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Drone
Aug 22, 2003

Incredible machine
:smug:


Ibblebibble posted:

Most likely Muslim Malays, there's still conflict in the Pattani region on their persecution.
Also historically Malaya was more of a tin source for the British rather than gold, but I guess Victoria just doesn't model tin.

I'm pretty sure the Pop Demand Mod does (I know for sure it does copper and I'm reasonably sure tin, too). But it's kind of a bad mod.

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theblastizard
Nov 5, 2009
I liked PDM before I realized everything I liked about it was actually in NNM.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

RabidWeasel posted:

What's the cultural makeup of that remaining southern part of Siam? I'm not really familiar with this region in the Victoria period other than "the Dutch are assholes".

Quite a few Malays, but Pattani etc. is grouped as part of Bangkok state, and I can't take it without annexing Siam, and I can't do that unless they're two states or less.

Mightypeon
Oct 10, 2013

Putin apologist- assume all uncited claims are from Russia Today or directly from FSB.

key phrases: Poor plucky little Russia, Spheres of influence, The West is Worse, they was asking for it.
To how few states are they down now?
Did GB use a free people CB for Siamese Cambodia yet? They like doing that whenever I play Siam...

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

Mightypeon posted:

To how few states are they down now?
Did GB use a free people CB for Siamese Cambodia yet? They like doing that whenever I play Siam...

Three at this point. Uk sphered them though.

Another update has been played. It's an absurdly long time period (18 years) but little happened for the first decade of it. I may have to break it in two.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
Johore Chapter II: The Long Peace and the Long War (1843-1861)

Singapore's a lovely city, Governor. Thank you for welcoming us into this lovely territory that we are leasing long-term to Her Majesty's Government, I am glad that it is prospering under your administration. You never used to take interest in hearing the government of Johore's take on policy, in fact it's been nearly 20 years since representatives of our Sultanate have been welcomed in this court. I am glad to see that we rise in your esteem.




Yes, last time we talked, Johore was still the laughing stock of the world, the place where farmers grew gold and bankers starved. It's amazing that even though there wasn't a crumb of bread to be found for any sum of money.





The imperial powers continued their expansion as they have to this day.



Siam plotted vengeance for the loss of their territories by allying Dai Viet, and our army did not recover from the losses in the war, so we lived in fear in our solid gold huts.



The people demanded a harsher hand.




I hear that's not an uncommon attitude these days.





Of course, that's not to say that Europeans are the world's only aggressors.



And that's also not to say I'm not jealous of your education system. After all this time and barely 1 in 8 of our people can read.



We could do without the religious disputes, though.




At least in the Islamic world tend to resolve quickly. You don't have that luck in Europe, I've heard.



Yes, around that time we began the agonizingly slow process of rebuilding our military.




It would have moved much faster if you had just sold us some wool.



Apparently "the best medicine money can buy" is no medicine at all.




The Dutch finally renounced their claims to Belgium, meaning that they were freed up to pursue claims in this neighborhood. Everyone in Johore lived in terror of the coming of the Dutch.



News of wild events in Japan did little but confuse people.



However, savvy diplomacy and vast quantities of useless gold persuaded the Dutch to go after other targets. As you recall, this was a mixed blessing for us, because those other targets were our prey. Until our army rebuilt, there was no way we could win an offensive war against them, and this gave the Dutch a total free hand to do as they pleased.



Why do people wish to abolish life imprisonment?





Yes, our forts aren't terribly impressive by your standards, but they do exist now, and the extra few months it would take the Dutch to siege them is another major strategic advantage: the annoyance factor.





I admire the USCA: they truly have the spirit of the weak hanger-on taking food from the large beast's feast.




We are faster pupils than people in London or Amsterdam give us credit for.



Not quick enough to avoid the flu, though.



Ah, yes, the Ethiopian "Empire" and its glorious invasions of Egypt. Who can forget?



Has it ever occurred to you that Bali's old flag was just the Dutch flag twice over? Maybe they had already realized their fate and were already standardizing their insignia.



It's not like that could have happened any other way. Our dream of uniting the Malays seemed to be slipping away.






It must have been rough to be in the Arab world at that time, as well. Europe's noose closed everywhere. Even Belgium, the least of the European states, seemed to be greeted as a greater power than mighty China.



However, Asia was slowly awakening.



Are there really people that want the entire world to run on gold? Why do they not rule your lands, we could be the most powerful land on Earth by those rules!



Mighty China did not take long in putting down the...late disturbance, though.



A mere three months was all. I heard that the blood in Nanjing ran so deep that the British envoy had to wear wading boots. Wait, that's apocryphal?



You people of Singapore, and by extension your masters in London, harbor no sympathy with the Dutch, I know, so you'll appreciate our predicament. Even if we somehow beat off the initial wave of the Dutch, the Spanish army in Manila would finish us off. That is why we've been currying favor with the Dutch these long years.




Sometimes it feels like the Dar al-Islam is under siege from every side.



Walls are nice in a siege.



It isn't often that a colony escapes from European (or American) grasp.



At least the Commander of the Faithful was reclaiming his land...for now.



The long peace began to end around the time the balance of power on your home continent was overthrown by the Prussians.



Suddenly, a massive power rivaling that of Britain, France, and Russia appeared in the heart of the continent.



Proclaiming oneself Emperor even became a popular custom.



The Dutch also proclaimed Java the best colony in the world. Perhaps you've never had the misfortune to listen to people from Java, but their stories tell me that Java is anything but a model to the world.



Luckily, unlike the people of Java, we have firearms now.



And unlike cavalry, infantry require no wool.



I was deeply nervous, I'll admit, about disbanding our entire army to replace them with infantry. The Sultan commanded it, but with Siam on the border ready to reclaim its former territory, it seemed like a huge gamble.



It turned out to be a brilliant gamble. By the time Siam began to consider aggressive action, our Infantry brigades were ready to go and our military seemed stronger than ever.



General Raja Inu wanted to be here today, but he was called to an emergency summit with the Sultan.




As you'll recall, somehow the planned declaration of war on Brunei was successfully kept a secret. No one heard and we took no hit to our global reputation.




It's just as well, because the Dutch would use any excuse they could come up with to take us down.



How did Egypt win the first Egyptian-Ethiopian War? They were outnumbered 3 to 1 by the Ethiopians and had half their territory occupied.



Of course, before we invaded Brunei, we took care to secure the home front. The Siamese might have been raring to reclaim our territory, but with the Burma alliance, their plans were postponed. Oh, yes, of course we would never join Burma if it went into war with Her Majesty's Government, this is purely a defensive pact.






Sometimes ambition doesn't pay.




The war was slow going. Without cavalry (and without wool to clothe the cavalry brigade that had been under construction for 12 years), the jungles of Borneo were difficult to besiege.



Some people have quick wars with maneuver, others have long sieges in the jungle.



The Great Powers even dig up the tombs of other peoples. Grave robbery.




And here it began, the Long War, or at least the Southeast Asian theater of it. I know that you don't reckon the start date until the British theater opened, but in Southeast Asia it makes sense to start it with the Dutch war against Siam and Aceh. Of course, we wanted Aceh and were bitterly disappointed that the Dutch beat us to it, but our army was still in the jungles of Brunei.




Neutrality sometimes means vast foreign armies marching back and forth across your country.



Neutrality sometimes means watching the Siamese army strand itself on a tiny island.




It's a dangerous world navigating the imperial powers. The sons of the conquered sign up to fight for the French in a bid to survive.



And so the Dutch cemented their hold on all of Sumatra...



And reached the zenith of their power.



But the Thais fight on, for reasons I still wonder about. Nevertheless, we did not yet call it the Long War.



It was about this point that the name caught on. Yes, the Dutch war against Siam is technically separate from the Dutch war against Britain and Austria, but they are quite similar nonetheless.



The story goes that there was some sort of insult at a banquet or some such nonsense? European politics are complicated and petty. I couldn't imagine going to war over an insult.



Unless we could be like the USCA and expand via another country's victories.



Only the USA would ban slavery in the new territories and pass a law banning limitations on slavery at the same time.




Of course, because you powers were distracted by the war, the Russians felt it was worth testing the waters for a dismemberment of the Ottoman Empire. No one dared stop them, and this was deeply concerning throughout the Muslim world.



Only your Swiss would take the opportunity of a pan-European war to declare that a German territorial claim was void.



I thought that the French were rivals of yours, yet they let British armies walk straight into the Rhineland?




Minor powers on both sides suffered...didn't you completely wipe out the Danish military?



We learned something from this war.



We sieged Brunei itself when we heard word that Maximilian had declared himself absolute emperor of Mexico.



The Battle of Brunei was one of the finer moments of the infant Johore military.



The effort to reclaim the Holy Land met with some initial difficulties...



I heard that the Ottomans lost many a good soldier against the Persians in the war.



As your minor powers bowed out of the war, your country suddenly made our neighborhood very relevant.




A British Sumatra? The prospect shocked many, delighted some, horrified others, left none ambivalent. Could the Dutch hold out against this? If your government grabbed Sumatra, the backbone of the Dutch East Indies would be broken and we might dare take the rest.



Why yes, I did hear of the Battle of the Archaeologists.





We found many useful discoveries when we annexed Brunei, like the presence of grain to actually grow our own food.




Tens of thousands of Malays were added to my Sultan's dominions.



The new forts have proven quite nice.



Nicer still: the presence of actual food.



The long war raged on...would Siam hold out against the Dutch? Would the Dutch hold out against the British? Would the Austrian military continue to exist at all?



It's amazing how well the Dutch held together against Siam when their entire home was occupied.



Famine continued to strike despite the grain of Brunei.



Ethiopia's strategy of a massive Arab coalition to fight the Egyptians seemed a wise one.



Congratulations on Accra, I hear it's a lovely port.



Jerusalem belongs in the Keeper of the Holy Cities' hands.





Of course, Arabs elsewhere fell victim to Spain's expansion, and with Denmark out of the war, things began to shift in North Germany's favor.



The destruction of the Austrian army didn't help your cause in Britain.



Our remodeled educational system has been working quite nicely indeed.



We witnessed the last naval battles with our own eyes off the coast. In retrospect, it would have been better for us if you had sunk the transports with the Dutch soldiers inside rather than stranding them on our border in Siam.



Now they'll never leave.



Worse, the crisis prevented you from coming to the defense of the Caliph!



Without British aid, the Turks surrendered and that...monstrosity now sprawls over former territory of the Dar al-Islam!





Russia, not content with its new puppet, saved the Egyptians from themselves and ended Ethiopia's ambitions.





Some wars have no winners, only losers.



The day will come and come soon when Asians can contend with Europeans in Great Power politics, and sooner yet if more of these massively destructive wars occur. Why yes, governor, I would be interested in negotiating a free trade pact with Her Majesty's government...

Demographics of Johore


The World, 1861

PleasingFungus
Oct 10, 2012
idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
How soon do you think it would be practical to declare war on the Dutch? The prospect sounds pretty intimidating, even if they're a bit past their prime...

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

PleasingFungus posted:

How soon do you think it would be practical to declare war on the Dutch? The prospect sounds pretty intimidating, even if they're a bit past their prime...

Hard to say, but I do think that once I Westernize (which should be late 1860s) I'd be in a position to take them on in a situation where they're already entangled in a war in Europe.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

I don't pretend to understand Vicky 2 , but how the heck did your country not explode messily from a few decades of having no food?

GSD
May 10, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
I cannot wait until we invent solid gold tanks.

And solid gold airplanes.

fake edit: goldclads.

C...
Jan 22, 2008

Tootin the Doom Flute has led the Kingdom of Ankist into a new age of illumination. Every morning, people wake up and open palm slam a woodwind instrument into their mouth. It is the Doom Flute and right then and there they start playing the notes. They play every note, and they play every note hard

Ratoslov posted:

I don't pretend to understand Vicky 2 , but how the heck did your country not explode messily from a few decades of having no food?

I think it's something like, there's no imported or calorie dense food available so people are eating a lot of foraged tubers and such, whatever is around, but it takes a lot more time in their days, is less reliable than bread, and is very un-westernized.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
So that Bulgaria... Because it was liberated in a crisis, the Ottomans lost their cores.

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Veloxyll
May 3, 2011

Fuck you say?!

Patter Song posted:

So that Bulgaria... Because it was liberated in a crisis, the Ottomans lost their cores.

None shall hold claim to GLORIOUS BULGARIA, Pride of the Black Sea.

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