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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Republican Legislators to Sue President Obama over Health Potion Mandate
 
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GEExCEE

 "We as a country simply can't afford this law," said Speaker of the House, John Boehner (R-Waterdeep) "It is foolish and wasteful to make everyone have to carry three wands of Greater Heal all the time. Don't even get me started on healing surges. Back in the day, most people in the party didn't even carry bandages and we were fine because of course we brought a cleric along. Obama's plan isn't just bad legislation, it's an attack on the traditional Faerunian way of life."

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:10
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 19:57
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Dexters Secret

 I would like you to know I appreciate your thread a lot.

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:13
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Disco_Bandit
 Clerics are going to have nothing to do and the church will go under with them. Obama is literally trying to wage war on god with this legislation.

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:15
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google THIS

 ugh, my cleric now charges me 1000 gold per resurrection spell, and that's with insurance. i'm starting to think it would be cheaper to just pay the fine and restore from my last save whenever I die

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:17
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


 It's bullshit that I have to buy healing spells that I don't even have enough mana to cast.

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:19
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bacalou


 as a stealth class im exempt from this legislation seeing as my sneak attributes are too high to ever draw aggro

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:20
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google THIS

 as a barbarian my hp are plenty high enough for most battles so I don't see why I should have to buy a bunch of potions just so a bunch of no-account mages can afford them, "distributed risk" my rear end

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:22
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Nosfereefer

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM
 lol @ people w/ low ac, if u didn't wanna get hurt u shouldn't have been hit in the first place

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:28
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Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

 In other news, the abolishment of corpse chunk eating from prospective dungeon crawlers has prompted a heated debate from both sides of the aisle. Texas Governor Rick Perry is quoted as saying, "This is another example of the nanny state dictating how a freedom loving American can act. Here in Texas, we love to chow down on a raw chunk of orc flesh and see no reason why we must to carry around 15 loaves of bread if we don't want to."

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:40
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tao of lmao

 It's weird: I made a video game thread the other day, and soon after, a thread about politicians playing video games surfaced. Yesterday I make a d&d thread, and now there's a politicians/dungeons and dragons thread. I don't really have a point to any of this; it's just weird.

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:47
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Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

 Onlookers reported seeing an airborne Hispanic man brandishing a knife on the morning of August 19th. While most of his comments were inaudible, one local woman claims to have heard him yell, "Ya'll are biters!" before sailing off towards a distant cilantro field.

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:52
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google THIS

 the drat libs keep wanting to roll half elves and half orcs. what they're really trying to do is make humans extinct through interbreeding

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:54
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Stormyish

 Grognark no care about bill.
Me no like wizards anyway.
Grognark strong, grognark no need healy potion.
Only puny baby pointy ears need potion.
Grognark once eat entire pointy ear person.

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 16:55
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 19:57
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HUSKY DILF

aggressively chill
 The law requires that everyone carries potions sure

But none of the local hospitals HAVE to accept the government vouchers that are supposed to give me free potions so I still end up in the ED with all the hobbits and their diabetic foot infections

* # ? Aug 19, 2014 17:16
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Republican Legislators to Sue President Obama over Health Potion Mandate