Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


LanceBurrito posted:

http://youtu.be/RjHpnoCag-g

Kane never had a 5 star match, huh?

(JR losing his mind makes the match)
I knew before I clicked this would be the Kane/Show chain wrestling match.

I really, really want to know the story behind this. Did Vince decide for a second that everyone should wrestle like Eddie Guerrero, change his mind 15 minutes later but the agent for this match didn't get the revision? Or did Kane and Show decide to go crazy? The way they smile at each other halfway through makes me think they *know* they can't actually wrestle the match they're trying to have, and give exactly 0 shits about it.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009

LanceBurrito posted:

http://youtu.be/RjHpnoCag-g

Kane never had a 5 star match, huh?

(JR losing his mind makes the match)

As I posted earlier he does have a background in a Catch-As-Catch-Can based style that he worked in Japan. I'm sad that WWE isn't likely to let him and Bryan trade leg locks and rides that would be dope.

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
Kane is cool and I kind of enjoy corporate Kane

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Tharizdun posted:

I knew before I clicked this would be the Kane/Show chain wrestling match.

I really, really want to know the story behind this. Did Vince decide for a second that everyone should wrestle like Eddie Guerrero, change his mind 15 minutes later but the agent for this match didn't get the revision? Or did Kane and Show decide to go crazy? The way they smile at each other halfway through makes me think they *know* they can't actually wrestle the match they're trying to have, and give exactly 0 shits about it.

I saw it as part of the story. The whole thing was that Kane was going crazy from May 19th and his tag partner/best friend Big Show was all, "Come on, buddy. Chill out." They were forced into that match and Big Show did the mat wrestling as a way to keep it friendly and fun with Kane rather than turn it into a blood feud.

That was a fun tag team. Probably their finest moment was when they were feuding with I think Cade and Murdock. Kane was attacked by both of them, shoved into a room and they put something over the door. Maybe they parked a vehicle, I forget. Big Show ran over and tried his hardest to slowly push the thing out of the way while dramatically screaming to Kane that he'd save him. Then Kane walks out into the hallway and sees Big Show straining to move the obstacle.

"What are you doing?"

"I... how did you get out of there?!"

"There was another door in that room."

"Another door?! GOD those guys are idiots!"

"Yeah."

Two Beans
Nov 27, 2003

dabbin' on em
Pillbug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0m90arz9bqo

Speedboat Jones
Dec 28, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

God Of Paradise posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=k3jJMyRPNak#t=65

A DWARF!?

Kicks dwarf.

Best Kane moment.

But I feel the Miz has him beat. The Miz shot that dwarf in the dick with a t-shirt gun. Miz wins.

That's essentially the only reason I watch WWE. The abuse of little people keeps my teeth white.

Start a new character for Kane that makes him a rapper and change his name to 2 Kanez.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7QleHnLjFo

Angular Landbury
Oct 24, 2011

MAGGLE.
What the hell was the Imposter Kane angle supposed to be building to?

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Angular Landbury posted:

What the hell was the Imposter Kane angle supposed to be building to?

The reveal of Festus as his Freakin Deacon gimmick I think.

laz0rbeak
Oct 9, 2011
"Classic" Kane is really one of the crowning achievements of :russo: in WWF. If you go back and watch Kane's babyface run in '99, it's crazy how over they got him in such a short period of time. In early '97 he was still going around pretending to be Diesel on house shows.

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

To A Brand New Galaxy

Bigass Moth posted:

Undertaker
Wrestling Observer Newsletter

5 Star Match (1997) vs. Shawn Michaels in a Hell in a Cell at Badd Blood.
Should have seen that coming. Though I, for no particular reason, never really think of Undertaker as being the same kind of huge monster big guy like Kane is. I know he's for all intents and purposes the same size, but I've always placed Undertaker more with the Triple H/Batista/Lesnar kind of big guy rather than the Kane/Big Show/Nash type. Maybe because he can actually run.

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe
Am i wrong, or has the best Kane moment ever not been posted?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21zon_dx-the-radicalz-vs-cactus-jack-the_sport

DX and the Radicalz vs the Rock, Cactus Jack and 2 Cool, with Kane showing up midway through.

It's the best schmozz ever that didn't involve ECW.

Edit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40hmzeYajrs

Better version.

rotinaj fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Mar 10, 2014

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


laz0rbeak posted:

"Classic" Kane is really one of the crowning achievements of :russo: in WWF. If you go back and watch Kane's babyface run in '99, it's crazy how over they got him in such a short period of time. In early '97 he was still going around pretending to be Diesel on house shows.

I believe Cornette took credit for the initial Kane angle. Russo didn't seem to care about it, so he was hands off.

Desumaytah
Apr 23, 2005

Intensity, .mpeg gritty, Intelligence

Gavok posted:

Here's Kane having a cool match with Kurt Angle. Despite wearing a mask, Kane sells the ankle lock like a loving champ.

I paused this video to watch something else and now I have a new avatar.



Kane is one of my all-time favorites. Obviously he's not a good wrestler, but he's just so...wrestling that I can't help but love him. I ate that first Undertaker feud up. It was the most compelling poo poo in my young life. In those old, Pre-Smackdown PS1 wrestling games, all of my create-a-wrestlers were basically just Kane palette swaps.

Kane rules.

Speedboat Jones
Dec 28, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
I was really wanting a lime green Kane when he started buddying up with X-Pac.

PunkBoy
Aug 22, 2008

You wanna get through this?

rotinaj posted:

Am i wrong, or has the best Kane moment ever not been posted?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21zon_dx-the-radicalz-vs-cactus-jack-the_sport

DX and the Radicalz vs the Rock, Cactus Jack and 2 Cool, with Kane showing up midway through.

It's the best schmozz ever that didn't involve ECW.

Edit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40hmzeYajrs

Better version.

I posted that on the last page! Still worth posting again.

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe

PunkBoy posted:

I posted that on the last page! Still worth posting again.

That's what I get for only Ctrl+f searching "Radicalz" instead of rereading the thread.

But yes, that match should be on every page of every thread in the Wrestling side of PSP. (I really like that match :shobon:)

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
Kane is awesome and there will always be a need for the big scary dude who is a genuine threat but also beatable if they want someone to look tough, gently caress all Kane haters

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
:bahgawd: BAH GAWD HE'S VOTING FOR RON PAUL! DON'T DO IT, KANE!

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

TNA loves Kane so much that their rip off has somehow ripped him off even more.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Animal-Mother posted:

:bahgawd: BAH GAWD HE'S VOTING FOR RON PAUL! DON'T DO IT, KANE!

DON'T DO IT THINK OF YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOUR FANS OH MY GOD :bahgawd:

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Kane's movie was initially supposed to be called "Eye Scream Man"

And it was directed by a former XXX Gonzo porn director.

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
Anyone who was forced to put through the whole period of Katie Vick through feuding with Snitsky for aborting his child and STILL manages to be popular and successful for a decade afterward deserves an enormous amount of respect.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Shiki Dan posted:

Anyone who was forced to put through the whole period of Katie Vick through feuding with Snitsky for aborting his child and STILL manages to be popular and successful for a decade afterward deserves an enormous amount of respect.

The Snitsky feud wasn't his fault, though! Also, I need to rewatch my signed copy of "The Very Best of Gene Snisky[sic]" from his indy days as one of the Twin Tacklers. Mostly because it is, unironically, called "The Very Best of Gene Snisky"

Delsaber
Oct 1, 2013

This may or may not be correct.

Speedboat Jones posted:

I was really wanting a lime green Kane when he started buddying up with X-Pac.

But then he'd just be the Energy Drink Machine or whatever.

Sold.

Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009

Tharizdun posted:

The Snitsky feud wasn't his fault, though! Also, I need to rewatch my signed copy of "The Very Best of Gene Snisky[sic]" from his indy days as one of the Twin Tacklers. Mostly because it is, unironically, called "The Very Best of Gene Snisky"

I was not aware before now that Gene Snitsky was his real name.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Sprecherscrow posted:

I was not aware before now that Gene Snitsky was his real name.

His real name is Snisky, not Snitsky. It's from the Dave "Dave Batista" Bautista school of wrestlenames.

Angular Landbury
Oct 24, 2011

MAGGLE.

Tharizdun posted:

His real name is Snisky, not Snitsky. It's from the Dave "Dave Batista" Bautista school of wrestlenames.

Why is it that they just kinda altered people's names or just let them use their own back then, but nowadays everyone's gotta have a weird noise for a first name like Bray, Bo or Barf?

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Speedboat Jones posted:

I was really wanting a lime green Kane when he started buddying up with X-Pac.

I swear to god that Kane had a green and black attire that he used once and never again, but I have no idea where or when.

Blueheim
Dec 2, 2006
Zelda Junkie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAAlSLnsXBw I absolutly adore this promo and it is my #1 Kane promo. 10 minutes of Kane explaining the past twenty years of his plan to defeat the undertaker.

It pairs up well with the flow chart in the first page. We really should update it.

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

Angular Landbury posted:

Why is it that they just kinda altered people's names or just let them use their own back then, but nowadays everyone's gotta have a weird noise for a first name like Bray, Bo or Barf?

They want to control the rights to their wrestlers' gimmicks and names.

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007



Holy poo poo this is amazing. Big Show's little toot at :46 as Kane is mean mugging him :lol:

bobkatt013
Oct 8, 2006

You’re telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?
All true Kane fans need to read this
http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Into-...ywords=kane+wwe

Luchadork
Feb 18, 2010

Take a look at the masked man
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
Chris Benoit killed his family
Kane is cool and he was involved in the best feud of all time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ7S7NmytGk

Black Is Black
Jan 6, 2007


Whoa whoa whoa, isn't that writer the same guy as Ryder's buddy?

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

quote:

Having read Samuel Adams by McCulloch, Colin Powell's autobiography, and a terrific read about the life of Jefferson Davis, I truly believed that I had seen and read the pinnacle of the craft of biographical writing. I believed that never again could a life be written about so vividly that I truly, deeply, and profoundly believed that I was, in fact, the subject of the tome.

I felt that...until I read the Unauthorized History of Kane. With this amazing piece of work, a book that is highly unlikely to be rewarded with its Pulitzer Prize it warrants; and is even less likely to be made into a movie as it so fervently deserves, I have seen the apex of writing. There was a time when I felt 1984 by George Orwell was the best book I'd ever read. I was a naive fool. I have, in fact, cut myself repeatedly to atone for my previous naivete. If a word here and there is misspelled, I do apologize, but the lack of blood is making me woozy and the only thing keeping me going is my love of this outstanding tome.

Having tried to follow the story on TV, I will freely admit that I, initially, believed that the storyline of Kane was written by a group of ADD-suffering chimpanzees with a serious meth habit. I truly believed that without serious head trauma, combined with a lobotomy and some really good moonshine, one could not wrap one's mind around this enigma that is the character of Kane.

How wrong I was. Those monkies were suffering from something --- but that something was GENIUS! They were taking something --- they were taking brain pills. Yes, this is the most misunderstood work of literature --- art, to be more precise --- I've ever laid eyes upon. It explains the story of Kane is language so clear, so precise, so razor-sharp that even a person who can't READ English would fully understand it, overthrow the government in their home country, and make a government that is so close to the U.S.A that they are in serious consideration to become the 51st state. It's imagery is so vivid that it can make the blind man see.

It's just that darned good. And I'm not one to gush over a mediocre piece of work. No sir.

Kane's amazing grasp of medical terminology as a brutally young age helps explain why his promos on TV are so bad --- he has to dummy up his language so much so us laypeople can comprehend it that he has difficulty effectively expressing himself. Who realized that this man's near-total inability to feel pain was caused by a curse and not, say, poor selling ability? I felt that Kane was just a sub-par wrestler --- but now, I see he is a modern-day Wolverine.

Only MUCH cooler.

And Katie Vick? I must admit, that when I saw it on RAW, it made me weep. I thought it was a beautiful piece of writing that has not been matched since the heyday of "Blossom". With this book's dramatic re-telling of the story, you get all of the emotion in its purest form. True, you DON'T get Hunter humping a mannequin in a coffin, but that is what happy memories are there for...to fill in the blanks.

It is tragic that movies like Friday the 13th could borrow so liberally from the life story of Kane. It's criminal that somebody who has suffered so greatly cannot become rich due to a series of increasingly atrocious movies. Dear God, where is the fairness? Where is it, I ask?

If you can overlook the sin that Kane has not been given a Peace Prize and that this book is unlikely to win a Pulitzer, you might finally have a reason to practice literacy once again. I can only blame the WWE for not utilizing this book for the cause of world peace as it so clearly is designed. Something that magnificent belongs not to a wrestling promotion, but instead, to the world.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
Ironic Amazon reviews are really kind of reaching nowadays.

I wonder why 401Kane is going for the baby-hair look. Dude Bic'd his hair for years after the first unmasking, and a big bald dude in a power suit & tie would make him look more badass instead of, you know, baby hair.



\/\/\/I wish. It came up the first week he was on TV in the suit.

sticklefifer fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Mar 11, 2014

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007



Holy poo poo who coined this term because it owns


If it's you, top marks.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice

sticklefifer posted:

Ironic Amazon reviews are really kind of reaching nowadays.

I wonder why 401Kane is going for the baby-hair look. Dude Bic'd his hair for years after the first unmasking, and a big bald dude in a power suit & tie would make him look more badass instead of, you know, baby hair.

He likes lording that wicked widow's peak over the rest of us. Can't do that if you're completely bald.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Why cookie Rocket
Dec 2, 2003

Lemme tell ya 'bout your blood bamboo kid.
It ain't Coca-Cola, it's rice.
Kane handed out candy CANES for xmas Raw and when a fan didn't take one that was offered to him, he mashed a wad of them into his chest as if to say "oh you're GONNA enjoy a christmas treat, worm".

As someone who was not around for the Katie Vick saga I would watch a DVD of it because trying to piece it together from youtube clips is annoying and I hate watching stuff on TV. It sounds so surreal I can't imagine it wasn't at least entertainingly stupid.

  • Locked thread