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 Everyone's least favorite team, largely composed of cheats and criminals, from the country that brought governmental and insitutional corruption back to the first world. Four time World Cup Champions, kings of the skied penalty and inventors of the most boring play style known to the sport. Antagonistic, arrogant and constantly complaining. Wildly successful. Italy's mens national football side, the Azzurri are largely a known entity. Second only to Brazil in number of World Cup titles, Italy have been a perennial "favorite" since most of the people on this board were born (up until 2010, which didn't happen). Anyone who lives in America knows at least one guy who's grandfather immigrated to New York on a boat from Naples in the early 1900's and this is when they make sure everyone knows how Italian they are. Their mother makes the best red gravy and they know this because they probably still live with her despite being in their thirties.  A typical Italy fan This tournament's side is composed nearly entirely from players who play in the Italian top league, the Serie A. Why is this important? Well, Italy's Serie A has been on a downswing since the early 2000's. Now we are fifth in UEFA, right in between Portugal in fourth and France in sixth. Italy's current champion, Juventus, who won the title with a European record of 102 points, was knocked out of the Champions League in the group stages. This is probably indicative of the quality of play we can expect this time around, but luckily for Italy, they have a huge advantage in that many of the expected starting 11 players all come from that Juventus squad, and they play together every day. So without further ado, here are the 30 players that have been called up by manager Cesare Prandelli. As usual, Italians will wait until the last second to put anything on paper so the official list wont be out until June 2nd: This pic is from the last Euros so it's only about half right but just look at these good lookin motherfuckers, peep Balzaretti's hair, so luxurious  Goalkeepers Gigi Buffon  Im number 1 Club: Juventus Once considered the best goalkeeper in the world, Buffon is still performing extremely well for his club side and the national team. He's probably lost the title of best to Iker Casillas of Spain, but his shot stopping and command of the defense is still extremely good. Likely to be the captain, not only for his experience but for his relatively collected demeanor as well. Salvatore Sirigu  Im number 2 Club: Paris St Germain Sirigu is one of the many excellent players that were bought at an exhorbitant price by PSG i nthe last couple of years. He's a decent keeper and has been playing for the national team for a few years now but we wont see him unless Buffon gets injured. Mattia Perin  Im just happy to be here! Club: Genoa CFC Perin is a young keeper who has been impressing those who follow the Serie A for two years now. He's wildly acrobatic and has a tendancy to make hollywood saves, even when he doesn't need to. He has a ridiculously high save percentage, mostly because Genoa's defence is garbage and he's forced in to it a lot. He's a talent to watch in club play and will probably be in the contention for the number 1 spot in a few years but for now he's going to be on the bench barring a catastrophe. Defenders Giorgio Cheillini  Who lives in a locker room under the pitch? Club: Juventus Chiellini is a hawk nosed, gangly and violent motherfucker who is an excellent center back and skilled left back. He's an integral part of the Juventus defense that has tallied up a record number of clean sheets over several seasons, and is versatile enough to paly in several defensive positions and systems. If he makes it through the whole tournament without a red or a game suspension I'll be impressed. Leonardo Bonucci  Well hello Club: Juventus Bonucci is the second of the three defenders in Juventus's system and might actually be the worst one, despite being very talented. Even as a center back he does get forward quite a bit and sometimes gets caught out because of it. He has an awful shot but he tries it more frequently than the other defenders which elicits audible groans from the Juve faithful. Im talking a lot of poo poo about him, but in reality he's a very solid and reliable defender, especially with Chiellini and Barzagli around him. Andrea Barzagli  I don't know if I can do another lap, coach Club: Juventus Barzagli is one of the only remaining members of the side that remains from the 2006 title winning side. He's the slowest of the three Juventus defenders but makes up for it in good positioning and vision. He'll get beat by fast strikers, but Chiellini and Bonucci are usually there to mop up any mistakes because the three of them have very good communications. Barzagli probably wont last the whole campaign (unless we go out in the groups  ) but he'll probably be starting in the beginning.Gabriel Paletta  Nobody will notice the top if I just grow out the sides, it's foolproof! Club: Parma FC Paletta is an Argentinian with an Italian grandmother or something and he had a breakout season with Parma this year, good enough for Prandelli to call him up. The most notable thing about him from recent times is that he let Ciro Immobile turn him in to a pretzel on the second to last day of the season and that he has a horrific haircut. He's normally pretty reliable though and has plenty of experience, so he'll make a decent back up if he's picked. Andrea Ranocchia  Yeah, listen, Walter Samuel put my head in the toilet again and I had to take another shower, can you pick me up? Club: Internazionale Andrea Ranocchia was once tipped to be the next Baresi by well wishers at Bari, but it actually turned out that his center back partner at the time, Bonucci, was way better than him. What Ranocchia has going for him is his size and strength. He's a tall dude and has decent capabilities in the air. Where he struggles is positioning and marking his man. Still a competent defender, but if he's picked I would expect him to get many starts. Ignazio Abate  Did that Egyptian motherfucker seriously just jack my hairstyle? Club: AC Milan Abate is a converted midfielder turned right back who has been playing or owned by Milan for most of his professional career. He's a good attacking fullback with a lot of speed, but his defending leaves a bit to be questioned. He's able to overcome his lack of tackling skill with his speed though and oftentimes his presence is enough to throw off his attacking player enough so that the center backs can clean it up. Currently on the fence as to whether he'll make the plane or not. Christian Maggio  They haven't picked up the trash in how long? Club: SSC Napoli Maggio is old and slow and probably shouldn't be anywhere near this team but Prandelli likes his presence and he does provide a lot of experience. He was Italy's starting right back for a few tournament cycles but he's lost his speed and subsequently lost his starting place at Napoli. Tactically he should probably be cut, but the manager trusts him and may take him a long for the "locker room presence". Mattia De Sciglio  drat, Barbara's got some nice titties...mmmhm Club: AC Milan De Sciglio broke in to Milan's first team a few seasons ago from the youth side and has been deployed about evenly on either flack. He's equally effective with both feet, which is great news for a side that is lacking in left backs. He's still young though and he makes at least one big mistake a game, but he has the stamina for a full 90 and can put in a good cross the whole time. I expect him to make the team based on the fact that he can play both flanks. Manuel Pasqual  DIO CAAAAAA Club: ACF Fiorentina Pasqual's inclusion was not too surprising as he had a stellar season with Fiorentina and is not only an experienced captain, but an experienced left fullback. Games in this tournament would still leave him with less than 10 caps, but he has plenty of club experience and as a bonus, he's a decent free kick taker as well. Matteo Darmian  Is that a loving Albanian over there Club: Torino FC A product of the Milan youth system, Darmian has finally found a team that gives him consistent playing time, and as such has started to shine. He's a fringe inclusion in the provisional list, but he's another player that can somewhat play both flanks, though I think not as well as De Sciglio. I'd be surprised if he makes the cut. Midfielders Andrea Pirlo  Beard game at an all time high Club: Juventus Pirlo is known pretty much the world over as one of the greatest registas ever to play the game. He's getting up there in years, but as his position and play style doesn't really involve a ton of movement, he's still able to hang with the elite. Excellent vision and clinical passing make him a nailed on starter if he's fit. He's also an extremely lethal free kick taker. Daniele De Rossi  It's just an ankle, gimme a fuckin break Note: If anyone has that picture of De Rossi shrugging that is literally "ItalianGuy.jpg" please post it Club: AS Roma Basically the opposite of Pirlo, a physical and twitchy midfielder who acts in bursts. If not for the eternal Francesco Totti, De Rossi would have been Roma's captain for probably the last 5 years at least. He'll play a defensive role covering the front of the center backs and will definitely get carded the most out of anyone in the group. I imagine he's not too pleasant to play against. Riccardo Montolivo  Daniele and Phillipe in defense again, huh Club: AC Milan Montolivo is a poor man's Pirlo with a bit more wide play capability. After a remarkably poo poo season for Milan, his inclusion might have been a bit of a surprise to some, but he's still a quality player and can play in most midfield positions. Probably wont start, but I would expect he'll be included in the side. Claudio Marchisio  I too don't know how that went in Club: Juventus Marchisio has found it a bit tough to get consistent time for Juventus but that's because his competition is some of the best in his position. He's a very advanced attacking midfielder that is usually found closer to the strikers than the midfield. Strong shot, good positioning and decent speed should guarantee him a call up, but not starting every Juve game may hurt him. Alberto Aquilani  Ah poo poo, a blade of grass!!! Club: ACF Fiorentina After a poo poo couple of years bouncing between Liverpool, Juve and Milan, Aquilani has finally found his form again at Fiorentina, once again scoring goals and setting up chances like he should. He's got a good long range shot and decent vision, but the other midfielders in this team might keep him out of the squad given that Pirlo and De Rossi are probably irreplaceable in Prandelli's eyes. Thiago Motta  ZERU TITULI Club: Paris St Germain Motta is the second of three non-native Italians that Prandelli has called up. I don't watch too much Ligue 1 but it looks like he still plays a lot for PSG and Prandelli has always liked him so it's not too weird to see him called up again. From what I can tell he's still really slow though and I will always prefer De Rossi to him in a similar position. I'd like him to be left out but Prandelli has hard on for him so I bet he's gonna be in the final side. Antonio Candreva  It's not all the way off you can't card me Club: SS Lazio Candreva is a wide midfielder who more often than not dragged Lazio out of losing situations all by himself this season. He's got a decent shot on him and his close passing is good, long not so much. He's one of the few out and out wide midfielders good enough to play for this team, though and that works out well when tactical changes mid-game are needed. Marco Verratti  What do you mean I have to pay taxes, Im like 6 years old!!! Club: Paris St Germain One of Italy's best young talents, Verratti was bought by PSG for 20 million Euros straight out of Serie B without ever seeing the Italian top flight. He's fast, a great dribbler and a good passer. He's kind of small but he wont be seeing many defensive duties so that more than likely works in his advantage. He's an exciting player but is on the fringes of the side simply because of his age and his competition. I'd love him to make the final team but Im not holding my breath. Marco Parolo  GenericItalianFootballer.jpg Club: Parma Along with Paletta and Cassano, Parolo was part of the Parma side that exceeded many expectations this year. Just five years ago Parolo was playing Serie C2 but an impressive run by his old club Cesena got him in to the spotlight and he's been performing well ever since. He wouldn't be more than a back up to the other midfielders in this team but he's still decent enough for that position. I'd rather have Verratti but you never know. Romulo  You're telling me I can play for Italy? Club: Hellas Verona Some last minute citizenship trickery allowed Romulo to be picked for Italy, meaning playing in this side would be his first international cap. He's not too young at 27, but he had a good season with Verona and was included because of it. Fiorentina fans may know more about him; I don't know too much. Forwards Antonio Cassano  Presented without comment Club: Parma Cassano was the only one of the "old" strikers to be picked by Prandelli, getting chosen over Gilardino and Toni, who both had decent to great seasons. Cassano offers a little more creativity than either of them and Prandelli loves to act like a woman and try to fix "crazy" players so we probably should've seen this coming. Cassano has done well for Parma this year, especially well considering his time with Inter, and could offer a super sub role if called upon. Mario Balotelli   Phwoar Club: AC Milan Balotelli has had a bit of a "poo poo" year, only scoring 14 goals and for the first time in his pro career, having a penalty save. Regardless, he's still one of Italy's top strikers and not taking him would be lunacy. Lots of people say he doesn't deserve to go but he loves playing for Italy and it shows when he's in the national team shirt. I'll be really really mad if he doesn't get to go. Giuseppe Rossi  Jozy scored how many this year? Club: ACF Fiorentina Rossi is an Italian striker from Collo Di The in the Gerzi Nuovo region who had an unfortunate knee injury reoccur on an Italian pitch while playing for an Italian team. Another Italian player tackled him poorly and he had to be taken to an Italian hospital so an Italian doctor could diagnose that he tore his ACL again. After a long time in foreign countries that he's not from he came back to Italy and managed to play in a 3 Italian matches before the end of the season, finishing with 15 goals, which isn't bad for an Italian striker who was out for half of the Italian Serie A season. Hopefully it was enough for Italian manager Prandelli to pick him for the Italian national side because his talent is undeniable and he'd be a valuable asset to the Italian cause. Alessio Cerci  My loving hair is pulling my brain oooouuut Club: Torino FC Along with Immobile, Cerci was one of the best players in the league this season, and the only one to notch up double digit goals as well as assists. He's a very attacking winger with speed and a powerful shot, perfect to team up with a solid finisher and someone who can make good runs. Unfortunately, he had a penalty saved in the last minute of the last game of Torino's season that would've put them in the Europa league, but hopefully he can be content with playing in a World Cup. Mattia Destro  He looks normal again actually Club: AS Roma Mattia Destro came back from a bad injury at the end of last season to have a great year with Roma despite not playing as often as he would've liked. Some would call him a tap in merchant or a moderately talented poacher but he's got some skill behind him as well. I do think he's a little overrated from playing with Francesco Totti and receiving near pinpoint passes, but he's young and has some decent potential so i wouldn't mind having him as a back up. Lorenzo Insigne  Poverty phone and purse Club: SSC Napoli By all accounts, Insigne actually had a pretty garbage season. Low goals, not a ton of playing time, and bottling some big games that Napoli probably could have and should have won. Despite that, the talent is obviously there and maybe with some different support or players he can recapture the form he had at Pescara and for Italy's U-21s. I imagine he's close to getting the axe from this team but he may be impressing in training, who knows. Ciro Immobile  I can't hear you over this capocannoniere trophy Club: Torino FC Immobile has had a stellar season, winning the to scorers trophy and forming a great partnership with Alessio Cerci in the process. Prandelli would be a madman not to take him; the numbers speak for themselves. He's a really promising player that has all of the building blocks of a complete striker. He may be a little raw around the edges but I think he's going on to do big things. Now watch him play one foreign season and then end up in Serie B. 7 of these players will not make the cut and will be sent home to drink Aperol spritz's with their impossibly attractive girlfriends all summer. Notable absences Alessandro Diamanti: Getting money in China will be good in the end but it's bad now. Luca Toni: Bumbling goals in for a pack of cunts gets you nowhere Alberto Gilardino: You've been replaced by Thiago Motta as the inexplicable inclusion Emannuele Giaccherini: Standing that close to Jozy was a bad move. Stephan El Shaarawy: Being injured all season and doing Ringo commercials doesn't inspire confidence it seems. That's it, please commence racism and diving chat. tl;dr: Mama mia! Gigi Galli fucked around with this message at 21:31 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 21:20
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great op, op whatever happened to el shaarawy?
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May 26, 2014 21:24
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tetsman posted:great op, op Injured for most of the season, didn't make it back in time to really stand a chance. He looked good in the last two Milan matches so hopefully he'll be in the running for the Euros. I'll actually add him in to the notable absences list.
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May 26, 2014 21:25
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Look at all those cheats
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May 26, 2014 21:25
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No Totti, no party
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May 26, 2014 21:26
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Exclusive photos from Italy's training ground at Coverciano:
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May 26, 2014 21:28
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hahahaha 5 I think Italy will go far this year and I won't even mind for about the first time ever. I dont know why
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May 26, 2014 21:30
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Fuckin lol
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May 26, 2014 21:30
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Gigi Galli posted:Giuseppe Rossi I heard he could have played for the Unites States Mens National Team (USMNT)
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May 26, 2014 21:30
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That photo of Destro makes me feel so bad for the guy, seems he just went to poo poo mentally while he was unable to play. Good op.
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May 26, 2014 21:33
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Bogan Krkic posted:That photo of Destro makes me feel so bad for the guy, seems he just went to poo poo mentally while he was unable to play. Good op. He looks a lot better now but Im not going to post a pic because that poo poo is too funny.
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May 26, 2014 21:34
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lmao what happened to Destro?
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May 26, 2014 21:37
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quote:hahahahaha ilu GD
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May 26, 2014 21:39
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vyelkin posted:lmao what happened to Destro? Steam sales
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May 26, 2014 21:40
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Carrier posted:I heard he could have played for the Unites States Mens National Team (USMNT) That's false, he's Italian.
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May 26, 2014 21:42
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Gigi Galli posted:That's false, he's Italian. Only on the pitch. This is my NEW favorite thread!
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May 26, 2014 21:46
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This is also Pirlo's last international tournament, so clearly he has to retire with a winner's medal.
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May 26, 2014 21:46
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Gigi Galli posted:Rossi is an Italian striker from Collo Di The in the Gerzi Nuovo lol
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May 26, 2014 22:00
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Italy won the world cup of TRP threads imo, congrats GD
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May 26, 2014 22:05
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 italy^, englandˇ
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May 26, 2014 22:16
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Gigi Galli posted:Mattia Destro ahahahah oh my god
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May 26, 2014 22:16
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Out of curiosity would insults against Gerzi Nuova count as "regional discrimination" and carry the requisite penalties? Also Fattia Destro was quite good this year, not Immobile-level but still enough to get a plane ticket.
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May 26, 2014 22:22
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Great OP. Italy will do well since their core is Juvi, but Juvi is mostly poo poo and old so they will get dumped out by Brazil(outplayed) or Spain(out cheated).
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May 26, 2014 22:26
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Hell, I like Italy. They're winners who don't give a gently caress if you don't like them, unlike Brazil, Spain or Holland who constantly need their playing styles validated as something transcendent. Betas.
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May 27, 2014 00:53
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Italy has some really loving good looking and well built mans in their team and they seem exelent in all positions (sex positions too probably, because they prolly get all the italian woman). I expect them to go far, but they seem to be a bit weak in the striker department, no? At the very least, compared to the impenetrable (no homo) defense and the versatile, explosive, technical or methodical midfield (literally anything, they can choose literally any kind of midfield style) they seem to have only "good" strikers other than Balo to the Telli. anyway my mother side's grandmother looked like a jewish Italian refugee who fled to this shithole during WWII so i can fully say i'm rooting for Italy in case Portugal screws up.
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May 27, 2014 02:16
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Mans posted:Italy has some really loving good looking and well built mans in their team and they seem exelent in all positions (sex positions too probably, because they prolly get all the italian woman). I expect them to go far, but they seem to be a bit weak in the striker department, no? At the very least, compared to the impenetrable (no homo) defense and the versatile, explosive, technical or methodical midfield (literally anything, they can choose literally any kind of midfield style) they seem to have only "good" strikers other than Balo to the Telli. Nah, Rossi is world class when he's fit, and big Cir has been very impressive this year. I would say that the weakest points are the wide left and wide right. Teams with good wingers or fullbacks will be able to expose this.
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May 27, 2014 02:28
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Don't forget Balotelli, a man so alpha he once celebrated a sick goal by just doing this
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May 27, 2014 06:52
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Immobile and Marco Polo are my favorite player names. Very good and informative op op. Also, shitaly.
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May 27, 2014 08:21
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What happened to Totti?
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May 27, 2014 08:55
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tekz posted:What happened to Totti? Retired from internationals after Euro 2008. He's still amazing for Roma, though.
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May 27, 2014 08:57
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Gigi Galli posted:Mattia Destro  Great stuff, OP!
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May 27, 2014 11:26
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I was gonna say it's a shame Baldo di Gregorio has been left out of the squad but apparently he's german?? bullshit
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May 27, 2014 11:48
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Carrier posted:I heard he could have played for the Unites States Mens National Team (USMNT)
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May 27, 2014 13:17
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Good op. Since Sweden aren't in it this time I hope Italy wins!
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May 27, 2014 14:17
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I go to church with a bunch of Italians so once the US goes winless in group stage I can be all like "Forza Azzurri" and pretend like I am good at caring about soccer. also Buffon is still god-tier so 
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May 27, 2014 14:44
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doing all the phwoars. Prandelli is going to pick a silly team.
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May 27, 2014 14:52
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My prediction is that Italy will finish 1st in their group, whatever group that is.
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May 27, 2014 14:54
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Everyone's least favorite team? Hell, Italy have been my second team ever since I realized that Switzerland are poo poo, so forever. Forza you loving frocci and mamma mia are things I will be saying this summer.
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May 27, 2014 15:04
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Hahaha brilliant OP Gigi Galli
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May 27, 2014 16:30
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Relevant: Requesting repost of that awesome gif where Balotelli is struggling to put on his training vest.
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May 27, 2014 22:08
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