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 Greetings and praise be to the Ayatollah. Inch'Allah this team will win the World Cup in Brazil! Go on you شاهزادگان پارسی (that says 'Princes of Persia' if you're a خرفت). Why is this year Iran's year? Because Iran have proven themselves to be the top team of the Asian Confederation of football, beating powerhouses such as South Korea, Kyrgyszzsszszstan and uhh... Australia? What the gently caress that can't be right.  Jesus christ what the gently caress is going on. Get your poo poo together Asia. Well anyway, internationally Iran is kind of a mixed bag. As said before they do pretty well in the Asian Cup, qualifying since they started competing in 1968 (I don't find any info on why they didn't compete before but I bet it had something to do with the haram nation of Zion pbuh drat them). They've won it three consecutive times in '68, '72 and '76 but haven't gotten past the quarterfinals since 2004 (some blame the revolution, pbuh drat them as well). World Cup on the other hand: poo poo. Qualified for three of the 11 World Cups they bothered to go to, never got past the first group stages. Will that change this year??? Of course! Pbuh drat all who does not believe. Iran topped their qualification group, that included South Korea and Uzbekistan, with uh pretty ok football I guess? The only thing I know from AFC qualifying was the fact that Qatar's strikers are about as talented as Jozy. These steeds will carry the cart of Iran to victory.  Carlos Queiroz (pronounced kɐjˈɾɔʃ) is a Portuguese journeyman of a manager, leading Real Madrid to a Supercup and nothing else in 2003 and Sporting to two cups in 1995. It seems cups are a speciality of this man, which we can only applaud. He has also won a world championship with Portuguese youth in 1989 AND 1991, it's almost like Queiroz was made to win this year's World Cup. He has clearly shown he is willing to learn more from his two stints at the side of SIR ALEX FERUGSON and, much like the prophet Muhammad, has spread his joyous message to the United States in the Q-Report to develop football across the Pacific (from Iran's point of view Inch'Allah). Also like Muhammad, his words seem to be shunned by most Americans. Of course, the cattle rider is nothing without his oxen - it is a provisional squad of 30 men, FIFA demands we sacrifice seven:  Rahman Ahmadi - GK, Sepahan (IRAN) A journeyman, which is probably a bad sign of how good this goalkeeper is. He's won three Iran Pro League titles though and dammit that counts. Pbuh drat all who say it doesn't.  Alireza Haghighi - GK, Sporting Covilha (POR) - on loan from Rubin Kazan (RUS) Has been at a club for longer than a year which in my opinion makes him already a better choice as first goalkeeper than the previous dude. He plays in Europe!!! He kept a club from relegation! Put him on the plane Carlos!!!  Daniel Davari - GK, Free agent! Will leave Eintracht Braunschweig (GER) Is both German and Iranian! Has appearances in the Bundesliga! Can you believe that? poo poo, gently caress that old dude Davari and Haghighi are -relatively- loving great compared to him. Let's ignore the fact Braunschweig got relegated, I'm pretty sure it's only because Hamburg is cursed to never leave the Bundesliga. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phDwyH9y0Mw Sosha Makani - GK, Foolad (IRAN) Makani was the goalkeeper in the team that is the current Iran Pro League champions and got them to knockout spots in the Asian Champions League. There's five goalkeepers on this loving provisional team and I bet it's to show the old fucker how poo poo he really is. My goodness I cannot believe there's a steady increase of quality. Will not play against Nigeria because of the rumble that happened between South Korea and Iran after Iran qualified for the World Cup.  Alireza Beiranvand - GK, Naft Tehran (IRAN) why the long face pal hahaha  Jalal Hosseini - CB, Persepolis (IRAN) According to Wikipedia®, Persepolis are Iran Pro League giants. No wonder that starting centreback Seyed Jalal Hosseini is getting a call from Quieroz. Has a Bachelor degree in German studies, which will come in handy should Iran meet Germany in the final. Wanted to become a teacher but chose the beautiful game. Pbuh drat all who assume he chose poorly. Was Asia's best centre back in 2011, which pretty much means he's better than a regular Eredivisie defender in my opinion.  Ehsan Hajsafi - LB, Sepahan (IRAN) Actually looks like a pretty decent player for Iranian standards, but I found out there is a team called Tractor Sazi in Iran and I found that immensely more interesting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tractor_Sazi_F.C. Goal.com's Most Promising Asian Footballer of 2009  Khosro Heydari - RB, Esteghlal (IRAN) Used to play for a team called Aboomoslem. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F.C._Aboomoslem Once again team names are more interesting than the player. Nice hair though.  Pejman Montazeri - DF, Umm-Salal (QAT) His transfer to Qatar shocked at least one person on persianfootball.com http://www.persianfootball.com/forums/showthread.php?110084-Pejman-Montazeri-Umm-Salal-SC-2014  Hossein Mahini - RB, Persepolis (IRAN) Mahini is known in Iran for his "speed" and his "crossing".  Mehrdad Pooladi - LB, Persepolis (IRAN) Name posted without comment. Apparently actually a midfielder???  Hashem Beikzadeh - LB, Esteghlal (IRAN) Has been ON THE PLANE for ages, wonders when he will be set free from his torment. Pbuh drat airlines.  Amir Hossein Sadeghi - CB, Esteghlal (IRAN) Doesn't seem to actually be an emir. Can Iran really send filthy liars to the World Cup? I guess it's for Carlos to decide.  Mohammedreza Khanzadeh - CB, Zob Ahan (IRAN) - on loan from Persepolis (IRAN) So good of a player he was allowed to merge his two first names into one.  Ahmad Alenemeh - DF, Naft Tehran (IRAN) Renowned for his "exceptional shooting ability". Source: the book 'Ahmad Alenemeh' of which the Google Books summary starts with "Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online".  Has to hide his real first name in the MLS??? hosed up but true. Oddly enough, an American with double nationality who did not choose to play in the USMNT. He is a hero for Iran. Go Mehrdad.  Javad Nekounam - MF, Al-Kuwait (KUW) Closest personification of Allah we were allowed to see on Earth among men, Osasuna Legend, captain of the Iran national team. He was once 'tapped up' by Rangers. Truly the pinnacle of Iranian football to this day. It would be a shame if he retired without a World Cup...  Andranik Teymourian - DM, Esteghlal (IRAN) Used to play in England! Bolton, Fulham and Barnsley demigod. Is respected in Iran because of his PASSION and DEVOTION, coming to a climax when he collapsed in a heap of true sorrow towards the Iranian people when Iran got kicked out of the 2006 World Cup.  Mohammad Reza Khalatbari - Winger, Persepolis (IRAN) - on loan for Ajman (UAE) Was not allowed to merge his two first names into one. Was denied a stint in Köln because "he might be a problem in Germany", showing that racism is still a thing.  Masoud Shojaei, MF - Las Palmas (ESP) The worst of the three former Osasuna players.  Ghasem Haddadifar, MF - Zob Ahan (IRAN) Is 30 and seems to have done gently caress all.  Ashkan Dejagah, AM - Fulham (ENG) Actually a proper football player! poo poo dude, maybe Iran may not become fourth in their group and actually win the whole loving tournament. Yowza! However it's a bit disappointing he only started playing for Iran once he realized everyone in the German team was better. Fulham Player of the Year  Alireza Jahanbakhsh, RM - NEC (NED) Eredivisie striker hopeful which means he'll be poo poo at the world cup. Sweet laptop.  Reza Haghighi, DM - Persepolis (IRAN) Holy poo poo it's Iranian Luis Suarez.  Bakhtiar Rahmani, MF - Foolad (IRAN) A true 'ultra', Bakhtiar is often seen among the Foolad home crowd when he is suspended.  Karim Ansarifard, FW - Tractor Sazi (IRAN) One of FIFA.com's players to watch out for (2012), one of Goal.com's top 100 hottest prospects, one of World Soccer's best young players... Ali Daei's successor in Iran??? The Iranian Thomas Muller??? Inch'Allah.  Reza Ghoochannejhad, FW - Charlton Athletic (ENG) Oh hey someone I have actually seen play, in real life!!! He was too poo poo for the Jupiler Pro League so uhh take your conclusions from there. Pbuh drat Duchatelet  Reza Norouzi, FW - Naft Tehran (IRAN) Nice passport photo, [persian for dweeb]  Sardar Azmoun, FW - Rubin Kazan (RUS) Carlos Quieroz knows his strength lies in training our youth and has therefore brought a 14 year old along.  Mehdi Sharifi, Assistant Professor - Trent University (CAN) I don't know what Quieroz is thinking with this pick. But then again I'm no football manager. Ok let's see what group Iran are in eh...  I think those first letters might be a sign to where Iran will end up!!! Now to finish with our World Cup theme, recorded before the latest elections so it might be a bit dated  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHvvHl-hMR0
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May 27, 2014 21:24
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poo lad ftw
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May 27, 2014 21:27
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May 27, 2014 21:32
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iran will finally lift the famous old cup over the sobbing, defeated corpses of the USMNT when they meet in the final inshallah
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May 27, 2014 21:34
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belgend posted:
I'm pretty sure I read this post on that exact same laptop. Spooky. Also, what a poo poo team, can't even do better than Trent University.
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May 27, 2014 21:46
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As someone of persian ethnicity i approve of this thread.
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May 27, 2014 23:31
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Wirth1000 posted:As someone of persian ethnicity i approve of this thread. As someone of Arab ethnicity i do not
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May 27, 2014 23:35
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Hashtag Nascar posted:As someone of Arab ethnicity i do not 
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May 27, 2014 23:41
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belgend posted:
What the gently caress, this traitorous motherfucker needs to be brought round back and shot like the piece of poo poo that he is!!!! I hope he rots in gay hell (this is real bad for him since Muslims dont like gays) and chokes on a uhhh...*flips through wikipedia* KOFTA, after Jozy beats him in to submission!!! Stupid terrorist fuckface rear end in a top hat shitbag!!!!!
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May 28, 2014 01:47
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lmao Carlos loving Queiroz is the Iranian manager? Good luck being obliterated Toni was right loving there, just pick him up ffs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2sITV4zq8Q
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May 28, 2014 02:50
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No Ali Karimi in the squad?
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May 28, 2014 08:15
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euroboy posted:No Ali Karimi in the squad? Karimi retired in 2013 and did not answer Quieroz' question if he could come back for the World Cup
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May 28, 2014 09:44
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Mans posted:lmao Carlos loving Queiroz is the Iranian manager? Tractor is a really good name for a team.
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May 28, 2014 10:34
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KoldPT posted:Tractor is a really good name for a team. Sazi (pronounced saw-zee) means factory/manufacturer so the team is literally called Tractor Factory FC.
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May 28, 2014 17:26
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Wirth1000 posted:Sazi (pronounced saw-zee) means factory/manufacturer so the team is literally called Tractor Factory FC. Sounds like some mad loving win
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May 28, 2014 18:25
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Reminder that Iran beat the USMNT in the 1998 WC and I laughed
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May 28, 2014 18:37
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It looked a little like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snUt08ziO5s
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May 28, 2014 18:37
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Vando posted:It looked a little like this: This reminds me of when VCRs were cutting edge technology.
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May 29, 2014 11:51
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I've got a good feeling about this match against Nigeria and Iran will show the world who the real Aryans are.
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Jun 16, 2014 16:12
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I hope they lose horribly.
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Jun 16, 2014 16:55
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I will NOT be drinking any Iranian beer when i watch this match.
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Jun 16, 2014 17:06
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pbfuck
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Jun 16, 2014 21:56
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That was a slower start than I would have liked, but there are a lot of positives we can take from that match.
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Jun 16, 2014 21:58
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Big big fan of these lads.
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Jun 16, 2014 21:59
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Good draw lads. Beat Argentina and you're in.
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Jun 16, 2014 21:59
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Allah owning the Iranians for their Shi'ite apostasy mashallah.
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Jun 16, 2014 22:33
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| # ? May 6, 2024 18:59 |
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good to see a fellow asian nation not lose good stuff iran looking forward to you playing *checks* argentina? yeah you'll gently caress them up good stuff mates
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Jun 16, 2014 22:52
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