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Somewhere between the top and middle layers of GBS, where the really creamy poo poo collects and congeals, resides BSS's red-headed stepchild, The Bad Webcomics Thread. This spiritual successor to the CAD mock thread and the Dominic Deegan Drinking Game is where bad webcomics are freely posted and mocked, and easy enough to find because ALL webcomics are bad, you see. Or so we thought. Until someone started posting this comic called  (From left to right: Christie, Mark, Allison, Tubsy, Aurora, Pasqualo, Katie) Goodness yes, It Hurts!! is a pretty cool webcomic. From the About page: Gobolatula posted:IT HURTS!! is a comic about a silly boy riddled with depression and anxiety named Pasqualo and how he finds his first love, a mysterious yet super kind girl named Aurora. Pasqualo also has lots of friends, including his best friend Allison who’s a dirty little munchkin and Tubsy who’s a chilled out big fat dude. Over time, strange and crazy things start happening and before you know it, the whole world changes. Pasqualo and crew are typical american kids attending a typical american middle school in the state of New Jersey (Burlington County, to be exact). These kids are delightful assholes, but poo poo starts to spin increasingly out of control. At first though, it is about friends and falling in love.   This art style only lasts for a few pages, then switches over to something easier than the eyes:  Also there's Tubsy. I like Tubsy. I think you will, too. There's some use of the word "human being" early on but the comic gently drops that a third of the way in, especially with the introduction of Rutherford.   This is with a lot more grace than I've seen out of a lot of webcomics, actually. The word "cuntwad" is still tossed around, so sorry if that is a deal-breaker.  Some of the characters, such as Pasqualo's dad here, are from an earlier comic of Gobolatula's. Pas's Dad has many talents, such as painting!  I like his dad's paintings. This is Katie! Katie is always ranting about some crazy, paranoid thing.   And finally, meet Aurora! She is super nice, and she and Pasqualo have the worst case of the puppyloves.  Overall, I think you all will enjoy this webcomic! But, it's best if you start from the beginning. In fact, click here to go to the first comic, and marathon this poo poo out. DO NOT GO TO THE MAIN PAGE FIRST. You know how you do. Open up a new tab. Do it. Now. We can wait. RAD IMPORTANT EDITED IN NOTE: READ UP TO #100 BEFORE GOING TO PAGE 2, I loving MEAN IT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS poo poo ENOUGH AND FRANKLY I EXPECT THE VERY BEST FROM YOU. Seriously, though, from page 2 onward SPOILERS WILL ABOUND because we can't loving wait for your babby rear end to put down that IRL work and read our internet comics properly. So, read at least until the #100th comic, fuckshit. Only then you will understand why I bolded all them words up there. You will understand. Pow. Gangsta poo poo. Literally Kermit fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Aug 28, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 16:55
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Various Goons posted:no On the fence, are we? How about you take a seat right there and we Meet the Main Cast! Now, maybe you missed the hint up there about something happening at a certain part of the proceedings. Maybe Allison gets a new hairstyle, I don't know. So, for this post, anything that happens after strip #100 will be spoiler-tagged, in case you're the kind of rear end in a top hat who didn't gosh darn drop everything and read the archives this second, SHEESH.  Aurora is a kind and pretty girl who shows up from nowhere and starts attending Pasqualo's school. She and Pasqualo fall in love immediately, although he neglected to learn anything about her after their first meeting, including her name. She has an almost supernatural level of patience and understanding, and is just gosh-darn the best. Together, she and Pasqualo are totally going to kick-rear end at the annual talent show! She's actually an angelic being, possibly God Herself. When she begins singing at the talent show it triggers an apocolypse that unleashes monsters upon the world. The name of the comic is from when she saw the look on his face [from witnessing the apocolypse] and instead of thinking "Go comfort him" thought "It hurts" and ran away. And then came back and is keeping his heart for safekeeping. Literally.  Pasqualo is an average boy who has gotten a bad case of the puppylove, which takes up a great deal of his time early on. He was raised by his father and has never met his mother. He is cheerful, well-meaning, and dumb. He's besties with Allison and Tubsy, they have a secret handshake and everything. Later on, Aurora becomes the fourth member of their club. Pasqualo had no idea he was a cyborg until Aurora's song triggered his latent regeneration technology. He is now super strong and making the best of the end of the world. At the moment, he's torn between three seperate girls, on of which is a snake woman, and another who is maybe God. He's still a decent guy, although having no restrictions on anything anymore has brought out darker parts of his personality.  Allison is Pas' best friend since the age of 2, and has always been there for him and viseversa! She's a crude little thing, scrappy as hell, and gives zero fucks in general. She was adopted, 'possibly' black, and loves fruit snacks. She doesn't like Mark, who manages to be even cruder than she is.  Allison is so loving rad she gets TWO character establishing comics. Allison dies. Then Allison was a zombie. Loss of her eye has only enhanced her badassness, and her deathwounds have been patched up with squirrelparts. Pasqualo and Ally are now the only family each other has, with Pas considering himself as her baby brother.  Tubsy is a dealer, serial killer, gentleman, and all around fat gently caress. He is very strong and tough, able to smash pallets over his head, just for kicks. He was thin until a few years ago, when he discovered deep-fried poptarts. Hell yeah. He kills Mark for being an rear end in a top hat to Ally just a day before the Talent show, then dies being literally dragged to hell by demons. He hasn't been seen since.  Katie is a paranoid classmate of Pasqualo, who she may also have a crush for. If she does, she hides it under a blistering torrent of bullshit like how the dead will rise, asteroids will scour the earth, monsters will be unleashed, and how she has a bunker stocked by a cyborg friend of hers. Absolutely everything Katie said was true. Her cyborg friend is Pasqualo's long lost mom, and it's because of her bunker that Katie survives the apocalypse. And she does have a crush on Pas, too.  Mark is nothing but a torrent of perversion. He has been verbally assaulting Allison with sexually explicit poo poo for like, years. He's the one guy Allison can't deal with, mostly because he kept getting off on her beating the poo poo out of him. Mark has attempted the same shtick on Aurora, but she seem genuinely amused by it, rather than repulsed. Mark gets his motherfucking head punched through by Tubsy after breaking his promise to leave Ally alone. Ally deliberately baited Mark in an effort to get him to leave Aurora alone, but hadn't planned on Tubsy's straight up gangsta poo poo. Pow.  Christie is a girl who has a crush on Tubsy, but hates the girl who Tubsy seems to always hang out with. Maybe they can be friends some day. She and Ally reconcile, and then team up to trick Mark into harassing Ally. She feels incredible guilt because of his death, and nearly hangs herself backstage at the talent show. Pasqualo's rap convinces her not to go through with it, but she dies anyway from spikes erupting from the ground when everything goes to complete poo poo. I'll leave you all to experience the minor characters all first hand, some of them defy a proper, short introduction. Most of them die, anyway, during the talent show. Notable is Ally's sister, Kim, who has only been seen alive in flashbacks. Literally Kermit fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Aug 27, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 18:13
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alcharagia posted:Aurora is my favorite character because her omnipresent smile makes for amazing facial expressions sometimes. Yeah. Even sad, she looks happy. I don't think she's ever been angry, although there's like one instance when her smile looks a little strained (or it could be she was stifling a laugh).
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Aug 27, 2014 18:45
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Robviously posted:[loving SPONTANEOUS PARODY LYRICS] Noted and corrected accordingly. Also holy poo poo did you just make that up those lyrics Edit: I don't know Do I Do I dare check how well this syncs up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I Literally Kermit fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Aug 27, 2014 |
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Aug 27, 2014 19:21
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Grimpond posted:hmm yes, a persuasive argument, give me a moment to prepare my counterpoint YOU ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE TO ME!!!! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!
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Aug 27, 2014 20:52
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Holy poo poo, I haven't read proto-IH yet. By the way, if you haven't read it by now, sucks to be you, because no more spoiler tags here on out. Let's see if God Dammit is any good.  Holy poo poo.   
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Aug 28, 2014 00:03
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scarycave posted:I could have sworn I brought this up before in the mock thread - or maybe I backed out and thought it was looking too much into a webcomic. Anyways, the prequel comic does have some possible foreshadowing things going on. I have seen it posted, but never in its entirety. I thought it only was a comic rebooted into It Hurts, but it's more like IH is the sequel to God Dammit. I say this chiefly because I was puzzled why Satan just pops up and acts all chummy with Pasqualo right before shooting him in the dick. It seemed like such a non sequitur. Now I know - he's disappointed his old promising drinking buddy failed to kill God.  It's best not to read THAT much into it, though, you guys are right. I'm still enjoying this comic about a kid so badass that God turned him in a cyborg just to de-power him a little. Then I dunno, got a crush on him. How many times has God been punched, really? Edit: Shakenbaker posted:Gob talks a bit about God Dammit! in the print version. He says that it's basically a prototype, not canon or whatever. You'll see stuff you recognize, but it isn't going to be one to one with It Hurts!! This is more than acceptable for all practical It Hurt-sing purposes. vvv Literally Kermit fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Aug 28, 2014 |
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Aug 28, 2014 00:40
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Adastern posted:It Hurts!! has legit the best depiction of Satan I've seen. Yes. His appearance so sudden and unexpected that at first I thought it was the ghost of Pasqualo's dad, manifesting as an idealized version of himself. It certainly explained why he ended the conversation with a bullet to the dick.  The greatest way I've seen any conversation cut off, really.
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Aug 28, 2014 06:09
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net cafe scandal posted:Thanks OP I'm devoted. It's frighteningly easy to get that way! This comic managed to out-Homestuck Homestuck with a fraction of the budget and time invested, and none of the creepy fanbase! (Please keep this particular record spotless, tia). And as someone else already pointed out, there's also an element of 'Tails Gets Trolled' to It Hurts!!; both comics faithfully follow a weird but consistent internal logic, which keeps its insanity from reaching forced 'monkeycheese random' levels of humor. But where as the accident of nature that is Lazerbot's approach to storytelling (he really is good at making comics people want to read, after all- I think of him as an idiot savant of a storyteller), It Hurts does it much better, and with its own original characters that I actually give a poo poo about. Allison, for example, is The Best.  This is the key thing I love about It Hurts, is that when zany poo poo happens (Schools on fire! Tubsy kills Mark! Oh poo poo, there goes the planet!) it has actual, lasting consequences (Various people died in the fire, Tubsy got immediately arrested and sent to JV, Pasqualo dragging his dead best friend back home and dealing with the fact his girlfriend sang the world to death) to which people more or less react realistically (Pas reaction to Katie missing, Christie becoming suicidal for her role in Mark's death, Pas drinking and talking to Allison's corpse as a coping mechanism). In short, wild and zany poo poo happens that people don't pop back up immediately like cartoon characters (but still continue to act like cartoon characters, leading to more tragic fun) just works so well for this. The usual cycle of me loving something which inevitably leads to its ruin has so far been kept in check by becoming something I honestly can't predict anymore. Back when I was coming up with fan theories for It Hurts before realizing I was coming up with fan theories for It Hurts (my medication takes a bit to kick in some mornings) I was sure that the Zombie King was going to be a ressurected Mark, the perfect nemesis for Allison to battle and overthrow for the crown. But the Zombie King was Elvis. And Allison literally just had to take the crown from him. Then all were bros. From that point on, I've decided to just enjoy the ride.  This is an accurate depiction of just enjoying the ride.
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Aug 28, 2014 10:30
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Chronojam posted:I'd put a warning on the first page to absolutely not read this second page. You'd lose the magic of the first hundred. This is a good idea so I will do it. Fake edit: Oh, it is page three. Okay so if you have read this post but not page one yet go back and read the first post on the first page, and await further instructions. If you have read this post and also page one, here are those further instructions: post your fave IH moments aw yes.
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Aug 28, 2014 19:55
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Chronojam posted:My favorite moment was walking away from the burning building with DOG FOOD and heart sunglasses Actually, some goon in the bad webcomics thread made a wallpaper out of that; it's currently my own, actually! And oh hey, here it is: 
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Aug 28, 2014 20:14
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this thing and it's all your fault
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Grimpond posted:yea afaik trisssh i guess is implied to worship pasqualo+aurora as the new gods? there was something kinda religious implied when pasqualo did the wall drawing and trisssh reacted to it Trissh understood Pasqualo was trying to depict the event that triggered the end of the human world, and the harbinger of the monster age, something she and her people (if any) have been waiting for a long time, presumably. That would explain her instant shift in allegiance- Pasqualo is Monster Jesus.
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Aug 28, 2014 23:07
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Robviously posted:Going along with what Kermit said, Trisssh sees Pasqualo as a god because he created this mess. She holds Aurora up as well because she helped Pasqualo do it. If Pas is the Jesus of this story, Aurora is certainly the Mary figure in Trisssh's mind, ignoring the fact that Aurora is probably outright God or another heavenly being. I don't really see outright devotion to Aurora on Trisssh's part but there is definitely reverence and possibly protectionism due to the sacred symbolism of the dry erase board's iconography. That or fear of the whole 'ending you with a song because you made her your slave and bragged about banging her boyfriend and making her clean up the mess' aspect of their relationship. Aurora's face when Trisssh talked about ravishing Pascalo is amazing. It's impossible to tell if she is just faltering under Trissh's weight, suppressing anger towards Trisssh, or suppressing laughter because of Trisssh's immense arrogance Aurora is, y'know, God. Not exactly the sort to worry about a rival. It's interesting that the next immediate strip is Aurora letting Trisssh in on the joke.
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Aug 28, 2014 23:44
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The comic updates midnight every MWF. And yes, he is taking a break to recharge his buffer, making a second printing of books, sketches etc. from posting #210 to end of October. He's asked for fanart that he can post MWF it in the interim. One goon fan submitted one of Ally already, I will ask if they will post it in here.
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Aug 30, 2014 11:57
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DEAD MAN'S SHOE posted:Funny comic. Hope it doesn't go all pathos and (pre?)teen relationship-y because then it really would be homestuck redux Given Trisssh has a sweet car now, I'm hoping for a road-trip arc, go Less unlikely but funnier: find out New Jersey got the brunt of the apocalypse, the worst other places got were meteor showers and giant giant pandas.
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Aug 30, 2014 13:11
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mr.capps posted:We already got Mr. Jones for that though! Mr. Jones and me gonna be big stars Katie is a good character because ironically, she's a kook who is now most mundane one in a cast that includes a zombie, a cyborg, a snake girl, and God. Excepting Jennifer, Katie didn't really have a survival plan outside of 'survive the initial cataclysmic event', and now she has to deal with Pasqualo thriving despite having done gently caress all other than be a secret cyborg.
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Aug 30, 2014 21:52
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Data Graham posted:Still haven't quite forgiven him for Poop though. Eh, they're friends now. Or at least, Jones doesn't mind him chewing on skulls.
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Aug 31, 2014 18:55
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I like how Trisssh is now Pasqualo's literal housecarl. Also her slow transformation to Lord of the Rings cosplayer.
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Sep 1, 2014 16:19
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Shinmera posted:Hey, my copy arrived. Get crackalackin' on that, should take what, better part of an afternoon?  He really has the nicest notes with his sketches. He's so happy we're buying books! Almost makes me wish I wasn't dead broke buying booze for my bad webcomic habit.
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Sep 2, 2014 13:20
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Wicker Man posted:poo poo just got real. Wait... you can talk to dogs?  edit: Pasqualo's circuitry also glows when he's thinking too hard, besides using superpowers and being emotional and poo poo. Also Ally and Poop have matching eye sockets, holy poo poo why did I not notice this Literally Kermit fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Sep 3, 2014 |
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Sep 3, 2014 05:49
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Wasabi the J posted:I love the back of the book because they seem to focus on the last one entirely: quote:Join Pasqualo and his friends as they make their way through their last crazy year at middleschool!
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Sep 5, 2014 15:47
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Best character confirmed: Skulllcap Frank back there, not giving a gently caress
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Sep 8, 2014 05:31
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YF-23 posted:It's happened before She didn't stop smiling while people burned to death in that (first) school fire! But she seems perform her godliest powers only with the help of other people's imaginations, so pulling the fire alarm was the most helpful thing to do in that situation! The MSJ posted:Never thought I would saw another comic as unpredictable as Tails Gets Trolled. Good unpredictable at that. I expected his mom to show up again, but not quite this way. She could be using her son to kill Aurora, attempting to kill a rival cyborg, or she might be all 'lol just testing if you really are better technology than me' after Pasqualo brushes off the attack and regenerates himself. ... please regenerate, Pas! 
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Sep 8, 2014 18:02
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Paladinus posted:That's a pretty rad sixteen pack on that elephant.  Oh my gosh!
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Sep 9, 2014 04:07
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I was expecting Trisssh to somehow intervene with her new car, but not for Aurora to completely "no-sell" Jennifer's shenanigans. I am okay with this! That grin and finger wag are the absolute best oh gosh
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Sep 10, 2014 12:58
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:<
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Sep 15, 2014 05:34
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Wicker Man posted:The heck is this thing from? It's from a comic satirizing the webcomic Goblins.  Unsympathetic protagonists, cartoonishly evil antagonists, and The Sad. Seriously, the last three panels is spot on how Thunt handles dramatic scenes - hamfistedly. Luckily he is dead, except apparently he is undead, too.
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Sep 15, 2014 16:25
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Frionnel posted:Now i'm imagining an It Hurts!! point and click adventure game. The Foyer You are standing in the foyer of your house. You hear the sounds of side 2 of Led Zeppelin 4 playing nearby. Exits are to the north, south, and upstairs. There is a painting here. There is a scrap of paper with writing on it here. There is an empty beer bottle here.
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Sep 16, 2014 01:12
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Moddington posted:> get flask You could, but your dad would kill you, and it's almost always in his back hip pocket. He's very adamant about keeping it near or on his person, saying he needs it to counteract the memory that he has such a loving terrible pussy for a son. What a kidder! Your dad's limited edition black metal forest coocoo clock starts belting out the opening riffs of 'War Pigs'. It's seven in the morning - school starts soon.
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Sep 16, 2014 01:26
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Afraid of Audio is going on the same length hiatus as It Hurts. It.... hurts.  However, guest comics roll on:  One thing guest comics have going for them is it's incredibly hard to gently caress up these guys' characterization.
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Sep 24, 2014 21:14
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Blackheart posted:I disagree, Kermit I thought you Blackheart, but it is nice to meet you, Disagree.
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Sep 24, 2014 23:02
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Blackheart posted:THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT DAMMIT ARGH Let us never e-quibble again, you are a good poster. Here, 
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Sep 26, 2014 14:09
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Mordja posted:So he's a reverse Diaz then? In that he takes a one month hiatus and works on comics the rest of the year, yes.
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Oct 2, 2014 13:56
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Let's talk about NEW FAN ART: ... I don't hate it. I chuckled. SEEN BETTER.
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Oct 3, 2014 23:11
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OH hey, wow, guys, 19 new replies? Is the comic out of hia
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Oct 5, 2014 00:46
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Ratchu posted:dude people can move past it, and heal... Maybe you making criticisms is what summons Gobolatula to this mortal plane. MAYBE YOU ARE SOME KIND OF CRITIC WIZARD Where does 'Gobolatula' come from, anyway? I always think of Gobo from Fraggle Rock.  vvv Edit: same
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Oct 5, 2014 01:28
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Just want to point out this man should have a Patreon and we should be diverting funds into it from Aaron "Pay as you Go, buy me an assistant" Diaz Just saying.
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Oct 8, 2014 14:42
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The guy who made that "Mark Goes to Hell" (non-canon!) comic did another guest mini-arc! He followed up with this: Lame? Maybe. Overdone? Someone said it was too wordy, lol. Buckley's most famous comic ironically has no words at all, but I'm pretty sure all the superfluous dialog is part of the joke. The zombie nurse looks an awful like an infamous panel from another goon's comic, but it is likely a coincidence. If it isn't, I am not sure I want to go down that particular rabbit hole.
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Oct 10, 2014 16:43
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 EARLY RETURN FROM HIATUS! quote:Hi folks. IT HURTS will be back this Monday, 10/13/14. See you soon!
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Oct 12, 2014 01:49
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Afraid of Audio posted:i love this stupid goddamn comic This.
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Oct 13, 2014 05:35
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