May Navy Thread - Semen in your coffee - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > May Navy Thread - Semen in your coffee

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Or you could get a good job and not have to remain an enlisted piece of poo poo just so you can afford a 6 pack of high life.

# ¿ May 7, 2014 13:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 22:41

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Boon posted:

Well yeah, but I think I'm going to have a lot of difficulty finding a job that's willing to let me be absent for two years while I go to school full-time. Also insurance.

I'm just bustin chops. If I hadn't already had a degree when I got out I would have just gone back to school and lived the good life, probably in the reserves. Now I need to work on a master's while working. my free time :negative:

# ¿ May 7, 2014 13:54

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

SketchesOfSpain01 posted:

Imagine still being active duty, working full time in your personal hell...

And taking 4-5 classes per semester.

This is my life. Save me.

How do you think I got my degree while I was enlisted :ssh:

# ¿ May 7, 2014 14:13

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

PneumonicBook posted:

Ahahaha, that's rich. Maybe working full time on malingering.

I was thinking of fall back plans for when I get out of this terrible service that lets guys like sketches one day become lpos, and I thought hey, I could always get a job teaching at a C school or something. Any of you know anyone working at a navy training command in a civilian capacity? I'd ask around here but all of the civilian instructors at good old great lakes are retired thirty year gm chiefs so I try not to talk to them if I can help it.

It's me. I'm the civilian working as an instructor at an a school. I got out as a lowly 2nd class after 5 years so maybe I'm more approachable? Also Vriess (spelling?) works here, too.

# ¿ May 7, 2014 14:52

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

There's a chief in my class now who served on a sub with an old classmate of mine. When confirmed we were talking about the same guy I said "that guy used to underage drink at my apartment during A school". He just laughed and said it happens.

Fart Sandwiches fucked around with this message at 13:32 on May 8, 2014

# ¿ May 8, 2014 12:55

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Also if you don't mind staying in your current area get good with the contractors you work with. They usually get decent bonuses for referring people that get hired at their company, and ones that aren't shitheads will usually split it.

When I got hired at this place the bonus was 5 grand and after taxes we each got a little less than 2 grand.

Btw if anyone wants to teach ctn a school pm me :wink:

# ¿ May 15, 2014 01:16

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Laranzu posted:

Plz wait until 2017 after I have obliserved as a CTN kthx.

I'll still be here. This job owns.

# ¿ May 15, 2014 01:35

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Boon posted:

I like to think of it as the Navy, being a wing of the federal government, developing new technologies. Expensive at first, some will fail, but ultimately something insanely beneficial will come from it.

You could say this technology would be a... Boon

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o

# ¿ May 16, 2014 02:39

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Vriess posted:

Basically everyone I knew in Active Duty became a CTN1.

No regrets.

From what I remember (as a second class) being a CTN1 looked like a someone crushing your balls in a vice forever.

# ¿ May 23, 2014 20:05

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Does anyone have that resume some black navy officer chick sent to her gaining command? It was like some wack powerpoint with misspellings and stuff.

# ¿ May 27, 2014 18:12

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Thanks! Someone I'm friends with on facebook posted a picture of their sister in uniform and I guess I'm just racist cause I thought they were the same person. Either way, good for a laugh.

# ¿ May 27, 2014 18:31

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Sir Lucius posted:

Our CO called up a sailor last Thursday to personally congratulate him on advancing to E6. 6 hours later he flipped his truck over and was charged with a DUI. Now he isn't going to make HYT. What does this all really mean? Easier quotas when I'm up for advancement. Keep it up everyone

So it's the CO's fault.

# ¿ May 28, 2014 14:36

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

I don't browse reddit but every now and then someone will link a real gem

http://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/24va90/im_an_idiot_who_drove_across_the_country_to/

The girl he's talking about is in some a-school.

quote:

Backstory:
We have been together for over 3 years and it's been the best time of my life. We were talking about the future together and she was sending wedding dress pictures to my mom and such. It was serious.
Buuuuuut....being away from her for so long I started to get lonely and jealous and started accusing her of things and always interrogating her about her day. Eventually it became too much for her and she left me. After contemplating things that involved death I decided to spend the last of my money on a ring and drive down to propose to her like I should've done a long time ago.
I managed to get a phone conversation with her before I left and it was very reassuring. We just talked like we used to, but nothing about being in a relationship again. I told her how bad I messed up and apologized with lovely words. She's agreed to see me Wednesday. I'm gonna warm her up with homemade gifts reflecting our past and the pop the question on the Gulf of Mexico shoreline.
So here I am in an IHOP parking lot using a giant pink mustache as a pillow because I can't afford a hotel. So after a day of driving I thought I'd entertain myself with strangers. So go on, AMA guys.
EDIT:
Here's a comic strip I made of our time together that I'm giving to her to read before I ask.
COVER PAGES 1-4 PAGES 5-8 PAGES 9-12
The last page is blank on purpose. I have my markers and its up to her what the ending is.
EDIT 2: just got off the phone with her. I'm staying till the weekend, seeing her today, parasailing Thursday, and I'm asking her on the beach after parasailing.
EDIT 3: Meeting her now. Gonna give her the comic inside a handmade beach themed box of chocolates.
EDIT 4: The night ended well. We had dinner, I gave her the box of chocolates with the comic in it and she cried. I had a note I'd written and put in a secret compartment (I made this for her in 2012 for valentines day) and showed her the note from me two years ago.
We talked in my car on base and it was really emotional, both of us teared up. I said to her "I know there's a part of you that wants to give me a second chance" as she looked at me and said "yes".
I asked her if I had asked her to marry me before all this what would you have said? She would have said yes and that it didn't have to be a ring, it could've been a plastic one from a gum ball machine. We had a laugh about the whole situation and how she would have threw it back at me as she said yes, but that it would be special. She hugged me and said goodnight RyRy, to which I said goodnight ArAr. I asked to kiss her cheek and she said no. I asked to kiss her hand and still no. So I asked for at least some shoulder. She presented me her shoulder and I kiss the hell out of it and tarted using tongue. She laughed and said ewww.
After a tight hug and many apologies we said goodnight and I drove past her on the side walk looking like a creep rolling down the window asking if she wanted a piece of gum. She said "I don't take gum from strangers". I said "well, I'm Ryan. Are we still strangers?" She walked up to my door and took a piece of gum, smiled and blew me a kiss.
I still have an uphill battle, but Im at a good start. She's coming to the hotel Thursday and I'm going to buy a gum ball ring tmrw to use to ask her to marry me, and if she says yes and puts it on, I'll say "that's cute and all, but I think this one would look better" and pull out the real ring. So that's my update! I'll have more Thursday night.... I may ask the question that night.
EDIT 5: changed gun all to gum ball. Bad typo. Very bad typo. Other typos
EDIT 6: I've decided I'm not gonna ask her Thursday. Instead, I'm gonna buy a plastic gum ball ring like she talked about and give it to her as a promise ring, a promise I'm here to stay and won't give up on her. I think I should take this slower. So looks like I'm gonna be here for a couple weeks. After the promise ring, I'm going to keep seeing her until she agrees to give me another chance. Then I think that's when I'll drop to the knee and tell her it's the only one I need and just loving do it.
Since everyone seems so interested in this I will keep this post up to date. While I feel weird divulging my personal life more than I thought I would have been, there's something therapeutic in chronicling the story, like an open source diary. Thank you for all your responses. I'll keep this updated.
EDIT 7: since people think me kissing her shoulder was a rejection, here's why it's significant...
It's what we do. When she's mad at me she won't kiss me to reach me a lesson. So I ask for something else I can kiss. It usually gets her laughing and and ends up kissing me anyway. The shoulder was a good thing. It means of something to come.

For the pictures you actually have to click through but it is one of the most pathetic things I have ever read.

Fart Sandwiches fucked around with this message at 15:04 on May 30, 2014

# ¿ May 30, 2014 15:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 22:41

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Yeah I tried my damnedest to find out who the chick was and I asked my students and someone claimed to see one of the weird meet ups they had but other than that I couldn't get any info.

I did find a pic of the dude and he was a weird fatty and for some reason he posted a picture of his not girlfriend's hand and it was mad fat so my money is on them both being huge, especially cause she's in the navy.

# ¿ May 31, 2014 01:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > May Navy Thread - Semen in your coffee