UKMT June: Emu was Rod Hull's patsy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT June: Emu was Rod Hull's patsy

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XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

I'd probably chop one off if they were charging per ear. Think of the savings!

# ? Jun 1, 2014 15:32

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# ? May 2, 2024 17:14

twoot: Oct 29, 2012

HortonNash posted:

Parents are deluded as to the ability of their progeny. I've had children, thick as two short planks, whose parents told me to my face that their kid is going to be a lawyer or doctor.

If they spend enough money to teach them how to pass exams then thickness won't stop them.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 15:36

Farecoal: Oct 15, 2011; There he go

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

No.

Yes.

Maybe???

I don't know.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 18:23

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

Time for tits to point up once again.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/b...ke-9466823.html

quote:

British taxpayers risk losing their entire �45bn stake in Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) which is in grave danger of failing within 10 years, according to an explosive new book.

A new study of the disgraced bank, which brought the UK to the brink of financial ruin, reveals RBS still has a �100bn �black hole� in its finances due to �five broad areas of alleged criminality and wrongdoing�.

They include the mis-selling of financial products such as payment protection insurance, the alleged duping of investors who were persuaded to plough more than �12bn into RBS shares just before the banking crash in 2008, further fallout from the Libor scandal, and current criminal investigations into the manipulation of the �3trn-a-day foreign exchange markets.

Shredded: Inside RBS, The Bank That Broke Britain, by the financial journalist Ian Fraser, concludes that the governments led by Gordon Brown and David Cameron have �let the people of Britain down� by failing to reform RBS after it received its mammoth bailout under the stewardship of former chief executive Fred �The Shred� Goodwin.

�The result has been that, at the time of writing, RBS is probably a worse bank than it was under Fred Goodwin,� Fraser said. �If the right moves are now made, RBS could become a great bank again. If they�re not, I doubt it will even exist in 10 years� time.

�Whatever happens, it now seems impossible that British taxpayers will ever see a return on their �45.5bn investment in the bank,� he writes in the book.

Frasier's analyses the bank�s extraordinary largesse under Goodwin, whom, he claims, squandered billions of pounds on overpriced acquisitions, fleets of Mercedes and extravagant buildings and decor.

The book also claims that Goodwin and his wife, Joyce, avoided tens of thousands of pounds in personal tax liabilities over their repeated use of a controversial �20m private jet bought by RBS in 2002.

Fraser says the Goodwins� excessive trips on the Dassault Falcon 900EX executive jet led Her Majesty�s Revenue and Customs to conclude that it should be taxed as a �benefit in kind�.

Fraser writes :�To avoid this, ex-insiders claim the bank transferred ownership of the corporate jet from the Royal Bank of Scotland Group to RBS�s Lombard Aviation leasing subsidiary. This gave the impression that the Falcon 900EX was not just a personal plaything and dedicated air taxi for the chief executive, but was chartered out to third parties on a regular basis.�

The book claims �most senior RBS executives dreaded going on the plane with Goodwin because of his lack of social skills�. The plane was configured to include a bedroom for Goodwin, which caused a few problems for his co-passengers on long-distance flights, it is claimed.

�Executives who did travel overnight with Goodwin were obliged to sit up all night while Fred reclined in regal splendour in his bedroom aft,� Fraser writes. �The arrangement was a double inconvenience since, once Goodwin had gone to bed, the plane�s only toilet became inaccessible, because you had to pass through his private suite to reach it. �We�d be sitting there cross-legged all night,� said one.�

According to Fraser, former RBS chairman George Mathewson �almost had to plead� with Goodwin to have use of the jet, which had a maximum range of more than 5,000 miles, meaning it could comfortably fly non-stop from RBS headquarters in Edinburgh to Beijing and almost anywhere in the United States.

The book claims the RBS lavished vast amounts of its shareholders� money to support the lifestyles of its top executives.

One acquaintance is quoted as saying: �Fred wanted to live like Aristotle Onassis on other people�s money.�

Fraser quotes one former RBS insider who criticised the amount of money the bank spent on sponsorship of motor sport. �The amounts of money that were wasted on Formula One were shocking,� he said. �The bank spent about �28m in the first year of the Williams sponsorship.

�There was no logic to it at all � it was just a vanity thing for Fred and because he liked motor sport.

However, Fraser claims the �true villains of the piece� are the �politicians, central bankers, regulators and the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision� who allowed people like Goodwin believe they could �get away with virtually anything, whilst defying financial gravity and existing above the law�.

Fraser writes: �Morality and ethics were thrown out the window and we saw the mis-selling of rip-off products on an epic scale � including the scandals of payment protection insurance and interest-rate swap agreements sold to small- and medium-sized enterprises.

�The Treasury, the FSA [Financial Services Authority] and the Bank of England all turned a deaf ear to the complaints from the banks� millions of �victims� and paid scant heed to the overall balance-sheet strength � capital, liquidity and asset quality � of British banks.

�And, at various stages between 1988 and 2008, British politicians also outsourced critical aspects of banking regulation and supervision to the private sector body, the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision, which enabled the bankers to write their own rules. That, in itself, was an error easily as bad as any committed by Goodwin. So he is right. We can�t just blame it all on him.�

Shredded claims the culture at RBS is still as �poisonous� as ever, and quotes one City expert who claims the bank was manipulating its finances in 2012 in order to give the impression it could be returned to private ownership.

Tim Bush, head of governance and financial analysis at corporate governance watchdog Pensions and Investments Research Consultants is reported to have told Fraser: �My analysis was that RBS was aggressively puffing all the numbers in the hope of a quick and dirty sale.� Fraser said Bush�s view was confirmed in June 2013 when regulator the Prudential Regulation Authority identified a further �13.6bn capital black hole at RBS.

Fraser paints a bleak picture for the future of Britain�s biggest bank and, as a result, the UK economy.

He concludes: �If there is to be one lesson from the RBS catastrophe from an internal company perspective, it is that Britain�s much vaunted system of corporate governance is broken and is in need of an urgent overhaul.�

# ? Jun 1, 2014 18:27

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Gonzo McFee posted:

Time for tits to point up once again.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/b...ke-9466823.html

scotland can have it, voting independence

# ? Jun 1, 2014 19:19

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

I dont know allot about football but im fairly sure Italy are definatly better than England and Uruguay are a bit better so hopefully that means we go straight out in the first round right? Then the adverts with the red cross painted faces and general stupidness can all stop?

# ? Jun 1, 2014 19:45

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Seaside Loafer posted:

I dont know allot about football but im fairly sure Italy are definatly better than England and Uruguay are a bit better so hopefully that means we go straight out in the first round right? Then the adverts with the red cross painted faces and general stupidness can all stop?

Uruguay have good players but no idea how to use them so nope, England will be second and probably scrape to the QFs too.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 19:48

marktheando: Nov 4, 2006

As a supporter of the Yes campaign, I hope England win the world cup.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 19:49

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

Spangly A posted:

Uruguay have good players but no idea how to use them so nope, England will be second and probably scrape to the QFs too.

bollocks. ive nothing against football, its the fans

# ? Jun 1, 2014 19:53

Engage!: Apr 21, 2011

Football is coming home lads.
A series of accidents and injuries means England find themselves in the final one man short for penalties. 'Who will be our saviour?' the nation asks. Out steps Nigel. Downs his pint, scores the winner and gives two fingers to Brussels.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 20:30

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

Seaside Loafer posted:

bollocks. ive nothing against football, its the fans

Is it a bit too working class for you unlike ruggers and croquet?

# ? Jun 1, 2014 20:35

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

Pissflaps posted:

Is it a bit too working class for you unlike ruggers and croquet?

no its the hordes of the bastards packing the loving train to standing room only pissed up and chanting when i go to babysit my daughter

e: and every loving pub

# ? Jun 1, 2014 20:39

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

Seaside Loafer posted:

no its the hordes of the bastards packing the loving train to standing room only pissed up and chanting when i go to babysit my daughter

e: and every loving pub

Sounds frightful.

Good news though - nobody will be going to World Cup matches on the train.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 20:45

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Seaside Loafer posted:

no its the hordes of the bastards packing the loving train to standing room only pissed up and chanting when i go to babysit my daughter

e: and every loving pub

surely they get out of your way if you stink of poo poo on the train?

# ? Jun 1, 2014 20:59

Bozza: Mar 5, 2004; "I'm a really useful engine!"

Fuckin love the world cup even if the football is usually pretty poo poo.

I'm not a big IN-GER-LAND type but I do get excited and cheer and throw booze about when we score like. I like the atmosphere.

Spent all today doing marching band in a Guildford park after drinking until 4AM last night. Was interesting.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:00

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

JFairfax posted:

surely they get out of your way if you stink of poo poo on the train?

doesnt work if its standing room only, ive tried, once

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:00

Farecoal: Oct 15, 2011; There he go

Bozza posted:

Fuckin love the world cup even if the football is usually pretty poo poo.

I'm not a big IN-GER-LAND type but I do get excited and cheer and throw booze about when we score like. I like the atmosphere.

Spent all today doing marching band in a Guildford park after drinking until 4AM last night. Was interesting.

But but JOCKS!!!!!

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:03

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

Bozza posted:

Fuckin love the world cup even if the football is usually pretty poo poo.

I'm not a big IN-GER-LAND type but I do get excited and cheer and throw booze about when we score like. I like the atmosphere.

Spent all today doing marching band in a Guildford park after drinking until 4AM last night. Was interesting.

Wish my job hadn't fell through so I could afford to watch it in the pub.

But then I would have to be in work and not the pub.

This system doesn't work revolution immediately.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:05

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

mfcrocker posted:

Wish my job hadn't fell through so I could afford to watch it in the pub.

But then I would have to be in work and not the pub.

This system doesn't work revolution immediately.

Work in a pub.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:08

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

My girlfriend has only 50 stickers left to get to complete her panine world cup album. Anyone got any swapsies?

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:08

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

How has it taken me this long to work out Panini stickers have nothing to do with delicious toasted sandwiches?

Anyway, I'm praying for an England-Germany match so I can support Germany.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:13

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Pissflaps posted:

Sounds frightful.

Good news though - nobody will be going to World Cup matches on the train.

yeah they will.
brazil have invested heavily in transport infrastructure upgrades, including light rail connecting stadia to city centres.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:17

SybilVimes: Oct 29, 2011

XMNN posted:

How has it taken me this long to work out Panini stickers have nothing to do with delicious toasted sandwiches?

Anyway, I'm praying for an England-Germany match so I can support Germany.

Just think of the next day when thousands of kippers are found to have had a stroke

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:17

Bozza: Mar 5, 2004; "I'm a really useful engine!"

Oh yeah, if anyone fancies coming to see some marching bands and watch forums train nerd poster Bozza lay down some massive notes on a bass drum, we are playing in Bradford in 2 weeks, then in Woking on 29th June.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:17

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

XMNN posted:

How has it taken me this long to work out Panini stickers have nothing to do with delicious toasted sandwiches?

Anyway, I'm praying for an England-Germany match so I can support Germany.

The only thing better than supporting Germany from an anti-imperialist position is supporting England from the revolutionary defeatism position.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:18

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Cerv posted:

yeah they will.
brazil have invested heavily in transport infrastructure upgrades, including light rail connecting stadia to city centres.

no they wont, half the sodding riots are about the fact they made the trains utterly unaffordable by doing so at a time when the world cup meant they had no money.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:19

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

XMNN posted:

Anyway, I'm praying for an England-Germany match so I can support Germany.

i'm hoping for England - Iran so the guys with the huge 'supporting both teams' banner above their shop on kensington high st have to pick a side

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:21

SybilVimes: Oct 29, 2011

Spangly A posted:

no they wont, half the sodding riots are about the fact they made the trains utterly unaffordable by doing so at a time when the world cup meant they had no money.

unaffordable for LOCALs, but this is the world cup, the rich foreigners will be able to afford the trains just fine. And even better there'll be no smelly locals in their way.

see, neo-libralism works!

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:22

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Spangly A posted:

no they wont, half the sodding riots are about the fact they made the trains utterly unaffordable by doing so at a time when the world cup meant they had no money.

unaffordable to the locals. but the football tourists who've already spend hundreds on flights and match tickets can.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:22

Stottie Kyek: Apr 26, 2008; fuckin egg in a bun

I'm 1/4 Dutch so I've decided that every four years I am Dutch (coincidentally this is on World Cup years). Also in the MEP elections, in the Netherlands, the various fascist parties' vote share fell from last time, so that's some good at least even if Geert and co aren't gone completely.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:24

Fluo: May 25, 2007

Seaside Loafer posted:

no its the hordes of the bastards packing the loving train to standing room only pissed up and chanting when i go to babysit my daughter

e: and every loving pub

It's in Brazil.

Fluo fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Jun 1, 2014

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:25

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

XMNN posted:

Anyway, I'm praying for an England-Germany match so I can support Germany.

So edgy.

Can't stand football.

But that's mostly due to disappointments with every world cup and European championship ever.... and also occasionally supporting Leeds Utd.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:26

Bozza: Mar 5, 2004; "I'm a really useful engine!"

tooterfish posted:

So edgy.

Can't stand football.

But that's mostly due to disappointments with every world cup and European championship ever.... and also occasionally supporting Leeds Utd.

The life of a Leeds United fan mate, I know your pain.

Best fans though.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:29

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

It's begun, prepare for the ECHR to be revoked.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:31

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

tooterfish posted:

So edgy.

Can't stand football.

But that's mostly due to disappointments with every world cup and European championship ever.... and also occasionally supporting Leeds Utd.

To be fair, I'll be supporting Germany the rest of the tournament as well but there is the added bonus of winding people up when they're playing England.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:34

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

Fluo posted:

It's in Brazil.

Im reffering to the home games at brighton and hove albion silly.

e: honsetly its rammed and very annoying

Seaside Loafer fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Jun 1, 2014

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:35

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

I'll be supporting France because if they win I get 15 bottles of wine.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:35

AVeryLargeRadish: Aug 19, 2011; I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE A WEIRD SEXUAL CREEP ABOUT PREPUBESCENT ANIME GIRLS, READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE!!!

Forgive me, I'm an american so I don't know, but is it true that during the world cup the streets of england become filled with mobs of drunken men wearing jerseys and wielding knives, broken bottles and broken bar furniture? How many casualties are expected? :ohdear:

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:36

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

AVeryLargeRadish posted:

Forgive me, I'm an american so I don't know, but is it true that during the world cup the streets of england become filled with mobs of drunken men wearing jerseys and wielding knives, broken bottles and broken bar furniture? How many casualties are expected?

yes but this is also true during every millwall game so we don't really notice

namesake posted:

I'll be supporting France because if they win I get 15 bottles of wine.

this is a good deal

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:40

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# ? May 2, 2024 17:14

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

Nah, that's just Saturday night.

# ? Jun 1, 2014 21:40

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