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My dick gets me in a lot of trouble. Sometimes I think my penis is a total retard. On snowy days I pin a pair of mittens to my balls so I don't forget. -ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ |
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May 31, 2014 09:26
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| # ? May 13, 2024 09:50 |
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Inadvertent Haikus Uttered Upon the Discombobulating Discovery that the Girl You Just Slept with Has a Sizeable Penis Thailand O WTF O! WTF O WTF! O WTF O! <> America O OMG O! OMG O OMG! O OMG O! <> Israel Oy! Oy Vais Mir! Oy! Oy Vais Mir! Oy! Oy Vais Mir! Oy! Oy Vais Mir! Oy! <> France Ah! Conneries! Ah! Conneries! Ah! Conneries! Ah! Conneries! Ah! <> Great Britain Ouch! Fish & Chips! Ouch! Fish & Chips! Ouch! Fish & Chips! Ouch! Fish & Chips! Ouch! <> Japan OH! OH SHI TE! OH! OH SHI TE! OH! OH SHI TE! OH! OH SHI TE! OH! <> Battlestar Galactica OM! Felgercarb! OM! Felgercarb! OM! Felgercarb! OM! Felgercarb! OM! <> Duck Quack! Quackquackquack! Quack! Quackquackquack! Quack! Quackquackquack! Quack! Quackquackquack! Quack! -ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ |
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May 31, 2014 09:29
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Poem to Penis I really love my penis, even in the morning when It is a little stiff. Even when It smiles at me and I really have to piss. Oh, yes I love my penis and I think you'd love It too! I really love my penis, even in the afternoon, when It sits so peaceful and tells me them stories of days gone by, of them maidens with oh so shining hair. Oh, yes I love my penis and I think you'd love It too! I really love my penis in the latest nights It lets me let off steam and fall asleep with ease. I really love my penis and you would love It too, if just HE had a penis, half as good as mine! -Martin Rasmussen |
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May 31, 2014 09:32
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Porno penis (song ) Very regent at the pageant she was pretty he was petty Death was in the air She was godsent He was mindbent He cooked her medium rare All I want is a porno penis -Brujo Alligatore |
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May 31, 2014 09:33
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An Ode to my Penis You have been with me from the start soft hard, never bothered which one you were when I was young at heart. I used to pull you my second brain, little soft then long and hard, as I grew, you grew with me a friend that never left. Only in the cold I wondered where you are. The years did pass and hair you grew, where once I had pulled, now you just went hard. Embarrassed I was as always hard around the girls, some laughed while others played with it spitting at them when excitedly hard. Age moved on my friend for life still with me still getting hard but when I wanted you no more embarrassment on my face at random hard. My second brain, getting wasted each day, never unclean as cheesy smell I do not want as girls would run a far. We played in the wetness we have come so far letting the children out in the damp park. My wife screamed harder deeper my god your big I love your hardness up me and the children were excited out of the umbrella they went a bit to far. You have been with me through the soft and the hard, got me in trouble, now three children later I must end your spitting but you can still go hard. Penis your my friend to the end when we had no one a palm and a video was are night in, then softly you went as to sleep in my palm, from the beginning through the soft and the hard. -POETIC T |
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May 31, 2014 09:35
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Stop telling everyone you have a big penis. Jesus. I have a huge dick But I don't go around Telling everyone about it. -Kurt Kanawa |
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May 31, 2014 09:37
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8 inches long straight as an arrow Can you believe this bone hath not marrow, Eyes wide open, disbelief, mouth agape, As pools of sweat begin to form on your nape, And you behold with reverence, the object of your attention, God's gift to you, my magnificent erection. -mikey_donuts |
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May 31, 2014 09:47
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Big and thick loves to be licked not so quick can be used like a stick and makes the girls gag.... -Schoolboy 42 |
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May 31, 2014 09:49
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same but unironically |
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May 31, 2014 09:51
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The Penis Poem My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I’ve got a full time job, To find the gosh darn thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches, It sure gives me the blues. To see it hang its little head, And watch me tie my shoes!! -Willie Nelson |
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May 31, 2014 09:54
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Curved right, thick, long Deep, rock hard, hooded blackness white girl specific -mike |
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May 31, 2014 09:57
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This is a poem about a woman who calls my cock a penis... From 1 to 4 inches is a weewee From 4 to 6 inches is a penis From 6 to 8 inches is a dick From 8 and above is a cock My cock took offense to what you called him You should tell him your sorry, and that You want him in that tight spot thats so hot... Haha ok I made you a peom... And hole we can chat wow your amazingly gorgeous and stunning. Hope we can chat. Ohv u owe me a picture and I'll think of a better poem to write you Hun :-) and I can return a pic if you'd like -puppyeyes99 |
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May 31, 2014 10:07
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Penis breath, a lover's dread is what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to be be grateful that he doesn't pee. It's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reching for his fly. But it's too late, can't be a tease accept the facts, get on your knees. You know you've got a job to do so open wide and shove it through. Lick the tip then take it all don't drag you teeth or he might bawl. Slide up and down, use your tongue and feel the pre-cum start to run. So when the gently caress's he gonna cum just, when you can't take anymore you hear your lovers mighty roar. And when he hits that real high note you feel it oozing down your throat. Salty, fishy, sticky yucky stuff Okay, already thats enough. Let's switch you say, before you gag and what's your revenge, your on the rag. -Unknown |
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May 31, 2014 10:09
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flaccid and worthless and really not that pretty penises are dumb |
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May 31, 2014 10:10
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is that an original? |
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May 31, 2014 10:11
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girth of a coke can length of a triple a nine volt battery... oh -unknown |
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May 31, 2014 10:12
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The Fresh Prince posted:is that an original? yes, written by the very famous haiku poet ulvir sama |
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May 31, 2014 10:13
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ulvir posted:yes, written by the very famous haiku poet ulvir sama very nice |
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May 31, 2014 10:14
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a Dick Schlong Pork Cock Dong Meat Boner Nuts Shaft Balls Testicles Gonads Sack Junk -Ben edit: heh heh heh, nice one Ben. |
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May 31, 2014 10:15
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there once was a young twitter hunk who could deep throat his own lengthy junk he recorded his act and texted girls that 'if you wanted, we could share this spunk' 
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May 31, 2014 12:28
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There once was a man from Nantucket Who's dick was so big he could suck it And he said with a grin As he wiped off his chin "If my ear were a oval office I would gently caress it" |
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May 31, 2014 13:09
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TiMBuS posted:there once was a young twitter hunk |
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May 31, 2014 15:31
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TiMBuS posted:there once was a young twitter hunk |
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May 31, 2014 19:33
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my cock is like a pizza 2 inches deep, 12 inches around and covered in melted cheese -lildiknigga |
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May 31, 2014 20:27
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My love of dicks, no word expresses Some are failures, and others successes But (don't give me flack) I keep coming back To the micro-cock Nomates possesses blaise rascal fucked around with this message at 21:08 on May 31, 2014 |
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May 31, 2014 20:54
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ha ha ha ha ha u have such a tiny penis ha ha ha ha ha |
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May 31, 2014 23:28
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| # ? May 13, 2024 09:50 |
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dopepope posted:My love of dicks, no word expresses 
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Jun 1, 2014 02:31
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