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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Post here with grades and/or evaluation of each player your team picked in the 2014 NFL draft. Be as detailed as you like.

Since an objective grade would be pointless, grades should reflect your own personal reaction to your team's (probably bad) choices.


Edit: reworded to be more clear

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 01:14 on May 11, 2014

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Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
Really like the Vikings draft overall. Not having the pressure to start Teddy from Day One should help his development, and the price to get him wasn't bad at all. While Cassel is Not Good, we could do worse to bridge to Teddy.

Hoping Yankey can show something, anything, to supplant Charlie Johnson because gently caress that guy.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
49ers

Round 1, Pick 30 (30) Jimmie Ward SS 5'11" 193 Northern Illinois
Will play nickle back in the immediate future, probable starter (his competition is Eric Wright and Perrish Cox). Could take over as starting FS in two years, when they can move on from Bethea's contract. Has added benefit of likely knocking Cox off the roster.
Fills a position of need while providing positional flexibility, but a slight reach, B+

Round 2, Pick 25 (57) Carlos Hyde RB 6'0" 230 Ohio St.
Great pass catcher, great run blocker, great short yardage hammer. Will probably be used in diamond formation multi-back sets. Unlike any other RB already on the roster.
Will provide a unique tool for the team, B+

Round 3, Pick 6 (70) Marcus Martin C 6'3" 320 USC
Starting quality Center with ability to play guard if needed.
Fills a need, and at a great value, A

Round 3, Pick 13 (77) Chris Borland ILB 5'11" 248 Wisconsin
Small, slow, tiny arms. Reads plays well, but is strictly a gap filler. Will probably max out as a special teamer and short yard run stopper.
Would have strongly prefered Carl Bradford, D

Round 3, Pick 36 (100) Brandon Thomas OG 6'3" 317 Clemson
Quality guard who dropped in the draft because of injury. Will redshirt his first year, probably start in place of Iupati at LG next year.
Doesn't take up a roster spot this year, will be a future starter, A

Round 4, Pick 6 (106) Bruce Ellington WR 5'9" 197 South Carolina
Speedy, sneaky WR with great ball skills. Can play in slot and help at kick/punt return. Sexy.
Fills a need, taken at a great spot, A

Round 4, Pick 29 (129) Dontae Johnson CB 6'2" 200 N.C. State
Tall, straight-line speed DB with a terrible backpedal. Project.
Is not Pierre Desir, F

Round 5, Pick 10 (150) Aaron Lynch OLB 6'5" 249 South Florida
Potential starting quality OLB with immense character questions. Apparently has an Adderall prescription, so I'm at least glad the Seahawks didn't get him.
Low risk, high reward, C

Round 5, Pick 30 (170) Keith Reaser CB 5'10" 189 Florida Atlantic
Fast (4.3 40), strong (22 reps on bench), physical freak. Had a blown ACL a year ago, graft was rejected and needed a second surgery recently. Redshirt his first year.
Low risk, high reward, C

Round 6, Pick 4 (180) Kenneth Acker CB 6'0" 190 SMU
He's a guy who does things on defense, fairly well according to people who've actually seen him play.
JAG, C

Round 7, pick 28 (243) Kaleb Ramsey DE 6'3" 293 Boston College
Defensive line depth, possible two way player at TE. Old, has an injury history.
JAG, D

Round 7, pick 30 (245) Trey Millard FB 6'2" 247 Oklahoma
Provides "competition" for Bruce Miller, possibly could play TE. May need a redshirt season due to recent injury.
JAG, C

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 01:12 on May 11, 2014

Chris Christie
Dec 26, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
I give the 49ers a solid A. I base this solely on the fact that I liked and recognized every guy they drafted up until the CB from N.C. State, and them getting a few guys who I thought were the best in the draft at their position - Hyde (RB), Martin (C), and Ellington (PR/KR). Also not having to use any of the picks on WR by trading for Johnson from the Bills.

They addressed every complaint I had about last years team, the two most notable ones being LaMichael James allowed to return punts and the running game not producing against Seattle. The Tackle from Clemson can't play this year obviously, but that's why they got him way lower than he would have gone. But I expect Hyde and Martin to make the run game better now.

Also they drafted a FB. I have no clue who the guy is or if he's any good, but losing Miller to injury last year really hurt so I'm hopeful they're confident the guy they drafted can fill that role well if Miller were to get hurt again.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Not sure how he projects to the pros but Trey Millard was really great at Oklahoma. A truly complete offensive player. Great lead blocker, pass protector, pass catcher, and a pretty solid rusher too. He could be a really nice late round pick for San Francisco.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

The Bengals may not have made any good picks for the team after the second round and one of those two guys is a rapist. I think Russel Bodine is a robot and won't be able to handle the speed or moves of NFL defenders at all, with the added bonus of not being able to overpower them as often. Will Clarke is a chill looking dude which is a lot of bonus points. I hate AJ McCarron and would rather give Andy Dalton top 5 quarterback money than to give that guy a shot. Cincinnati drafted a receiver who mostly didn't do any football things but he was on a Tiger team. they're grrrrrrrreat

I don't know anything about college football.

Rating: C and a half

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

Did the Niners not trade a single pick? That's .. surprising.

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
They traded back a few times.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
I'm very happy with the Niners' draft, Baalke is pretty impressive.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Dubious posted:

Did the Niners not trade a single pick? That's .. surprising.

They actually picked up an extra through trades. Plus Stevie Johnson.

Real hurthling!
Sep 11, 2001




Jets: Overall A

i don't know enough to grade idividual guys but this is the first time in a long time that the jets had a lot of picks and an opportunity to gain depth.

They needed a safety, multiple wide recievers, a tight end, and depth on the line and in the defensive backfield.

They got that and another QB that Rex Ryan's son played with at clemson so, have a nice life where ever you end up, Matty Simms.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK
Chiefs get a D. Ford and Gaines were pretty bad but Thomas is interesting and Murray should be better than Smith. Canada Tackle owns also

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009
Cincinnati Bengals

Round 1, Pick 24 Darqueze Dennard CB

I love this pick. Terence Newman and Adam Jones are pretty old, and youth is very much needed. A

Round 2, Pick 55 Jeremy Hill

As a football fan I love this pick. Any pick that gets BJGE out of the backfield is a good pick. I just hope he is on a very short leash in terms of bad behavior. B+

Round 3, Pick 88 William Clarke

I'm guessing he was chosen as Michael Johnson's replacement. More d-line is cool. B+

Round 4, Pick 111 Russell Bodine

I didn't like trading up for him, but center was a big need for the team. B

Round 5, Pick 164 A.J McCarron

My first inclination is to hate the pick. After some thought, I don't care. He isn't going to play except in preseason. C

Round 6, Pick 212 Marquis Flowers

Linebacker depth is cool, I guess. C

Round 7, Pick 239 James Wright

Why are we picking a WR who hasn't caught a ball in over a year? F

Round 7, Pick 252 Lavelle Westbrooks

CB depth is cool. C

Overall

They got a lot of depth in this draft. Any draft that gets rid of BJGE is a good one. B

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

Parmesan Basil posted:

Chiefs get a D. Ford and Gaines were pretty bad but Thomas is interesting and Murray should be better than Smith. Canada Tackle owns also

please tell me what you saw in gaines when you watched rice play

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Groucho Marxist posted:

please tell me what you saw in gaines when you watched rice play

I should say it was a bad pick. Maybe he'll be good, who knows. We had other needs to drop picks on.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Patriots reaction

1-29 DT Dominique Easley. Okay, so he's had 2 torn ACL's, but would've been drafted super high if healthy. Should be healthy by training camp and is a significant boom or bust kind of guy. Probably a pretty good bet to make for the last few years of Brady's career, okay, I'm down with this. B

2-30 (62) QB Jimmy Garoppolo. gently caress you. F

7 remaining guys in rounds 4-7: A RB, 3 linemen, DE, Safety and WR. A bunch of depth and rotational guys. Would of rather had a TE or another DB instead of the 3rd lineman, but whatever. B

The 4th round picks look interesting, and if any of those develop, this has potential, but jesus, a QB in the 2nd round Bill? I'm guessing a C here overall.

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

My gut reaction is to give the Panthers a C+. Benjamin is high risk, high reward, Turner/Ealy are great, and the rest are JAGs. I like that we addressed DB, but Boston in the fourth was a reach -- I follow UNC football and don't really care for the guy, plus there's a logjam at safety with him in the fold. Moving up to draft a mid-major dude in the fifth was puzzling as well, and what would a Panthers draft be without yet another loving running back? Hope we make some nice finds in UDFA.

RumbleFish fucked around with this message at 01:02 on May 11, 2014

Emanuel Collective
Jan 16, 2008

by Smythe
Bears:

Rd 1 - #14(14) Kyle Fuller (CB) Va Tech: B. The Bears desperately needed a young guy in the secondary, and Fuller was probably the second-best guy available. I doubt he'll be anywhere as good as Tillman, but he should be a good replacement for Tim Jennings. Was going to give them a B- because Darqueze Dennard was available, but the run on DBs after this pick made this much wiser in retrospect

Rd 2 - #19(51) Ego Ferguson (DT) LSU: C-. The Bears also desperately needed young linemen, though they can afford to take fliers on projects for a year or two. Ferguson is definitely a project: only started one year in college, was a highly recruited guy coming out of high school, and is athletic. But None of his combine numbers really jumped out at me, and he's been criticized for getting blown off the line of scrimmage at times-the last thing the Bears D-Line needs. Louis Nix was available. And this pick makes a hell of a lot less sense given:

Rd 3 - #18(82) Will Sutton (DT) Arizona St: A. Would have loved even had they taken him in the second round. There's a very good chance he winds up the best player out of this Bears draft class. There's also a very good chance he starts this year, given Jay Ratliff's health.

Rd 4 - #17(117) Ka'Deem Carey (RB) Arizona: B-. I liked Carey in college but I had no idea how abysmal his combine results were. But he's a good receiver and has good lateral speed, so he'll be a solid fit in Emery's offense. I doubt he can be the short yardage back the Bears really need, but I don't know if there were any guys like that left at this point in the draft.

Rd 4 - #31(131) Brock Vereen (S) Minnesota. A-. While the safety class had a big drop off after the first few picks, Vereen was probably the best of the rest. Another really good value pick. No idea if he can play free safety though, which is where he's most likely to play this year. Probably can't be worse than Chris Conte or Major Wright.

Rd 6 - #7(183) David Fales (QB) San Jose St: B+. Fales has a weak babby arm and tends to lob the ball, but he's got great accuracy and timing on short and medium throws. In other words, he's perfect for Emery's system. Don't be surprised if Fales has a few good games subbing in for Cutler and sparks another dumb QB controversy

Rd 6 - #15(191) Pat O'Donnell (P) Miami: A. Yeah yeah, its a cardinal rule that you shouldn't draft punters. But O'Donnell is a freak: ran a faster 40 than Carey, had nearly as many reps as Ferguson, and most importantly, averaged over 47 yards on punts last year. An immediate upgrade over Podelesh and should be the Bears punter for years.

Rd 7 - #31(246) Charles Leno (OT) Boise St: A. Great value, no idea why he fell this far. The Bears O-line really needs more depth, and Leno can play guard and tackle.

Overall: B+. The Bears got players at all the positions they needed, capitalized on a lot of late round picks, and Phil Emery made only one patented head scratcher of a selection. Only thing missing was a kick returner.

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

Parmesan Basil posted:

I should say it was a bad pick. Maybe he'll be good, who knows. We had other needs to drop picks on.

so its a bad pick because of need? watch dee ford play man i dont give a gently caress if the chiefs already have pass rushers

amaranthine
Aug 27, 2009
I AM A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING
Cleveland Browns

It's very evident that the front office had a plan for this draft, and they stuck to it. Some poo poo happened that makes the draft look a little weird - but in a vacuum, it's really good.

Round one, pick 8 (8): Justin Gilbert
CB, 6'0", 202, Oklahoma State
Will be expected to start immediately across from Joe Haden. Pettine's defenses, particularly when they were carrying Mark Sanchez to the playoffs, depended heavily on having two quality man corners. Justin Gilbert is definitely that. Not so much of a run stopper, but he's not going to be asked to do much of that - his job is to remove a receiver from the play. Has high upside, but is already good enough to start. Also has the added benefit of pushing Buster Skrine to his more natural position covering the slot, which he could be really good at.

Additionally, this pick was from a trade back, in which the Browns acquired a first-round pick and a fourth-round pick next year from the Bills. The Bills, historically, are not a good team. If patterns hold, it'll be a high pick and a huge boon to the team. Considering the player and the trade, a definite A from me.

Round one, pick 22 (22): Johnny loving Football
QB, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL A&M
Nobody knows how this pick will work out. Could be an absolute disaster, could be great. I'm not even going to pretend to know what it'll be. That being said, a lot of draft "experts" wanted the Browns to take him at 4. Getting him at 22 after a widely-documented fall is a pretty good value, and the Browns certainly needed to address the quarterback position. If he's poo poo, we'll deal with it. I give it a B because it's pretty much a coinflip and the Browns rarely get lucky, but who knows?

Round two, pick 3 (35): Joel Bitonio
OL, 6'4", 302, Nevada
Hugely versatile lineman who can play guard or tackle - also rumored to be able to play center if Alex Mack shits out on us. Very good player at a huge position of need - a lot of people assume Cleveland has a great offensive line because of Mack/Thomas, but the guard play has been terrible for several years now. I liked him a little less than Su'a-Filo, who went two picks earlier to Houston, but he's a better fit in the zone blocking scheme that Shanahan will probably implement (he's faster) and makes a lot of sense on the team. Also, his dad used to be an MMA fighter, so maybe he can punch James Harrison out or something. Added value. A-

Round three, pick 7 (71): Christian Kirksey
ILB, 6'2", 233, Iowa
Seemed a little weird at first glance until interviews came out. He was projected as a lower-round pick because he was often listed as an OLB, and he's too small to be a highly efficient pass rusher. It's come out in interviews with Pettine that they also want to play him at ILB, and that makes a lot of sense. He's similarly sized to our current (terrible) ILB, Craig Robertson, but he's better in pass coverage and can actually tackle. Pettine's going to throw him into the weight room and bulk him up, I think, but I wouldn't be shocked if he starts at ILB at some point in the year. B- for being a reach (probably a round early or so), but I really like how he fits in the scheme and what he can do.

Round three, pick 30 (94): Terrence West
RB, 5'9", 225, Towson
The best. His film's amazing, albeit against obviously inferior talent. Cuts very quickly, runs hard, doesn't get tackled easily at all. Good at catching the ball, which is nice because the Browns have no receivers. Could be this offense's Alfred Morris, if not better. Lots of draft experts saying they wouldn't be shocked if he was the best running back from this draft, which would be nice. Also he's :3: as gently caress and has a cool story about selling shoes and walking on, seems like a cool guy. Fans here will love the poo poo out of him. A for sure, nice value and if we're not going to ever have any receivers we might as well have cool-rear end running backs.

Round four, pick 27 (127): Pierre Desir
CB, 6'1", 198, Lindenwood
Another really cool guy with an awesome story - got his girlfriend pregnant at 16, played at several D2 schools while raising a family (and marrying his girlfriend), first-generation Haitian immigrant. Big-bodied CB in today's NFL, might be a little slow (ran a 4.55 which is ok but not great) but could probably get moved to FS if need be. Good at man coverage, which again, is what Pettine wants. Word was that if he was a bigger-school guy he'd have probably gone early second, so this is absolutely a great value pick worthy of an A.

So there's the problem. Every pick was good value at a position of need (save one, which may or may not have been a slight reach), and they all make sense for the team. In addition, the Browns picked up a 1st-, 4th-, and 6th-round pick in next year's draft. They still have no wide receivers, and will be throwing to castoffs and leftovers from other teams, but gently caress it. First time in years that I like every player the team's picked. Draft gets an A, Ray Farmer is great, allahu akbar.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Groucho Marxist posted:

so its a bad pick because of need? watch dee ford play man i dont give a gently caress if the chiefs already have pass rushers

I watched Bridgewater play and we could have easily had him instead but we didn't because Dorsey's an idiot. It's an F.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Instead of going through and looking for a way to justify giving A and B grades to each of Philly's picks, I'll just say that we seem to have made some good selections for filling our glaring defensive and WR needs. I am probably most excited for Watkins, although seeing how our new WRs will fit into the team will be interesting, but I hope that Maclin can stay healthy for once.

Also we drafted this guy, so that's pretty cool.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
Lions:

1 (10). Eric Ebron - TE, North Carolina
We already have a receiver who can get open but has terrible hands, except he can block. Supposedly Ebron will fit more of a Jimmy Graham type role. That could be fun, but we had several far more pressing needs that could easily have been addressed. Millenesque gamble. C

2 (40). Kyle Van Noy - OLB, BYU
gently caress yeah. The dominant player on a very good defense, reunited with his old teammate in Ziggy Ansah. Also fills a position of need (although we may be in Nickel all the goddamn time again because corner wasn't well addressed). A

3 (76). Travis Swanson - C, Arkansas
Can play guard, but will most likely be groomed as Dominic Raiola's replacement while spelling Sims and Warford on occasion. Solid pick. B+

4 (133). Nevin Lawson - CB, Utah State
Our annual late round corner that will struggle for snaps with all of the other ones we've drafted over the years. Projected as a 7th rounder/priority free agent, if NFL.com is at all trustworthy. But at least it's a position we desperately needed! C

4 (136). Larry Webster - DE, Bloomsburg
Some more pass rushing help is always nice, but this small school product--a huge former basketball player--might move to tight end. Because we need four tight ends. C-

5 (158). Caraun Reid - DT, Princeton
Could be a nice addition to the rotation. Good size and supposedly pretty versatile. B

6 (189). T.J. Jones - WR, Notre Dame
I don't know anything about this guy. Kind of small, probably a special teamer. C

7 (229). Nate Freese - K, Boston College
After David Akers, A+++++++++++

Overall: B-. Still reeling from the Ebron pick, but Van Noy and Swanson are huge pickups and there's some decent potential in the day three guys.

HappyHelmet
Apr 9, 2003

Hail to the king baby!
Grimey Drawer
Grading picks is silly at this stage so I'll just give my opinions:

Seattle Seahawks

2nd round (45) Paul Richardson WR Colorado

After trading down twice to number 45 the Seahawks finally make a pick, and take a WR with high upside... and legit injury concerns. I guess with Sidney Rice leaving the team they needed to shore up their "WRs who spend half their time in a cast on the bench" quota. I did like what I saw of his highlights and really hope he pans out, but right now I can't say I'm a huge fan of the pick.

2nd round (64) Justin Britt OT Missouri

I get that Tom Cable knows what he is doing on the line, and it's best to let him get the guys he wants. However, when it's the 2nd round and the guy he wants is rated as an at best 6th rounder just about everywhere, maybe you should hold off on taking him there. Possibly a good pick and will supposedly be seeing time at RT, but come on that was too early.

4th round (108) Cassius Marsh DE UCLA

Good football name, love what I have seen in highlights so far. Guy seemed like a bit of a doofus in the interview I saw of him on Youtube, but otherwise no complaints with this move. Hope he can chip in at the Leo position next season.

4th round (123) Kevin Norwood WR Alabama

Good value pick at a position of need for Seattle. Seems like the kind of guy who can go up and make plays on the ball. He'll be an especially good pick if he turns into a good red zone target. With Seattle taking 2 WRs I think this may mean Kearse (who disappeared after a promising early start in the season) is on his way out.

4th round (132) Kevin Pierre-Louis OLB Boston College

Depth move at a position Seattle was deceptively thin at last year. Will likely play behind Bruce Irvin at WOLB I'm guessing. Could be a replacement for Malcolm Smith when it's time for him to get a contract the team likely can't afford.

5th round (172) Jimmy Staten DT Middle Tennessee State

Not a lot of info on this guy. Like seriously, almost nothing at all. So just have to wait and see.

6th round (199) Garrett Scott OT Marshall

Another Tom Cable project player for him to toy around with on the line. Expect to see him rotated around the line at various spots, especially in the pre-season.

6th round (208) Eric Pinkins S San Diego State

Bad football name. Will supposedly be trying out at CB for Seattle. Had a good pro day apparently. Outside of that I got nothing.

7th round (227) Kiero Small FB Arkansas

Will compete with Derrick Coleman I guess? Likely practice squad fodder.

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
Round 1, Pick 5 (5) Khalil Mack OLB 6'3" 251 Buffalo 7.2

Amazing value meets need. A+++++++

Round 2, Pick 4 (36) Derek Carr QB 6'2" 214 Fresno St. 6.1

Good value, needed QB. A

Round 3, Pick 17 (81) (From Dolphins) Gabe Jackson OG 6'3" 336 Mississippi St. 5.7

Need + Value. A+
Round 4, Pick 7 (107) Justin Ellis DT 6'1" 334 Louisiana Tech 5.3

Need + Value. A

Round 4, Pick 16 (116) (From Dolphins) Keith McGill CB 6'3" 211 Utah 5.4

Huge Corner ala Sean Smith. Boom/Bust pick but great value. B

Round 7, Pick 4 (219) Travis Carrie CB 6'0" 206 Ohio 5.3

Injured CB, but could be used for PR. B

Round 7, Pick 20 (235) (From Cardinals) Shelby Harris DE 6'2" 288 Illinois St. 5.0

Uhhhh straight up headcase. A+++++

Round 7, Pick 32 (247) (From Seahawks) Jonathan Dowling SS 6'3" 190 Western Kentucky 5.3
Another headcase. A+++++



A++++++ Best draft in last decade, Transcendent

Groucho Marxist
Dec 9, 2005

Do you smell what The Mauk is cooking?

Parmesan Basil posted:

I watched Bridgewater play and we could have easily had him instead but we didn't because Dorsey's an idiot. It's an F.

ok just confirming your Strong Opinion on dee ford is based on never watching him play or anything

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
Ravens Reaction


1-17 C.J. Mosely, LB, Alabama

Never draft an Alabama defender. Especially don't draft an Alabama defender whose skill set is identical to a player you already have on the roster. Absolutely should have traded back in this spot.
D

2-48 Timmy Jernigan, DT, FSU

Definitely had bigger needs but it's hard to argue against the value of this pick. My only major concern here is that he may not be a natural scheme fit and that the line is now loaded with young potential so someone's reps and development are going to suffer.
B

3-79 Terrance Brooks, FS, FSU

Big need, by far the best player on the board at this position, and probably someone who should have been taken 10 picks earlier. The only problem here is that Brooks' opportunity cost was a good WR or RB and this makes the second draft in a row that the Ravens have gone DL, S, and MLB in the first three picks.
A-

3-99 Crocket Gillmore, TE, Colorado St

Blocking TE that was way over drafted. Guy would have been available at the end of the fourth almost certainly. Reminds me a lot of the over draft of FB Kyle Juzzyck last year. Gillmore should be equally useless as a weapon but at least he can block.
D+

4-134 Brent Urban, DE, Virginia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9HV5O8Un6k
F-

4-138 Lorenzo Taliaferro, RB, Coastal Carolina

Blocking Running Back. A need but the player is way over drafted. Another guy that should have been there two rounds later. You'd think instead of drafting two glorified fullbacks we would take the RT we needed. You would be wrong. But how could you have knowm? You couldn't. You are not the grand sage, the unimaginable genius, that is Ozzie Newsome.
D

5-175 John Urscel, G, Penn State

Finally O-line. Too bad it's the 5th round, the wrong position, and there were better players on the board. Still probably a good depth signing or someone to eventually challenge for C since Zutah is seen as fairly meh.
C

6-194 Keith Wenning, QB, Ball State

We needed someone to replace Tyrod and this is technically someone.
C+

7-218 Michael Campanero, WR, Wake Forest

Trade up for next year's 6th so he is a essentially a 6th round pick. Has the skill set to develop into a solid West Coast possession receiver though ironically his route running is currently really raw. First Ravens fan to go to the team as a draft pick. Considering the late round this is well worth whatever bust potential Campanero has.
B

The Puppy Bowl fucked around with this message at 01:49 on May 11, 2014

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
We got OBJ. Good pick. Fills a hole as well as providing talent.

We got a center. Weston Richburg. Great name. Don't know much about him cause I didn't follow him but hell yes, we needed a goddamn center

Jay Bromley. DT. Maybe a depth pick but might work in our rotation. Don't really know what to think.

Andre Williams. RB out of BC. Seems like a tough little dude. I like it. Should compliment Rashad Jennings. Also apparently a poet, maybe we can get our own Arian Foster.

Nat Berhle. Safety. Seems to play close to the line, had an AMA on reddit recently and seemed like a good guy. Hopefully he can fill the smokey hole left by Will Hill

Two guys who are whatever at OLB and CB. Neither will likely see the field. Maybe the OLB.

We addressed some big needs well early on, so overall I come away happy, but what the gently caress are we going to do at TE. We needed one. We didn't even throw a late round pick at one. What the gently caress Reese. Now I'm worried we are going to sign the medical risk of finley if he gets cleared.

Paracausal
Sep 5, 2011

Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.
The Bills were Jekyll and Hyde this weekend, making both really good picks and downright confusing ones.
Overall here are the trades they made with the draft.



So you basically swap Stevie Johnson for Bryce Brown. I can wear that now we have depth at WR. Stevie is a cool personality but hasn't gelled particularly well with the new front office or coaching staff. Giving up next years 1st rounder for Sammy Watkins is a bit of a wtf move, but if you think you can win now and really want a player, best have some conviction I guess.


Round 1, Pick 4 (From Browns) - Sammy Watkins WR Clemson
Considered the most explosive receiver in the draft and, by many, the best receiver prospect to come into the league since the 2011 duo of A.J. Green and Julio Jones, Watkins walks into Buffalo as the team's No. 1 receiving target. Seems like a really high character player and knows the knocks on him, basically getting screens from Tajh Boyd all the time. Great player, just hope he's worth the high price.


Round 2, Pick 12 (44) (From Rams) - Cyrus Kouandjio OT Bama
This dude looked pissed as all hell that he fell to the 2nd round. Did an MCL and ACL 2 years ago which was apparently a big enough flag for him to fall to day 2. Should be a day 1 starter at RT which was a real need, just hope his knee holds up. Picked him up after trading down a few spots.


Round 3, Pick 9 (73) - Preston Brown ILB Louisville
Seems to be a Spikes clone, run stuffing LB to help add depth to a pretty good group right now. Should contribute on special teams right away.


Round 4, Pick 9 (109) - Ross Cockrell CB Duke
Cockrell fits the template for what the Bills like in defensive backs: big and tough, and he adds ball skills and strong character to the equation, as well. He adds much-needed size and depth to the Bills' cornerback corps, could project to safety over the long haul as well.


Round 5, Pick 13 (153) (From Rams) - Cyril Richardson OG Baylor
Slid in the draft thanks to a bad week at the Senior Bowl and questions about his work ethic and consistency. At 6'5", 329-pound he is a powerful run blocker that is a potential long-term starter if he reaches his full potential. It is not out of the question that he can push for a starting job in Buffalo as a rookie.


Round 7, Pick 6 (221) (From Buccaneers) - Randell Johnson OLB Florida Atlantic
Camp body


Round 7, Pick 22 (237) (From Eagles) - Seantrel Henderson OT Miami
Can't drive. Weed dude. Failed drug test at the combine, so real dumb. Quit his pro day before finishing, apparently dehydrated. Worth a 7th round flyer for the talent he has though.


Overall, added a lot of good depth to the O-Line, even if they all have a concern, added an absolute weapon for EJ in Watkins, put in some good depth pieces on the D but gave away some future draft assets too cheaply: 7/10

Paracausal fucked around with this message at 01:46 on May 11, 2014

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Detroit Lions:

Eric Ebron, TE

A+, talented guy whose drop problems won't be as bad in the pros.

Kyle Van Noy, OLB

A+, cool guy whose lack of clear strength won't be an issue in the pros.

Travis Swanson, C

A+, future successor of Dominic Raiola whose tendency to get bowled over will be fixed in the pros.

Nevin Lawson, CB

A+, small guy when our new DC prefers large corners, so going against his philosophy must prove that he's got something planned.

Larry Webster, DE

A+, I don't know much about him but why not.

Caraun Reid, DT

A+, pure perfection and future Hall of Famer. Will leave fans saying, "Ndamukong WHO?" in a few years.

T.J. Jones, WR

A+, not a safety but that's fine, perfectly fine.

Nate Freese, K

A+, Jason Hanson's successor.

If draft day is the best part of the Lions season, then there's a large margin for future error. :D

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.
Titans

Taylor Lewan is a huge piece of poo poo who will be the next Richie Incognito and Tennessee just resigned Roos and signed Oher (which, eh) and there were several needs, but Lewan does have talent and it's someone I've heard of. C+

Bishop Sankey is someone I've heard of and might've seen roughshod on a team or two, also, proof that Shonne Green won't have to carry the entire load, which isn't something I want to see, but I kind've wished Tennessee had drafted Tre Mason, but whatever, it's not Carlos Hyde and this is a good thing. A-

DaQuan Jones is someone I've vaguely heard of and did okay at Penn State, also, defense is good need, so, A.

Marqueston Huff is a name I saw on a draft preview once. Erm, hmm. Cornerback. Alright. A or whatever, I don't know

Avery Williamson, never heard of him. From the Joker Phillips UK, which raises alarm, but made it through the Stoops changeover. I don't know. Maybe okay? B-ish? I'm just throwing darts at the board blindfolded at this point.

That LSU shithead. Whatever. I guess QB got addressed, but he'll flop, and we're probably dropping Locker, so... what are we doing? Going to tank and try to get Winston? But it's not Garrett Gilbert, ha ha ha ha, so I'll count my blessings. D

Probably not the world's greatest idea to do this when I don't have an in-depth knowledge of the draft beyond watching a limited selection of NCAA games, but there you go, a visceral reaction.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Patriots

The Patriots came into the offseason needing some immediate fixes to obvious problems in order to milk the last remaining year or two of Brady. They addressed the secondary with some expensive rentals of two of the best available players. That still left them with the following issues:

- Very little quality offensive line depth.
- No legitimate pass rusher.
- Wilfork backup and eventual replacement.
- No reliable wide receivers besides Edelman.
- No quality TE's besides Gronk, who's recovery timeframe and ultimate health status is highly questionable.
- Nothing decent at safety besides McCourty.
- Need for more athletic linebacks who can actually play in coverage.

With the draft the Patriots made a very risky stab at solving the pass rush problem, and also drafted a bunch of offensive line depth. But they took a giant poo poo on anything else that needed to be done by drafting a quarterback who probably won't even be on the team when Brady is done. And I'm really not sure why they needed to draft another running back, other than they don't want to pay Ridley or Vereen in the future. But both of these moves are sacrificing the present for the future. Which is the opposite of what they should be doing now.

D

Impossibly Perfect Sphere fucked around with this message at 01:48 on May 11, 2014

Roasted Donut
Aug 24, 2007

NWA WHITE POWERRR!!!!
ok hey let's go with first impressions

Ryan Shazier, LB, Ohio State

Not a big fan but whatever he's their guy I guess. I just wish Vince Williams was getting another chance since he looked pretty good last year. A position of need, but not nearly as much as others. They apparently want to let him run wild in sub packages which means Polamalu wouldn't be paling a psuedo linebacker role there anymore so that can only be a good thing. I hope he proves me wrong and owns, which he probably will because the Steelers will always have their linebackers, god dammit

Stephon Tuitt, DL, Notre Dame

Best pick in the draft by far. Love him and he's going to be an absolute monster. Him and Cam Heyward are going to be a really sick DE combo for years to come. Really great value in the second round also.

Dri Archer, RB, Kent State

Dri Archer is probably the coolest dude in the entire draft and I'm psyched as hell to have him. He's going to improve our lovely return game tremendously (seriously, felix jones was the primary kick returner last year) and it means that we don't have to risk Antonio Brown on punt returns anymore. I expect him to line up in the slot a bunch or run go routes and it'll be cool seeing him burn defenses at the end of a game after Bell and Blount grind them down. I love me some MACtion.

Martavis Bryant, WR, Clemson

There were so many awesome WRs in this draft that I wanted and Bryant wasn't one of them. He's loving huge and really fast but has straight up dicks for hands. He's a total project, so if he works out getting him in the 4th will be an absolute steal, and if not, hey it's a fourth round pick and the bar is Limas Sweed so it'll be gravy. Hopefully he won't knock Derek Moye off the team.

Shaquille Richardson, CB, Arizona

CB was the Steelers biggest need and it sucks that it wasn't addressed until this late but organizationally they just don't give a poo poo about CBs so whatever. I guess he's ok, decent size, was pretty good at times in college but also pretty bad at times. Would have really liked to see CB addressed earlier (DENNARD) and more often, but it'll have to do. Also this dude stole purses and got kicked out of UCLA so he's really cool

Wesley Johnson, OT, Vandy

Figured they would take a tackle somewhere late and this dude looks pretty good. Can play pretty much anywhere on the line so he can be our new swiss army knife so Beachum can stay at LT for good like he should. Never called for a holding penalty in 3000+ snaps in college, but needs to beef up some. Held his own against Clowney. Seems like a pretty solid pick and a new toy for Munchak to work on (after he fixes Gilbert and Adams).

Jordan Zumwalt, LB, UCLA

lmao look at this dickhead's name. I guess he's mainly an ILB but can move outside if they need him to. Probably won't be anything but a special teams contributor, which is fine, because as noted with Dri Archer, our special teams have been garbage for awhile now.

Daniel McCullers, NT, Tennessee

This dude is like 6'6" 352 pounds holy gently caress. Flashed some really good stuff in college but is still pretty raw. John Mitchell is a really good dline coach so hopefully he can do some good work with him. Not sure where he'll fit right away as McLendon is the undisputed starter and they signed Cam Thomas to back him up/maybe play DE so time will tell. If he plays well enough to make the team they'll probably slide Thomas to end and Nick Williams will be poo poo out of luck and back to the practice squad.

Rob Blanchflower, TE, Umass

lol check out this dickhead's name. Anyways he's a huge tight end and apparently at times was Gronkowski esque, including a patented ability to be hurt all the loving time. Good lottery ticket pick, has a pretty good shot at making the team I think since David Paulson is our current third tight end and he's god drat worthless.


Overall I think I'm pretty happy with this draft after initially being pissed. The second day in particular I really love. Good job Steelers!!!! We needed a good draft really badly considering no one from 08-09 is still on the roster.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy
Packers:

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix
Big pick that fills a big need. He's not gonna be a world changer and that's not what we were looking for. We needed a solid loving safety and we got one.

Davante Adams
Yet another TT 2nd round WR. With his record I just have to believe that this dude will bullshit his way to 1000+ yards by year 2 and we'll all be laughing at how we thought he wouldn't do this, yup that sounds really loving familiar

Khyri Thornton
I have no loving idea who this guy is, and although he shares the name I was born with I have nothing of value to say about him. Don't suck?

Richard Rodgers
I liked this pick then and I like it now. Maybe he'll turn into something good.

Carl Bradford
I'm hoping this complete loving nobody turns into a solid ILB because WE REALLY loving NEED ONE, and hey bro if you're up to the task then you're god drat welcome in Green Bay, brother. Let's go.

Everyone else: hosed if I know. Never heard of these dudes, and I hope they are awesome.

Overall I give this draft a B- because most of the guys we wanted were gone before we picked. Ted gets a solid B for making the most out of what was left.I almost want to say A- because he pulled Ha Ha and didn't do some ridiculous TT First Round Bullshit­™

Fenrir fucked around with this message at 02:00 on May 11, 2014

Elotana
Dec 12, 2003

and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account
Houston Texans

1-1 Jadeveon Clowney RUSH USCe
Clowney will own. Glad they didn't overthink things. A+

2-1 Xavier Su'a-Filo OG UCLA
We had holes at guard and tackle last year, and XSF can play both although he projects better at guard. Hopefully between him and Williams getting healthy [INSERT QB HERE] will actually be able to go through more than one read. A

3-1 C.J. Fiedorowicz TE Iowa
Man what? I didn't watch Iowa but this guy had 900 yards receiving in his career, and the book on him says he is a big blocking TE who can catch a little but won't create any separation and goes down easily. Most Texans media I saw just said "he's really big! he could be Gronk!" well lots of tight ends are really big, they ain't all Gronk. I don't have anything against a blocker but this was a reach at 3-1, especially since Nix was on the board and moving up for him cost us our 4-1 and 5-1 picks. D

3-19 Louis Nix NT Notre Dame
The trade cost us but that's more because of the 3-1 reach. Lots of fans were pounding the table for Nix at 2-1 and even though we're apparently going to be in nickel a lot of the time we still needed someone to replace Earl Mitchell in base, and I have faith in Crennel to find a way to use the guy. He's also funny as poo poo. A

4-35 Tom Savage QB Pittsburgh
Great arm, terrible tape. He's also 24 years old and bounced around a ton of different systems. Maybe BOB is the QB whisperer but odds are he will suck. At least we didn't reach for him in the 2nd or 3rd. C-

6-1 Jeoffrey Pagan DE Alabama
I don't hate the pick, he was passable at Alabama, but did we really need to beef up the DL more at this point? B-

6-5 Alfred Blue RB LSU
Meh. He didn't look like anything special at LSU. C

6-35 Jay Prosch FB Auburn
I guess we needed a new Greg Jones? B-

7-1 Andre Hal CB
I like this pick, Hal was impressive against Moncrief. B+

7-41 Lonnie Ballentine FS
I have no idea who this is INC

Nibbler
Feb 13, 2007

America's Game, the way it's meant to be played.

HappyHelmet posted:

Grading picks is silly at this stage so I'll just give my opinions:

Seattle Seahawks


Just to follow up on a few things... they resigned Rice for this year for cheap. Also I highly doubt Kearse is going anywhere.. he did well at the end of the season, not sure what you saw.

They confirmed Pierre-Louis will play Will and Staten 5T.

I agree with Britt being a reach... Cable's O-line picks have been dubious. Schneider basically said that they felt the drop off at the T position was huge compared to other positions at that point and they obviously felt they needed to make a move. He'll compete with Bowie at RT to start.

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009

Elotana posted:



3-1 C.J. Fiedorowicz TE Iowa
Man what? I didn't watch Iowa but this guy had 900 yards receiving in his career, and the book on him says he is a big blocking TE who can catch a little but won't create any separation and goes down easily. Most Texans media I saw just said "he's really big! he could be Gronk!" well lots of tight ends are really big, they ain't all Gronk. I don't have anything against a blocker but this was a reach at 3-1, especially since Nix was on the board and moving up for him cost us our 4-1 and 5-1 picks. D




The leading receiver for Iowa had 388 yards this past year for the whole season. Iowa was strictly a running team. Watch the Iowa/Ohio State game if you want to see what Fiedorowicz can do.

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious
St. Louis Rams:
1 - 2 Greg Robinson OT Auburn
Will start at LG until Jake Long leaves. Owns a lot. A

1 - 13 Aaron Donald DT Pittsburgh
The Rams D-Line just got scarier. Not a need, but I love the pick. A

2 - 41 Lamarcus Joyner CB Florida State
Small, but makes plays all over the field. A

3 - 75 Tre Mason RB Auburn
This was the first pick that surprised me. As a Mizzou fan, I know how good he is, but the Rams have a lot of RBs on the roster already. It lets them get rid of Daryl Richardson, so B-.

4 - 110 Maurice Alexander S Utah State
All I know is he's from St. Louis and got kicked off the team for a year and spent 45 days in prison for punching a teammate at USU. Dunno.

6 - 188 E.J. Gaines CB Missouri
As a homer, I'm glad the Rams picked him. I'm surprised he fell to the 6th. Is a little undersized, but still shut down Mike Evans somehow. A+++

6 - 214 Garrett Gilbert QB Southern Methodist
Almost beat Alabama in the national title game at Texas. All I heard about him is he isn't very good. C?

7 - 226 Mitchell Van Dyk OT Portland State
Is massive. I know nothing about him besides that. Dunno.

7 - 241 C.B. Bryant S Ohio State
Broke his ankle in the fifth game this season. All I got. Dunno

7 - 249 Michael Sam DE Missouri
Glad he got drafted and I'm sure the Rams will find some way to use his pass rushing skillz. Homer A+

7 - 250 Demetrius Rhaney OC Tennessee State
No idea about this guy at all. Dunno.

the mean lunch lady fucked around with this message at 02:01 on May 11, 2014

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
I would do ugly, ugly to make that Ravens/Rams trade have gone through.

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Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

JRizzle posted:

St. Louis Rams:
1 - 2 Greg Robinson OT Auburn
Will start at LG until Jake Long leaves. Owns a lot. A

1 - 13 Aaron Donald DT Pittsburgh
The Rams D-Line just got scarier. Not a need, but I love the pick. A

2 - 41 Lamarcus Joyner CB Florida State
Small, but makes plays all over the field. A

3 - 75 Tre Mason RB Auburn
This was the first pick that surprised me. As a Mizzou fan, I know how good he is, but the Rams have a lot of RBs on the roster already. It lets them get rid of Daryl Richardson, so B-.

4 - 110 Maurice Alexander S Utah State
All I know is he's from St. Louis and got kicked off the team for a year and spent 45 days in prison for punching a teammate at USU. Dunno.

6 - 188 E.J. Gaines CB Missouri
As a homer, I'm glad the Rams picked him. I'm surprised he fell to the 6th. Is a little undersized, but still shut down Mike Evans somehow. A+++

6 - 214 Garrett Gilbert QB Southern Methodist
Almost beat Alabama in the national title game at Texas. All I heard about him is he isn't very good. C?

7 - 226 Mitchell Van Dyk OT Portland State
Is massive. I know nothing about him besides that. Dunno.

7 - 241 C.B. Bryant S Ohio State
Broke his ankle in the fifth game this season. All I got. Dunno

7 - 249 Michael Sam DE Missouri
Glad he got drafted and I'm sure the Rams will find some way to use his pass rushing skillz. Homer A+

7 - 250 Demetrius Rhaney OC Tennessee State
No idea about this guy at all. Dunno.

I seriously think y'all have the most terrifying defensive line in the NFL right now, holy poo poo. I'm glad the Packers don't play you this year.
Do me a favor and don't get into the playoffs, please? I don't want to see my whole team die on the field.

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