- Captain No-mates
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this one time mom went out early and left me alone for the entire day, now the house was my personal fief. i was the king in the castle i could do whatever i wanted. i made some promises to be a good boy and 'respect the rules of the house' i could barely stop myself from rolling my eyes haha. well suffice to say this was one of the days that you look back on and would give anything to live them again. the sun peering through the windows, i knew it would be a day to remember and i drank that entire loving thing of sunny d
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Aug 26, 2014 21:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 8, 2024 13:03
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- Captain No-mates
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me and my friend joel were going for a bike ride one day through the woods, standard stuff when you live in the middle of nowhere on a weekend, just looking for anything to do. we had no idea what lay ahead of us that day and how it would change everything in our lives forever. joel was the first to notice, there was a distinct smell of woodsmoke but i smelt it too within a couple of seconds. were there people living here in the middle of the forrest? with nothing better to do in our lives we decided to investigate. who could these mystery inhabitants be, we dreamed up criminals, sorcerors, trolls anything you could think of but when we located the dying remains of a fire there was but one hunched over, dressed heavily for the early autumn. we realised he wasnt moving at all, it was eerie we waited for what seemed like an eternity and still no movement, no sound. joel and i looked at each other and we knew what to do. between us we loving crushed that entire thing of sunny d, no survivors :P
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Aug 26, 2014 21:39
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- tao of lmao
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I jumped off the roof of my parents' house into a pile of autumn leaves. Holding my cat.
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Aug 26, 2014 21:46
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- Lil Cunty
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i fell out of a ski lift and broke my leg in three places
then i threw up
e: something something sunny d
Lil Cunty fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Aug 26, 2014
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Aug 26, 2014 21:47
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- Captain No-mates
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it was the depth of winter, everything was covered in snow. i had no idea what lay ahead of me as i fastened my heaviest coat and meant to make the most of this day outside. the woods surrounding my house were pristine, like you see in cartoons, not a single imperfection. i made my way trudging through deep snow there was an eerie sense of how quiet the world was. all of nature had been smothered by this carpet of white. i took it all in, knowing i would probably never see anything like it again in my entire life. however all was not perfect as i lost my footing on a concealed root and tumbled down a hill and became lodged in a snow drift, if i was cold before i was loving freezing now. i could feel the heat slowly leaving my body with every breath. i knew i had to do somnething or i would succumb to the overwhelming cold. luckily as you can tell by me telling you this story i was prepared, the minutes stretched out as i grabbed the item from my bag, relief flooded into me as i got in front of me and i necked the entire loving gallon of sunny d
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Aug 26, 2014 21:57
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- a ritard
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by XyloJW
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Accidentaly megadosed on prescription cough syrup* and had a blast playing crono trigger while home sick from school.
*turns out the ear ache was a result of fluid encephalitis, which was shamefully untreated until a major stroke paralyzed me and i ended up having surgery and boy i will tell you the neurosurgeon gets some primo poo poo.
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Aug 26, 2014 22:01
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- posting smiling
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it was the depth of winter, everything was covered in snow. i had no idea what lay ahead of me as i fastened my heaviest coat and meant to make the most of this day outside. the woods surrounding my house were pristine, like you see in cartoons, not a single imperfection. i made my way trudging through deep snow there was an eerie sense of how quiet the world was. all of nature had been smothered by this carpet of white. i took it all in, knowing i would probably never see anything like it again in my entire life. however all was not perfect as i lost my footing on a concealed root and tumbled down a hill and became lodged in a snow drift, if i was cold before i was loving freezing now. i could feel the heat slowly leaving my body with every breath. i knew i had to do somnething or i would succumb to the overwhelming cold. luckily as you can tell by me telling you this story i was prepared, the minutes stretched out as i grabbed the item from my bag, relief flooded into me as i got in front of me and i necked the entire loving gallon of sunny d
hahaha
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Aug 26, 2014 22:23
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- Captain No-mates
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me annd craig (god rest his soul) were trecking down to the ol watering hole, it was one of the hottest days of the summer and we needed something to us off. the sweat clung to our bodies as we made the naive smallchat of childhood friends, making jokes at eachother expense and engaging in general tomfoolery as we got closer to the watering hole we heard voiced. this was unusual as this was OUR watering hole, we'd never shared it with anyone. as we grew closer we realised that the voices were too high pitched for boys, there were girls tainting our swimming hole. our carefree mood was poisoned in an instant and we began plotting how we would make these harpies pay for their transgressions. we approached low over a small mound so they wouldn't see us, the first thing we noticed was the pile of clothes on top of the hill . our boyish innocence was about to come to an end and as i looked at craig i knew that this would be a day i would remember for the rest of my life. he looked back and got a smile on his face and gave me the wink i had been waiting for, we inched backwards so we were perfectly hidden and we necked the entire loving thing of sunny d
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Aug 26, 2014 22:29
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- les fleurs du mall
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by LadyAmbien
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I derailed an Amtrak train
Derailed an Aatrek thread
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Aug 26, 2014 22:30
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- tao of lmao
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bump (LOL)
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Jan 8, 2015 00:06
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- saboten
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good bump
 thank u bacalou
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Jan 8, 2015 00:08
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- alnilam
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I liked that bump gj
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Jan 8, 2015 00:18
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- tao of lmao
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Jan 8, 2015 00:23
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- bog pixie
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Jan 8, 2015 02:52
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- Harime Nui
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The New Insincerity
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Michael Volkmann if you're reading this it was I who stole your White Urza deck you rich bitch 
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Jan 8, 2015 02:55
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- bog pixie
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this one time mom went out early and left me alone for the entire day, now the house was my personal fief. i was the king in the castle i could do whatever i wanted. i made some promises to be a good boy and 'respect the rules of the house' i could barely stop myself from rolling my eyes haha. well suffice to say this was one of the days that you look back on and would give anything to live them again. the sun peering through the windows, i knew it would be a day to remember and i drank that entire loving thing of sunny d
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Jan 8, 2015 03:05
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- deep dish peat moss
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Jan 8, 2015 03:19
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- mouse in nature
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Naturally
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when i was little i was eating a cookie and my dog was staring at me and i felt bad so i wanted to give him a bite. i offered him a bite but he snatched the whole cookie and gobbled it down and i got mad that he was being selfish even though i was being nice and sharing with him so i started crying.
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Jan 8, 2015 06:46
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- Theglavwen
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Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
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I got into an argument with a friend of mine over whether or not Superman was real. He said his mom told him that Superman wasn't real, but I was pretty adamant she was wrong. I was much better at arguing, so I won, and I won so hard that his mom changed her mind too, and soon the whole neighbourhood was on board, then the whole town, then the whole region started believing in Superman. Soon the belief was so strong that Superman actually became real, and now we hang out and do cool things.
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Jan 8, 2015 07:05
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- mailorder bees
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FLUFFERNUTTER
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thanks Manifisto!
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Jan 8, 2015 15:34
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- tao of lmao
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when i was little i was eating a cookie and my dog was staring at me and i felt bad so i wanted to give him a bite. i offered him a bite but he snatched the whole cookie and gobbled it down and i got mad that he was being selfish even though i was being nice and sharing with him so i started crying.
i know that feel. fwiw the dog prolly felt really bad once you started crying
edit: also, hi nature mouse!
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Jan 8, 2015 15:41
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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I got into an argument with a friend of mine over whether or not Superman was real. He said his mom told him that Superman wasn't real, but I was pretty adamant she was wrong. I was much better at arguing, so I won, and I won so hard that his mom changed her mind too, and soon the whole neighbourhood was on board, then the whole town, then the whole region started believing in Superman. Soon the belief was so strong that Superman actually became real, and now we hang out and do cool things.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jan 8, 2015 15:52
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- playground tough
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Me and the neighborhood boys were stomping the block as we did back in the day. Bicycles flying leaving nothin but tire skids in our tracks, you know the deal, nobody hosed with us. We found our way into the towns waterway and ditch system and were having a grand old time. Josh took a venture down a large drainage pipe and returned with something ill never forget. In his hand he had a black plastic bag containing the most vile thing my eyes had ever seen - a vhs porno tape. The back of the box had images of the undercarriages of some 90s/early00's porno women that my brain would not be able to put together for another 6 years. But something inside me knew i was all about that sweet sweet tane. You're loving right i faced that entire box of smores poptarts.
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Jan 8, 2015 16:06
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- mouse in nature
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Naturally
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i know that feel. fwiw the dog prolly felt really bad once you started crying
edit: also, hi nature mouse!
hi! 
yeah he was a great dog
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Jan 8, 2015 16:40
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- saboten
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me annd craig (god rest his soul) were trecking down to the ol watering hole, it was one of the hottest days of the summer and we needed something to us off. the sweat clung to our bodies as we made the naive smallchat of childhood friends, making jokes at eachother expense and engaging in general tomfoolery as we got closer to the watering hole we heard voiced. this was unusual as this was OUR watering hole, we'd never shared it with anyone. as we grew closer we realised that the voices were too high pitched for boys, there were girls tainting our swimming hole. our carefree mood was poisoned in an instant and we began plotting how we would make these harpies pay for their transgressions. we approached low over a small mound so they wouldn't see us, the first thing we noticed was the pile of clothes on top of the hill . our boyish innocence was about to come to an end and as i looked at craig i knew that this would be a day i would remember for the rest of my life. he looked back and got a smile on his face and gave me the wink i had been waiting for, we inched backwards so we were perfectly hidden and we necked the entire loving thing of sunny d
thank u bacalou
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Jan 8, 2015 16:55
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- om nom nom
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om nom nom nom nom nom nom
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Im an eagle scout which took quite a bit of time and commitment looking back as an adult
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Jan 8, 2015 23:27
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- Commie NedFlanders
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Seconding Hi to natural mouse
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
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Jan 8, 2015 23:46
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- oliwan
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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ur mam lol
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Jan 8, 2015 23:47
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 8, 2024 13:03
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- mouse in nature
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Naturally
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Seconding Hi to natural mouse
hey husband <3
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Jan 9, 2015 02:38
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Aug 26, 2014 21:25
