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TheGreyGhost
Feb 14, 2012

“Go win the Heimlich Trophy!”
Alas, the NFL Draft has passed, and many of us are now looking at dudes that we have no idea why we should love or hate on our NFL teams. Introduce the future of the NFL as you've gotten to watch them.

Ohio State

Ryan Shazier-Steelers
This pick made me pretty angry. Shazier is the best LB we've had since at least Laurinaitis and the best OLB since at least AJ Hawk if not before. He's super productive and constantly plugging run lanes, but his coverage skills were occasionally off. He's also really really fast. Like he could play safety if he wanted to fast. I'll be curious how he handles having to play 3-4, since he already has trouble keeping weight on. He'll probably be the run stuffing ILB in the Steelers system as a result.

Bradley Roby-Broncos
Roby occasionally makes bonehead plays and isn't much of a technician in coverage. He makes up for it by being usually the fastest dude on the field. Seriously, he's never going to get burned by a guy unless they're Usain Bolt. If he gets some decent coaching, he'll be great, but his biggest problems are just his general awareness and technique. He just needs a DC who will keep things simple for him. Also, he hits big and occasionally plays dirty. Some of you might remember him attempting to decapitate that lumbering Iowa TE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7dfQ6LFBKc. High ceiling medium floor kind of guy.

Jack Mewhort-Colts
If he had slightly longer arms, he would be a 1st rounder. He's a better version of Barrett Jones from Alabama really. He's played every position on the line. He's a bit susceptible to speed rushes on the edge (Khalil Mack gave him a hard time last year). However, at G or even RT or C, he's going to be a 12 year player. Fundamentally solid and a great technician. Coaches loved him.

Carlos Hyde-Niners
The Buckeyes will miss El Guapo a lot. He got his speed up and started hitting the hole a lot harder as a senior after being mediocre his junior year. He's a very prototypical north-south runner, has soft hands, and he can pass block better than most NFL backs at this point. Don't expect him to break a bunch of long ones. No idea how much wear and tear he has on him, but he did have two years as the feature back

Corey Linsley-Packers
Drastically underrated C prospect. He was consistent as all hell and has a lot of technical feel. Very average physically, but he should have a long NFL career just based on his level of polish. Better pass blocker than run blocker.

Christian Bryant-Rams
Undersized S prospect who is made of glass. He's okay in coverage. His tackling is really terrible, and he has some late-stage Roy Williams in him. He's a great leader though.

UDFAs

Andrew Norwell-Panthers
Should be a capable backup at the next level. Can play either G position or some RT if needed.

CJ Barnett-Giants
Really bad S who plays like a LB. Is okay as a run stopper unless you actually want the dude tackled. Terrible in coverage and should not ever be relied on there.

Corey "Philly" Brown-Panthers
Philly is a really good athlete and looks the part. He's a really unskilled route runner. He's had some really bad QBs the first few years (Bauserman and early Braxton were bad bad bad at passing). With coaching, he could definitely make a roster.

Jordan Hall-Steelers
Tragically underused because of Dontre Wilson being around. Bad luck with injuries but not prone per se. Really shifty guy who can be a nice change of pace. Was always productive when given the chance. Doesn't run with a whole lot of power. Could honestly be used as more of a receiving back or slot guy. Will probably make the roster because seriously the Steelers kept Jonathan loving Dwyer around.

Marcus Hall-Colts
Solid G at the college level with some concerns about being too fat. Super emotional player. Could surprise some people and make a roster if he keeps himself together. Is the dude who flipped off the Big House and owns hard for doing it.

Drew Basil-Panthers
Super consistent K. Leg isn't a cannon but he's not going to Nick Folk you out of a game ever.

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Frinkahedron
Jul 26, 2006

Gobble Gobble
Virginia Tech

Logan Thomas has the physical ability and the work ethic to become something special.

He came in as a tight end recruit, was asked to try out quarterback as a backup to Tyrod Taylor, then got handed the keys to an offense his first year as a starter that had 5 senior offensive linemen, David Wilson at runningback (who set an ACC rushing record that year), and two future NFL wide recievers to throw to. Logan had a first round draft pick kind of year that year. You can see where this is going the year after when everyone left. The world came crashing down as Logan had to deal with absolutely no running game, bad line play, and really loving terrible offensive coordinators. Logan was basically the entirety of Virginia Tech's offense the past 2 years and he still managed to break pretty much every QB record at Virginia Tech in 3 years of starting.

If Logan has time to continue to learn under some good coaching, I think he can absolutely become something special.

Oh also he's 6'6 260 and does stuff like this sometimes:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRUHnmEte9E

I will miss him a lot. Arizona got a great person, not to mention a great athlete.

Kyle Fuller
Kyle Fuller is the third Fuller brother to enter the NFL. And he's got a younger brother who may be even better than he is. Kyle was absolutely a lock down corner at Virginia Tech and I fully expect him to play day one in the NFL. Congrats, Bears fans.

He does cool stuff like this sometimes too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLTLkn4BVso


Antone Exum
If Antone didn't have an ACL tear a couple years ago, he'd be right up there with Kyle Fuller in the top rounds of the draft. Fantastic player who didn't really have a chance to have a great senior season as he came back from the injury. The Vikings got some great value in him and I fully expect him to contribute sooner rather than later.

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
No Texas Longhorns selected in the draft, the last time that happened was 1938.

Zypher
Sep 3, 2009

Rutgers

Your 2006
Mythical National
Champions!
:eng99: 1937. Hugh Wolfe was drafted by the Steelers in the 2nd round in 1938.

edit: The streak is kind of a lie anyway since our only pick in 1984 was a supplemental draft pick.

Zypher fucked around with this message at 18:02 on May 11, 2014

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
Texas A&M

Johnny Manziel - cool dude with a rude 'tude. Short and stocky, one of the most stunning college players of all time. Likely to be remembered by NFL fans as the White Kordell Stewart.

Jake Matthews - his dad is Oilers/Titans legend Bruce Matthews. Will probably be good for a long time, but sadly will die having never appeared in a McDonald's commercial.

Mike Evans - Small forward turned large receiver late in his high school years, Evans often looked like a man among boys on the field, catching most ill conceived lobs JFF threw his way. In the NFL will likely just look like a man among other men. Bust potential - high.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
San Jose State.

Bene Benwikere (Panthers) - He's a bit slower than you'd like, and a bit light to be a better than average tackler. On the plus (++++) side, he's up there with some of the best DBs at reacting to and locating the ball in the air, and he has the quickness and movement to get to it and make a play. If the Panthers put him in the middle of the field and let him play robber, he'll be amazing.
Projection: situational/nickle DB.

David Fales (Bears) - Not a big guy or terribly athletic, but he moves well in the pocket and can scramble when he needs to. Has great field vision, anticipation and timing. Footwork can be a bit sloppy. Throws a beautiful back shoulder fade. Not the strongest arm, but functional. Bounced around to three teams, then played in two different offensive schemes at SJSU (coaching change), passing for over 4000 yards in each. Will be a solid backup for years, and could possibly develop into a starter 3-4 years from now.
Projection: Solid career #2, highly successful substitute.

UDFAs

Chandler Jones (Browns) - The guy who stepped up when Noel Grigsby went down. Burner who plays the ball agressively. Good route runner. Hard to say if he will succeed in the NFL due to his size, but he definitely has the tools and the drive.
Projection: Backup slot receiver.

Noel Grigsby (Raiders) - SJSU's top receiver before he injured his knee. Should be fully recovered by now. Average size, average speed, but gets open and plays the ball in the air like a champ. A lot like a shorter James Jones.
Projection: Solid #2 receiver after a few years.

Keith Smith (Cowboys) - A really aggressive, dependable tackler. Decent in coverage, can make plays in zone, but not a guy who can cover man because of his (lack of) speed. Was a team captain and one of the only good points of their defensive front.
Projection: Depth, special teamer.

Ryan Jones (Ravens) - Played guard at SJSU, but I guess they're moving him to Center? Once Quessenberry left in the draft last year, I didn't think much of the SJSU O-line. Jones never did anything to impress me, but he never stood out as worse than anyone else, either.
Projection: Practice squad.

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 07:15 on May 12, 2014

mercenarynuker
Sep 10, 2008

The newest additions to the NFL from Western Michigan University:

As well as:

Cannot forget:

And, of course, epic impact play-maker:

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

University of North Texas

Brelan Chancellor - WR (UDFA Chargers) - Finished 5th in the NCAA in punt returns and 11th in kickoff returns. 5'9" 190 lbs, 4.51 40. Measurables aren't great and he has a small catching radius, but he has great agility and had decent production his senior year with 53 receptions for 792 yards and 4 touchdowns, with an average of 14.9 yards per catch. Bottom line: he has some real potential on special teams with a chance to develop as a slot receiver.

...well ok that's all I've got see ya

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
Case Western and Cleveland State University.

Uhhhhh....poo poo.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


Your Northwestern UDFAs:

Tyler Scott, DE, Minnesota Vikings

Led the Big Ten in sacks in 2012. The best pass rusher on the mighty Northwestern defense for the past two years and someone who was capable of absolutely destroying offensive linemen from FCS teams. My guess is that he won't make the team but he is a cool dude and he owns.

Rashad Lawrence, WR, Washington

Lawrence was a safety valve possession receiver. The Cats didn't really pass a ton in the last few years because they had the Colter/Mark option going, but he was the most reliable 3rd down receiver there. Probably not likely to make the team, but a he owns and is a cool dude.

Jeff Budzien, Jacksonville Jaguars

JEFF loving BUDZIEN WAS THE ONLY GOOD KICKER I CAN REMEMBER AT NORTHWESTERN. He was really good two years ago and slightly less good last year. Not a huge leg, but super accurate as a college kicker and I don't know who the kicker is on the Jags but that dude had better watch his rear end because Budzien is here to take his job and his family and leave that man to the mercy of whatever god or bortles he prays to. Hail Budzien. Motherfuckers.

Kain loving Colter, WR, The loving Vikings Are You Kidding Me

Kain Colter owns. He was not the best passer in the world, but he's fast, elusive, shifty, and essentially unstoppable on third down. Northwestern's playbook was basically: OK here's Colter and you know he's going to run it and you can't stop it anyway and by the way he made that first down against Ohio State you loving shitbag referees. Colter ran a 4.7 40, but he was coming off a busted ankle and anyone who has watched him on tape knows he's quick as gently caress and really hard to tackle in space. Kain Colter is a Union Man and did more to destroy the loving NCAA than most other players even if it looks like his dumbass teammates probably didn't vote to unionize. Get thee behind me, Satan, Cotler is loving here and should be a card-carrying member of the NFLPA. He probably won't make the team, but if he does, he is going to Joe Webb the gently caress out of everyone. If you don't like Kain Colter, you can go gently caress yourself. America, motherfuckers.

turbomoose
Nov 29, 2008
Playing the banjo can be a relaxing activity and create lifelong friendships!
\
:backtowork:
University of Michigan

Taylor Lewan, OT, Tennessee Titans
Was projected to be a top pick coming out of his junior year, but decided to go back to finish his career. He had a shaky start to his senior year in my opinion, I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be considering the hype. Michigan's run game was also very spotty, including a minus 48 yards rushing against Michigan State and i think it was a three game stretch of like 20 total rushing yards. This is all with an established running back and qb. So on one hand you can blame the OL for sucking at running so much, or you can give them props for pass blocking well enough when everyone knew they couldn't run the ball.

Michael Schofield, OT, Denver Broncos
Don't really have a good idea about this guy, pretty much just a typical anonymous lineman. All the stuff I said about the running game applies.

Jeremy Gallon, WR, New England Patriots
One of the best playmakers on the field for Michigan last year. Our whole offense last year was pretty much three players: Devin Funchess(TE), Devin Gardner(QB), and Jeremy Gallon(WR). Also he had one of the best games by a WR in the HISTORY OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL by catching 14 passes for 369 yards and two touchdowns. Going into the third quarter he had over 300.
Hard to say how he will fit into the Patriots since they already have a shifty receiver we drafted last year (Josh Boyce) as well as Edelman and Amendola.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The UMASS Minutemen

Rob Blanchflower, TE Pittsburgh Steelers. I've been to a handful of UMASS games the last few years as I've grown a secret love of sitting in the front row on the 50 MACtion and it was quite clear that Blanchflower was heads and tails above any other player on the field those games.

He's a touch smaller then Gronk, and admittedly nowhere near him athletically, who's an acceptable blocker and decent receiver, but shares his injury history. Unlike Gronk, once he catches the ball he tends to go down right quick. If you can say that UMASS has had a playmaker these past few seasons, it was Rob Blanchflower.

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide
Hm, Bama has a lot, so I think I'll just do a few some people may not have heard of, or at the very least haven't gotten as much media attention.

Kevin Norwood, WR. Kevin is Mr. Clutch. While Amari Cooper (now that he's healthy) is probably going to be the best and highest drafted Alabama WR since Julio Jones, Norwood was the guy that was always there when you needed him. Every time Bama beat LSU the last 2-3 years, Norwood was the hammer we beat them with. Doesn't get a lot of yards after the catch, but has amazing hands, and makes drat sure he's the one that comes down with the ball. The Seahawks drafting him confirms what we all knew already--the Seahawks know what they're loving doing.

Vinnie Sunseri, S. Coach's kid. Before his season was ended far too early by a torn ACL, Vinnie was basically the director of Bama's secondary during the better half of its year, and kept all the younger kids like Landon Collins where they were supposed to be. Doesn't have size or speed, but knows the game ridiculously well. Made Johnny Football his bitch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=463d__ctR38


Cody Mandell, P. Isn't Cade Foster. In Saban's conservative ball game, Mandell managed to stand out several times. Biggest game was Mississippi State, where he had an average of 55 yards a kick. Always more than adequate, which really, are you looking for any more than that in a punter?

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

UCF Knights

Blake Bortles, QB - LOL Bortles and all but it's about time George O'Leary's penchant for only recruiting QBs withing a 20 mile radius of the school paid off. Looking at you Steven Moffett and Kyle Israel. Really he reminds me of a much more accurate version of Jake Locker, who probably isn't quite ready yet, but I think is going to do good things in the NFL. I think Jags fans are going to love him.

Storm Johnson, RB - Pretty rad cut and run back with a nasty habit of trying to stretch it to the outside when he really doesn't have the speed to do so. Also fumbles a whole bunch. Also, his name is loving Storm.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Let's talk University of Washington:

Austin Seferian-Jenkins, TE: Drafted in the 2nd round by Tampa Bay. Big man (6'6", 258), good hands. His size is perfect for the position. He comes with some "character concerns" which include a DUI and also "reports" of being unmotivated and not putting in the extra time. Nonetheless, I think the Bucs will enjoy his production from the position.

Bishop Sankey, RB: Drafted in the 2nd round by Tennessee. Small and nimble, and put up insane rushing numbers while he was here at UW. He's more of a precision runner and will look to cut to find the holes rather than push through. He led the PAC-12 in rushing yards last year, and will be a fantastic complement to the Titan's rushing game.

Travis Coons, K: UDFA that signed with Tennessee. He went 15/16 in FGs and 62/63 on field goals last year. He's competing with someone who's never kicked in the NFL as well, so he has a legitimate chance of making the roster.

Greg Ducre, CB: UDFA that signed with San Diego. Draft projections had him going in the 4th-5th rounds, so the fact that he made it through unsigned is a bit surprising. He had fantastic pro-day results but his production didn't his athletic talent. If he can get his tools together, he could provide to be an adequate CB, but he'll have to put it all together.

Kevin Smith, WR: UDFA that signed with Arizona. Had decent pro day results. Other than that, he's not that remarkable.

Keith Price, QB: UDFA that signed with Seattle. Despite Seattle's crowded QB situation with RW, Tavaris Jackson and Terrelle Pryor (along with practice squad member BJ Daniels), Seattle apparently really wanted him and called him minutes after the draft ended to sign him. He led UW along with Sankey for one of the best offensive years, but he's been inconsistent and plagued by nagging injuries. He'll at best be a 3rd string or practice squad fodder.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

seiferguy posted:

Keith Price, QB: UDFA that signed with Seattle. Despite Seattle's crowded QB situation with RW, Tavaris Jackson and Terrelle Pryor (along with practice squad member BJ Daniels), Seattle apparently really wanted him and called him minutes after the draft ended to sign him. He led UW along with Sankey for one of the best offensive years, but he's been inconsistent and plagued by nagging injuries. He'll at best be a 3rd string or practice squad fodder.

This is the greatest QB stable I've ever seen

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
Mostly a repost of what I already said in the draftermath 2.0 thread, but what the heck!

Iowa Hawkeyes

CJ Fiedorowicz, TE, Texans: Really really really big. Moves okay but not great. Fairly reliable hands and an absurd catch radius. Goes down surprisingly easy for someone his size, which was consistently frustrating. So-so route runner. Really great in the redzone where he can just post guys up and go get the ball (which Iowa somehow never figured out until his last year, which was infuriating) and kinda meh everywhere else. Might be better than I'm giving him credit for as a receiver though because Iowa had bad QBs while he was here and didn't use him very well, there's a decent chance he goes down as the most underutilized guy of the Ferentz era. Exceptional blocker for a tight end, if he'd wanted to do it Ferentz probably could have turned him into an NFL LT after four years of coaching/bulking up. Basically a less productive but way more gifted version of Scott Chandler and Scott Chandler is still kicking around being tall and catching TDs.

Christian Kirksey, LB, Browns: Goes by Chris now according to ESPN which is disorienting to me and I'm not going to call him that. Really smart player, always in the right spot. Sound tackler who was crazy productive. Great in coverage and moves well for a linebacker. Iowa's scheme forces the Leo to cover slot receivers all the time and he was always pretty solid at it. He came into Iowa as a safety as still looks like one. Really skinny for a linebacker, and consequentially is not very strong can get swallowed up by blockers. Decent blitzer in college just because he was smart and quick but will likely struggle in the pros. Can probably at least play on passing downs and special teams and stuff. Went earlier than I thought he would.

Anthony Hitchens, LB, Cowboys: My favorite Iowa player last year. Not very big which makes me worry that he'll struggle to get off blocks at the next level. He moves pretty well and hits like a truck though. Can sometimes miss tackles going for a knockout shot. Reads blocks and flows to the ball really well. Rangey sideline to sideline Racked up a shitload of tackles. Pretty bad in coverage. Decent blitzer when ask. Will be an excellent special teamer I think, but I doubt he plays much otherwise. I didn't expect him to get drafted before the 7th but am psyched that the Cowboys took him. They've never had an Iowa guy before. If he makes the team I'll buy his jersey.

UDFAs:

James Morris, LB, Patriots: Was actually probably the most well known of our three linebackers while he was here which makes it a little weird that he was the one who didn't get drafted. No serious holes in his game. He's solid against the run, solid in coverage, and was our best pass rusher last year after we started asking our linebackers to blitz. But he's also not really spectacular at anything and is a pretty limited athlete. He was expected to become the next Great Iowa Linebacker in the mold of Greenway and Angerer and it never really happened, but he had a nice senior year. Really smart dude who works hard. Can probably make an impact on special teams.

Brett Van Sloten, OT, Ravens: Good size for a RT. Decent but not spectacular athlete. Good technique in pass protection, but has a tendency to get too high in his run blocking, which is an issue. Kinda slow footed and can have issues with quicker players. Solid player but probably nothing more than a backup. Super nice kid though.

Connor Boffeli, OL, Vikings: Can play guard or center. Great technique but kinda undersized and limited athletically. Very good in pass protection, but can get overwhelmed by bigger stronger guys against the run. Fairly quick for an offensively lineman. Like most Iowa guys, fits best in a zone scheme. I don't think he'll make a roster, but might become a backup because of his ability to play multiple positions on the interior.

Casey Kreiter, LS, Cowboys: Was a longsnapper. Got to longsnap a whole bunch because Iowa loves to punt. Didn't gently caress up that I can recall. Go him.

Tanner Miller, S, Packer: The next in Iowa's seemingly endless line of greyshirt safeties who have a great bowl practice and wind up starting for 3-4 years. Is not very good and football. Presumably worked very hard and is very nice. White as gently caress. Will make an excellent medical supplies salesman very soon.

Former Everything
Nov 28, 2007


Is this right?
Kentucky Wildcats

Draftee

Avery Williamson, ILB, Titans:

Very productive player at Kentucky who performed much better than expected at the Combine. He isn't a sideline-to-sideline guy and is more of a wrap and drag tackler than a guy who will strike. Good in short-area coverage. Is an average blitzer who struggles to work through garbage and get the to ball. Still needs to work on his hands and disengaging from blockers. Is the hardest worker on the team and an outstanding character guy. Big-time leadership ability.

UDFA

Mister Cobble, DT/NG, Broncos:

Short and extremely thick (5'11 330+). Not a two-gap guy but effective at holding the point of attack in a one-gap system. Played NG at UK last season, has struggled a little with injury. Will get push and collapse the pocket in one-on-one situations. Carries a ton of weight in his stomach. Not a lot of lateral agility but that's why he plays NG. Short-armed and unlikely to stick on the roster. Is named Mister Cobble.

Donte Rumph, DT, Falcons:

Athletic but out of shape. Signed with UK in 2008 as a SSDE at 6'3 260 lbs. Spent two years at Fork Union Military Academy trying to get eligible for college and showed up in 2010 at around 350 and completely out of shape. Due to Kentucky's piss-poor roster, played all four years and never developed like he should have. Missed out on Kentucky's new S&C program because he was recovering from shoulder surgery and then injured early in spring ball. Was still the best DT on Kentucky's roster (insert LOL) and definitely has a chance to stick if he can get healthy and get in shape.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Former Everything posted:


Mister Cobble, DT/NG, Broncos:

Short and extremely thick (5'11 330+). Not a two-gap guy but effective at holding the point of attack in a one-gap system. Played NG at UK last season, has struggled a little with injury. Will get push and collapse the pocket in one-on-one situations. Carries a ton of weight in his stomach. Not a lot of lateral agility but that's why he plays NG. Short-armed and unlikely to stick on the roster. Is named Mister Cobble.

Really bummed about that. His name rules. :(

Kibner
Oct 21, 2008

Acguy Supremacy
Southeastern Louisiana University

Robert Alford, CB, Falcons: The link in his name contains all my knowledge of him. I never watch my alma-mater because whatever. I never even know when/what channel when they are on TV and would rather watch better teams on TV while at my house than attend an actual game.

I hope he does well in every game that doesn't affect the Saints and will bandwagon him so hard if he shows the least bit competency because he is a Louisiana boy.

Maybe someone else actually watched SELU this season and can give an actual view on him.

Pead
May 31, 2001
Nap Ghost

Kibner posted:

Southeastern Louisiana University

Robert Alford, CB, Falcons: The link in his name contains all my knowledge of him. I never watch my alma-mater because whatever. I never even know when/what channel when they are on TV and would rather watch better teams on TV while at my house than attend an actual game.

I hope he does well in every game that doesn't affect the Saints and will bandwagon him so hard if he shows the least bit competency because he is a Louisiana boy.

Maybe someone else actually watched SELU this season and can give an actual view on him.

Alford was drafted last year and he did ok in backup/relief cb duties.

Kibner
Oct 21, 2008

Acguy Supremacy

Pead posted:

Alford was drafted last year and he did ok in backup/relief cb duties.

Welp, I'm dumb and can't read draft dates properly.

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
NC STATE

Round 4 Pick 129 Dontae Johnson, NC State CB San Francisco 49ers

He's a pretty good corner, was always playing the second fiddle to David Amerson who went to the Redskins last year in Round 2. Not an elite player by any means but very solid

regulargonzalez
Aug 18, 2006
UNGH LET ME LICK THOSE BOOTS DADDY HULU ;-* ;-* ;-* YES YES GIVE ME ALL THE CORPORATE CUMMIES :shepspends: :shepspends: :shepspends: ADBLOCK USERS DESERVE THE DEATH PENALTY, DON'T THEY DADDY?
WHEN THE RICH GET RICHER I GET HORNIER :a2m::a2m::a2m::a2m:

NEBRASKA

Stanley Jean-Baptiste - CB. Second round pick for the Saints. A bit raw, as he's a converted WR who only has 2.5 years experience as CB. Big bodied at 6'2.5" and 215. Good hands, good instincts, not as quick as one would like, and needs to work on his tackling form. Overall a good player but benefited from the Richard Sherman effect of making big CBs seem very valuable. If he had been in the 2013 draft I picture him as a late 3rd rounder.

Spencer Long - OG. Third round pick for the Redskins. Talented, some injury concerns, but assuming he stays healthy I picture him having a long if unremarkable career in the Brendan Stai mold, with a ceiling around the Carl Nicks level.

Quincy Enunwa - WR. Sixth round pick for the Jets. Very big bodied receiver. Odd combination of good hands and too many drops; he'll make impressive catches and then drop easy ones. Average speed. Seems like a good guy.

Jeremiah Sirles - OT. UDFA Chargers. Eh, about what you'd expect for an undrafted OT. Decent practice squad fodder.

Cole Pensick - C. UDFA - Chiefs. Slightly better than Sirles, decent chance of being a backup.

Jason Ankrah - DE UDFA - Texans. Practice squad.

Mohammed Seisay - CB. UDFA - Lions. Always seemed to have more potential than production. In theory he could contribute, if he works his rear end off.

Andrew Green - S. UDFA - Dolphins. Potential for backup material.

Taylor Martinez - ?. UDFA - Eagles. I imagine he'll be tried out as a kick returner, safety, and possibly WR. All time yardage leader at Nebraska, and yet no one is sad to see him go.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.
Pennsylvania State University

Allen Robinson



Da'Quan Jones



John Urshel (#64)



Colorado State University

Crockett Gillmore



Weston Richburg

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008
Saint Thomas Aquinas High School

Lamarcus Joyner (S, Florida State) – 43rd overall to the St. Louis Rams
Smart kid, hard worker, and reminds me of Tyrann Mathieu a little, but probably a bit slower. Will probably play a nickle/safety role and do very well.

Dezmon Southward (S, Wisconsin) – 68th overall to the Atlanta Falcons
I don't know a drat thing about him

Brandon Liner (OL, Miami) – 93rd overall to the Jacksonville Jaguars
Played tackle for us, varsity starter his sophomore year on a perennially ranked national team. I actually played with him, and he's a nasty linemen. consistent effort, hard worker and I think he'll be successful at the next level.

James White (RB, Wisconsin) – 130th overall to the New England Patriots
James is a hell of a football player. He was 3rd on the RB depth chart at our school, behind Giovanni Bernard who was 2 and another kid who went on to play for Syracuse. Well James is such a smooth athlete, the coaches moved him over to nickle backer and had him running around at LB for our run at state. He's got great feet, good hips and will get you whats blocked. I don't think hes a homerun hitter, but he's very reliable, will not fumble, and is very good at pass pro.

I was debating putting this here, but only 11 schools surpassed STA with the most draft picks: LSU, Alabama, Notre Dame, Florida State, Ohio State, Stanford, Baylor, Clemson, North Carolina, UCLA and Wisconsin.

so this post bought to you by :smuggo:

Also we're responsible for Geno Atkins.

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

I want to do Florida State but I don't know enough about how these guys might do in the NFL

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

South Carolina Gamecocks

Jadeveon "Doo Doo" Clowney, DE: Needs no introduction or explanation, so moving right along.

Bruce Ellington, WR: Ellington originally came to SC exclusively for basketball, and was our starting point guard for a couple years. Because he played football in high school, he eventually decided to take a crack at it here as well, and ended up becoming our leading receiver last year. Ellington is an incredible athlete, likely in part because of his extensive two-sport background, and as such is a pretty versatile player. Since he's only been playing receiver for a few years, he definitely has more potential to tap into. He occasionally ran the wildcat for us and was also an above-average kick returner. I was pretty surprised he fell into the fourth round.

UDFAs

Connor Shaw, QB: The best quarterback in school history and basically a poor man's Manziel (though he's pretty much a robot). As a coach's son, he has an insane work ethic and was always in the film room or the gym. If you like ball security, he only threw one (1) interception the entirety of his senior season and is generally a very careful, conservative QB. For the ultimate in Connor Shaw Heroics, look no further than last year's Missouri game, when he came off the bench injured and led us to a 2OT win. Speaking of injuries, he can be prone to getting hurt because of his playing style, but he's also entirely able and willing to play through just about anything. Robotic quarterbacks have their advantages.

Kelcy Quarles, DT: Benefited from teams doubling/tripling Clowney and racked up 9.5 sacks in a first-team All-American junior season and is a great run-stuffer. I was surprised he went undrafted, but maybe teams didn't trust that he could replicate this production. Regardless, I like Quarles a lot and think he has a good chance of sticking somewhere, if not with the Giants.

Jimmy Legree, CB: Very much under-the-radar guy who didn't rack up a lot of flashy stats, but he was one of our most reliable defensive backs and made some really clutch plays throughout his career. He fits the big cornerback mold that Seattle likes so much, so he might have landed in an ideal situation there.

Chaz Sutton, DE: Had a ton of potential that he never quite lived up to, so he's pretty much the textbook example of "has all the physical tools." If the Bucs can help him refine his game, they might end up with a steal.

Ronald Patrick, OL: I honestly don't know enough about offensive linemen to comment on his chances. We've been slowly upgrading the talent on our line for the past few years and Patrick was a solid contributor, but he wasn't really a key piece.

Scarf
Jun 24, 2005

On sight
Clemson University Tigers

Sammy Watkins, WR, to the Bills: He fast.


Tajh Boyd, QB, to the Jets: One of the best Quarterbacks to come out of Clemson in the modern era. Had mobility issues his first year, but dropped some weight and managed to find ways to scramble/break through for consistent yardage. Had a bad habit of getting into his own head, but once he found his rhythm, he was capable of making big plays consistently. Finished his career with pretty much every ACC record there is, 64.3% completion, passed for 11,904 yards and 107 touchdowns against 39 interceptions in 2,963 snaps over 47 games (40 starts), had 1,165 rushing yards and 26 rushing touchdowns, 13,069 total yards and was responsible for an ACC-record 133 touchdowns.


Bashaud Breeland, DB, to the Redskins: Spent a lot of 2012 injured, but came back as a great defensive player in 2013. Over his career at Clemson, he had 159 tackles, 8.5 tackles for loss, three sacks, six interceptions for 142 yards, 20 pass breakups, caused 2 fumbles, and played 1,713 snaps.

Martavis Bryant, WR, to the Steelers: He tall, 6'4". Bryant had 61 receptions for 1,354 yards and 13 touchdowns along with a 17-yard carry and 291 yards on 14 kickoff returns in 1,020 snaps over 37 games (13 starts) in his career. Bryant had somewhat of a spotty season in 2012, but emerged as an extremely solid and more than capable #2 receiver behind Sammy Watkins. Which was great because a lot of teams would double cover Watkins and all but leave Bryant wide open. Which didn't really matter since he was usually several inches taller than most guys covering him. He'd just reach over them to catch the ball.


Brandon Thomas, OG, to the 49ers:: Solid lineman who spent time at both Tackle and Guard. Along with Shatley, he was a solid leader of the offensive line.


UDFAs

Chandler Catanzaro, K, signed to the Arizona Cardinals: Probably the best kicker Clemson has ever had. The guy was so drat clutch, and coming from a few decades of spotty kickers, he was coveted at Clemson. 81.7% on field-goals, and 99.02% on PATs. Has scored 404 points in 53 games. He was 24-31 (a school-record 77.4 percent) on field goals of 40+ yards in his career, including making 13 of his last 14 field-goal attempts of 40+ yards. Pretty sure he ended up being the highest scoring player in Clemson history.

Tyler Shatley, G, signed to the Jaguars: Started as a fullback, moved to defense, then back to offense in his final season. Solid lineman and permanent co-captain in his last year. Had a team-high 34 knockdowns in 837 snaps over 12 games (12 starts) in his final year on the O-line.

Spencer Shuey, LB, signed to the Jaguars: Solid defensive linebacker, but was also great on special teams. Emerged in the second half of the 2012 season as one of the team's top linebackers and tacklers. Had 248 tackles, 13.5 tackles for loss, two sacks, nine quarterback pressures, five pass breakups, one caused fumble, and five recovered fumble in 1,365 snaps over 49 games (20 starts) in his career. Had 31 special teams tackles in his career.

Darius Robinson, CB, signed to the Bills: Spent a lot of time injured in 2011 and 2012, but in 2013 had 70 tackles, four tackles for loss, six interceptions for 40 yards, one quarterback pressure, and five pass breakups in 1,371 snaps over 38 games (25 starts) in his career.

Scarf fucked around with this message at 21:04 on May 14, 2014

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit

Florida State Seminoles now in the league!

Drafted

Kelvin Benjamin. Round 1, Pick 28. Wide Receiver. Carolina Panthers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk2T3FAEkCk
Bit of a one year wonder, and I think he's 22 or 23. He had bad academic problems coming out of high school and took a lot of effort to qualify. Initially lazy in his first two years and clearly didn't try in his R-Fr campaign. Did a 180 this year and bought in completely. If he keeps up the trajectory, the sky's the limit, but may need to be made to buy in a little. Can be a bit streaky with his hands, but has become a brutal blocker and runs deceptively good routes. Has played at ever WR position (we like to move him around) including the slot. Tracks ball very well and accelerates pretty drat well. Navigates traffic very well too - last year we had him do a number of end-arounds and he would get to the edge or elude defenders surprisingly fluidly. Still needs polish in high pointing the ball. Runs without the ball secured, not unlike early Michael Vick but somehow hasn't had a fumble yet because of it. Weird.


Larmarcus Joyner. Round 2, Pick 9. Defensive Back. St. Louis Rams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C-Iaa_uusU

I hesitate to put him as a safety or corner because he would switch positions early and often, eventually settling to safety this year. Played exceptionally well every year at wherever we put him, and was a vocal, serious, hard working leader. I feel like he lost a bit of speed sometime the last two years but I really can't put a finger where. Has unbelievable acceleration and arms like a condor. I think he'll be used mostly in the nickel in the league. We used him a lot in blitzes at FSU and is an absolutely vicious pass rusher in this way. Very smart and would often be calling signals and audibles on the field. Very good kick returner as well, good punter returner. Better hands than shown on his pro-day workouts



Timmy "Loco Ocho" Jernigan. Round 2, Pick 16. Defensive Tackle. Baltimore Ravens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCxHcsVvvAI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks2gVG-suGA

He was easily a top 3 run defender in the NCAA last year. Very good work ethic and a surprisingly high motor, and had run down WRs/RBs on multiple occasions (in the 2012 highlights). Also a team leader that would even get on offensive guys to learn their playbooks (in one somewhat public case, Kelvin Benjamin). Uses his hands well and has a pretty decent repertoire of moves. Docked for his shoulders not being wide enough - I guess that means he's not a space eater? Very, very strong and has tossed around offensive linemen in the past.


Terrence Brooks. Round 3, Pick 13. Safety. Baltimore Ravens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8yfj8MpI-A

He kept being targeted when our offense was run by Mark Stoops, but this year our new-and-now-gone DC put him a system that worked out great for him. Very fast, range-y safety, and great run defender. Fairly streaky hands, should've had 4 or 5 more picks this year. Grew up very fast in the new system we had when not quite asked to constantly be put on an island - I don't quite know how adaptable he is but he has a great skillset to do well with. Wouldn't trust him to take over games.

Devonta Freeman. Round 4, Pick 3. Running Back. Atlanta Falcons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxiKpKVb-80 (Also see Bryan Stork's video)

Accelerates well, runs with low pad level. The line blocks well for him so more often then not he has to deal with arm tackles, which he consistently defeats. Became a very good blocker. Sees color well, hits the hole as it develops. He's not burner, but cuts very well. He won't be a game breaker but he'll get things done.


Bryan Stork. Round 4, Pick 5. Center. New England Patriots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5gNK1TaMrA

Originally a tight end converted to center. He's very determined and pretty smart, but otherwise pretty unremarkable physically.

Telvin Smith. Round 5, Pick 4. Linebacker. Jacksonville Jaguars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfuLAR2gDes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zalycQA5YiA

Obviously underweight, and labeled a 'tweener' because of it. Excellent in coverage and exceptional in cutting between OL in blitzes. Another vocal leader on defense. Very fast for his position and soft hands. Doesn't quite fight off OL well but is quick enough to evade them and make tackles anyway. 20-30 lbs heavier and would probably be in the top 3 rounds.

Undrafted Free Agents

Kenny "3 hunna"/"is raw" Shaw. Wide Receiver. Cleveland Browns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQpP6NA-Xwg

Fearless WR with very soft hands, goes over the middle and takes big hits with little regard for himself and makes great catches. Plays well enough on the outside. Shifty. One of the best route runners in the nation since his freshman year. He's just light as hell and it hasn't helped him at all in this process.


Christian Jones. Linebacker. Chicago Bears

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMataUcRs-M

Amazing athlete and soft as hell. Somewhat poor football instincts, though we've had him play like 4 different positions in the last 2 years. Ultimately, we had him playing end, essentially, where he excelled at setting the edge but not much else. As an example of his athleticism, we had him cover speedster WR Kenny Stills against Oklahoma and he did a drat good job for being 6'3 ~240 lbs. Tons of potential if he can just get his head right for the game.

Jacobbi McDaniel. Defensive Tackle. Cleveland Browns


Injured a lot, but he was essentially our entire DL his freshman year and played very well. He's not the same player since then, but still flashes some greatness. He's also kinda short at 6'0", and is shaped like a bowling ball. I like him, but he probably won't make any noise for the Browns.

Moses McCray. Defensive Tackle. New Orleans Saints


Somehow more injured than McDaniel above, but has more enticing physical attributes. Transferred to Akron for his senior year because his injuries got him buried in the depth chart. Hope for the best for him.

Chad Abram. Fullback/Running Back. Detroit Lions


Converted from Safety to FB his R-Jr year because safety became a logjam. Kinda unremarkable but doesn't make mistakes in his blocking. Very good at catching the ball though it still looks kinda unnatural.

Demonte McAllister. Defensive Tackle. Seattle Seahawks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMtuBMe4PnQ

Pete Carroll said he was the best 5-tech he'd ever seen in high school. We moved him inside because we wanted him to see the field and we had a litany of NFL DEs. Above Average in a lot of ways, has a bit of an injury history.


Better Late Than Never

Greg Reid. Cornerback. St. Louis Rams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBcRWXF33AQ

Got kicked out pretty much by FSU's president because he would not stop failing drug tests and thought Jimbo could protect him. Eventually it got to be too much and the ax had to fall. He's a bit on the short side, but is one of the most natural corners out there. Very instinctual and fights the knock out the ball. Electric punt returner. Has taken over games as a corner, which was really cool to see. Gambles sometimes and has been burnt because of it. Transferred to North Alabama, and somewhat promptly tore his ACL. Then got fat. Turned his life around this past year and showed out enough to get a contract.

pillsburysoldier fucked around with this message at 02:24 on May 15, 2014

Spacebump
Dec 24, 2003

Dallas Mavericks: Generations
Tulane
Ryan Grant: Washington- He caught a lot of bad passes from Tulane's 2 QBs. Many of these passes had no business being caught by anyone but he seems to have a football magnets in his gloves.

Elotana
Dec 12, 2003

and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account
There are a million scouting reports out there for Jake Matthews, Mike Evans, and Johnny Manziel, so I'm going to briefly talk about the Texas A&M UDFAs. I did this in 2012 and while I can't prove this because :argh: archives :argh: I correctly predicted that Jeff Fuller and Coryell Judie would be out of the league in a year while Tony Jerod-Eddie would still be kicking around in a DL rotation. So I'll make some homer assessments for who's good enough to still be around in 2015:

Travis Labhart, WR (Texans)

DID YOU HEAR HE WAS ON THE WOMEN'S BASKETBALL PRACTICE SQUAD?!?! Unlike Swope, this guy is every inch the white receiver archetype: he's a solid route-runner with no hops or top-end speed. He had a knack for sneaking open during Manziel scramble drills, but NFL cover schemes are more disciplined and I don't think that's what the Texans are looking for in an offense anyway. Chances he sticks: very slim

Nate Askew, LB (Bucs)

Workout hero who was buried on the depth chart at WR for three years because he couldn't run routes for poo poo. We had the bright idea to convert him to LB and he was terrible, but no more terrible than the rest of our defense and definitely showed flashes of potential with a few interceptions due to the WR pedigree. If someone wants to let him develop on the practice squad he might have a shot. Chances he sticks: slim

Toney Hurd Jr., CB (Bucs)

Hell fuckin yes, Tiny Hurd owns. The only reason he wasn't drafted is he's a safety in a cornerback's body (5'8"). But his ball instincts on defense are great, he was pretty much the only guy on our defense making big stops game-changing plays, and his pick six in the Chicken Bowl was a thing of beauty. If he doesn't become someone's nickelback he will at least shine on special teams. Chances he sticks: great

Steven Jenkins, LB (Bucs)

About as good as Nate Askew despite playing LB for four years instead of one. Likes: getting trucked, getting blazed. Dislikes: wheel routes, gap discipline. Chances he sticks: lol no

Derel Walker, WR (Titans)

Finally cracked the WR rotation last year, and was usually the second deep read after Evans. He's a solid route-runner too, and also has some pretty impressive hops and body control. Not much speed though, and the Titans might be a little crowded at WR. Chances he sticks: 50/50

Ben Malena, RB (Cowboys)

We had a really deep bench of RB talent but kept coming back to Malena because he's gritty as gently caress. He does all the dirty work you want an RB in a pass-heavy scheme to do. He's great at chip-blocking, screens, dumpoffs, and blows up motherfuckers on the inside zone too. In an era where RBs are basically platooned utilitymen I don't see why he can't find a niche. Chances he sticks: good

Tramain Jacobs, CB (Ravens)

Nope.

Elotana fucked around with this message at 02:40 on May 17, 2014

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General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Elotana posted:

Toney Hurd Jr., CB (Bucs)
he was pretty much the only guy on our defense making big stops game-changing plays

You sure spell Deshazor Everett weird.

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