My Parents think I am in the Police Academy.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > My Parents think I am in the Police Academy.

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

That's rough op. There's no way you could kill your parents without anyone knowing right? Like just murder them and take over their estate? Otherwise you're probably in for some tough times..sorry man.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2014 20:34

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 04:52

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

PT6A posted:

You sound like a really, really terrible person. Not because you couldn't bring yourself to go to class (that's not good, though) but because you're lying to your parents who are supporting you financially. You should probably tell them sooner rather than later, so they can never, ever invest in your future again, if that's how you treat them.

Lying doesn't make you a bad person. He's actually bringing his parents joy by lying to them, for now.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2014 20:39

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

Darkman Fanpage posted:

lying is actually one of the things that does make you a bad person hth

I'm sorry you aren't a functioning adult but lying is a part of life

# ¿ Aug 17, 2014 20:42

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

ThirdPartyView posted:

You ever consider liposuction?

Good point. He could just tell his parents that he failed the physical exam once it got to that point, because he's too fat. So he needs money for lipo and money to re-apply.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2014 21:10

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

Darth123123 posted:

Seek therapy Jon. Isn't being jp ban able?

He hasn't raped anyone yet.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2014 00:37

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

Eagerly awaiting the OP being unprobated in 25 days so he can respond to all this.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2014 19:21

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

quote:

Party Next Door wrote on Aug 28, 2014 03:25:
Hey this is the OP from the Police Academy thread. Can you please update my thread for me. As of today I have still not told my parents about me dropping out. I found out the girl I was in love with is pregnant, but it's probably not mine. I have cut off contact with her, but it does hurt. I have decided to just live my life one day at a time. I am not like other people. I will probably never have the wife and two kids, with a dog, and white picket fence. At this point I really don't care if I live and die in my parents house, as long I can say I enjoyed life. And a lot of people were asking for a description. Looks and personality wise I see myself as a black version of James Franco, Jonah Hill, and Donald Glover, with a dash of Quentin Tarantino. I have decided that I want to work in film and I will die penniless and alone before I pursue another career

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 04:31

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

I have to say I am enthralled by this tale.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 04:31

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

I hope this is legal

quote:

Party Next Door wrote on Aug 28, 2014 11:14:
She told me the kid was not mine initially. I told her to get away from me, and never talk to me again. She came back a few hours later in tears, and said that she had lied earlier, and that the kid really was mine. I said bullshit and sent her away again. She came back with her mom, but I refused to answer the door. I just stared out the window and pretended I could not see them. Eventually they just left. I have it on good authority that she never stopped seeing her high school boyfriend, and was just using me for party supplies and a place for her and her friends to crash. It was stupid to even get into a relationship with someone so young and immature. But that's the power of pussy lol. And yes I am a black man. That's a big part of my problem. If I was white people would think im this charming quirky slacker type like the kind of characters that Seth Rogan plays. But since I am black, and not "smooth" or "swagged out" I might as well be dead as far as white AND BLACK people are concerned. I feel like I would be given much more sympathy and understanding if I was a white guy. Manic pixie dream girls, don't gently caress with black guys.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 16:34

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

polarbear_terrorist posted:

Where did you find this and his other posts?

PMs.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2014 15:56

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 04:52

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

Party Next Door posted:

It does. Short fat and black is no way to go through American life. If you were serious about helping me, you help me find a girl in the Tampa area to take out and romance.

For the love of god someone get this man a date.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2014 03:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > My Parents think I am in the Police Academy.