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   As most people know, there are no sacred cows in BYOB. Even the most, traditionally, off limits subjects are fair game in the no holds barred atmosphere that BYOB 8.2 has managed to cultivate since its inception. This week, your favorite BYOB posters ruthlessly tear apart your favorite children's television shows. No series, aimed at kids aged 5-11, is safe from the bloodthirsty hounds of everyone's favorite blue forum, once they enter....the BYOB Slaughterhouse. Let's begin with a series I'm sure is near and dear to the hearts of many BYOB posters, Nickelodeon's Rocket Power. First off, obviously, the title. It's poo poo. It's a garbage title. Titles are supposed to tell you something. "Rocket Power" makes me think of adults skateboarding, hanging out by the boardwalk, spaceships, the v-2, and WWII in general, not of a show most likely rated Y-7 starring bland incarnate and his idiot friends (more on that later). Second, running time: 28.4 hours. It's long. Honestly, it's too long. By the end you're wondering, will it ever end? Well it does end, eventually, after what feels like an eternity. If you think movies are long now, just wait until you're 50 episodes into this. Third, character development. Otto is crap. He sucks. His character never really gets fleshed out, despite the painfully long running time (see above). He'll probably be ugly when he enters adulthood, and need glasses too. Squid is remarkably one dimensional, and probably can't do a kickflip to save his life. I can't even remember the others names, thats how bad at their respective extreme sports they are. Lastly, the show is just plain bad, terrible even. Its the mud under my feet, oozing between my toes. Their gear is trash. Their decks are all wrong, the bearings on the skateboard? They're the bad kind, the ones that make the wheels worse for doing tricks. And the trucks?  What didn't they gently caress up. Rating:   /10 (2, bad)Other unsuspecting children's shows ripe for being taken down a notch: Caillou (cancer lol) Sesame Street (this one's jsut good, attempt if you daaarrreee) Dexter's Laboratory (dexter is short, a lot of easy height based ownage potential) Rugrats (easy pickings) Hey Arnold (half of it is done for you, in the show) Magic Schoolbus (???) Arthur (animals are easier to own, in general) Whether it be witty one liners, or impressive photoshops that just make us go: wow, that show sucked poo poo! Post away, and lets take these suckers down. |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:13
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 21:01 |
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ill fuckin cut you if you diss dex lab |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:16
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Dexters Secret posted:ill fuckin cut you if you diss dex lab it's poo poo. [higher pitch]poo poo poo poo[higher, shriller] SSHIT poo poo poo poo it's poo poo!!! dexters a virgin |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:24
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i am he posted:it's poo poo. [higher pitch]poo poo poo poo[higher, shriller] SSHIT poo poo poo poo it's poo poo!!! dexters a virgin 
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Sep 1, 2014 06:32
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i clicked this thread and the thread tag stopped on death while the page loaded haha |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXstGcay5ME biker mice from mars? really? a three year old could come up with a better name for a television show? mars??? played out much??? yeah the 1950's called they want their locational trope back BY THE WAY. can't believe they tried to pass off this garbage as a show why would their space ship have 3 motorcycle cockpits why do they have two-wheeled vehicles on a space ship and LMAO setting the show in chicago who the gently caress do they think they are. 'ooooh look at us buy our toys heee heeh hehee' gently caress THAT right? and BY THE WAY isn't it a funny coincidence that ian ziering the voice actor of the white mouse is also a noted white supremacist who always happens to throw NEO NAZI PROPAGANDA INTO THE SCRIPT EVERY EPISODE?? here's a memory jogger for you: season one episode five a mouse and his motorcycle: vinnie and the other two mice come upon an old jewish man locking up his corner store late at night. vinnie goes on a HUGE tirade about the judocentric western banking system has subverted the spirit of true industry set in stone by our forefathers and re-wrote the constitution to better serve their interests! season one episode thirteen bringing up vinnie: white mouse gets turned into a baby and immediate shits himself all over a picture of the state of israel. after episode climax when vinnie gets turned into his old self he and the shows characters compare their struggle to that of adolf hitler and his 'brave' struggle against those that would taint the great nation he protected and sheparded. OPEN YOUR EYES! OUR CHILDREN MIGHT FIND THIS ON YOUTUBE IN TEN YEARS! BAN TIME WARNER BAN BIKER MICE WAKE UP |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:40
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the character of oscar the grouch is blatantly making fun of homeless people and the mental illness that being forced to live in such conditions entails cookie monster? he promotes diabetes and obesity. the count? he glorifies mathematics and blood lust. big bird? he is just strange and should hang around with people his own size. get this poo poo off the air. |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:44
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are you afraid of the dark? no, i;m not afraid of the dark, the majority of the universe is dark, darkness is just the abscence of light, i embrace it, like a dark knight, if you're afraid of the dark, or of spooky stuff, guess what, you're a f*cking p*nsy. if in your short pathetic boring life you`re fortunate enough to be graced with an paranormal instance, let alone annihilated by it, you should thank your lucky stars fin. |
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Sep 1, 2014 06:59
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| Let's Make a Friend is puerile and pandering, even by kids' show standards, and I'm glad it never got past the pilot. | |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:01
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i'm very afraid of the dark |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:02
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doug, it's poo poo. it's sad and it's weird. all the people are freaky and dystopic and not colorful enough even though they're like a hundred different colors. gently caress off doug -10/-10: Not Kawaii |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:07
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the year is 1996 Rage Against the Machine just released their sophomore album, Evil Empire rebellion buzzed through the airwaves of america  Terror, the product ya push Well I'm a truth addict, aww poo poo I gotta head rush but if you were a young child, you weren't likely to know it. it's altogether more likely that you were being fed a conveniently whitewashed worldview. one full of happy endings and empty of conflicts except for those that could be wrapped up in time for your bedtime at 8:30 pm. Lying always, sucking on a bottle of That sweet indulgent fluid and one figure was at the front of this campaign of complacency  meet doug funny, your sheeple in chief. after a two year hiatus, disney had just renewed the series for a new run. what's the matter, walt? were people starting to wake up? this new run didn't even feature the original voice of doug, billy west, an actually good voice actor (futurama), and one who apparently wasn't willing to play ball with the new regime. his brave act of defiance sadly wasn't enough, as disney stupidly got some idiot to replace him, and he couldn't even do the voice right. Father's expectations Soul soaked in spit and urine the world of doug was a like a terrifying quaalude fueled haze. was there a topical issue that RATM took a powerful and poetic stand against? well doug was there to wash it over. go back to sleep, children, it was only your imagination. racism?  this is skeeter. a joke. a parody of a proud person of color. he can barely speak, and does so mostly in animal-like honks. So now I'm rollin' down Rodeo with a shotgun These people ain't seen a brown skin man Since their grandparents bought one the mental reprogramming has begun. but what about female representation? hosed again. here she is, children, the object of your desire, the apple of your eye. or should i say the candied apple?  patty mayonnaise. mmmm, feel like burgers, kids? i wonder why...  And while the gut eaters strain to pull the mud from their mouths They force our ears to go deaf to the screams in the south what doug did for the state of children's programming in america is akin to what bush did for public safety in iraq  it's a sickening piece of fascist propaganda and the writing is really hit or miss.  / 5And Disney bought the fantasies and piles of eyes And ABC's new thrill ride of trials and lies |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:14
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^ | holy shitttttttttttttttttttt |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:18
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my mind is on the floor right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmHlh6tQAO4 Dexters Secret fucked around with this message at 07:25 on Sep 1, 2014 |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:22
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Classicist posted:the year is 1996 Rage Against the Machine just released their sophomore album, Evil Empire |
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Sep 1, 2014 07:31
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Classicist posted:the year is 1996 Rage Against the Machine just released their sophomore album, Evil Empire |
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Sep 1, 2014 13:23
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headshot |
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Sep 1, 2014 13:36
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holy poo poo classicist |
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Sep 1, 2014 13:45
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Salmiakki posted:holy poo poo classicist |
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Sep 1, 2014 16:37
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Classicist posted:the year is 1996 Rage Against the Machine just released their sophomore album, Evil Empire post of the century |
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Sep 1, 2014 16:58
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i am he posted:
In my class on Jim Henson from college (this means that I am an expert) Sesame Street looked like an amazing project until I learned that the great state of Mississippi banned the show in 1970 because of the interracial cast. I can't think of anything Mississippi has ever gotten wrong so the show must be bad. |
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Sep 1, 2014 17:03
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Hey, paisanos! It's time for a travesty of a cash-in promo show based somewhat on Super Mario Bros. There are live action segments, and cartoon segments, that alternate, each continuing on its own story. They have 2 different stories. You'd think they would have related stories, at the very least thematically, but no! Not one bit. It's as if the live part and the cartoon part had never even heard of each other, other than when they filmed the credits sequences together.  The live action segments feature a weird "haha Brooklyn, am i right?" set, a bizarre amalgam of the Brothers' apartment/plumbing worksite/Italian restaurant/typical Brooklyn marketplace. The delightful Captain Lou Albano (playing Mario) cannot save the terrible writing of these segments. They use slapstick cartoony antics to poor effect, heavily over-use mario sound-effects for basic actions (pick up the phone = get-a-coin noise, "I have an idea!" = power-up noise), and the storylines are just insane and pointless. The shots are often eerily too lingering, but not nearly as much so as the cartoon segments. The live action segments roll into commercial breaks with no warning whatsoever. I get the impression that they didn't even write in "and here we will go to commercial break," nor did the editor care if he/she was fading out on Luigi mid-talking. Then, AFTER the fadeout, there's an awkward commercial bumper with a joke related to the live-action story, and a really bad still shot of the action.   The cartoon segments rag on Italian-Americans as if it were the 1930s. They might as well call the mario brothers "wops" but instead they use Italian food slurs. Imagine Bowser cursing "those pasta plumbers!  " or "the lasagna lovers and their pizza pals! " They make jokes about Mario's love of Italian food all the time. Pasta? Weirdo! Lasagna? Haha you goofer always eating lasagna. Garlic? Yuck!News flash idiots: Italian food isn't "The Other" anymore and it hasn't been since roughly WW2. It's 1989, your audience eats this poo poo every day. It's probably the most basic of mainstream american cuisine at this point other than a hamburger. The stories are terrible and usually feature Bowser trying to get, trick, kill, trap, etc. the Mario Bros and/or princess with various weird schemes. Most of the time, Bowser has them right in his clutches since the beginning of the episode, but he waits to spring his idiotic "trap" which is usually sprung excruciatingly slowly as he laughs maniacally at them. Example: release the monster! Door opens, monster is standing there for an awkward 3-second lingering shot, then monster is walking towards them for an awkward 5-second looping shot. Meanwhile they are outside and it would be trivial to just leave. Almost every episode involves Mario wanting to eat Italian food. There is no context about what life is like in the mushroom kingdom except where it's convenient to the storyline, and even then it doesn't really make sense - you're going to the roman empire to have a pasta dinner fundraiser to build a mushroom kingdom orphanage?? Where is the mushroom kingdom? Where are its boundaries? I thought koopa's kingdom was the only other game in town?? How has there been a roman empire right there all along? After the whole thing is done, the end credits sequence implores you to Do The Mario.  How, you ask? Swing your arms from side to side Come on, it's time to go, do the Mario! Take one step, and then again Let's do the Mario, altogether now! So... walking? Walking is doing the mario? Yes, and we watch Captain Lou dancing, awkwardly spliced here and there into the cartoon world, as the credits roll. Can we at least close off on a dignified note?  Nope, they couldn't even bother to edit out or re-shoot Captain Lou awkwardly kinda falling while striking this pose. Not in a funny way, just in a "why didn't you re-shoot that" way. Overall: almost unwatchable, though worth having a look with some booze and a good friend to make fun of it. Wouldn't recommend more than 2 episodes.  / 10
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Sep 1, 2014 17:10
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Holy poo poo BYOB what is all this A+ content |
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Sep 1, 2014 17:32
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more like byobs laughterhouse |
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Sep 1, 2014 18:10
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This thread inspired me to do more than 
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Sep 1, 2014 19:44
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eyes look like pac-men with their backs pressed up the lense, screaming in terror at something lurking in the rear of the mario bros skulls.... |
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Sep 1, 2014 19:49
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bacalou posted:eyes look like pac-men with their backs pressed up the lense, screaming in terror at something lurking in the rear of the mario bros skulls.... the ones at the top even have dramatic shadows 
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Sep 1, 2014 20:22
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Sep 1, 2014 20:35
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lol |
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Sep 1, 2014 20:42
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Classicist posted:the year is 1996 Rage Against the Machine just released their sophomore album, Evil Empire awesome |
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Sep 1, 2014 21:50
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Samurai Pizza Cats? Really? Are you loving kidding me right now? |
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Sep 2, 2014 01:52
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that picture is atrociously large |
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Sep 2, 2014 02:12
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10 Things That Prove the Popular Children's Show Arthur was Really Really Bad and Also Describe My Feelings Towards It 1.  Child abuse is really good!!! Oh wait, its the year of our loving Lord 2014 and no it isn't!!! 2.  A sad attempt at an homage to the classic novella, The Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the song "Jekyll and Hyde" ended up merely insulting the haunting dichotomy presented to us by Robert Louis Stevenson. Childhood Enjoyment of Significant Achievement in Literature Status: Ruined because of this episode. 3.  When somebody tells me that Arthur taught a lot of good lessons to young children and the characters were diverse enough to keep each episode interesting. 4. Arthur is good!!  5.  When I had to wait for Arthur to be over before I could watch Antiques Roadshow. Even as a kid I enjoyed Antiques Roadshow, I guess I was mature for my age but by this point everybody should realize gaining an appreciation for material history is more important than an anthropomorphic aardvark's daily life. 6.  Haha ok, thats good actually. 7.  Finding out Ziggy Marley (not as good as Bob Marley who wrote some of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard) performed the theme song. 8.  This is how I feel when people tell me some of the humor was actually fairly adult oriented so parents could watch it with their kids and derive some enjoyment from it. 9.  Now that I'm an adult this gif shows how I react to people who liked Muffy the best out of all the humanoid animals. If I had to pick it would obviously be Francine because she actually showed a lot of varied emotion and was allowed to develop as a character. 10.  Other people's reactions when I sit them down and show them shows like Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, and The Wire that are way better than Arthur and deal with mature ideas in an eloquent way, unlike Arthur. |
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Sep 2, 2014 02:26
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i am he posted:10 Things That Prove the Popular Children's Show Arthur was Really Really Bad and Also Describe My Feelings Towards It lmfao |
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Sep 2, 2014 02:28
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i am he posted:5. |
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Sep 2, 2014 02:37
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Are They Good? The Surprising Truth About 11 Kid's TV Shows 1.  Nope 2.  No 3.  Nuh-uh 4.  Nopers 5.  gently caress no! 6.  No...just...no 7.  Nopin' Sesame 8.  No way 9.  On a scale of 1-Nope, definite nope 10.  No no no 11.  Absolutely...NOT |
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Sep 2, 2014 03:16
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dogcrash truther posted:Are They Good? The Surprising Truth About 11 Kid's TV Shows Don't want to imagine a world where this MOTHERFUCKER is a suitable field agent. |
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Sep 2, 2014 03:19
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paco650 posted:Don't want to imagine a world where this MOTHERFUCKER is a suitable field agent. Welcome to OBama's America |
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Sep 2, 2014 03:21
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dogcrash truther posted:Are They Good? The Surprising Truth About 11 Kid's TV Shows lol |
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Sep 2, 2014 03:32
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 21:01 |
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TOP THREE WAYS WAS A BAD SHOW Ostensibly a show for teens, Nickelodeon's Hey Dude was primer for tweens in how to be an awful. It was sexist and racist, and probably other ist's too. You the viewer identified with Buddy, the bumbling city-slicker owner's son.  1. An important lesson oft reviewed was that girls were just as good, if not better, at handling horses and chores and challenges than boys. Girls rule boys drool! That's feminism, right? 2. It was also important to feel good about the inclusion of a Hopi Indian. Hey Dude was multicultural, y'all! No need to get too deep into this, I think Ted's fallen in the water trough again brb gotta save him. 3. Finally I leave you with this, perhaps the greatest reason why Hey Dude is contemptible. Imagine the reality of a dude ranch run by a bunch of teenagers too busy playing grab-rear end to work. It had to suck to be a guest--you spent your time and money on this!--but for Hey Dude, your vacation is merely a plot device. |
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Sep 2, 2014 03:41
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