UKMT August '14 - BoJo's Brilliant Buran Bazaar

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT August '14 - BoJo's Brilliant Buran Bazaar

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Some people have such a pathological hatred of London. Comes up everything any sort of investment project is mentioned.
Get tied in in contradictory nonsense opposing both improvements to central London and designs to relieve pressure on it.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2014 08:21

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 22:55

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

police done good for once

quote:

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/02/millionaire-city-executive-dodged-43000-rail-fares-unmasked
A millionaire City executive who dodged �43,000 in train fares and hoped to avoid prosecution has been unmasked.

Jonathan Burrows, 44, tried to keep his anonymity by reimbursing Southeastern railways within three days of being caught. His identity has been revealed, however, after an investigation by British Transport police that was triggered after the story first broke in April.

The investment executive is thought to be Britain's biggest fare dodger, after repeatedly exploiting a loophole in the Oyster card system on his daily commute to London.

His commute from his East Sussex home should have cost him �21.50, but Burrows, who earns up to �1m and owns two country mansions worth �4m, managed to pay just �7.20 over a period of five years.

When he was eventually caught in November, he told Southeastern he wanted his name kept secret because of the impact the scandal could have on his job, according to the Daily Mail.

But when British Transport police found out that Southeastern had let Burrows off quietly it launched a criminal investigation, which is ongoing.

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) also investigated Burrows over concerns that he could be unsuitable for working in the City. Last week he was forced to tell his managers at BlackRock that the regulator was investigating. He was suspended immediately from his job and eventually resigned.

Jonathan Mullen, a spokesman for BlackRock, said: "Jonathan Burrows has left BlackRock. What he is alleged to have done is totally contrary to our values and principles."

An FCA spokesman said that their investigation had been dropped following Burrows's resignation, but added that past misconduct is taken into consideration when people apply for fresh authorisation. It said: "That doesn't have to be a criminal record. It can be anything that calls into question someone's fitness and propriety to work in the industry."

Burrows could not be contacted for comment. Asked about the case by the Mail, he reportedly said: "Dunno what you're talking about."

# ¿ Aug 3, 2014 10:39

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

freebooter posted:

Is getting paid monthly a typical thing here? This is my first job in the UK but also my first job that's salary rather than wages. It seems ludicrous to me. It's 2014, it's not like you need to handcuff a briefcase to the bursar's wrist and send him down to the bank on Friday afternoon.

on salaried positions yes. you'll never get paid weekly for those.

it'd cost more in bank fees and man hours in payroll to do weekly payments. and the occaisional awkward situation like yours aside no staff really need more frequent payments.

take your new contract & acceptance letter into your bank and they'll likely extend your authorised overdraft facilty. a few pennies in interest will work out a lot cheaper than foreign transfer fees from your Dad's money. and definitely don't get a payday loan.

if this is your first job here didn't they offer you a lump sum for relocation expenses? or is that coming with your pay 2 months late?

# ¿ Aug 4, 2014 11:56

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

freebooter posted:

Isn't overdraft for small amounts? Even aside from 4 weeks of living expenses I also just moved into a new place and owe about 1000 pounds in bond and August's rent, so it's going to be a fair bit of money.

A few grand isn't at all unusual. Obviously you shouldn't be regularly utilising this facility but it's useful to just in case for these sort of situations.

If HR aren't helping with an advance, ask your new line manager to speak to them. They're more likely to care about forming a good relationship. And like Zephro says they actually want you to not starve.

Also congrats on the cheap flat.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2014 13:57

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

The Tories must be pretty scared of Milliband to go on the attack over this pathetic wreath storm in a tea cup.
A good sign for May

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 08:34

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Zephro posted:

Presumably this only works for certain crimes. I can't pay $1m to be let off for murder, can I?

the prosecution don't have to accept your offer. you can't make them.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 14:44

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

london's pretty cool i have 3 nandos within <10 mins of my flat

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 23:02

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

you can't get unlimited coke zero refills with that. must be awful.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 23:11

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Serotonin posted:

London is fun if you are a tourist or rich. If I wanted to live in a theme park however I would chose Legoland.

you want to live in Windsor of all places? posh as all hell.

luckily Legoland is only a short trip by train from London so you can visit easy enough

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 11:14

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Aliginge posted:

want to check out Brighton at some point but it's loving miles away.

it'd only be an hour on the train if you lived in London :toot:

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 11:50

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

Well you could commute, Paris is only two hours away on the train from London

shame about the pointless waste of time & money of the passport checks

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 12:24

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

KKKlean Energy posted:

You can't just say something is an "hour from london" because once you get to london it could take up to an hour more just to get to your place of residence or work

brighton train'll drop you at croydon, clapham, victoria, london bridge or blackfriars.
you're probably not got another hour travel to be honest.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 13:30

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Spuckuk posted:

Brighton is awesome, but as expensive as London.

Also enjoy �5500 a year just for commuting into London on one of the most overcrowded trains you'll have the displeasure of standing up in.

brighton came up because Aliginge wanted to visit. nobody was talking about living there and commuting to London

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 14:36

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

ultrabindu posted:

I believe a seat is available the ward of Uxbridge and South Ruislip after Conservative MP Sir John Randall announced he will be stepping down and in neighbouring Hertsmere, Conservative MP James Clappison has also said he will be leaving Westminster. Both are really safe Tory seats mind.
Also worth noting constituents in both campaigned against Heathrow expansion, something BoJo himself opposed whilst running for his second term. Not sure if it was a campaign pledge. The independent report into aviation capacity is rumored to favour Heathrow. Although I don't think the final report is due back before the election.

Uxbridge is an odd one for Johnson.
They're very anti-heathrow expansion because they're right under the flight paths. But also a lot of people are employed at the airport or in related business so Johnson's pie-in-the-sky about demolishing heathrow is just about as unpopular as a third runway.

And yeah, the report's not due till after May cos everyone's too scared to touch it.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 16:59

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Fingerless Gloves posted:

Isn't the magma pasty/tepid block of filling the fault of the pasty tax a few years ago, meaning Greggs can't reheat their poo poo without adding another 20p on to a steak bake? loving tories ruining everything.

no

thanks to the well organised campaign of Greggs & other high st chains Osbourne's proposed VAT change was dropped and the status quo remained. your pasties / toasties remain taxed just as they were under Labour and the Tories before them (15 / 17.5 / 20 rate changes aside)

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 11:53

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

i know you've all be thinking lately "that farage hasn't been in the news nearly enough, what is this media blackout?"
well fret no more, like boris johnson this week his general election ambitions are gearing up.

http://www.newstatesman.com/print/node/207816

quote:

The Ukip leader finally makes his choice.

by George Eaton [2] Published 8 August, 2014 - 15:48

Nigel Farage has long made it clear that he intends to stand for parliament next year, while so far refusing to say where. But the FT has the news [3] that the Ukip leader is on the candidate selection list for Tory-held South Thanet. Ahead of a hustings meeting on 26 August, the local party secretary tells the paper: "It is the worst-kept secret in town. We now have two names on the list and one of them is Mr Farage. Whether he will get selected or not is another matter . . . although I�d be surprised if he doesn�t."

Farage's choice doesn't come as a surprise. The constituency lies in his native Kent (where he pledged to stand) and a recent Lord Ashcroft poll put Ukip in first place. In the May local elections, the party won seven out of eight seats on the county council, leaving the Tories without a single representative.

The Ukip leader finished fourth when he stood in the seat in 2005, and only managed third place when he ran in John Bercow's Buckingham constituency in 2010, but he has good reason to believe he can improve on both of those performances this time round.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 16:18

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

how many times can journalists recycle the same "downing st twitter follows something ridiculous because they had a stupid auto follow back set up years ago" story. i've seen it at least 3 times in the last year.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 16:43

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

ReV VAdAUL posted:

Perhaps No 10 should've taken one of these multiple opportunities to stop the official twitter account of the Prime minister following such ridiculous things?

if you read the article you'd see the spokesperson saying that they are clearing it out as they see them.

but there's loving thousands of them. it's hardly a reasonable use of time to have someone sitting and going through the list. it's causing no harm anyway since nobody will ever look at the account's timeline.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 19:47

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

no wages but there's still an opportunity cost

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 21:33

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Jedit posted:

This should be popular, the people of Britain love licking Thatcher's backside.

stamps have been self adhesive for two decades now grandad

# ¿ Aug 12, 2014 11:59

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Jedit posted:

loving Tories, not content with selling off the Mail they have to ruin perfectly good jokes as well.

was it really good in the first place

# ¿ Aug 12, 2014 13:49

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

Venmoch posted:

Thats not really a good reason. You became an MP. MP's usually work in London. At what point did he think this through?

Its also galling because my dad was in the Navy and growing up he'd be gone Monday to Friday and, in some cases would be away from home for up to eight months.

We live in the age of Skype and mobile communications. What's wrong with going down early monday morning and back on friday evening and just skyping the family for the day's he's in London?

don't want to single you out in particular, but it's amazing how many people have just accepted the premise that a family of 5 can't live in London on their considerable means.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2014 13:52

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

people who capitalise "MET" - what do you think this is an acronym for?

Whitefish posted:

Someone actually predicted that earlier in the thread. I think Cliff Richard was trying to excuse the actions of someone else (Rolf Harris?).

it's the worst kept secret in showbiz that cliff is gay (with consenting adults), and his career started back when that was generally regarded as worse than paedophilia. so he's unsurprisingly been a bit cagey about accusations from the past & people having skeletons in their closet.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2014 16:23

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

freebooter posted:

I earn 20,000 a year. I'm not Warren Buffet. But I can absolutely afford to spend more than $0 on my healthcare, and in fairness, I should. As others have pointed out, I do

well glad that's cleared up then

ps gently caress whoever pointed out the cheaper availability of flucloxacillin on the last page. i had to take that a few months back and now resent the price of not-quite-one-pint wasted.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2014 19:24

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

"we apologise for the wording" ie not the content.
standard non-apology

# ¿ Aug 22, 2014 16:24

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

same way they've got all their lords. defections from the tories.
and remember they've had 1 MP before in the brief time Bob Spink defected to them before he was forced to be an independant. then decidedly not re-elected.

the one and only election for Carswell's constituency doesn't look like he'll be in a job after ~~May~~ the by-election
Party Candidate Votes % �% Conservative Douglas Carswell 22,867 53.0 +8.6 Labour Ivan Henderson 10,799 25.0 −10.9 Liberal Democrat Michael Green 5,577 12.9 −0.6 BNP Jim Taylor 1,975 4.6 N/A Tendring First Terry Allen 1,078 2.5 N/A Green Chris Southall 535 1.2 N/A Independent Chris Humphrey 292 0.7 N/A Majority 12,068 28.0 Turnout 43,123 64.2 +1.6

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 11:30

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

tdrules posted:

It's certainly opportunistic, but there's no harm in acknowledging how many people want to come here to do a terror on us.

It's a silly metric though, the only people who need to know about terrorist threats are those who can do something about it.

When IS talk about establishing their caliphate, they've never mentioned western europe

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 20:18

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

namesake posted:

I cannot loving believe that there's a hoover buying panic going on because of consumer item regulation changes.

i don't think there was until businesses with hoovers to sell whipped up a media storm about it. never let a chance pass to make a quick buck.

lesson i suppose is don't this sort of thing into effect during the silly season.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2014 23:11

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 22:55

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

ReV VAdAUL posted:

Scottish Nationalist posters declared their independence from the UK thread, they created a place where they could focus on Scottish issues and set their own agenda. Sadly that independence attempt failed, indeed several Nationalist posters, including yourself, admitted it has turned to poo poo, and now you are desperately trying to reintegrate Scottish nationalist issues into the functioning UK thread.

Alas, bold moves for independence can't easily be reverted. Posts about Scottish independence no longer belong here.

this thread is not functional

# ¿ Aug 31, 2014 23:18

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