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me: hey, i'm going out of town this weekend. i know you usually go out in the evenings and don't come home until morning when you tend to burn your clothes in the kitchen sink then take a long shower while crying loudly, but if you could just leave the light on when you go so it looks like someone's home. i don't want a robber to get any ideas. |
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Jul 28, 2014 18:09
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| # ? May 8, 2024 13:46 |
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*Voiceover* Who will this rag tag group of psychotic murder machines knock off next? Interview footage with the regular guy: I hope it's not me. But I really feel like it's going to be me.. *cuts to a shot of one of the psycho killers stabbing someone to death, victims face obscured* *cuts to close up shot of regular guy screaming with what looks like blood on his face* "agggghhghhhh!" *Voiceover* Tune in next week to find out! So i tune in, but it was just one of those editing tricks so they made it look like the insane murderer killed the regular guy. but really, the guy just got red shampoo in his eye when he was taking a shower, and the killer was killing some other guy. |
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Jul 28, 2014 18:13
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me: whatre you making him: pancakes me: but.. but.. we don't have a skillet.. 
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Jul 28, 2014 19:46
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precision posted:me: whatre you making was that maniac making pancakes in a pot?? |
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Jul 28, 2014 19:52
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Pedantra posted:psycho: its actually better not to wash denim at all if possible, it should stay reasonably clean and washing wears it out psycho: dont wash your clothes just put them in the freezer when they start to smell! also stop using shampoo |
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Jul 28, 2014 21:26
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psycho 1: i just killed a guy. psycho 2: me too, i love to kill people. it makes me feel alive. psycho 3: killing good. psycho 4: same, i also think pawn stars is good, and very organic. me: these guys are crazy! they belong in a home! help! help! |
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Jul 28, 2014 21:39
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two and a half men except it's not a kid it's literally part of a man that's been cut in half |
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Jul 28, 2014 22:24
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Jett posted:two and a half men except it's not a kid it's literally part of a man that's been cut in half charlie sheen: you'll never get woman like that if you dont leave the house. lets go to the bar and pick up chicks. half man: i dont have any legs, im bleeding out, ic ant leave. im a half man. kid:  *laugh track* |
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Jul 28, 2014 22:33
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Psycho: I like to cut our their eyes first. Me: Cool. Psycho: And then I play with their blood while they die slowly. Me: Yeah. Psycho: And then I eat them raw. Me: Whatever. Psycho: Also dude, King of Queens is a really funny show. You should check it out, you can borrow my box set. Me: I....have to go 
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Jul 28, 2014 22:36
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psycho: i dont use my turn signal because if it was me back there id speed up to fill the gap |
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Jul 28, 2014 22:38
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:qu'est-ce que c'est? OH LIKE THE TALKING HEADS SONG!! I was just working and your odd response had been turning over in my head all day and suddenly I remembered that song so I rushed right to the forums. |
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Jul 28, 2014 22:40
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fingers in the sink... blood tracked in all over the carpet.... toilet clogged with some guyys whole corpse... they're like animals... |
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Jul 28, 2014 22:51
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hey man can you spot me my part of the rent for this month? The guy I killed in the alley earlier didn't have much cash on him you mean… lend you money?
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Jul 28, 2014 22:56
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psycho: i think the toronto blue jays are going to make the playoffs this year me: .... psycho: i also think that the leafs could finally win the stanley cup me: help
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Jul 28, 2014 23:01
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*glances through crack in door* guy practicing throwing knives at heads cut out of magazines *next room* sexy lady blindfolded taking apart her pistol really fast *another* buff killer with lots of tattoos lifting weights while listening to duran duran's "ordinary world" (think to myself) just another day in with this crazy group a killers |
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Jul 29, 2014 03:51
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Jett posted:hey man can you spot me my part of the rent for this month? The guy I killed in the alley earlier didn't have much cash on him lmao |
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Jul 29, 2014 04:49
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My favorite part is when its revealed that the speaker is filled with anxiety by the small, uncomfortable things the crazed killers are doing (sometimes quite innocuous but you can relate to the shock of the 'narrator' at least in some way) instead of the murders that you would expect at a surface glance. Good misdirection. Comedy. |
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Jul 29, 2014 07:18
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psycho: lets go to the bar i just robbed a bank so drinks are on me me: sorry i dont drink |
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Jul 29, 2014 07:23
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I walk past my flatmate's room, he is running on his treadmill and staring intently at the silence of the lambs poster on the wall in front of him I shake my head and walk on. just another day |
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Jul 29, 2014 12:51
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| # ? May 8, 2024 13:46 |
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crazy person: (sitting on the front step waiting for ride to arrive) *pours beer into a beer glass instead of drinking from the can* ride: (arriving) "what the hell are you doing how is that even a thing a person does auuuughhh" *speeds away at full throttle, screaming* plot twist: I'm the crazy person 
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Jul 29, 2014 12:58
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