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  Big day tomorrow in the Hereford FIFA Fan Zone. Two monster games and two poo poo ones, and we're expecting quite the crowd in our great little hamlet to partake in all we have to offer. We've recovered from the massive riot/tire fire that was England's elimination game, and the actual ensuing riot/tire fire. Stickers are being swapped, beers are being drank, and fine women are flashing their chebs.   On to the show. Early matches: USA vs. GER Jurgen's Klansmen take on Hoagie Low's Man-schaft in what has the potential to play out like WC 1982's Germany vs. Austria wonder-match, only with more people of Germanic decent playing in this game. FIFA Fan Fest Keys to the Game. - Superstar Michael Badly, a naturalized Canadian or something, leads the potent US attack from his new position farther up the pitch where he has no idea what to do, as opposed to playing in his normal position where he's maybe a decent footballer. Still no Jozy Altidore for the American Gunners (finished second in CONCACAF qualifying in gun violence, trailing only Mexico), who will instead look to actual goal scorers to score goals. The strategy has paid off for them so far, with only the funniest goal in USA Men's National Team Soccer history keeping them from topping the group. Germany will be looking to bag that all important Miroslav Klose (that's German right?) goal to put him on the top of the score sheet for FIFA World Cup goals in all FIFA World Cups. They will do this by starting him on the bench and letting a front three of two manlets and Thomas "Cool Guy" Mueller bang in misplayed Geoff Cameron crosses. POR vs. GHA Paulo Bento's men are currently the only garbagemen from a European peninsula still working at this point, a great counterpoint to the massive unemployment still rocking said lesser countries of western Europe. They face a feisty Ghana squad without 29 going on 45 Sulley Muntari, who is out on yellow card accumulation. My guess is both teams will pass the ball around a bit, and then Nani will gently caress something up. Ronaldo will stare at Nani and wish his own legs were still functional. Advancement Scenarios: quote:Germany is likely to advance regardless of what it does Thursday against the United States. Germany wins the group with a victory or a tie. It advances with a loss unless it loses its current advantage in goal differential to the winner of the Ghana-Portugal match; Germany’s differential is now +4, compared with -1 for Ghana and -4 for Portugal. Algeria vs. Russia "One PL player, who cares!"  Korea Republic vs. Belgium Belgium had one shot on target for the first 88 minutes of their last match. Korea Republic gave up 4 goals to Algeria. I have no idea how this will play out but it will probably suck. Here's how this dross group can play out: quote:Belgium has clinched advancement and wins the group with a tie or victory against South Korea. I expect this thread to be the one that crashes the newly rebuilt forums, especially once USA goes down 3-0. We will do our best to bring live updates from the Hereford FIFA Fan Zone as the day progresses, but we are expecting technical difficulties. [PLACEHOLDER FOR LINEUPS AS THEY ARE POSTED] Earthy Ape Unit fucked around with this message at 06:15 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 06:00
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I'm still recovering from the shock of switzerland qualifying.
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Jun 26, 2014 06:26
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a mite early
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Jun 26, 2014 06:38
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Akbar posted:a mite early Per FIFA mandate and for the benefit of its brand sponsors, each FIFA Fan Zone must be open by 5:00am local time the day of the match.
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Jun 26, 2014 07:01
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This man's head is still absolutely hilarious to me. Also, thank Christ the forums are back.
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Jun 26, 2014 07:06
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This is the match day where we determine if Russia or Belgium are the more boring team
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Jun 26, 2014 07:07
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GO GO USA! I will be waking up at 8am and be drinking beers soon thereafter. This will be a very stressful World Cup day. GO GO USA!
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Jun 26, 2014 07:08
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Bogan Krkic posted:This is the match day where we determine if Russia or Belgium are the more boring team I fully expect to black out during that match and experience Schrodinger's World Cup until I wake up and find out it was a dire 0-0 draw. Thanks Capello.
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Jun 26, 2014 07:10
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looking forward to world war 3: the soccer game
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Jun 26, 2014 07:11
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It's coming home boys
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Jun 26, 2014 07:11
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vyelkin posted:I fully expect to black out during that match and experience Schrodinger's World Cup until I wake up and find out it was a dire 0-0 draw. Thanks Capello. Russia and Belge already played mate, now we're seeing if either of them want to score goals against the other poo poo team they've yet to play
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Jun 26, 2014 07:12
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Bogan Krkic posted:Russia and Belge already played mate, now we're seeing if either of them want to score goals against the other poo poo team they've yet to play poo poo, you're right. My brain was trying to spare me the pain of remembering that match ever happened.
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Jun 26, 2014 07:12
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Ghana and Germany to win please footballing gods
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Jun 26, 2014 07:21
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Germany and Ghana will advance and then this, but the US and my dog. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbISE9IM5Sk
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Jun 26, 2014 08:12
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also your gimmick is dumb and annoying op, and i hate you for making this thread 10 hours early just to make sure you got in first so we all have to see it. this is supposed to be about america for chrissake. AMERICA
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Jun 26, 2014 08:16
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I hope the US and Portugal have to draw lots in a shady FIFA office. The tears from the US would be soooo tasty (although they would probably win the lot draw because US is a bigger market) Also: best reference graphic I have seen so far 
GaussianCopula fucked around with this message at 09:12 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 09:04
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Are the SAS in Hereford watching this
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Jun 26, 2014 09:13
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Still can't get over how poo poo group H is. I hope Algeria does a thing again, that's about all the hope I can muster. Little nervous about the earlier game but I mean honestly, it's the US. What could possibly go wrong? (Someone post terStegen.gif from the friendly last year, for old time's sake)
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Jun 26, 2014 09:24
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Futbol is great you guys
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Jun 26, 2014 09:27
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The Euros havequote:7, position in the Uefa national team coefficient ranking system; before drawing of lots. FIFA knows that the FIFA ranking is useless and the referees corrupt so they skip that part.
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Jun 26, 2014 09:31
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I look forward to the USMNT getting wrecked by Germany. I know I said that about Portugal but Germany are actually not a terrible team so it could happen! Er kommt Heimat!
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Jun 26, 2014 09:40
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There's a pretty decent chance today's game will net Algeria a rematch against Germany. They will obviously end up losing but if by some freak accident they knock Germany out that'll be a match for the ages.
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Jun 26, 2014 09:54
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Both teams are obviously gonna play for a draw. It's gonna be a poo poo match.
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Jun 26, 2014 10:02
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emanresu tnuocca posted:Both teams are obviously gonna play for a draw. It's gonna be a poo poo match. Germany has nothing to lose by utterly crushing the US.
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Jun 26, 2014 10:18
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They also have very little to gain. Tommy Muller would probably want to increase his goal tally but they're not going to play too offensively.
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Jun 26, 2014 10:22
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I've got my hulk hogan meat shoes and I'm ready to rock
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Jun 26, 2014 10:27
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emanresu tnuocca posted:They also have very little to gain. Tommy Muller would probably want to increase his goal tally but they're not going to play too offensively. Playing for the draw is dangerous though. Italy tried it and it didn't work, whereas if their attack had had more bite from the first minute they would probably be through. Of course, Germany is not as vulnerable as Italy, but the point still stands. I hope they go for it because they know they're way better than the US.
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Jun 26, 2014 10:55
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emanresu tnuocca posted:They also have very little to gain. Tommy Muller would probably want to increase his goal tally but they're not going to play too offensively. Miroslav Klose could beat (fat) Ronaldo's goal scoring record.
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Jun 26, 2014 10:59
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croutonZA posted:Also, thank Christ the forums are back. I might be able to enjoy the football again
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Jun 26, 2014 11:09
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I want USA to win for the laffs and also all MLS posters to be probated for the duration of the game
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Jun 26, 2014 11:18
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I hope that Germany and Ghana both win their respective matches with high enough margins so that they both proceede into the knockout stages.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:32
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ephex posted:I hope that Germany and Ghana both win their respective matches with high enough margins so that they both proceede into the knockout stages. same This will also make the American shitposting here finally stop.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:37
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Dunban posted:same I doubt that.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:39
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gently caress Germany forever but they will advance and I'm undecided on the USA, on the one hand I want the USA's dreams to get crushed so I may drink the tears of all the fans, and the USA has no real place in the sport. On the other hand I want the plucky Americans to win because they're my third choice after Belgium and Holland, paradoxically.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:39
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I hope Klose scores at least 3 goals, because he is cool and good.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:41
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ephex posted:I hope that Germany and Ghana both win their respective matches with high enough margins so that they both proceede into the knockout stages. I want this as well but that chart that was posted in the Germany thread made me realize there's a way to get this group down to drawing of lots, but the only way to get the US to go out on drawing of lots is if Portugal go through instead of Ghana. But I want the US to go out by drawing of lots. I want it so bad.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:42
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So USA and Ghana need to win 3-0 or better for this to be the best world cup? Come on World Cup miracles.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:43
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ephex posted:I doubt that. Well, they're gonna keep at it for a day or two, but then they'll lose interest and go back to their own lovely sports.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:46
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If Germany tries at all the USA had better hope Portugal remembers how to play football.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:49
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KPB and Muntari have been sent home from the world cup
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