Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Milkfred E. Moore
Aug 27, 2006

'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'
Look, let's be completely serious, there's nothing to really know or care about in Australian politics. Tony Abbott won because Labor kicked an own-goal for some nebulous reason that historians will puzzle over for decades to come (hah, just kidding, in two years we won't have historians) and has been spending every waking day doing his utmost to burn the country down while claiming he had to do it because:

- Labor Waste
- Boat-related issues
- People who aren't white
- Game of Thrones related megalomania
- The word 'friend of the family'

Milky, you say, you can't use that word. Twitter disagrees.



So, y'know, that's happening. In good news for Australia, I think we managed to get the Japanese to stop whaling but I remain firmly convinced that is just because we want to harpoon them ourselves. We're also not actually invading someone like Russia is.

Do I need to fill this with things? Like, actually useful things?

INSERT TITLE TEXT HERE

The Coalition

Pictured from left to right: Christopher Pyne, Tony Abbott and Malcolm Turnbull. Did you know that the Decepticons, literal Saturday morning cartoon villians, have better gender equality amongst their robot people than the Coalition does in their front bench? loving awesome. The Coalition is typically concerned with such things as conquering Cybertron, defeating the Autobots, amassing large quantities of energon, developing powerful weaponry, and beating people up. Not necessarily in that order. Interestingly, there are no boat Decepticons. Makes you think.

The Labor Party

See, sure these guys dress themselves up as working-class and working for the common man and whatever, but they're really no different from the above guys. When push comes to shove, they spend too long trying to decide who gets to be the head before collapsing in on each other which, y'know, is funny as hell in retrospect but also incredibly sad.

But Milky, shouldn't the Labor party be the Autobots? Uh, no, gently caress you. The Autobots are good robots. If the Labor Party are Autobots, then they're the Autobots from the episode where Megatron challenged Optimus to 1v1 him mid lane with the losers being banished from Earth forever and Megatron proceeds to obviously and repeatedly cheat during the duel and the Autobots just kind of throw up their hands and go 'welp, guess we have to leave, a duel is a duel' when Optimus loses.

...which is kind of fitting, really.

SCOTT LUDLUM SCOTT LUDLUM SCOTT LUDLUM


"And, perhaps most profoundly, your determined campaign to provoke fear in our community - fear of innocent families fleeing war and violence in our region - in the hope that it would bring out the worst in Cybertronians is instead bringing out the best in us. Megatron, you are welcome to take your heartless racist exploitation of people's fears and ram it as far from Cybertron as your taxpayer funded travel entitlements can take you."

However, everyone knows that Scott Ludlum's election confrontation with Abbott will go something like this because Labor will try to remodel themselves as some sort of new 'hot rod' and only get in the way and gently caress things up for everyone involved.

And I guess there's a wiki? And things like that? Who the gently caress cares.

Milkfred E. Moore fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Apr 2, 2014

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Endman
May 18, 2010

That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die


Milky postin'.

Ettin
Oct 2, 2010


quote:

Why Australians must pay to plug Government’s budget hole
Jessica Irvine
News Corp Australia

Story summary:
Treasurer Joe Hockey must act
Howard government blew half of surplus
Then Labor could not stop spending
Vital Labor policies not fully funded
Three structural holes in the economy

THIS is not a drill: Australia faces its longest run of budget red ink in history unless urgent remedial action is taken in the May budget.

Incoming governments get only one chance to fix the books and spill some electoral blood.

Joe Hockey must go hard or go home in his first budget. Peter Costello did an admirable job in his first budget. That was before the urge to splurge — which eventually gets every politician — became too powerful to resist.

Remember the days when the budget was rolling in money? For almost a decade, Costello pulled bigger than expected budget surpluses out of his hat — much to the excitement of an admiring voting public who enjoyed pension boosts and tax cuts.

Those were the days when the mining boom was just getting started. China would hand us hundreds of billions of dollars of budget windfalls, of which the Howard government blew about half, and Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard spent the rest. It’s a sorry fact that we’ve managed to come through the biggest mining boom since gold rush days and we’ve precious little to show for it.

Rudd came to power famously promising “this reckless spending must stop” before going on a blockbuster spending spree to protect Australians against the worst of the global financial crisis.

We should be glad he did. Action was needed. But with the benefit of hindsight, too much was spent.

Labor failed to reign in the worst of the Howard government’s budget excesses. In fact, it came to power matching dollar-for-dollar the multi-billion dollar tax cuts Costello announced on the eve of election in 2007 in a desperate attempt to neuter Labor.

Despite admirable savings drives led by finance ministers Lindsay Tanner and Penny Wong, Labor couldn’t stop spending. It introduced a carbon tax that cost more in compensation than it raised. It designed a mining tax that raised next to no revenue — but had plenty of big spending promises attached.

Worthy policies like a National Disability Insurance Scheme and the Gonski education funding boost were put on the table but never fully funded.

Sure, Labor used a type of budget hypothecation to claim new savings measures — such as increasing the Medicare levy surcharge and means testing the baby bonus — would offset the cost of the new spending.

But when you’re knee deep in debt, no policy is ever really fully funded.

ARE YOU WILLING TO SUFFER TO FIX THE DEFICIT? COMMENT BELOW

Remedial action to fix the budget was needed before these big spending promises. The task is now that much bigger.

You have got to have some sympathy for nice guy Joe Hockey whose job is now to be Edward Scissorhands in chief.

Hockey must fix the three structural holes in Australia’s budget left by a receding mining boom, an ageing population and expensive new social policies.
So, remember all those tax cuts and welfare cheques? Well, we’re going to need those back.

Bracket creep will do much of the hard work Hockey. Bracket creep is the phenomenon where every year more and more taxpayers get pushed into higher tax brackets thanks to their wage rises. Wages increase every year, but income tax thresholds are fixed. Earn just dollar more and boom, you’ve gone up a tax bracket.

Treasury says the average wage earner in 2024 will be paying an average tax rate of 28 cents in the dollar up from 23 per cent now thanks to bracket creep.

Not only will you be paying more tax, get set to work for longer before you are eligible for the age pension. Prepare to pay more to visit the GP and receive fewer family tax benefits as Hockey wields the knife.

Hockey has indicated he will try to spread the pain as much as possible. We’ll all have to do some heavy lifting.

And that’s fair enough too.

It’s time we stopped living in tax fantasy land, where we don’t have to actually pay for all those things we demand of government.

It’s time we all chipped in to fund the services for the disabled they deserve and the investments in human capital — that’s education to you and me — that will equip our young people with the skills they will need to survive in our new economy.

The pain starts in May.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
Which robot is Clive Palmer?

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

Sir Coq of Nandos posted:

Which robot is Clive Palmer?

Unicron

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe
Time to groundfloor this poo poo while hedging my bets.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Who voted for poo poo posting? You ask around but nobody owns up.

Endman
May 18, 2010

That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die


Cartoon posted:

Who voted for poo poo posting? You ask around but nobody owns up.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to lead the public discourse into supporting your mandate regardless.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 5 days!
Groundfloor

bell jar
Feb 25, 2009

Best OP in months imo

Mattjpwns
Dec 14, 2006

In joyful strains then let us sing
ADVANCE AUSTRALIA FUCKED
Vote 1 cut and paste Manus Island OP into this one, they're both great for their own reasons.

Les Affaires
Nov 15, 2004

So in actual economic news, the Carbon Tax allegedly claims another victim in Queensland, as BP will be shutting down a refinery.

hoiyes
May 17, 2007

Ettin posted:

"Wages increase every year, but income tax thresholds are fixed. Earn just dollar more and boom, you’ve gone up a tax bracket."
Ahahaha what the gently caress is this.
*tax brackets scare tactics ignorance*
*but we gotta pay more tax to fund social policy*

Seagull
Oct 9, 2012

give me a chip

Endman posted:

Milky postin'.

You son of a bitch.

Drugs
Jul 16, 2010

I don't like people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example - Albert Einstein
Here is an analogy:

"I am a building contractor. Last week I sold all of my tools, supplies and my vehicle. I then gave all the money I raised from these sales to customers as retroactive discounts on past services. Now I don't have any money, or any way to make money in the future, and I don't know why!"

Mad Katter
Aug 23, 2010

STOP THE BATS
Transformers OP is the best OP I can remember.

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
Best op

adamantium|wang
Sep 14, 2003

Missing you
Remember Angry White Man on QandA? He's a Parramatta City Councillor.




e: this OP is more than meets the eye

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 5 days!
Peri-urban sounds delicious.

Quantum Mechanic
Apr 25, 2010

Just another fuckwit who thrives on fake moral outrage.
:derp:Waaaah the Christians are out to get me:derp:

lol abbottsgonnawin

I love how this terrifying budget hole could be plugged by repealing literally two Howard-era tax cuts, but no we're all gonna have to FEEL THE PAIN.

Other
Jul 10, 2007

Post it easy!

quote:

Interestingly, there are no boat Decepticons
Nope
http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Thunderblast

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-02/students-killed-in-brisbane-since-november/5361056

QLD is almost up to one foreign student killed a month since November. Cmon Queensland!

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 5 days!

SynthOrange posted:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-02/students-killed-in-brisbane-since-november/5361056

QLD is almost up to one foreign student killed a month since November. Cmon Queensland!

Why should we feel sympathy for them? They're not even Australian.

Vladimir Poutine
Aug 13, 2012
:madmax:
This is the best Auspol OP I've seen in at least 30 days.

Les Affaires
Nov 15, 2004

Quantum Mechanic posted:

I love how this terrifying budget hole could be plugged by repealing literally two Howard-era tax cuts, but no we're all gonna have to FEEL THE PAIN.

Repealing tax cuts is not on the cards, it's actually better to let bracket creep do its work in the long run.

Removing one of the tax cuts for example would be considered an economic shock if it were a dramatic enough increase.

Seagull
Oct 9, 2012

give me a chip

SynthOrange posted:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-02/students-killed-in-brisbane-since-november/5361056

QLD is almost up to one foreign student killed a month since November. Cmon Queensland!

Australia Does Not Have A Problem With Foreigners.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005

ROCK HARD
We're a welcoming and friendly country and if you disagree with me I'll fucken glass ya oval office

Zenithe
Feb 25, 2013

Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.

adamantium|wang posted:

Remember Angry White Man on QandA? He's a Parramatta City Councillor.




e: this OP is more than meets the eye

My favourite part was when he said all refugees are dole bludgers (to the man on the panel who was son of a WWII Jewish refugee)

Ettin
Oct 2, 2010

Quantum Mechanic posted:

I love how this terrifying budget hole could be plugged by repealing literally two Howard-era tax cuts, but no we're all gonna have to FEEL THE PAIN.

What I love is how this is a pro-Liberal opinion piece disguised as front-page news :negative:

Incidentally,

quote:

TONY Abbott has established a covert political hit squad which is funded by taxpayers, operates outside parliamentary scrutiny and has a controversial leader.

The under-the-radar Coalition Advisory Service supplies Government backbenchers with media information and ammunition to aim at the Labor Opposition. It has offices in Parliament House.

The Government says it is there to "provide training support to Government members and senators and their staff to assist them in servicing their constituents and ensuring the efficient and effective operation of electorate officers".

But its detailed activities have been kept confidential — although it is known as CAS and has a sharply political role serving the Government.

It's head is Simon Berger, the former Woolworths executive who left the company after organising the auction of a "chaff-bag jacket" at a September 2012 Young Liberal fundraising dinner addressed by Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones.

The chaff-bag referred to on-air comments by Mr Jones that then Prime Minister Julia Gillard should be put in one and dumped at sea.

Under CAS, Mr Berger has a staff of at least six but a potential allocation of 10.

They are paid from $75,000 to $175,000 a year, news.com.au has been told, and so far have been issued laptops and mobile telephones worth a total of close to $22,000.

The Labor Opposition has been trying to get more details about CAS operations at Estimates hearings where ministers and their department heads are questioned about spending.

However, CAS is not the responsibility of a minister.

It operates under Government Whip Philip Ruddock who, as he's not a minister, does not have his spending examined at Estimates grillings.

Both Labor and the Coalition have set up offices similar to CAS when in government. That's one reason why the Opposition knows it has a largely political role.

One of the most controversial was Labor's National Media Liaison Service (known as aNiMaLS) in the 1990s.

Its Labor successors include the Caucus Communications Team (CCT) and under the Coalition, the Government Members' Secretariat.

Senior Labor senator John Faulkner wants these bodies to be subjected to scrutiny by being made the responsibility of the Special Minister of State, a job he once held.
However, the Coalition wants to keep it with the Chief Whip, the current Special Minister of State Michael Ronaldson said.

"I just want to be assured by you that there is no attempt to avoid transparency and accountability by having the employing parliamentarian be the Chief Whip in the House of Representatives, hence questions at Senate estimates committees become more difficult and more obtuse," Senator Faulkner said to Senator Ronaldson at an Estimates hearing in November last year.

Senator Ronaldson replied there were "two schools of thoughts" about the issue.

"There is a view in some quarters that the Whip is the appropriate employer in that situation and that you should keep it out of a minister's office because there may well be risks associated," he said.

"It will seem to be a political office. But I am not hung up on whether it is the Special Minister of State or the Chief Whip. I am sure that, if you ask questions about it, they will be answered."

Labor has had six questions about CAS listed for the past month without answers.

However, it is known that CAS has a staffing allocation of 10 with one chief of staff at level 2, one senior adviser at band 1, five advisers, two assistant advisers and one executive assistant/office manager.

:stare:

Seagull
Oct 9, 2012

give me a chip
Guys April Fools is over you're all looking hella dumb.

Guys?

Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe
My favourite part is that our Prime Minister is an economic migrant.

Les Affaires
Nov 15, 2004

Crossposting:

BrosephofArimathea
Jan 31, 2005

I've finally come to grips with the fact that the sky fucking fell.

Quantum Mechanic posted:

I love how this terrifying budget hole could be plugged by repealing literally two Howard-era tax cuts, but no we're all gonna have to FEEL THE PAIN.

Option 1: marginal rates flat, don't index brackets - you pay more tax, but it's because you are a Totally Successful Self Made Man Climbing Teh Ladder Bootstraps (if you even notice your gross tax increasing, which 90% of people don't, so you get away with it almost always)

Option 2: index brackets, raise marginal rates - you likely pay less tax, but THE GOVERNMENT BASTARDS RAISED MAH TAXES

Of course they are going with #1.

Considering the Coalition has incumbency with an unassailable lead in the polls with no election on the horizon, making it the perfect time to make necessary but unpopular structural changes... which structural reforms is Brave Admiral Joe Hockey going to take to solve this emergency?

- Implement a proper MRT/RRT - and maybe this time, don't be massive babbys about it when a bunch of WA/QLD trogs bitch about it in poorly produced tv ads

- Implement a proper ETS, and maybe this time don't be massive babbys about it and overcompensate everyone who might have hurt feelings

- Reform FTB A & B, since they are clearly broken at this point and don't even have a clear purpose

- Maybe consider having a tiny peek at that $50bn pa superannuation black hole where the overwhelming majority of benefits go to those in the top two tax brackets. Ya know.

- Include the PPOR in the pension assets test to both decrease total pension spend and stop peverse malinvestment in overcapitalising a taxfree asset
(perhaps redirect some of the savings into equalising the treatment of the pension and newstart, instead of demonising vulnerable people to win votes from retirees who threw on a new kitchen and pool in order to collect a pension while they bleat to Alan Jones about TEH DOLE BLUDGERS who we give 30% less because reasons)

- Income test health care cards for seniors, for the same reason

- ffs, it's time to go Negative gearing. Pretty sure that $5bn a year we spend subsidising loss-making speculation is enough tradeoff to risk the fictional ZOMG LANDLORDS STRIKE.

- Drop the CGT discount since it's totally failed in it's initial purpose to discourage short term speculation and lead to huge amounts of overcapitalisation and... medium term speculation.

BrosephofArimathea fucked around with this message at 03:52 on Apr 2, 2014

Seams
Feb 3, 2005

ROCK HARD
i hate australia its a lovely land

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 5 days!

BrosephofArimathea posted:

Option 1: marginal rates flat, don't index brackets - you pay more tax, but it's because you are a Totally Successful Self Made Man Climbing Teh Ladder Bootstraps (if you even notice your gross tax increasing, which 90% of people don't)

Option 2: index brackets, raise marginal rates - you likely pay less tax, but THE GOVERNMENT BASTARDS RAISED MAH TAXES

Of course, there are a bunch of things that Hockey could do but won't
- Implement a proper MRT/RRT - and maybe this time, don't be massive babbys about it when they bitch about it in poorly produced tv ads
- Implement a proper ETS, and maybe this time don't be massive babbys about it and overcompensate everyone who might have hurt feelings
- Reform FTB A & B, since they are clearly broken at this point and don't even have a clear purpose
- Maybe consider having a tiny peek at that $50bn pa superannuation black hole where the overwhelming majority of benefits go to those in the top two tax brackets. Ya know.
- Include the PPOR in the pension assets test to both decrease total pension spend and stop peverse malinvestment in overcapitalising a taxfree asset
- Income test health care cards for seniors, for the same reason
- ffs, it's time to go Negative gearing ZOMG LANDLORDS STRIKE
- Drop the CGT discount since it's totally failed in it's initial purpose to discourage short term speculation and lead to huge amounts of overcapitalisation and... medium term speculation.

All of those are politically difficult, lets just kick the mentally ill off the DSP.

Also does anyone here work for the ATO I could use some help.

Gough Suppressant
Nov 14, 2008

Jumpingmanjim posted:

All of those are politically difficult, lets just kick the mentally ill off the DSP.

Also does anyone here work for the ATO I could use some help.

don't give him your home address

bell jar
Feb 25, 2009



:stonk:

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
Who's the lady on the far right of that image supposed to be?

Jonah Galtberg
Feb 11, 2009

webmeister posted:

Who's the lady on the far right of that image supposed to be?

Catherine's mum I think

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Gough Suppressant
Nov 14, 2008
So in addition to not checking with his party room about bringing back Knights and Dames, Tony Abbott may not have checked with the Queen either.

There's increasing questions about when the Letters Patent needed were signed by the Queen.

'Asked why the office would not disclose the exact date, a spokeswoman for the Prime Minister said: "We just don't want to release it."'

  • Locked thread