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so it started out that i accidentally posted my email address here which has, unfortunately, both my first and last name in it so of course all the yobbers doxed me immediately and i knew everyone was coming to the house to creep on me so i got in my car to go to get a hair cut (instead of a restraining order which didn't occur to me at the time) but godspeed john glenn intercepted me in my driveway. and i remember him being REALLY OLD like shockingly old, and he said yeah all the pics we've seen of his were like 30 years old so i tried not to stare, but drat he was old so i do what any normal person does when she's being doxed and stalked and i asked him if he wanted to go to have a cup of coffee. he said yes, but i decided if i couldn't get my haircut i should at least comb it before we went, so i went in the house leaving him in the front yard but instead of standing there waiting for me by the car he started peering in my windows with my neighbor lady and they were laughing at my furniture because it suddenly had a bunch of holes in it. but as dreams go, i'm not surprised that my furniture is all holey and i realize it's been like that for a long time and it's really embarrassing. so i tell them that i'm planning on getting new furniture. the next thing i know they are barging in the house and they start rearranging things in my house so they can decide the best size furniture to fit in my house so i go to get them a measuring tape and paper bc well, what else do you do in that situation? then i woke up because my dog pulled the covers off and my legs were cold the end |
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Jun 26, 2014 02:39
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| # ? May 24, 2024 02:57 |
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i didnt read it but i bet its awesome 
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Jun 26, 2014 02:40
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i read it, its good
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Jun 26, 2014 02:40
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i kept having the same dream where macho man randy savage calls me at work to yell at me. i pick up the phone and he's all "ohhhh yeahhhhh" |
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Jun 26, 2014 02:41
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i had a dream my so bought a teacup pig sorry not as weird/interesting |
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Jun 26, 2014 02:43
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 Me IRL, judging yo furniture. |
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Jun 26, 2014 02:44
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:
 omg it was real
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Jun 26, 2014 02:47
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You know you're falling into an addiction when you start dreaming about it. |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:06
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Angry Fish posted:You know you're falling into an addiction when you start dreaming about it. Oh no! Fluffie is an old-man-aholic |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:12
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I had a dream where I was cuddling and making out with a girl, and then I woke up in bed with two dudes. |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:13
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Oh no! Fluffie is an old-married-man-aholic |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:14
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:O |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:20
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maybe i just need decorating advice real bad 
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Jun 26, 2014 03:25
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mailorder bees! posted:i kept having the same dream where macho man randy savage calls me at work to yell at me. i pick up the phone and he's all "ohhhh yeahhhhh" This happens to me irl |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:28
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FluffieDuckie posted:maybe i just need decorating advice real bad I am pretty good at decorating. |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:30
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I am pretty good at decorating. did your wife train you well or did it come naturally? cuz my wife tells me that i have great taste but i think she's just saying that out of marital obligation or something who knows? 
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Jun 26, 2014 04:12
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i hope bukowski posts his dream about me in here its probably my favorite thing ive ever heard |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:12
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Angry Fish posted:did your wife train you well or did it come naturally? I, um, went to art school and have always been good with composition.
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Jun 26, 2014 04:13
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I, um, went to art school and have always been good with composition. liar. your wife held a hubby-treat in front of your nose and wouldn't let you get it without drawing gooder than the day before stop lying. |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:13
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Angry Fish posted:liar. What's a hubby-treat? Like, her vagina or something? |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:15
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ok it is time to tell you about my dream now!!! 4 days ago (fr*ckn lowtax) i just woke up from a wonderful dream where yours truly got the opportunity to chill out with the one and only sid vicious!!! the dream started with me and sid and some girls hanging out in this field sitting in camping chairs, the girls wanted to show me this video that they made with sid. the opening shot of the video was some lady talking to her daughter about how she has to be good and do her homework, so she walks into this other room and sits down at a desk. then theres a hole that opens up in the wall and sid is standing outside shoveling cocaine into the hole with a tablespoon. she arranges the coke into like 40 lines on the desk and snorts all of it. the next shot is of this girl and sid wearing sunglasses in the woods, sid bends down and picks something up. it is a cigarette butt. he laughs and lights it, looking at the camera as he does so. i don't remember the rest of the video but the dream continues. the girl says "so what do you think?" and i said "it was good, it reminds me of trainspotting except instead of heroin it's just sid bein' sid" sid and i walk off to go do whatever and theres this big line of kids doing pushups or something, sid asks this one really fat brown boy wearing a sombrero just standing at the end of the line if he has any ideas for a movie, the kid says "go gently caress yourself" we keep walking across this baseball field that wasn't there before until we get to sid's. sids house in the dream has the same approximate appearance and location of this place i went to once in high school to buy weed from a guy called rudy. rudy didn't have any legs so he just sat in a wheelchair tending to his plants and playing playstation 2. we get into sid's house and the first thing that i noticed was all the cans of soup that were still in boxes, obviously bought in bulk. there was even those soup 2 go things that you just microwaved and drank out of. he starts making popcorn, and he clearly has no idea how. he puts kernels into an electric kettle and places the kettle into the microwave for 5 minutes. he takes a cigarette out from a pack on the table (marlboro golds) and we head upstairs to sids room. upstairs we have to step over these boxes of sugar free soda, some brand that doesn't exist in real life. sid's room is blue and he has a skateboard on the wall that says "cali bro '09". there is a shelf above his bed and upon that shelf is a big ziploc bag filled with maybe 3 ounces of mushrooms. sid grabs a big handfull and puts it into this burlap tote bag. i ask "we getting wild tonight man?", he says "nah, i just don't wanna lose them" i can hear the popcorn popping and as soon as i notice it the noise slows down. i tell sid this and go downstairs to check. the first thing i notice is that it's really high up, like 6'8" off the ground. the second thing that i notice is that the time on the microwave reads 11:56, thats fuckin late dude! i pull the kettle out of the microwave and open it, all the kernels have been popped and there's like an inch of water in the bottom. the popcorn doesn't seem to be getting wet though. i just leave it on the counter. back in sid's bedroom, he's playing some monster truck game that has the backstories of the drivers. he laughs at all of them except for one. "this guy, he's the best. he's my favorite monster truck driver" sid says. deciding to liven things up a little, i pick up my phone and call my friend murray trying to buy a half oz of pot. murray knows sid from the swirly video and hangs up on me. the time on my phone says 5:15. then i woke up |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:21
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worth the read. voted 5 |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:23
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sugar free soda?! |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:34
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haha thats pretty much the only part of his dream that couldnt happen |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:34
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Jun 26, 2014 04:34
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| just kidding cool dream | |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:34
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ur dreams are better than mine im jealous, all i ever get are ones where i show up in class naked |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:39
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B26pyWvYuCc |
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Jun 26, 2014 04:45
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| # ? May 24, 2024 02:57 |
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that's great fluffy, I'll furniture shop with you |
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Jun 26, 2014 05:04
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