Premier League's April Fools: David Moyes, Arsene Wenger, Jozy Altidore

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Premier League's April Fools: David Moyes, Arsene Wenger, Jozy Altidore

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

blue footed boobie posted:

Also, the best part of this story is that United made the decision to sack Moyes months ago, but waited until they were mathematically eliminated from the CL to do it. What a ridiculous small time mentality.

Be interesting to see how much money they saved if this is true. As poo poo as United have been, they were still only 6 points out of 4th at the end of Jan. It was far from a hopeless situation.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 02:14

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 03:20

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

tbp posted:

Idk I disagree with this, a 14 match win streak not being accomplished isn't exactly a huge gently caress up

That said I do think they'll win it

To win the title with a 14 game win streak would be pretty loving insane. I'm really excited for the Chelsea match.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 01:01

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

quiet enjoyment posted:

Am I to understand that if Liverpool get a 14 game win streak they might still not ... get a trophy for that?

A 14 game win streak would, in fact, earn Liverpool a trophy called the English Premier Barcaleys Premier League Championship Trophy (British).

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 02:50

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Charlotte Hornets posted:

continental european football will absolutely trounce this pool back four

English sides have routinely trounced this pool back four - just been outscoring them somehow.

Ewar Woowar posted:

I'd just be happy with Liverpool buying a left back as far as starters go. Obviously we need depth on the bench (probably another central midfielder and a winger) but we have some quality loan signings coming back that will pad the squad out. I like Johnson a lot and although he's had a patchy season would be happy if he's our starting right back next season.

Will be interesting to see who leaves. Moses and Cissokho won't be bought after their loans (thank god). Aspas will probably be sold rather than loaned given the fact that he's 26. I can see Borini being kept on although I don't think he quite fits in at Liverpool. There are probably question marks over Jose Enrique and Lucas too.

I know Borini scored the penalty against Chelsea but he had 4 goals in a full season's worth of games, and 2 of those were penalties. Yes this was a really, really poo poo Sunderland side but the times I saw him play, I never thought he looked like he was growing into a great forward who could back up Suarez/Sturridge.

cheese fucked around with this message at 05:22 on Apr 25, 2014

# ¿ Apr 25, 2014 05:20

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Edit: Dbl post

# ¿ Apr 25, 2014 05:22

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Hardflip posted:

Rodgers not falling for Mou mindgames

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/liverpool-fc-brendan-rodgers-not-7035424

Haha gently caress me, I like to imgaine he walking over and hi fiving a smiling Sturridge right after he says that.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2014 18:23

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

vyelkin posted:

The Telegraph are saying, without quotes of course, that United's next manager will be told to win the league next season.

There's also some choice quotes from Rooney in there saying he wants Giggs to be the permanent manager. Do it, Glazers. You know you want to.

This 200m pound number. Does anyone really, truly believe that Manchester United, run by the Glazers, are going to go out and spend 200m pounds in a single transfer window after dropping 65m on Fellani/Mata this year? 265m+ on players in a 12 month period? Did City or Chelsea ever do that at the height of their buying frenzies? The whole thing sounds so absurd like a kid plugging his ears and screaming about how his dad is gonna beat up your dad, just you wait and see!

# ¿ Apr 27, 2014 02:37

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Ravel posted:

Between summer 2009 and summer 2010 didn't City buy Dzeko, Toure, Silva, Balotelli, Milner, Kolarov, Tevez, Ade, Lescott, Santa Cruz, Barry, Johnson, Kolo. Transfermarkt says that adds up to 290m.

Fair enough. Looks like their peak was 140m of that in the summer of 2009. Still, that was oil/monopoly money. The Glazers are used to making a big profit on United. Assuming United finish strongly (and its not crazy to think they take 7 points from Hull, Sunderland and Southampton) and are 6th or within a sniff, I can see the Glazers convincing themselves that Moyes was the problem and not opening up the wallet like that. Maybe if United were in 12th or something but not with European football in reach.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2014 03:15

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

mrg220t posted:

Why didn't Rodgers just play for the draw. Aaaaaaaaa I'm melting down here.

Don't be ridiculous. Every time Liverpool have played to keep the status quo in a game, they have been burned. This team is not capable of playing for a draw - the only way to play for Liverpool is to attack and it's hard to fault for Rodgers for not knowing that his plan, which was working just fine, would be spoiled by Gerrard falling over and gifting a 1 on 1 to Ba.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2014 20:00

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Jose posted:

They lost 2-0 op

Go on

# ¿ Apr 27, 2014 20:27

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

jynxed posted:

I was thinking this myself, the league has been won and lost many times down the years on the last day of the season. Chelsea came to frustrate today and they did it well, managed to defend deep and not give away anything too stupid around the edge of the box. Liverpool should have expected this though as chelsea under mourinho arnt the most adventurous going forward. I think Gerrards mistake in the 1st half seemed to be on his mind in the second, he has been great this season and seemed to want to make up for the mistake too much taking the shot rather than look for people who where maybe better options or movement ahead.

The winning streak had to come to an end at some point but still point to play for and still in with a shout for the league. Thats a long way from last couple of seasons.

Liverpool did expect it and played accordingly (a 0-0 draw would not have been ideal but would have left the league in Liverpools hands), but then Gerrard fell down and gifted it to probably the only Chelsea striker I'd put money on converting the opportunity. Not really that complex. Happy to be back in the CL, still have a glimmer of hope for the league and will be gutted if we give it away.

Modus Trollens posted:

"We can still do it" -> "just happy to be here" in one post, drat nice meltdown source your quotes next time

Can Liverpool fans not be elated to be back in the CL and to be challenging for the title while still being hopeful for the next few weeks?

# ¿ Apr 28, 2014 01:03

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Bagpuss_UK posted:

Calling it:

Liverpool: draw v Palace, win v Newcastle
Chelsea: win v Norwich, win v Cardiff
City: draw v Everton, win v Villa, win v West Ham

All 3 teams end on 84 points, finishes City/Pool/Chelsea on goal difference alone

Everton are essentially out of the CL spots and will offer only modest resistance. City are going to win out, book it.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2014 00:58

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

Vinestalk posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpvXBPnqqB0

Is it not unusual for the manager to be running that kind of a small group training session?

# ¿ May 1, 2014 01:19

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 03:20

cheese: Jan 7, 2004; Shop around for doctors! Always fucking shop for doctors. Doctors are stupid assholes. And they get by because people are cowed by their mystical bullshit quality of being able to maintain a 3.0 GPA at some Guatemalan medical college for 3 semesters. Find one that makes sense.

tbp posted:

Can you petition the good lads at Newcastle to concede double digit goals to Liverpool and also not score any when they play one another

It would be an amazing end to the season if Liverpool won the title by putting 9 past Newcastle. What a half of football if they found themselves up 4 or 5-0 at the break.

# ¿ May 1, 2014 22:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Premier League's April Fools: David Moyes, Arsene Wenger, Jozy Altidore