Not Nipsy Russell posted:

Poors's Guide to Cat Ownership:

1. buy cat food.
2. Put cat food out in bowl on porch. It's best to locate the bowl on the side of the porch-recliner opposite the coffee can full of water and cigarette butts.

You now own cat!

Bonus, if your neighbor has a garden, no litterbox is needed!

(Ask me about my white trash neighbors, and "their" unfixed male ginger named Boss that constantly fights other cats, raccoons, and people. His head looks like he's been sticking it in a blender, he's probably blind in one eye. Got both nuts, though!)