TRP Toxx Thread for Brazil 2014: You'll Never Recover From This

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > TRP Toxx Thread for Brazil 2014: You'll Never Recover From This

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Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

Your football opinions are loving poo poo and we all deserve to laugh at you when you get an 11 year probation for them. Here, finally, is your opportunity to risk forums disgrace and your actual, real money in return for absolutely nothing but bragging rights against brutal trolls.

How confident are you that Jozy will have a moderately successful tournament and score his three hat-tricks in the group? Will the autistic midget go home without a single goal? Is football, in fact, coming home? Please, enlighten us. Your wager can be whatever you want.

I'll keep mine simple: football is not coming home. Ban me if England make it out of the group.

LT.CrownRoast posted:

I like these threads. Ban me if the USMNT don't make it out of the group.

julian assflange posted:

ban me if England win the World Cup 2014

Bogan Krkic posted:

Ban me, and also everyone, if Australia get as far as the Semi Final

rear end cobra posted:

Ban me if England wins a penalty shootout

Babby Thatcher posted:

if the USA score a single goal in their matches, the regulars in the non-competitive everybody loves Wes Morgan USMNT thread can choose me an avatar which I will wear for the rest of 2014

ephex posted:

Probate me one month for every goal Jozy scores (including penalties), ban me if the USA make it out of their group and permaban me if either the USA or England win the World Cup.

Byolante posted:

If Australia make it out of their group probate me for a week every point they get in the groups and every goal they score in the knockouts.

Bovril Delight posted:

Probate me for a week for every goal the USA score in the group stages & ban me if they make it out of the group stage.

The Mash posted:

Change my name to #1 jozy fan if Jozy scores a goal at the WC

and ban me if he gets 2

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

If Australia beats the Netherlands, forums user "Bogan Krkic" may decide on an appropriately Australian av that I will buy and wear for one year

Troy Queef posted:

I'll eat a ban if Jozy Altidore scores more goals than Edin Dzeko.

Abu Dave posted:

Permaban me if Jozy outscores Rooney

Mans posted:

Probate me for a week for every goal Portugal suffers in the group stage.

Ban me if the U.S. or England wins the cup.

Spangly A posted:

I'll take a month for every goal Rooney scores please rachel, and a nederlands-centric tattoo chosen by idk Oliwan if Holland win.

I Feast On Dogshit posted:

If Jozy's SiBoT rating is higher than Messi or Ronaldo probate me in days for the gap between the two ratings

But first you need to multiply the gap between the amount of games Jozy plays, divided by the goals he scored and finally subtract the amount of times he falls over.

corpuscollossus posted:

Ban me if the USMNT make it out their group and probate me for a month if Jozy doesn't score

Popehoist posted:

Forums user Byolante may select a new custom title for me at my own expense if Australia make it out of the group stages

Ban me if England win a penalty shootout.

Barry Shitpeas posted:

I will take a week's probation if Jozy scores the winning goal in the 69th minute of the final, against England

Koesj posted:

Ban me if either Belgium or Germany win the title, permaban me if one of them beats Holland in the final.

JFairfax posted:

Probate me for one week if Italy beat England on Saturday.

url posted:

Same:
Also if Portugal wins.

Perma me if CR doesn't dive

E:

A month for every CR goal

Nostradingus posted:

Probate me for six hours if Iran win the World Cup

belgend posted:

I will post my balls if one of Belgium's neighbouring countries (i.e. France, Germany or Holland) win the World Cup

I Feast On Dogshit posted:

i will post picture of me eating a 16" chippy box if Spain or Germany win the World Cup

permaban me if I fail to fulfil my promise

quiet enjoyment posted:

ban me if Neymar is booked for diving during any game

ban me if Brazil make it to the final and do not win the whole thing

ban me if Brazil make it to the final and any of their players get sent off with a red during that game

crown me the king of TRP if Ecuador win the whole thing (i drew them in the sweepstakes)

T Bowl posted:

I will take a probation for three months if the USA top their group. Risky stuff I know.

saihttam posted:

Permaban me if England or USA wins the World Cup because this forum will be insuffarable

Dunban posted:

I will post my balls if Belgium wins the World Cup

ZappDash posted:

Probate me for one week for:

-every instance during match play that embarrassing issues of stadium construction are not able to be swept under the rug in time.
-if either England or USMNT make it out of group stages.

Probate for for one day for:

-each instance that Kyle Beckerman's gross and greasy dreadlocks touch an opposing player on 50/50 balls (this can be liberally determined, as any opposing player matched up against Beckerman on aerial challenges is close enough to his hair to cause discomfort).
-every time Jozy needlessly falls down.

Inject me with HGH for:

-every CR7 hat trick.

Everyone takes a drink:

-every time a crowd shot includes a scantily clad woman.

eeS. posted:

I�m a bit late to the party but whatever:-

Ban me if England beat Germany in the final.
Ban me if a goal keeper scores a goal during open play football.

Tongues posted:

Australia will make it out of the group stages, and will top the group. I will buy and proudly display any av that any bastard designs if this is not so

Olewithmilk posted:

Ban me if Jozy Alitdore scores a single goal in this world cup

BEARS IN THE BARN posted:

permaban me if USA gets out of their group

Popehoist posted:

Probate me until the first day of the Sky Bet Football League Season if costa rica reach the semi finals

ban me if luis suarez plays another game in this tournament

scourgeofthe7bees posted:

I'll take 1 week of probation for each of the 3 CONCACAF teams still in it that doesn't make it to the quarterfinals.

LT.CrownRoast posted:

Ban me if Germany wins the World Cup because it would be a disgrace.

the posted:

Probate me for one day for every goal Miroslav Klose scores

Poonior Toilett fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Jul 10, 2014

# ? Jun 7, 2014 00:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 8, 2024 15:31

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

I do not have any confident predictions about the world cup.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 05:48

LT.CrownRoast: Mar 20, 2009; by XyloJW

I like these threads. Ban me if the USMNT don't make it out of the group.

:toxx:

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 7, 2014 07:28

Sneaks McDevious: Jul 29, 2010; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

ban me if England win the World Cup 2014

# ? Jun 7, 2014 09:07

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Ban me, and also everyone, if Australia get as far as the Semi Final

# ? Jun 7, 2014 09:10

Sneaks McDevious: Jul 29, 2010; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Bogan Krkic posted:

Ban me, and also everyone, if Australia get as far as the Semi Final

Pretty sure the rapture would begin anyway

# ? Jun 7, 2014 09:28

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

Ban me if England wins a penalty shootout

# ? Jun 7, 2014 10:00

Babby Thatcher: May 3, 2004; concept by my buddy kyle

if the USA score a single goal in their matches, the regulars in the non-competitive everybody loves Wes Morgan USMNT thread can choose me an avatar which I will wear for the rest of 2014

# ? Jun 7, 2014 11:03

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Bogan Krkic posted:

Ban me, and also everyone, if Australia get as far as the Semi Final

I will enforce this one

# ? Jun 7, 2014 11:45

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

Bogan Krkic posted:

Ban me, and also everyone, if Australia get as far as the Semi Final

I like these odds

# ? Jun 7, 2014 14:27

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

Probate me one month for every goal Jozy scores (including penalties), ban me if the USA make it out of their group and permaban me if either the USA or England win the World Cup.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 16:54

Eau de MacGowan: May 12, 2009; BRASIL HEXA
2026 tá logo aí

Taff vowed to read my posts if England win the world cup, I expect this :toxx:

to be upheld.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 16:57

The Big Taff Man: Nov 22, 2005; Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16; Fan of Britches

Eau de MacGowan posted:

Taff vowed to read my posts if England win the world cup, I expect this to be upheld.

I dont know what this post says as I didnt read it

But if England win the world cup, I will definitely read it.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 17:26

FullLeatherJacket: Dec 30, 2004; Chiunque pu� essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

If the United States win the World Cup, I will stop laughing at US service personnel killed in wars for one month

# ? Jun 7, 2014 18:55

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Babby Thatcher posted:

if the USA score a single goal in their matches, the regulars in the non-competitive everybody loves Wes Morgan USMNT thread can choose me an avatar which I will wear for the rest of 2014

Man up you coward, that's nothing.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 18:56

Byolante: Mar 23, 2008; by Cyrano4747

If Australia make it out of their group probate me for a week every point they get in the groups and every goal they score in the knockouts.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 19:09

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Probate me for a week for every goal the USA score in the group stages & ban me if they make it out of the group stage.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 7, 2014 19:27

The Mash: Feb 17, 2007; You have to say I can open my presents

Change my name to #1 jozy fan if Jozy scores a goal at the WC

and ban me if he gets 2

# ? Jun 7, 2014 19:41

hopterque: Mar 9, 2007; sup

ephex posted:

Probate me one month for every goal Jozy scores (including penalties), ban me if the USA make it out of their group and permaban me if either the USA or England win the World Cup.

Woah.

# ? Jun 7, 2014 20:32

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

If Australia beats the Netherlands, forums user "Bogan Krkic" may decide on an appropriately Australian av that I will buy and wear for one year

# ? Jun 8, 2014 07:25

Troy Queef: Jan 12, 2013

I'll eat a ban if Jozy Altidore scores more goals than Edin Dzeko.

# ? Jun 8, 2014 07:42

Empress Brosephine: Mar 31, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Permaban me if Jozy outscores Rooney

# ? Jun 8, 2014 07:56

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

If Australia beats the Netherlands, forums user "Bogan Krkic" may decide on an appropriately Australian av that I will buy and wear for one year

I like these odds

# ? Jun 8, 2014 08:05

Thrifting Day!: Nov 25, 2006

Abu Dave posted:

Permaban me if Jozy outscores Rooney

This is a dangerous bet seeing as both are fat, balding strikers who are more likely to be huge gently caress ups.

And Jozy is always capable of scoring without meaning too.

# ? Jun 8, 2014 08:05

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Abu Dave posted:

Permaban me if Jozy outscores Rooney

Yesssss!!

I Feast On Dogshit posted:

This is a dangerous bet seeing as both are fat, balding strikers who are more likely to be huge gently caress ups.

And Jozy is always capable of scoring without meaning too.

Nonsense, all his scores are full of meaning and rich irony...

# ? Jun 8, 2014 16:30

Mans: Sep 14, 2011; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Probate me for a week for every goal Portugal suffers in the group stage.

Ban me if the U.S. or England wins the cup.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 8, 2014 20:37

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

If Brazil wins a match in the world cup make me mod of TFF

# ? Jun 8, 2014 20:49

Thrifting Day!: Nov 25, 2006

If Jozy's SiBoT rating is higher than Messi or Ronaldo probate me in days for the gap between the two ratings

But first you need to multiply the gap between the amount of games Jozy plays, divided by the goals he scored and finally subtract the amount of times he falls over.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 07:54

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

I'll take a month for every goal Rooney scores please rachel, and a nederlands-centric tattoo chosen by idk Oliwan if Holland win.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 10, 2014 08:06

Byolante: Mar 23, 2008; by Cyrano4747

Spangly A posted:

I'll take a month for every goal Rooney scores please rachel, and a nederlands-centric tattoo chosen by idk Oliwan if Holland win.

You are going to get swarte piet tattoed on your forehead and it will be glorious

# ? Jun 10, 2014 09:04

corpuscollossus: Apr 19, 2007

Ban me if the USMNT make it out their group and probate me for a month if Jozy doesn't score

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 10, 2014 09:07

Popehoist: Feb 5, 2008; There you go rubens, all your fault! You went on the wrong side of the car!

Forums user Byolante may select a new custom title for me at my own expense if Australia make it out of the group stages

Ban me if England win a penalty shootout.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 13:47

Barry Shitpeas: Dec 17, 2003; there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

I will take a week's probation if Jozy scores the winning goal in the 69th minute of the final, against England

# ? Jun 10, 2014 14:03

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I think this will be the best World Cup ever because Brazilians know how to do 2 things really well: play foot and throw massive festivals.
If the TRP consensus is that I'm wrong, and I rarely am, I will regretfully ask that Pissflaps be permabanned.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 23:34

Primpod: Dec 25, 2007; jamming on crusty white

I Feast On Dogshit posted:

If Jozy's SiBoT rating is higher than Messi or Ronaldo probate me in days for the gap between the two ratings

But first you need to multiply the gap between the amount of games Jozy plays, divided by the goals he scored and finally subtract the amount of times he falls over.

If the amount of goals he scores is zero and jozy falls down a non-infinite number of times this a tasty wager.

# ? Jun 10, 2014 23:48

Koesj: Aug 3, 2003

Ban me if either Belgium or Germany win the title, permaban me if one of them beats Holland in the final.

# ? Jun 11, 2014 10:00

fat gay nonce: May 13, 2003; _{actual penis length: |-----------|}

Winner, PWM POTM January

Barry Shitpeas posted:

I will take a week's probation if Jozy scores the winning goal in the 69th minute of the final, against England

I don't think this is unlikely enough to happen to be a parody of the rubbish posted in here

# ? Jun 11, 2014 10:17

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Probate me for one week if Italy beat England on Saturday.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 11, 2014 15:07

Sanskrit Scat: Aug 11, 2007

If the USA beat either Portugal or Germany ban me swiftly and soundly.

# ? Jun 11, 2014 16:38

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# ? May 8, 2024 15:31

url: Apr 23, 2007; internet gnuru

julian assflange posted:

ban me if England win the World Cup 2014

Same:
Also if Portugal wins.

Perma me if CR doesn't dive

Bovril Delight posted:

Some weak toxxs itt

E:

A month for every CR goal

url fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jun 11, 2014

# ? Jun 11, 2014 18:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > TRP Toxx Thread for Brazil 2014: You'll Never Recover From This

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