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There's a vasectomy megathread where you might have better luck and maybe some guys who have been through this. It's just fallen off the first page but I doubt anyone would mind you giving it a bump. I don't know of a way to say it that doesn't sound kind of dismissive, but to me it seems like you're both kind of freaking yourself out over this. Like you said, there could be a lot of factors at play like the fact that everything is still healing from recent surgery down there and the frequent masturbation. There's probably still some swelling, inflammation, etc. that might not be obvious to naked eye but could be affecting how everything is functioning right now. And honestly, if you're both doing Google searches for complications and apparently analyzing the quality of his orgasms/loads in detail the way you posted, anxiety may also be a factor here. I'll be honest and say I don't really have any experience with vasectomies personally, but in general I think you should give it time to see if it improves and if it doesn't seem to be, then bring it up at the check-up. Also difficult as it might be, try to relax to see if maybe that helps too.
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Jul 31, 2014 05:42
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solovyov posted:These are a few days old, but as a person of powerful gag reflex I just have to say -- drat, goons. This is so comically backwards. The gagging sound is from gagging, because you've got a dick in your mouth and it's triggering the gag reflex. It's not like exaggerated moaning during intercourse. If the lady reports that she loves giving blow jobs and she's regularly gagging during them, then I'd like to allow for the possibility that she just really wants more of that dick in her mouth than her gag reflex would prefer -- that she's fighting her gag reflex for her pleasure, not intentionally triggering it to imitate porn. (Which doesn't mean he's wrong to want her to stop doing it because the choking sound grosses him out, just that you two cracked me up with your certainty that this was some artificial porn inspired thing rather than a normal naturally occurring problem.) Except that it is a "thing" in porn and gagging doesn't usually sound anything like that (speaking as someone who also has a pretty strong gag reflex).
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Aug 2, 2014 18:09
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hoobajoo posted:It works basically how it sounds, a word for good, a word for pause/slow, and a word for stop. I'll say there's no reason not to just say "No stop ow" as a safeword, all else being equal, and make sure to have a non-verbal safeword, like clapping, as backup. The only problem I could see with that is if it's not clear beforehand that saying "no, stop" is actually a safe word meaning actually stop and not something that's being done as some verbal part of the scene. So definitely make sure of that.
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Aug 10, 2014 22:22
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betaraywil posted:So as a head's up for everyone who buys from Adam and Eve, I went back to my parents' for a nice dinner and happened to catch the mail, which had a big ol' indiscreet mailer for their $125 screaming gently caress deal. That's not ever an address I've had them mail to, so I have to assume that they got it as a billing address for a credit card I used several years ago. I got something like that from Good Vibrations once (not as big a deal since it was my own PO box). Just because they've got the discreet packaging thing down doesn't mean a company has figured out that maybe sending out catalogs with dildos and vibrators on the cover isn't something everyone's cool with.
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Aug 26, 2014 01:06
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Yeah it helps to remember that a person can be enjoying sex without making a lot of (or any) noise or necessarily always having some crazy screaming orgasm. Not that you shouldn't put effort into her pleasure, just don't assume that it's bad sex because it doesn't sound like you're filming porn in your bedroom. As for your other question, it is entirely possible that she doesn't know. Girls/women are often discouraged pretty strongly from "touching themselves," exploring their bodies or sexuality at all. Plus sometimes it's not as straightforward or obvious as masturbation usually is for dudes. Kimmalah fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Aug 27, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 19:37
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Basebf555 posted:I'm pretty sure "black out drunk" was just being used as casual slang for "drunker than usual" there. As in, he will probably be passed out within the hour so we better get this going ASAP. That's still way too loving drunk to be consenting to anything but whatever.
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Aug 29, 2014 18:00
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FISHMANPET posted:I'm not sure that's true, my wife says that doggy is deeper for her and I'm basically dick punching her uterus. Though she has a weird tipped uterus so my experience may not be typical. That's usually been my experience too.
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Sep 3, 2014 19:22
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Old Man Pants posted:What the gently caress is this The first sentence was good advice and then it kind of devolved into weirdness.
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Sep 4, 2014 18:15
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hoobajoo posted:You probably want a non-desensitizing water based lube that's meant for anal, since those will be thicker and longer lasting. I've had good experience with JO as a brand. One thing that's worked for me when I am warming up the V is to make her full-on cum at least once, it'll get endorphins moving and relax her muscles. I'll say I don't think you're ever going to totally eliminate post-coitus aches, but it definitely shouldn't be painful during the act. My wife says that after we do large insertions, there's a pleasant soreness, like after exercising. That and women shove babies out of there. But yeah, lots of lube and warming up should help. If you're just lubing it and jamming your dick in there right off, of course it's not going to go well.
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Sep 4, 2014 20:35
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Anne Whateley posted:"Women have babies" is super common, but it's still the dumbest argument. If you're having a baby, you've just had nine months for the entire structure of your pelvis to change. Pregnancy hormones cause ligaments to stretch and bones to move. A guy with a big dick is not going to accomplish any of that in fifteen minutes. And of course giving birth often requires a cut or causes awful tears. There's a reason most women aren't shoving watermelons in and out for fun. Then I guess it's a good thing that nobody's dick is big enough to require bones and ligaments to shift, but thanks for the unnecessary rant. All I was getting at is that there's no such thing as "it's just impossible for you to have sex with anyone" which is basically what some of the posters above me were saying.
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Sep 4, 2014 23:25
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neongrey posted:Well, glad to help-- I know that knowing clit stimulation is often mandatory isn't quite the same as feeling it, so if it took a silly analogy about sandwiches to help, then, hooray. A more direct analogy would be like expecting a guy to orgasm without him or his partner ever actually touching his penis in any way, since the two body parts are analogous to each other.
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Sep 29, 2014 01:45
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The Door Frame posted:The clitoris is significantly larger and has more sensitive area than we're taught, it's actually wishbone shaped and mostly under the surface of the skin. Yeah either way I was trying to put it in terms that might make it clearer that (for a lot of women at least) the clitoris isn't really an "optional" part of sex when it comes to having orgasms. Also just speaking as someone who does the same thing a lot of the time, although I could see why someone might think it's just like masturbation it's really a very different experience altogether having a partner around.
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Sep 29, 2014 13:10
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SammyWhereAreYou posted:This can probably clear up a lot of confusion for a lot of dudes, so lemme get this on the record: Pretty much what I was getting at but better said. 
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Sep 29, 2014 23:15
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FISHMANPET posted:Is there any reason why a doctor would normally screen for that? She just had an IUD put in a few weeks ago and I'd think if the symptoms are that obvious the doctor would say something, right? Though maybe since it's only when she's aroused, the doctor wouldn't detect it? Yeah, a fishy smell and lots of discharge are generally hallmarks of bacterial vaginosis. Also BV is NOT the same thing as a yeast infection, although it is possible to have both at the same time or have recurring bouts of one or the other from their respective treatments (BV is treated with antibiotics, antibiotics can cause yeast infections and on and on) Since it's not actually an infection in most technical sense (just a serious overgrowth of normal bacteria), doesn't really cause health problems unless you're pregnant and it's not an STD, it's not always something they're going to screen for and it's not necessarily visually obvious on exam. With an IUD placement for instance, they're mainly looking for chlamydia and gonorrhea since those are big problems when inserting one. I think sometimes it'll show up on a pap smear if they know to specifically check for it, but I don't know if it's always something that's looked for and paps are usually only done once every 1-2 years anyway. It's not a huge ordeal, just go into the doctor/clinic/whatever and they'll do a microscopic slide. Takes a few minutes to know for sure or not.
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Nov 5, 2014 17:45
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bobula posted:My mucus when I'm turned on is white and pretty viscous. The one time I had a yeast infection (and didn't know it) my boyfriend tried to eat me out and almost turned green before informing me he couldn't handle it, at which point I figured out something was wrong. So maybe just tell your wife and it'll get figured out. I dealt with it once and it's not just when you're turned on but pretty much a constant crazy amount of fluid. Which would probably be easy to write off if you didn't have any other symptoms (and most of the time you won't) since some is normal and varies with hormones, hydration, etc. And of course a lot of people still think the "it smells like fish!"  thing is normal.
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Nov 5, 2014 17:54
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sweetbeets posted:Greek yogurt might help a bit, but it doesn't contain the type of bacteria that is specific to that area of the body. If its a constant issue of course adding some probiotic foods to the diet are helpful, but it could be a case of BV or something that might require dietary changes + a specific probiotic supplement. Another (admittedly much rarer problem) is actually going overboard on things like probiotics/PH balancing stuff and getting an overgrowth of the good bacteria - called cytolytic vaginitis. Which can cause all kinds of problems of its own and tends to get misdiagnosed or overlooked.
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Nov 8, 2014 07:40
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EB Nulshit posted:This is what I was thinking. There's nothing wrong with using hands for stimulating your partner and most people aren't going to be put off by it. The comedy bit you're talking about was talking about a pity handjob in a failing marriage being sad (because it was done out of pity in a weird/depressing location) rather than saying "using your hands makes sex depressing." I mean if you want to do oral, that's fine. But if a person needs other stimulation to get off it's not like that's your only option.
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Nov 9, 2014 03:29
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LingcodKilla posted:I always thought using hands first allowed you to basically check out hygiene first before committing your face to it with some random dude or skeezy. You can do that or you could just use your hands only for foreplay/whatever and still have plenty of fun. 
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Nov 9, 2014 03:43
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Nierbo posted:If he can build muscle reasonably easily (seems like he can from your comment about abs) and isn't fatigued abnormal amounts then its unlikely he has low test. But he can always go in and tell the doc he has a low sex drive and get the test done at minimal cost. Problem is testosterone blood tests have to be done a certain way (mostly at a particular time of day) and usually multiple times in order to give an accurate idea of what a person's levels are like, which a GP may or may not know to do. "Low T" has also become something of a fad recently and a lot of people are being misdiagnosed based on bad testing. Grump posted:Recently, I was having casual sex with a girl I met for about a month. Thing is, I never used a condom as she was on birth control. Now, I'm with a new girl, and I can't have a condom on for more than 5 seconds without going soft. Over a span of two nights, I went through about 7 condoms trying to have sex, but eventually she just let me have completely unprotected sex with her (which was admittedly stupid, though I obviously pulled out), but I really don't want to continue doing that, and I'm not about to harass her to get on the pill. I've heard putting a drop of lube inside the condom can help. It might also help to try masturbating with a condom on to get yourself used to the feeling again.
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Nov 11, 2014 06:08
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hoobajoo posted:Romance, is I think what you're looking for. It's really going to depend on the person though. From what I've seen, people who consider themselves asexual are very particular about what they want and don't want. So some will be into the usual romantic stuff, some won't. Some will like stuff like cuddling, massages, or even some sexual things, some won't. The minutiae of it can get pretty mind-boggling sometimes.
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Dec 11, 2014 11:36
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keyvin posted:I've always been in a relationship, but I've always been more into porn and my own fantasies. When I had sex, it was to please my partner. How pleasing could it possibly be to know that your partner is kind of soft during sex with you though. During sex I have had to focus on fantasies and strain to cum. I decided I wanted to fix it. I came clean to my partner, I apologized, and I told her the depth of my kink. It wasn't a complete surprise because I told her I had it early on in our relationship. She didn't ask any questions about it so I thought she just didn't want to know. You know it's not unusual or wrong to fantasize about things other than your partner during sex. Part of your problem might just be that you're putting so much pressure on yourself to do everything the "correct" way instead of just going along with whatever turns you on in the moment.
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Dec 22, 2014 17:46
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There was recently a thread about this in the Goon Doctor, though I don't know how helpful it will be.
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Jan 10, 2015 21:45
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Grumpwagon posted:Based on what he's saying about probably getting it despite barriers and medication, and also talk about "outbreaks" it's probably herpes. The vaccine is good to have in general, but it isn't really going to do anything for this situation since HPV and herpes are completely different things. Which you seem to know going from your post, but I just see this confusion come up a lot.
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Jan 11, 2015 01:36
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hoobajoo posted:Really? I'd want any sores to be where other people can't see them, dick or otherwise. On the other hand, cold sores are so common that people don't usually make a big thing out of it when you have one like they do if they find out you have genital herpes.
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Jan 11, 2015 16:35
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Never incorporated a grapefruit before, but otherwise I can vouch for that technique bobula. 
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Jan 22, 2015 10:54
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bobula posted:What does this mean I doubt they mean for you to actually use a grapefruit, I think that's mostly intended to get the motion down which is the important part.
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Jan 25, 2015 17:57
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FactsAreUseless posted:Actually, no. The grapefruit is essential. Maybe it you really really want to get a yeast infection if you decide to do anything else.
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Jan 25, 2015 19:08
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IronicDongz posted:It's more accurate to say that it's often not their favorite thing, because most women cannot cum from PiV. That's true, but it is possible to enjoy sexual things that don't lead directly to an orgasm. Or at least be into it enough that you aren't going to lay there messing with your phone for entertainment, which is really hosed up and depressing.
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Feb 6, 2015 11:04
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Drink and Fight posted:Your wipes are probably causing the issue in the first place. Leave your junk alone and don't clean yourself with anything but water and you'll probably be fine. Yeah I don't really understand the desperate need for special wipes throughout the day? Most of the time it's completely unnecessary and if you really have to, something like a damp washcloth or rinsing off with a little water will usually do just fine. Also judging from your original post, using stuff like diluted shampoo on your junk is more of problem than carbohydrates or peeing after sex (which, as someone who has dealt with it before, have nothing to do with BV).
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Mar 28, 2015 18:57
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EB Nulshit posted:No. I tried to get tested in college and they turned me away because I was a virgin. I tried to get tested this morning and they told me they were only doing HIV testing and that I have to come back later in the week for everything else. Most people don't get cold sores from any kind of sexual activity, it's usually from stuff like your parents kissing you on the face or drinking out of the same glass or something. Most people are exposed to it in childhood (including you most likely). Not everyone who's infected gets the outbreaks. As for testing, I have never ever gotten any kind of hard copy results for an STI test. Basically the way it works (at the place I go to anyway) is "no news is good news." The only time they would notify me was if something was wrong so if I hear nothing then everything was normal.
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Aug 23, 2015 12:23
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Hydrolith posted:A quick google says you're correct, but that there is a vaccine you can get if you're worried. The vaccine however only protects against the strains of HPV that most commonly cause certain cancers, there are still plenty you can get even while vaccinated. But most people have some strain of HPV if they've ever say, had contact with other humans.
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Aug 26, 2015 15:34
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Gounads posted:My wife notices it after a single glass later the same day. Any acidic juice should work, I drink orange juice. Even fruit flavored soda will do it.
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Sep 1, 2015 21:03
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Shine posted:Just take the goddamn compliment about your goddamn junk you goddamn goons. He's already put way more obsessive thought into penis size/appearance than most straight women ever have or will.
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Sep 3, 2015 11:19
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