FRUIT SALAD PRICES

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > FRUIT SALAD PRICES

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vapoursquid: none other

lol cruft your local area sucks

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:47

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# ? May 16, 2024 22:47

Afro Doug

similar to mint, cilantro goes well with frsh fruit but in moderation

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:48

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

cruft posted:

FLUFFSTRIX I NEED YOUR EXPERTISE

sexism

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:55

alnilam

cruft posted:

just got this:

So it is happening. I bought an account cert and got a receipt in my email, where's the cert supposed to show up?

Wait I'm confused what is with this secondhand relay of info and something about a teacher and "he'll do it" :confused:

# ? Jul 25, 2014 02:59

posting smiling

alnilam posted:

Wait I'm confused what is with this secondhand relay of info and something about a teacher and "he'll do it"

teens need an adult to supervise them online.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:03

I Dunno

cruft posted:

just got this:

So it is happening. I bought an account cert and got a receipt in my email, where's the cert supposed to show up?

did you trick him into thinking this was a school project or something??

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:19

cruft

It's a small town. His friend happened to be in my cybersecurity summer school class, and when I asked if anybody knew the author of the article, this kid in the back goes "yeah, is this about the $20 fruit salad?"

That's when I knew it had to be.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:36

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Now I want to try the delights of a $20 fruit salad

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:40

cruft

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Now I want to try the delights of a $20 fruit salad

Right?

Well, the cert is sent, and fruit salad guy should be posting all the details ITT on Tuesday.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:42

alnilam

A byob success story in the making

# ? Jul 25, 2014 03:46

cruft

I don't have any updates I just wanted to use this emote.

:ducksiren:

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:44

Smofoable

Hello there. I am the boy who sent the "Fruit Salad letter" to the editor of my local newspaper. I'm here to introduce myself properly. It is my life's work to expose the injustices of the fruit world, and my recent adventure regarding a pricey fruit salad has sparked a revolution in the making. Some say I'm a troll, others have called me a woman. I am in fact the bearer of male genitalia, and this will be my finest hour. Any fruit salad/fruit inquiries you have I will answer. And if you wish to support the cause you can go to http://www.fruitsaladyummyyummy.net (don't go there, it isn't my actual official area of work). If we unite as Americans, the fruit salad debacle may actually come to an end.

Smofoable fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Jul 25, 2014

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:56

Afro Doug

Smofoable posted:

Hello there. I am Reagan, the boy who sent the "Fruit Salad letter" to the L.A. Daily Post today. I'm here to introduce myself properly. It is my life's work to expose the injustices of the fruit world, and my recent adventure regarding a pricey fruit salad has sparked a revolution in the making. Some say I'm a troll, others have called me a woman. I am in fact the bearer of male genitalia, and this will be my finest hour. Any fruit salad/fruit inquiries you have I will answer. And if you wish to support the cause you can go to http://www.fruitsaladyummyyummy.net (don't go there, it isn't my official area of work). If we unite as Americans, the fruit salad debacle may actually come to an end.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 04:57

thewizardofshoe

Smofoable posted:

Hello there. I am Reagan, the boy who sent the "Fruit Salad letter" to the L.A. Daily Post today. I'm here to introduce myself properly. It is my life's work to expose the injustices of the fruit world, and my recent adventure regarding a pricey fruit salad has sparked a revolution in the making. Some say I'm a troll, others have called me a woman. I am in fact the bearer of male genitalia, and this will be my finest hour. Any fruit salad/fruit inquiries you have I will answer. And if you wish to support the cause you can go to http://www.fruitsaladyummyyummy.net (don't go there, it isn't my official area of work). If we unite as Americans, the fruit salad debacle may actually come to an end.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:01

dogcrash truther

cruft posted:

I mean he trolled the entire town with a joke letter. People are still flaming each other about it on Facebook. Seems like BYOB material to me

Post the Facebook flames

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:02

cruft

Smofoable posted:

Hello there. I am Reagan, the boy who sent the "Fruit Salad letter" to the L.A. Daily Post today. I'm here to introduce myself properly. It is my life's work to expose the injustices of the fruit world, and my recent adventure regarding a pricey fruit salad has sparked a revolution in the making. Some say I'm a troll, others have called me a woman. I am in fact the bearer of male genitalia, and this will be my finest hour. Any fruit salad/fruit inquiries you have I will answer. And if you wish to support the cause you can go to http://www.fruitsaladyummyyummy.net (don't go there, it isn't my actual official area of work). If we unite as Americans, the fruit salad debacle may actually come to an end.

HOLY POOP ON A STICK HE'S HERE :ducksiren:

Hi man. Are you aware that you have successfully trolled our entire town? You even got a 5th grade teacher to make a big serious post about your grammar.

That letter was a work of art and you have my praise. :patriot:

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:06

cruft

dogcrash truther posted:

Post the Facebook flames

This is a good idea, hang on.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:06

cruft

But while I'm getting my wife to make screenshots of facebook, could you describe this fruit salad for us? Was it, like, gigantic? A single serving salad? Did it come with hand-shelled pomegranite seeds on it or something?

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:07

Gross Dude: Gross Dude

I do not understand why a town would react to the fruit salad post?

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:08

i am he

Gross Dude posted:

I do not understand why a town would react to the fruit salad post?

its probably like one of those cult towns, and everyone worships the fruit salad because its huge

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:08

Smofoable

cruft posted:

HOLY POOP ON A STICK HE'S HERE

Hi man. Are you aware that you have successfully trolled our entire town? You even got a 5th grade teacher to make a big serious post about your grammar.

That letter was a work of art and you have my praise.

My pleasure, but I regret to inform you that while part of me was in fact trolling the post, this entire issue was as real as Rufio. Btw, my grammar is superb. I don't know what she's talking about.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:09

pig slut lisa: irl is good

do u mean the pretend boy from hook?

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:11

cruft

Gross Dude posted:

I do not understand why a town would react to the fruit salad post?

It's a small town and it took us 8 years of hard-faught political battles to move the only grocery store in town across the street to a larger space. I was part of the group fighting to move them over. It really did take 8 years. It only took 7 months to build though.

So when they finally did move, the whole town erupted in insane drama about whether or not this would be the end of local business and how screwed we were now or how great it was that you could now buy teflon-coated spatulas without having to drive 90 miles or whatever.

And this fruit salad thing just totally smacked the zeitgeist right in the kisser and got everybody to go insane about a letter about fruit salad.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:11

Smofoable

cruft posted:

But while I'm getting my wife to make screenshots of facebook, could you describe this fruit salad for us? Was it, like, gigantic? A single serving salad? Did it come with hand-shelled pomegranite seeds on it or something?

Let me tell you, this fruit salad was the stuff of legend. It looked like the most delicious fruit salad the Gods could bestow upon me. Surprisingly, though, it was rather small. It was a decent-sized melon with about four-five servings of fruity goodness inside of it. There were apples, blueberries, strawberries, peaches, grapes and I believe kiwis. It was by no means a poor man's fruit salad, but the pricing of the item left a lot to be desired. If it had been a little larger, maybe the twenty dollars and forty cents could've been worth it.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:13

cruft

Smofoable posted:

http://www.fruitsaladyummyyummy.net

fruit's a lady, um, my yummy dot net

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:13

pig slut lisa: irl is good

cruft posted:

fruit's a lady umm yyummy dot net

fruit's a lady, lmbo

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:14

Smofoable

pig slut lisa posted:

do u mean the pretend boy from hook?

Yes. Yes I do. But he's real. Haven't you read Homestuck?

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:15

I Dunno

i don't get why ppl are so mad about a fruit salad letter. what is there even to argue about?

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:15

dogcrash truther

Smofoable posted:

Let me tell you, this fruit salad was the stuff of legend. It looked like the most delicious fruit salad the Gods could bestow upon me. Surprisingly, though, it was rather small. It was a decent-sized melon with about four-five servings of fruity goodness inside of it. There were apples, blueberries, strawberries, peaches, grapes and I believe kiwis. It was by no means a poor man's fruit salad, but the pricing of the item left a lot to be desired. If it had been a little larger, maybe the twenty dollars and forty cents could've been worth it.

Did you ask about the price? Maybe it was priced wrong. People aren't perfect after all and there are a lot of prices in a grocery store. One of them is bound to be wrong.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:15

dogcrash truther

I Dunno posted:

i don't get why ppl are so mad about a fruit salad letter. what is there even to argue about?

The fruit salad represents all that is wrong with allowing the grocery store to move across the street

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:16

cruft

dogcrash truther posted:

Did you ask about the price? Maybe it was priced wrong. People aren't perfect after all and there are a lot of prices in a grocery store. One of them is bound to be wrong.

My guess is he was so concerned for the small business climate that this scared him straight out of the store.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:16

cruft

dogcrash truther posted:

The fruit salad represents all that is wrong with allowing the grocery store to move across the street

BINGO

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:17

dogcrash truther

Now that the store is bigger, it thinks it can push the townspeople around and make them buy overpriced fruit salads.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:18

Smofoable

dogcrash truther posted:

Did you ask about the price? Maybe it was priced wrong. People aren't perfect after all and there are a lot of prices in a grocery store. One of them is bound to be wrong.

That may well have been case. But as you know, I'm not one to kid around about fruit salad matters. Seeing that price was a large shock to me and my companions, and in my rage I totally forgot about that possibility.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:18

thewizardofshoe

dogcrash truther posted:

Did you ask about the price? Maybe it was priced wrong. People aren't perfect after all and there are a lot of prices in a grocery store. One of them is bound to be wrong.

This is true. I once found a Blu-Ray of A Very Harold and Kumar 3d Christmas at Fry's marked for $43.99.

Turns out it was actually 13 bucks.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:19

i am he

dogcrash truther posted:

Now that the store is bigger, it thinks it can push the townspeople around and make them buy overpriced fruit salads.

Seems like they could scale up the size of the fruit salads along with the store, to me.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:20

i am he

Bigger store? more room for bigger fruit salads

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:20

vapoursquid: none other

where the gently caress are politics about where the loving grocery stores go thats not a political issue

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:20

posting smiling

this kid is off to a strong start. but will he be able to post about the other topics byob likes besides fruit salads? this poster thinks he has a strong chance.

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:22

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# ? May 16, 2024 22:47

dogcrash truther

Larger store means more overhead. They actually need to reduce the size of the salads, but make them seem bigger with mirrors

# ? Jul 25, 2014 05:22

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > FRUIT SALAD PRICES

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