbate to craigslist casual encounter listings, THAT is probably a red flag. Just being attracted to other people is normal, and doesn't diminish your love or commitment to your girlfriend.
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Jun 18, 2014 04:07
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lol internet. posted:Any recommendations for a water based lube? Only used for vaginal/penis intercourse. Pjur is really good for PiV, very slick. Astroglide is a decent budget option. Just drink more water, the skin should take care of itself. If it really bugs you, a normal lotion for skin will work just as well as on normal dry skin.
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Jun 19, 2014 03:13
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MoosetheMooche posted:Thanks for the suggestion! While we're on the topic, I generally use coconut oil as lube for vaginal sex. Would it be as appropriate for Anal or should I spring for something else? Spring for proper butt lube. The butt does not self-lubricate like the vagina, and you'll want something with a thicker consistency than oil. I recommend JO water-based, it is more viscous and lasts longer than any other water based lube I've tried, and since it's water, it's safe for use with all toys. "Lube" lube is a lot nicer than anything not made for sex, and it's not crazy expensive or anything, so I'd absolutely recommend it. http://www.amazon.com/JO-4-5-Anal-H2O-Lubricant/dp/B00GIXHC86/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1403415481&sr=8-5&keywords=jo+lube+h2o hoobajoo fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 22, 2014 06:42
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