Bar Rescue S4: We're gonna need a bigger butt funnel

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Bar Rescue S4: We're gonna need a bigger butt funnel

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

Why is only the first season of this show on Netflix?

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 05:15

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# ¿ May 18, 2024 01:12

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

blakout posted:

The rest of the seasons are free on spikes website.

Which I can't watch on my xbox. :mad:

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 05:30

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

Wait, Piratz is still open?

# ¿ Nov 8, 2014 17:36

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

CVagts posted:

I'm getting sick of the whole "owner is an rear end in a top hat jerk right after the stress test but has done a complete mental and emotional 180 the next morning" trope this show is taking.

Welcome to being a Kitchen Nightmares fan. :smith:

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 06:52

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

Well, I'm back. Actually, I never left; I've been lurking in this thread for years. I had hoped that the day would come when Bar Rescue wouldn't be renewed for a new season, and I could piss on its grave while rejoicing in the survival of Piratz Tavern, but obviously that's never to be.

What you have to understand is that Piratz Tavern wasn't just another watering hole. It really was a second home for an amazingly diverse clientele. In addition to the expected assortment of reenactors and Ren Faire types, the regulars included military, bikers, professionals, clergy... just about everyone you could imagine. They've all lost something they cared about.

Did it have its flaws? Of course it did. In some ways it was mismanaged. In some ways it was very mismanaged. The interior layout was weird; it was long and narrow and hard to navigate when crowded. The location wasn't all that great, either; that block doesn't get a lot of non-local traffic, and there's a fancy pedestrian mall just a few blocks away that draws the tourists. Piratz Tavern could have been great there, although I'm sure the rents are astronomical. (And just to restate, yes, the much-lauded "office buildings" are literally parking garages.) But that's all old news.

I'm not even mad at Jon Taffer anymore. He's nothing but a lickspittle toady, doing the bidding of his parasitic masters at Spike: Renfield to their Dracula. He came in like a hurricane and wrecked the place, but Piratz Tavern rebuilt and came back even stronger than before. They could have put the whole debacle behind them if it hadn't been for Taffer's fans harassing the staff every time the episode aired, making prank phone calls, leaving phony online reviews, abusing the employees on social media, making literal death threats. If you want to see the dregs of humanity in action, go take a look at the Piratz Tavern and Bar Rescue Facebook pages.

As for me, I didn't spend quite as much time at Piratz Tavern as some did, rarely making it down there more than a few times a month, but it was directly responsible for my making some of the finest friends I've ever known, and it's spawned indelible memories, both for good and for bad. I was there for holidays, birthdays, graduations, baby showers and wakes. We'll carry on, as we pirates do, and maybe we'll find a new bar to call home, but there will never be another place quite like Piratz Tavern.

I'm not asking for your sympathy. All I ask is that you take a moment to appreciate the people and places you care about, because they won't be around forever. As the song says, "Let us drink and be merry, all grief to refrain / For this company might never all meet here again."

You were awfully loving invested in a bar, duder.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 12:25

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

I hope that someday you find a bar worth becoming that invested in.

No bar you don't own is worth being emotionally invested in.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 13:20

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

SocketWrench posted:

I still wanna know how you go in a million loving dollar debt. I mean jesus, how the gently caress could you get anything with your credit so hosed.
Better yet how you can go that far in debt and decide your main means of income would be better served as your personal hangout that earns you nothing.

The real question is who sees a bar-owner 800 grand in the hole and says "I will loan this person 100 thousand dollars, this seems like a good plan."

# ¿ Apr 16, 2015 17:34

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

Taste the Rainbugh posted:

Also isn't the rear end tunnel a big fire hazard?

Not if everyone is travelling through it in the same direction.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2015 04:38

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# ¿ May 18, 2024 01:12

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

The logic could have been "if the relaunch is even tangentially similar to a pirate theme, they'll eventually slip back into their old ways", or "if the relaunch is even tangentially similar to a pirate theme, everyone in the area will assume it's still the same poo poo with a different name".

Or it could have just been a legit misfire on Taffer's part. Somebody a while back suggested that the "corporate" theme could have worked if the idea had been to subvert the theme, like, a more after-hours office workers cutting loose kind of concept. I think it's still not great, since nobody except Patrick Bateman types thinks of themselves as corporate, but it might have made the pirate dipshits more amenable to the relaunch.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2015 12:55

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Bar Rescue S4: We're gonna need a bigger butt funnel