Kayle7 posted:

Today I learned that 89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery

Salmiakki posted:

Fart gently caress Hell 5 posted:

The new moderator, Matoyo Royoki;

1. poo poo in a McDonald's Booth
2. He smeared it around
3. The police say he "smeared it around recklessly"
4. Didn't clean it up
5. He was arrested and had to do community service
6. Still on probation (from making GBS threads in the booth)
7. It's illegal to poo poo in McDonald's booths
8. He also poo poo the bed
9. He poo poo the bed on purpose
10. He also poo poo his pants on purpose and was arrested but the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
11. He still admitted privately to me that he "meant to poo poo his pants"

i am he posted:

WetNightmare posted:

[]Dls write mario luigi fear sex fanfiction here go mine

the lava pit fear sex

luigi jumping and mario jumping. it castle level having fun. all sudden they jump same time bumping into each other knocking each other off balance it was a lava jump so they were sure they were going to fall in the lava so mario took off luigis overalls and carressed his plumbar shouldrs. mario wanted it bad so did luigi at the time!!!! too!! they sexed mid air and climaxed together and the orgasm boosted their jump and they got past the level now they dont talk bout it but it happen ;(

lovely Wizard posted:

Classicist posted:

barber: i'm finished, take a look in the mirror
me:

dogcrash truther posted:

we havwe a saying here

lobster on the phone?
byob 8.2 is your home

quote:

bawbzilla wrote on May 10, 2014 1:24 PM:
when i was like 7 or something, really young either way, i peed on my cat that followed me into the bathroom and laughed the entire time, my mom walked in to see why i was laughing so much and started slapping me mid pee

i don't know why i did it or why it was so absurdly funny but I still kind of giggle thinking about it

Nosfereefer posted:

dick butt

Funnypost Collabo posted:

As someone with Anal Fissures, I can confirm that I refer to pooping as "Walking a dark horse through the Grand Canyon", because that's what it's like and how deep and grand my Anal Fissures are.

Classicist posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

what makes me laugh is that the nose is very long

Afro Doug in the 'so hungey for burriot' thread posted:

A toyota corolla is ripped apart by machine gun fire as pig slut lisa rolls through a red light on her bike. She yells out, " I'mm genting ab burrisho, you son ob a binsh!!! mothmer funcker!!!"

i am he posted:

every drat day my mom is nagging at me to clean my room make my bed. she doesnt know what its like to be a gay teen because she emerged from her eggsac fully matured phsycially and mentally

apt gangbang posted:

birdland, 1952, my grandpa sobbing at a table:
patron: hey sorry but can you keep it down ? im trying to listen to the music
coltrane: man that IS the music

dogcrash truther posted:

"Companies are releasing their games in ALPHA for fucks sake. What the gently caress is that? I'm not paying money for a game that's barely functional." - Hitler

GEExCEE posted:

some things never go out of style. I would know because I'm a highlander, and also a bit of a fashionista.

i am he posted:

*parachute into cockpit of plane smashing through the windshield spraying glass all over hijacker pilots while wearing the badass parachuet that looks like a scary face when open*

me: did somebody call....911?

WAFFLEHOUND posted:

i am he posted:

tell your dad to go into his bathroom at the stroke of midnight, and say "gay" into the mirror 7 times, and a gay monster will apear

hide in the bathroom closet and when he does it come out and say "its just me, dad, im not a monster, but i am gay"

i am he posted:

tell your dad to go into his bathroom at the stroke of midnight, and say "gay" into the mirror 7 times, and a gay monster will apear

hide in the bathroom closet and when he does it come out and say "its just me, dad, im not a monster, but i am gay"

Classicist posted:

soybean posted:

this reminds me of a painting I regret not buying a couple years back, I took a picture of it

Classicist posted:

the year is 1996 Rage Against the Machine just released their sophomore album, Evil Empire

rebellion buzzed through the airwaves of america

Terror, the product ya push
Well I'm a truth addict, aww poo poo I gotta head rush

but if you were a young child, you weren't likely to know it. it's altogether more likely that you were being fed a conveniently whitewashed worldview. one full of happy endings and empty of conflicts except for those that could be wrapped up in time for your bedtime at 8:30 pm.

Lying always, sucking on a bottle of
That sweet indulgent fluid

and one figure was at the front of this campaign of complacency



meet doug funny, your sheeple in chief. after a two year hiatus, disney had just renewed the series for a new run. what's the matter, walt? were people starting to wake up? this new run didn't even feature the original voice of doug, billy west, an actually good voice actor (futurama), and one who apparently wasn't willing to play ball with the new regime. his brave act of defiance sadly wasn't enough, as disney stupidly got some idiot to replace him, and he couldn't even do the voice right.

Father's expectations
Soul soaked in spit and urine

the world of doug was a like a terrifying quaalude fueled haze. was there a topical issue that RATM took a powerful and poetic stand against? well doug was there to wash it over. go back to sleep, children, it was only your imagination. racism?



this is skeeter. a joke. a parody of a proud person of color. he can barely speak, and does so mostly in animal-like honks.

So now I'm rollin' down Rodeo with a shotgun
These people ain't seen a brown skin man
Since their grandparents bought one

the mental reprogramming has begun. but what about female representation? hosed again. here she is, children, the object of your desire, the apple of your eye. or should i say the candied apple?



patty mayonnaise. mmmm, feel like burgers, kids? i wonder why...



And while the gut eaters strain to pull the mud from their mouths
They force our ears to go deaf to the screams in the south


what doug did for the state of children's programming in america is akin to what bush did for public safety in iraq




it's a sickening piece of fascist propaganda and the writing is really hit or miss.

/ 5


And Disney bought the fantasies and piles of eyes
And ABC's new thrill ride of trials and lies

dogcrash truther posted:

Highly Unnecessary posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3639022#post430367776

Air Julio posted:

Hey DCT, would you be so kind as to perma-sticky this thread so I don't have to search for it when I find funny posts?