US Politics Thread for May: Everything is fucked, emphasis on everything. - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > US Politics Thread for May: Everything is fucked, emphasis on everything.

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Two can play at this game! "I am a firm believer in [necrophilia, probably], " Senator Rand Paul.

# ¿ May 9, 2014 18:20

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 16:43

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Happy Confederate Memorial Day, not-America! :toot:

:toot:

# ¿ May 9, 2014 19:49

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

John Boehner is telling people that he might not serve out his next full term.

Because he might die.

quote:

�Listen, I�m going to be 65-years-old in November,� Boehner said. �I never thought I�d live to be 60. So I�m living on borrowed time.�

I'm not sure what health problems might be worrying a fully-tanned man well known for chain smoking and drinking wine in his office all day, but it sounds serious! :ohdear:

:ohdear:

# ¿ May 12, 2014 21:01

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

John Crisco died unexpectedly at his home today, so there will not be a need for a runoff in the North Carolina 2nd CD Democratic Primary. Clay Aiken is now unopposed in his race to lose to Renee Ellmers in November.

# ¿ May 12, 2014 21:27

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

In between castrations Iowa Senate candidate Joni Ernst found time to talk to the Des Moines Register about another hot button issue on the minds of voters in 2014: how Bush was right.

quote:

DMR: Do you believe there was actionable intelligence to go into Iraq?

ERNST: I do believe at that time there was. I wasn't at a level to know. Obviously, the president thought there was actionable intelligence. So, as an Iraqi War veteran I stand beside that. And I stand beside every other soldier I served with in believing we were on a clearly defined mission to go into Iraq.

DMR: Even though Saddam Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction?

ERNST: We don't know that there were weapons on the ground when we went in. However, I do have reason to believe there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. That was the intelligence that was operated on. I was not at a level to question.

DMR: Are you now?

ERNST: I have reason to believe there was weapons of mass destruction.

DMR: What is the reason?

ERNST: I will tell you, my husband served in Saudi Arabia as an Army Central Command sergeant major for a year and that's a hot-button topic in that area.

Well, well, well, :ms:

:ms:

the WMDs were all stole by Joni's husband in Saudi.

# ¿ May 13, 2014 02:30

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Cimber posted:

Isn't he a Canadian citizen and not eligible to be a US senator?

He is both a Canadian and a US citizen and is eligible to be a US Senator.

He's said that he wants to give up his Canadian citizenship, but the Canandian State Department told him that he'd have to write an essay about why he doesn't want to be Canadian any more.

# ¿ May 13, 2014 02:45

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Hold on guys, Karl Rove is saying there's still a chance that Hillary has brain damage....

Also, did we ever get to the bottom of those real estate deals?

# ¿ May 13, 2014 03:14

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

zoux posted:

Lindsay Graham got officially censured by Charleston County Republican party. The charge: being a secret liberal commie fake phony RINO piece of poo poo!!!!

This is the third time he's been censured by a SC Republican group this year, FWIW. I think it's the SC GOP version of voting to repeal Obamacare.

# ¿ May 13, 2014 22:45

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Rick Santorum comes oh so close to moderating his views and saying something generally agreeable: he'd prefer that the government provide free contraceptives rather than mandating private insurance cover their cost.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6g2D25gxgk

Yes, we could have lived in that better world, but Barack Obama just wouldn't allow it because he wants to make you bow to Caesar with his mandates.

# ¿ May 13, 2014 23:31

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

There's going to be another Tea Party march on Washington this week to kick Obama and Boehner out of the White House. But there's a twist! Some right wing groups think that this is part of a false flag operation to blame patriots for the death of John Crisco, the guy who was running against Clay Aiken in that primary until he died a day before he would have conceded.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 02:31

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Ben Sasse has been successful at branding himself a Tea Party radical, but he's really a straightforward dogmatic Republican ex-Bush administration official. He may display differences with the Republican Senate caucus in terms of tactics, but as far as policy goes Nebraskans won't notice much of a difference between him and Johanns.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 15:10

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

SgtScruffy posted:

Has anyone mentioned Operation: American Spring yet? Apparently BETWEEN 10-20 MILLION* true American patriots are going to descend upon DC and will not leave until Obongo is outed. Also, guns should not be brought, but know that the government MAY use deadly force against peaceful protesters.

*_{According to the radio host that is organizing it}

I mentioned it last night, but I was phone posting so I didn't have a chance to quote the Truther response to this news. It seems that this rally is actually a FALSE FLAG that ties in to the official reopening of the Washington Monument which will be destroyed as part of a controlled demolition during the event.

quote:

SWITZERLAND, Zurich � On Tuesday, May 13, 2014, President Obama will award the Medal of Honor to former Army Sergeant Kyle J. White at the White House. Sgt. White allegedly risked his life to save fellow service members during a 2007 ambush in Afghanistan.
.
Three days later on Friday, May 16, 2014, Retired Colonel Harry Riley will lead a march of thousands of so-called �patriots� to Washington D.C. to �remove Obama, Biden, Reid, McConnell, Boehner, Pelosi, and Attorney General Holder from Office�.
.
Interestingly, Col. Riley has termed the march �OPERATION AMERICAN SPRING�, a name synonymous with Islamic terrorism. In essence, �Operation American Spring� is a trap to set-up well-meaning �patriots� for acts of state-sponsored terror so that Obama�s political opposition can be vilified and a civil war can commence.
.
It is during one or both of these seemingly harmless events that a state-sponsored coup d��tat and/or terror attacks will likely take place. Although terror plots are always subject to change, most likely target is Washington, D.C., namely the Obama White House and the Washington Monument.
.
The answer to the question posed in the April 17, 2014 Reuters report entitled �After Nevada Ranch Stand-Off, Emboldened Militias Ask: Where Next?� may just be Washington, D.C. A future terror scenario in which �militia� members (i.e., so-called �domestic terrorists�) execute a coup d��tat against the Obama White House followed by terror attacks in Washington, D.C. is unfortunately very real.
.
In what appears to be a pre-White House terror exercise, it was reported on May 6, 2014, that a car allegedly trailing President Obama daughters� motorcade prompted a White House lockdown. Whether the lockdown provided the necessary cover for the installation of demolition explosives and/or weapons inside the White House is not known, but said explosives could be detonated via remote control at a future date (May 13-16?) in order to give the appearance of a coordinated coup or terrorist attack.
.
Aside from the Pennsylvania man who was arraigned for a White House threat on March 24, 2014, two people were arrested and charged for throwing items at the White House on May 9, 2014. Prior to a state-sponsored terror attacks, patsies are often arrested for trivial crimes against the target in question in order to set the precedent for the real attack which is forthcoming.
.
Interestingly, on May 11, 2014, it was revealed that the Washington Monument will finally be reopened to the public on May 12, 2014. Whether the 3-year closure has provided the necessary cover for the installation of demolition explosives and/or weapons inside the Washington Monument is not known, but said explosives could be detonated via remote control at a future date (May 13-16?) in order to give the appearance of a coordinated coup or terrorist attack.
.
Coincidentally, it was reported on May 9, 2014, that a President James A. Garfield monument in D.C. was burglarized. Similar to the recent White House attacks, the attack on the Garfield monument was executed by intelligence operatives in order to set the precedent for a much larger attack on the Washington Monument which is forthcoming.
.
The notion that U.S. politicians are actively being targeted was recently witnessed on May 9, 2014, when the FBI allegedly arrested an Indiana man for threats against House Speaker John Boehner. Three days later on May 12, 2014, Keith Crisco, a politician from North Carolina, was found dead in his home. Needless to say, the blame for these events will likely be scapegoated onto so-called �patriots� in the wake of upcoming Washington, D.C.-related attacks.
.
In what may be �the� terror drill for a full-scale attack on the White House, the largest ever terror drill in the history of Boston, Massachusetts was executed on May 3-4, 2014, lasting a total of 24-hours and involving 2,000 personnel. Interestingly, the terror exercise involved the hostage rescue of elected officials, an explosive device on a transit system, a structural collapse, and a simulation of a terrorist takeover at the Convention and Exhibition Center. In order to hide their true target, state-sponsored terror drills are often held in nearby cities.
.
The notion that the White House is under the threat of a state-sponsored coup by Special Forces has been exposed ad nauseam by Truther.org (e.g., White House Coup D��tat Terror Plot, State of the Union Terror Plot, etc.). As documented, the CIA is desperately trying to stage a coup against the Obama White House (which is coincidentally slated for demolition) in order to demonize political opposition and raise Obama�s poll numbers which are currently at an all-time low.
.
As detailed in the Truther.org report entitled �Top U.S. Landmarks Slated For �Controlled Demolition� Under Obama�, the entire city of Washington, D.C. has been rigged for demolition under the Obama administration (e.g., the National Mall; the Pentagon; the United States Capitol; the Supreme Court Building; the Washington Monument; the White House, and the FBI�s the J. Edgar Hoover Building). Therefore, within a few minutes, the entire city of Washington, D.C. can be turned into a raging inferno, thus giving the look of an elaborate and organized coup.
.

It goes on to explain that the movie Olympus Has Fallen was actually part of a Psy Ops campaign to prepare America for the earthquake that damaged the Washington Monument, which happened prior to the release of the movie.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 19:16

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

PPP's Alaska poll finds broad support for their minimum wage referendum and narrow support for marijuana legalization, which will also be on the ballot in November. Gay marriage won't be on the ballot, but it appears Alaskans would vote for it if it were.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 19:34

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Cimber posted:

I love how these so called 'American patriots' don't like the American political process. I seem to remember something going on in 2012 to chose the next POTUS. Is that not a valid political process?

They also want to remove Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Nancy Pelosi, and Eric Holder. Three of those people weren't on the ballot in 2012! True, one of those three people is an appointee who would have been replaced had the election gone differently and, also true, another of those three people is on the ballot this year, but that still leaves Harry Reid!

# ¿ May 14, 2014 19:46

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

They had a cover story for the Washington Monument too: the multi-year shutdown caused by that earthquake. Apparently it takes the NWO several years to rig an obelisk with an elevator shaft going up its center to explode, but they can do the whole White House in a couple hours.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 21:16

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

DynamicSloth posted:

Wait is Obama not in on this conspiracy, why do they need to stage anything to get into the White House?

Maybe the real question is which Obama is in on this?! :ssh:

:ssh:

# ¿ May 14, 2014 21:19

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

JT Jag posted:

This one is clearly in regards to Malicious Nazi-Communist Supreme Leader Who Stole The Election, Show Us Your Birth Certificate Obama, as opposed to Dimwit Babby Shits His Diapers, Dude Needs Teleprompters He Isn't Even A Good Orator, Also He's Whipped By His Wife Obama.

I was going for a joke about Michelle taking over, but that works too.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 23:51

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Le Monde's (female) editor also left today over a workplace dispute. One more and the Times can write a trend piece!

# ¿ May 15, 2014 02:57

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

In actual huge US political news, Harry Reid thinks it is time to reconsider the AUMF. Obviously an AUMF repeal faces a 0% chance of passing the current Congress and something south of 0% at passing the next Congress, but still a very significant move for a Senator not named Rand Paul.

# ¿ May 15, 2014 03:01

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

hangedman1984 posted:

The second amendment promises me nuclear bombs!!!

That was the actual position of Greg Brannon who, sadly, did not win the North Carolina Republican Senate primary.

# ¿ May 15, 2014 17:47

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Yeah, you're going to want to watch this three minute clip of the closing statements from the two also-ran candidates in the Idaho GOP Gubernatorial primary. The first from a biker who wants to be Governor so he can get some practice for his eventual winning Presidential campaign (God promised him this) and the other from a man who appears to be a 19th century gold prospector who is concerned because his Bible told him we're going to run out of iodine before the nuclear apocalypse.

# ¿ May 15, 2014 17:58

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Interesting factoid: if the Republicans pick up seats in the House this election (likely) and Boehner forced out of his Speaker position (unlikely, but possible) he will be the first Speaker of the House in history to be forced out following a gain of seats by his party. The weird thing here is: the more seats the Republicans gain, the more likely his ouster becomes.

# ¿ May 16, 2014 03:19

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Meanwhile, Robert Costa Who Was Actually Doing Good Reporting was able to cover an event hosted by Edwin Meese, who is still alive and being terrible. Apparently, Cruz, Lee, Norquist, DeMint, Perkins, and others have drafted a conservative manifesto in opposition of raising taxes, immigration reform, gay rights, etc. that they're planning to use as a litmus test for candidate support.

# ¿ May 16, 2014 03:25

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

# ¿ May 16, 2014 17:51

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Looks like Operation American Spring might reach its goal of 10-20 attendees.

# ¿ May 16, 2014 19:49

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

zoux posted:

It's cool the other 29,999,700 are in Nevada.

That's a false flag within a false flag.

# ¿ May 16, 2014 20:14

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

You can now read the conservative manifesto "Reform, Restore, Modernize - An Agenda to Restore the American Dream". From the title, I have to assume they don't intend to reform or modernize the American Dream. None of it is particularly surprising. I think "Replace Obamacare to fix health care problems without raising costs or shrinking the workforce" is my favorite bullet point.

# ¿ May 16, 2014 21:29

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Jeb Magruder, head of CReEP and the last surviving attendee of the meeting where Operation Gemstone was approved died today at age 79. There was no extra deathbed confession, so his assertion that Nixon specifically told Attorney General Mitchell to target the DNC will be the last word on the matter.

End of an era.

Joementum fucked around with this message at 22:31 on May 16, 2014

# ¿ May 16, 2014 22:26

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Old James posted:

According to Wikipedia G. Gordon Liddy is still alive somewhere being horrible. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G._Gordon_Liddy

He wasn't present at the meeting.

# ¿ May 17, 2014 02:52

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Old James posted:

Not trying to be a dick, but it says here he led the meeting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Gemstone

It's a minor point, but those were the presentations of the plan. Mitchell gave the go-ahead in a later meeting without Liddy present. And Magruder's claim that Nixon was the one who wanted to target the DNC is from him overhearing Nixon's voice on a phone.

But yeah, Liddy is still alive and being awful.

# ¿ May 17, 2014 12:53

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Obama is said to have offered Julian Castro a cabinet post, which he's inclined to accept. OMB would seem to be the likeliest with Burwell moving to HHS.

# ¿ May 17, 2014 16:07

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

According to the Post, Castro's getting HUD, with Donovan possibly moving to OMB.

# ¿ May 17, 2014 17:43

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

The Democrats changed the rules in the Senate last year so that executive appointments only require a 50 vote threshold. The Republicans can delay it for a few days and eat up time in the Senate, but they can't block it.

# ¿ May 17, 2014 19:45

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Miss Beazley (pictured here with Barney) died today after suffering from lymphoma. RIP. :911:

:911:

# ¿ May 17, 2014 21:56

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

hobbesmaster posted:

Those Scottish terriers and the cat were the best part of the Bush administration.

They are now all dead :smith:

:smith:

# ¿ May 17, 2014 22:22

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Best Presidential pet was obviously the Coolidges pet raccoons Rebecca and Horace. They were given to the President as a Thanksgiving gift from the Mississippi delegation who intended them to be eaten (of course), but Calvin kept them as pets instead.

They also had pet lion cubs, a donkey, a goose, a bobcat, a pygmy hippo, and a wallaby.

# ¿ May 17, 2014 22:30

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

John McCain was a fan of a home run by Paul Goldschmidt at the Diamondbacks game last night.

# ¿ May 18, 2014 10:01

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

At today's USO event with Sesame Street, Rep. Howard Coble discussed the F-22 with an expert.

While Nancy Pelosi seems like she might not be entirely behind the First Lady's children's diet initiative.

# ¿ May 22, 2014 00:11

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

By the way, a 17 year old girl won a primary election for West Virginia state legislator last week and is now heavily favored to win in the general election.

Here's her platform.

I believe the children are our fuuuuuuutuuuuuurrreeeeeee.....

# ¿ May 22, 2014 01:24

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 16:43

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Lucky for her, she was able to run to the left of the incumbent by pledging not to secede from the United States.

# ¿ May 22, 2014 01:31

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