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- Avoid cocktails with brown liquor. - Painkillers own, but need to be taken in moderation. - Learn your limits early, nobody likes a bitch. - Don't stick your dick in something without realizing what you're getting into.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:48
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 11:45 |
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Never post at something awful.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:49
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don't be me
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Mar 13, 2014 04:49
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Nuke it from orbit its the only way to be sure.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:50
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Don't have children.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:51
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-Don't -Don't -DON'TDon'tdon'tDON'T
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Mar 13, 2014 04:51
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shake it hard
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Mar 13, 2014 04:51
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if you're gonna commit suicide do it in a way that doesn't leave a body, less trouble for us.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:52
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eat a lot of pizza because you've only got a finite amount of slices you can eat.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:52
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Crazy Pigeon posted:Don't have children. - Always be aware of where your cum is at any time when you're with a woman.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:53
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Business Gorillas posted:- Avoid cocktails with brown liquor. terrible advice for having a good time
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Mar 13, 2014 04:54
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actually, tomatoes are a fruit
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Mar 13, 2014 04:54
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your dad is a fuckin loser
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Mar 13, 2014 04:55
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dont be a human being or do be a human being, i dont care
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Mar 13, 2014 04:56
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hail satan
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Mar 13, 2014 04:57
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Sticking your dick in crazy is a hell of a fun time, but you can't make a life out of it.
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Mar 13, 2014 04:58
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Was going to say don't, but since that's been covered... what the hell, go ahead.* *some restrictions apply
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Mar 13, 2014 04:58
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i'm going to largely neglect you so you better grow up fast
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Mar 13, 2014 04:58
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You ruined my life, and if you have a child it will ruin yours. Also, your mother is a whore.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:00
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stay the gently caress away from star trek conventions
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Mar 13, 2014 05:04
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Life is just a long string of disappointments son. You'll keep thinking "Hey, things will look up. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week. But it will get better. It has to, right?" Wrong. It will always be like this. The only difference is that aging will give your body amazing qualities like not being able to eat certain things without having terrible bowel movements and knowledge about the human nature that you could live a genuinely richer life without. What I'm saying is, if you tell me again you are "unsure about your gender identity" I am going to murder you. I say this to you, man to man. I am going to murder you, and I will get the chair for it. I don't mind. This is one disappointment I will not live with. Now leave and don't come back for the next six hours. We will never talk about this again. Don't say anything to your mother, she is already disappointed enough.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:08
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Business Gorillas posted:- Avoid cocktails with brown liquor. you'll drink beer and you'll like it goddamnit Business Gorillas posted:- Painkillers own, but need to be taken in moderation. straight heroin dawg Business Gorillas posted:- Learn your limits early, nobody likes a bitch. don't do stupid poo poo, dare your friends to do stupid poo poo Business Gorillas posted:- Don't stick your dick in something without realizing what you're getting into. theres a 25% chance the first woman you sleep with will get pregnant, and a 1 in 3 chance she'll give you an std choose wisely
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Mar 13, 2014 05:21
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save time, kill yourself
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Mar 13, 2014 05:24
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I already have a son and I am raising him very poorly, thank you very much.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:25
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kill me but don't let me see it coming
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Mar 13, 2014 05:26
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To be super cool gather together neighborhood nerds to fight back against the bully and his minions. Laughs abound, and, yes, some lessons learned.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:32
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Whiskey Sours posted:you'll drink beer and you'll like it goddamnit
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Mar 13, 2014 05:33
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I'd just tell them that the most important thing in life is knowing what is and isn't important.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:36
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FreudianSlippers posted:Beer is for central European weaklings and decadent Americans. Real men never drink anything that's less than 40% alcohol. Real MEN never drink anything less than 40% alcohol. However, based on my own personal experience, sixteen year olds should not be chugging Smirnoff.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:38
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Always go for the balls. Once your opponent is doubled over, finish him.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:38
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Brush your filthy fuckin candy coated teeth like 3 times a day Don't smoke weed AND cigarettes or your lungs will feel crusty before you even hit 30
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Mar 13, 2014 05:39
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FreudianSlippers posted:beer tastes yucky 
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Mar 13, 2014 05:39
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a lot of hard drinking rogues itt I see. better tell my kids to post elsewhere
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Mar 13, 2014 05:41
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Say no to strangers son. By the way as soon as you turn an arbitrary age, you are a suspected paedophile - then you should say no to kids dying on the roadside asking for help - but talk to as many strangers as you can, Its good to be outgoing. HowPeculiar fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Mar 13, 2014 |
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Mar 13, 2014 05:42
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Don't let curiousity hold you back, pull down/lift up her skirt and see for yourself.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:44
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-Take money -Smoke trees -gently caress bitches What are you Danish or something? Eat rancid shark and horse meat and wash it down with some brennivin.
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Mar 13, 2014 05:45
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i use drugs recrationally and have sex as well, op
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Mar 13, 2014 05:45
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FreudianSlippers posted:What are you Danish or something? Embrace your american heritage, boy 
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Mar 13, 2014 06:01
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Balls and/or eyes, son.
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Mar 13, 2014 06:16
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 11:45 |
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kill yourself
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Mar 13, 2014 06:17
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