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Salmiakki posted:holy poo poo classicist |
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Sep 1, 2014 16:37
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 05:27 |
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Hey, paisanos! It's time for a travesty of a cash-in promo show based somewhat on Super Mario Bros. There are live action segments, and cartoon segments, that alternate, each continuing on its own story. They have 2 different stories. You'd think they would have related stories, at the very least thematically, but no! Not one bit. It's as if the live part and the cartoon part had never even heard of each other, other than when they filmed the credits sequences together.  The live action segments feature a weird "haha Brooklyn, am i right?" set, a bizarre amalgam of the Brothers' apartment/plumbing worksite/Italian restaurant/typical Brooklyn marketplace. The delightful Captain Lou Albano (playing Mario) cannot save the terrible writing of these segments. They use slapstick cartoony antics to poor effect, heavily over-use mario sound-effects for basic actions (pick up the phone = get-a-coin noise, "I have an idea!" = power-up noise), and the storylines are just insane and pointless. The shots are often eerily too lingering, but not nearly as much so as the cartoon segments. The live action segments roll into commercial breaks with no warning whatsoever. I get the impression that they didn't even write in "and here we will go to commercial break," nor did the editor care if he/she was fading out on Luigi mid-talking. Then, AFTER the fadeout, there's an awkward commercial bumper with a joke related to the live-action story, and a really bad still shot of the action.   The cartoon segments rag on Italian-Americans as if it were the 1930s. They might as well call the mario brothers "wops" but instead they use Italian food slurs. Imagine Bowser cursing "those pasta plumbers!  " or "the lasagna lovers and their pizza pals! " They make jokes about Mario's love of Italian food all the time. Pasta? Weirdo! Lasagna? Haha you goofer always eating lasagna. Garlic? Yuck!News flash idiots: Italian food isn't "The Other" anymore and it hasn't been since roughly WW2. It's 1989, your audience eats this poo poo every day. It's probably the most basic of mainstream american cuisine at this point other than a hamburger. The stories are terrible and usually feature Bowser trying to get, trick, kill, trap, etc. the Mario Bros and/or princess with various weird schemes. Most of the time, Bowser has them right in his clutches since the beginning of the episode, but he waits to spring his idiotic "trap" which is usually sprung excruciatingly slowly as he laughs maniacally at them. Example: release the monster! Door opens, monster is standing there for an awkward 3-second lingering shot, then monster is walking towards them for an awkward 5-second looping shot. Meanwhile they are outside and it would be trivial to just leave. Almost every episode involves Mario wanting to eat Italian food. There is no context about what life is like in the mushroom kingdom except where it's convenient to the storyline, and even then it doesn't really make sense - you're going to the roman empire to have a pasta dinner fundraiser to build a mushroom kingdom orphanage?? Where is the mushroom kingdom? Where are its boundaries? I thought koopa's kingdom was the only other game in town?? How has there been a roman empire right there all along? After the whole thing is done, the end credits sequence implores you to Do The Mario.  How, you ask? Swing your arms from side to side Come on, it's time to go, do the Mario! Take one step, and then again Let's do the Mario, altogether now! So... walking? Walking is doing the mario? Yes, and we watch Captain Lou dancing, awkwardly spliced here and there into the cartoon world, as the credits roll. Can we at least close off on a dignified note?  Nope, they couldn't even bother to edit out or re-shoot Captain Lou awkwardly kinda falling while striking this pose. Not in a funny way, just in a "why didn't you re-shoot that" way. Overall: almost unwatchable, though worth having a look with some booze and a good friend to make fun of it. Wouldn't recommend more than 2 episodes.  / 10
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Sep 1, 2014 17:10
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Lizard Wizard posted:can someone do invader zim and/or catdog? tia I haven't seen Tia post here in a while, I wouldn't wait around for her to do it |
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Sep 3, 2014 18:46
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CAT BRUSH posted:hey arnold sucked actually i think that's what he meants on scale of goodness: these cartoons > slaughterhouse work > hey arnold |
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Sep 5, 2014 15:07
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saboten posted:hong kong phooey Somebody fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Sep 6, 2014 |
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Sep 6, 2014 05:34
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